Writing Feedback / Discuss the extent to which you agree or not with the recommendation of increase spending on art [3]

Issue : Governments should invest as much in the arts as they do in the military. GRE essay prompt

Task : Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the recommendation and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, describe specific circumstances in which adopting the recommendation would or would not be advantageous and explain how these examples shape your position

PLEASE CRITIC MY ESSAY: How much I am abiding to the task and about the sentences in the essay
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The investment of the government should be to keep its subject sound and healthy both culturally and politically. For this an ideal government should be enthusiastic in encouraging its arts forms as much as in the military.

The stability of a government depends on its military and defense, especially when at the time of attacks from outside the country. But the stability of government means, the mental and physical peace of its subjects and society. For societies of the nation to flourish, arts have its inevitable position.

Arts are created for the progress of human creativity and imagination for the improvement of a society. These art forms enhance the inter relation between societies and countries and even its own citizens. For example , a national art form like a music have its own strength of influence in keeping the inter relationship of the people with in nation and outside nation since music is enjoyed by all people across race, class, and nationality.

Quiet often military come in play when a relation between a nation to nation or society to a society is deteriorated. And a military interference is always associated with violence and pandemonium and wide scale destruction. Prolonged period of famine or distress can occur. For example when a war between India and Pakistan, the people of both side suffered a lot, especially, those in the border side, lost their loved ones , some divided, others gone orphan or widows. But these situations could be avoided if a better international relation was in place, here in case the dispute over the Kashmir land. If a strong cultural relation was in place between these people they could come in a table and discuss several matters and settle before the first gun to murder a human being.

Here the people of India and Pakistan are ethnically similar and a lot of art forms could bind them are brothers. For example their traditional art forms and daces could have able to intermingle these people like brothers and sisters keeping away the way of arm for dispute at far.

So to conclude, one country should invest in arts since, it can keep the society in unity, and further avoid the unnecessary use of military.

Writing Feedback / GRE prompt ( argument ): Sufficient evidences for a small scale business loan ? [2]

Question : The following was written as a part of an application for a small-business loan by a group of developers in the city of Monroe.

"Jazz music is extremely popular in the city of Monroe: over 100,000 people attended Monroe's annual jazz festival last summer, and the highest-rated radio program in Monroe is 'Jazz Nightly,' which airs every weeknight. Also, a number of well-known jazz musicians own homes in Monroe. Nevertheless, the nearest jazz club is over an hour away. Given the popularity of jazz in Monroe and a recent nationwide study indicating that the typical jazz fan spends close to $1,000 per year on jazz entertainment, a jazz music club in Monroe would be tremendously profitable."

PROMPT : Write a response in which you examine the stated and/or unstated assumptions of the argument. Be sure to explain how the argument depends on these assumptions and what the implications are for the argument if the assumptions prove unwarranted.

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CAN ANY ONE CRITIC ON MY ESSAY ( GRE argument prompt )
Kindly consider how the essay follows the prompt's requirements:-

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The developers in the city tries to declare the people in Monroe is very popular in jazz music and so, the a allotment for a loan for a jazz music club development is genuine. However, the evidences and the situations explained by the group do not suffice the profitability from the music club to repay the loan.

First of all the development group putting forward the numbers of people attended the city's last year summer jazz festival. It is true that a large population attended the festival but that could be population came from outside the city. Since it was a summer program and many people came for summer vacation to this city for being a comparatively cooler place. So, if the profitability is based on these biased numbers of the attendees of this festival, the jazz music club cannot expect that much numbers of jazz music fans , since a indigenous music club mostly cater a local population. Hence the group of developers could go into a financial crisis from the lack of fans, and hence the loan could become unbearable to them eventually.

Having supposing the population of the city are a great fan of jazz music, the developers cannot pretend their affordability to pay the sum of money the jazz music club planning for the fee. It is true, the developers putting forward an nationwide study of the spending capacity of the jazz fans. But since it is a nationwide study, it could be possible that , the population of the Monroe city may be below the national average spending capacity. If that is the case , even in the midst of the a jazz music fans, this jazz music club sometimes ( possibly ) a luxury music club could deprived of a sufficient members to produce( make) a profit. Here also the group of developers can go astray in repaying the loan from the music club's profit.

After all the implication in the group of developers, that the profit generated by the jazz music club is sufficient to re pay the loan granted to them is no way a sufficient (plausible ) one based ( basing ) on their given evidences.

Writing Feedback / GRE prompt: Any information referred to be mistrusted, since it may prove false in the future. [3]

Claim: Any piece of information referred to as a fact should be mistrusted, since it may well be proven false in the future.
Reason: Much of the information that people assume is factual actually turns out to be inaccurate.
Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the claim and the reason on which that claim is based.

