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Posts by koraykirdinli
Name: Koray Kırdinli
Joined: Nov 29, 2014
Last Post: Dec 5, 2014
Threads: 3
Posts: 7  

School: Bahçeşehir

Displayed posts: 10
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koraykirdinli   
Dec 4, 2014
Writing Feedback / Dance is very important for the popularity of the country. [3]

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Dancing plays an important role in a culture.

There has been much debate on whether or not dance is crutial for culture. Culture is made of some traditions such as food, clothes, customs and also dance and the majority of people believe that dance has a significant place in a culture. In my perspective, dance is one the most important piece of the culture. I have some reasons about it. Dance helps culture to be popular and well known. Besides, dance brings people together an make them relax.

To begin with, it is a well known fact that every region has a unique dance style. For example, Europa and America continets have very different dance styles. Also, there are many differences in same continent such as Germany traditional dance and Holland traditional dance. This uniqueness brings the popularity. To highlight this point lets say, Brasillian dance is known all over the world and Brasil is famous for samba. This populariy also provides advertisement income and also economic welfare. In my own experince, in high school I attended a traditional dance group in Turkey as a dancer. We went various countries to promote our dance with my team because we wanted to show our culture and its beauties to other nations. It was incredebly good experience for us. This event was really helpful to increase the popularity of our culture. As a result of this, many tourists visited our country by the help of our dance plays.

In addition to previous point, dance brings intelligent beings together and also helps to introduce new people. In every countries, these kind of social events are very vital for the society. Due to the fact that, when you go dancing, you would spend your time very funny. People looks generally happy while they are dancing. As an illustrution in my high school, I really had great times, and I introduced my wife in our dance group.

All in all, dance is very important for the popularity of the country. Furthermore, it is a social activity that brings people in one place. That's not to say, of course, other things are not important, however the points that I provided are stronger.
koraykirdinli   
Nov 30, 2014
Undergraduate / She's the one that gave me life, she is the person who helps me a lot - my mom. [8]

r for her caring,loving,she is the person i can share everything with and that's the reason i worship her so much.
She has got a big heart and she possesses love for everyone.
we study,talk and cook together,she is energetic,open minded very close to me,hardworking one of my best friends.

Its too short Salma you should divide your essay 4 main paragraphs. Introduction 2 body and 1 conclusion. If it is speaking text no problem.
koraykirdinli   
Nov 29, 2014
Writing Feedback / Would you prefer Indoor or Outdoor for your leisure activities. [4]

Some people prefer to spend their free time outdoors. Other people prefer to spend their leisure time indoors. Would you prefer to be outside, or would you prefer to be inside for your leisure activities? Use specific reasons and examples to explain your choice.

Some people prefer to spend their leisure time indoors, however some of them spend their free time outdoor. This preference is up to the type of personality. On the one hand, if a person is extrovert, he would choose to be outside. On the other hand, if a person is introvert, he would choose spend his leisure time indoors. I am an extrovert person, therefore I would prefer to be outside. I have some reasons about it. First fresh air makes me relax and being outside is funnier than indoors.

To begin with, it is well known fact that people would feel good if they spend their free time outdoors. Fresh air makes people healthy and helps to be refreshed. Due to the fact that there are many activities to do in open air. To highlight this point lets say playing tennis, playing football, tracking, going to seaside, wandering in the park are just a couple of activities that can be done. When the weather is sunny, everybody generally wants to go out to do these kind of activities. If you stay at home for a long time, you might feel depressed and it is also not good for your physical and mental healthy. In my own experince, I feel really good when I go out. My wife and I are both extrovertial people so when my wife and I stay at home for a long time, we would always debate, because we are very bored at home and there is nothing interesting at home.

In addition to previous point, the majority of people thinks that going outside is funnier than staying at home. For example when you meet with your friends near the seaside, you have lots of things to do. To illustrate, last summer we always go to fishing with my friends every weekend. It was very enjoyable for me, mainly because it was a different activity we had ever done together. We would bring some food and drink with us and we would sing songs and dance like a picnic. After that we would swim in the river. It was really good and memorable activity for us.

All in all, the preference of indoors and outdoors is depend of the personality. However, from my point of view going outside is better. That is not to say, of course, staying at home is not completely terrible, however the reasons I provided are stronger.
koraykirdinli   
Nov 29, 2014
Writing Feedback / IELTS essay. Deforestation caused by human activity. [4]

For instance, on the countryside where the nature is not touched (!!! )we can notice how fresh the air is but in the cities with virtually no trees the air is polluted by cars and industries.

I think, this is very long and confusing sentence. Sounds a problem with it but I could not expain..
koraykirdinli   
Nov 29, 2014
Writing Feedback / If you could create a new holiday, what person or event would it honor, the way of celebration [4]

Please can you give me feedback about my TOEFL ESSAY.

Holidays honor people or events. If you could create a new holiday,what person or event would it honor and how would you want people to celebrate it? Use specific reasons and details to support your answer.

Holidays have a good effect on intelligent beings, therefore every country has national holidays to make people fun and relax such as Halloween, New Year's Day, Memorial Day, Independence Day, Labor Day, Thanksgiving, and Christmas. From my perspective, if I have a chance to create a new holiday, I would create "engineer day" and I would let them not go work for one day. I have some reasons about it.

To begin with, it is a well known fact that engineers have a difficult job. They start working hard at college, moreover they continue to work hard when they graduated. Nowadays, countries make lots of investments to gain competitive advantage and engineers have a crutial role for this. In my opinion, government should make some activities such as holiday for the engineers. May be engineers come together in special places with their families and my be they can buy everything very cheaper in there. For example, employees do not work in labor day and day come together in a city square. They want their rights to be better. Engineer day should be as labor day. Engineers should have a opportunity to tell their troubles, pressıres to the government.

In addition to previous point, the holiday will be a good opportunity for many people to relax and rejuvenate their spirits,Engineers should work in good conditions to be beneficial for their country. On the one hand, engineers earn much money. On the other hand they have to work hard, therefore they need some relaxation to do their job well. In my own experience, I am a computer engineer and I am always busy, as a result I do not have enough time to handle my social life properly. I could not spend enough my time with my family regarding to my job. If there is a engineer day, I would spend all my time with my wife and children. I could also consider I am valuable for my country, due to the fact that engineers have a special day.

All in all, engineers are very important for the future of a country and their problems should be considered. That is not to say, of course, other occupations are not important, however engineering has a vital role for the future of the country because of the reasons that I thought.
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