CAN ANY BODY COMMENT ON MY ESSAY; CONCERNING THE ARGUMENT LAYOUT AND EXAMPLE USED.
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Information provided to us to be taken with caution, and commonsense, while it is as important as to keep analyzing the information with our available resources for confirmation.

Human history is rife with examples of information misled them drastically and even egregiously. Science is a discipline, uses evidence and proof to postulate theories, after elaborate discussions and confirmations. Still there are instances were science misled people. For example calcium oxalate is a compound in tomatoes and in kidney crystalline deposits ( kidney stone). And hence tomato consumption was taken for the cause of kidney stone formation. As this was a scientific postulation, many of the scientific community including doctors discouraged eating tomatoes even to healthy individuals. As tomato is comparatively cheap nutritious vegetable , many poor people had to avoid it form their daily diet and to depend on costly vegetables for a long period of time. But the case was eventually proved that the consumption could not be accountable for the kidney stone formation, even though it is a compound present in it. So the information proved to be inaccurate.

If the first information, even though by a scientific community, was taken with much caution, or at least had avoided publishing to the general public , it would have helped not to put the indigent to confusion.

At same time we should not neglect all information coming to us considering it may prove inaccurate in the future. It is also dangerous. We must be vigilant if we adopt it or keep watching if we avoid accepting it.

Writing Feedback / Free - tuition policy by University for luring new professors - argument response [3]

The letter from the faculty committee about the free tuition policy is devoided of necessery enquiry and thought. A study done in a near by university may not be hold true for all cases to another university since the circumstances and situations differs drastically in both case. And also, the previous study proved to have increased retention of professors may not apply for luring new professors.

First of all the professors of Oceania University could be comparitivly old university and most of them are elder to have college aged children and that may not be the case of the Seatown University. As it says " for luring new professor" it may be newer one. And may be most professors are younger and may not be married even. So , for introducing a free tuition plan for the Seatown university to get the intended result , enquire the family status for its future professor. If they or largely not married, other schemes like a free apartments, or gymnasiums may work better for this purpose.

Secondly, the study from the Oceania University was proved to retain the professors more- not to attract new professors. It may be possible that because of the worry of detaching their college age children out of their habituated study environment, the professors are not willing to change their University for job. So if it is the condition, it is possible that the new professors may try to avoid to get into a trap by teaching at Seatown university and get them also unable to shift or transfer to any other place worrying about their children's future.In this case, this university may look for the need of the new children of the prospective professors and address them specifically to achive their indented goal.

As the suggestion from the Seatown University faculty commettiee seems an attractive one, it should be correlated to the previous study specifically for each situation for achieving the results.

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A GRE argument essay written in just 30 mins ( including brain storming, typing and proof reading) kindly comment on it
especially on the grammar side and usages.

Writing Feedback / GRE - young people to not be advised to "follow your dreams," but to go for" worthy goals" [2]

Claim: Even though young people often receive the advice to "follow your dreams," more emphasis should be placed on picking worthy goals.

Reason: Many people's dreams are inherently selfish.

Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the claim AND the reason on which that claim is based.

To fall to a general opinion of selfishness , it is truly dangerous to cull the creativity of youth , which is the building bock of a healthy society.They should be encouraged to follow their dreams on the guidance of mentors.

Youthfull ness it self is characteristic of its enthusiasm and energy.Their enthusiasm emanates form their dreams. This is what phycology states. Their dreams are generally carried from thier childhood. As they see the society, how well they can modify the community, or develop the society, all comes to thier dreams, and as they grow up to youth, they seek opportunities for achiving their dreams. When they are sucessful , the society is benifited and community improves. For achiving thier goals, these youths are ready to endure any harsh situations and difficulties. These secton of youths are the jewels of the human kind- they always add on to the well being of humanity.For example a Oscar award winning Indian actor Mr. Amithab Bachan, gone through very pathetic experiences to achive his dream to become an actor. He could make his input to the filim field.If he had abandon his dream for a " worthy goal" we could get a lower division clerck or a police constable from him.

The term ' worthy goal' more look like a quatadian job mostly under some management or by goverment, providing the necessery wherewithal for a month and a grand retirement sum. This is not the society needs for the time. Every body is encouraged to follow the " worthy goals" and the these so called worty goals are consumed up quickly, as it is easly achivable and the result is unempolyment. And nobody is left to follow an ambitious goal. The society is left wanding, hungry of challenging youth to take up the task.

While follwoing the dreams, youth must think practically too. They should find the necessery money for thier survial and aware the be motivated and let not go out of focus and to selfish. There is a dangerous chance for this , Here, the advice of the eldery and faculty comes to play. They can guide them to the porper way.

So we have to encourage the youth to achieve their dreams

This an essay wrote in 30 minutes ( as the question requires) - please comment on this essay