Writing Feedback / Some offices has put ban on smoking in workplace. What do you think? [6]

for example for chapter one

... the social and educational systems are trying to inform and alert the society about its effects. Yet, smoking takes the lives of thousands every year and it seems that, compared to huge investments of tobacco companies on cigarette advertisements , the educational system (...) persuading people to abstain from smoking.

...This essay will discuss the reasons behind this decision.

Writing Feedback / Some offices has put ban on smoking in workplace. What do you think? [6]

hello. please consider your grammar and sentence structures. it can be helpful if you gave someone to proofread. i would also advise you to cite and reference your work well. thank you

Writing Feedback / The proportion of British people who saw the film in forth age groups on two decades after 1990 [2]

instead of fourth age groups, it should be four age groups.
the second sentence should be; most viewers were from age group 24-44, while the least number of viewers was from age group 14-24.
the second paragraph should start this way: a decade after the survey, there was a shift in the proportion of cinema attendance. age groups 44-54 and 34-44 had the highest and second highest number of cinema attendants, with 37% and 35% respectively while the least number of attendants were aged between age 14-24, at 15%. the year 2000 saw the percentage attendance of viewers aged between 24-34 fall slightly, to 19%. after 2000, the percentage of cinema attendance rose significantly for most age groups, as almost all age groups had their attendance percentage rise by a third. as of last year, the assessment showed that the percentage attendance of viewers between age group 44-54 and 34-44 rose to 52% and 42% respectively but the percentage attendance was constant for the age group 24-34 (33%). for the viewers aged 14-24, the percentage attendance rose to 21%.

lastly, the y-axis should be labelled as 'percentage attendance'.

Writing Feedback / Is having a healthy lifestyle difficult these days? [4]

A healthy lifestyle is a way of living that lowers the risk of being seriously ill or dying early. More so a healthy lifestyle keeps you fit and energetic. Healthy lifestyle is the one that keeps and improve people's health and wellbeing. Good nutrition, daily exercise and adequate sleep are among the foundations of healthy lifestyle.

However in the modern lifestyle, it is becoming hard for people to practice healthy living. This is much attributed to by change in diets, introductions of machines and other easier way of doing things among others. It is clear that nowadays many people are consuming fast foods which are main causes of cholesterol. People have also introduced machines which tend to reduce physical actions. For instance staircases has much been substituted with lifts. Walking and cycling is not an option anymore.

But still people can be healthy and fit and live a healthy lifestyle. Watching on the diet is the key to healthy lifestyle. Having a balanced diet will largely contribute to a healthy lifestyle. There is also available modern training and exercising equipments, daily exercise will keep one on a form healthy lifestyle.

Writing Feedback / A breakdown of the integration problems for people of different age who live overseas [3]

The chat shows problems faced by people living in foreign countries. It is clear that sorting finances is the main problem to many people who are living in foreign countries. People aged 35-54 years are highly affected with their colleagues aged between 18-34 years slightly less affected. People above 55 years are not as much affected as these young bloods.

Sorting out healthcare is also a major problem, with the elderly most affected. People above 35 years are highly affected compared to those aged 18 to 34 years of age.

Finding school for children is also a challenge but not severe as sorting out healthcare and finances. People aged over 55 years are the least affected followed by those ranging between 18 years and 34 years. This may because normally people falling on these age groups are not likely to have school going children opposed to those aged between 35-54 years who are majorly affected.

Writing Feedback / The list and description of different underground railway systems in six cities of three continents [2]

The table consist of underground railway systems in six different cities with opening dates, kilometre coverage and passengers per year. it shows that London is the oldest, opened in 1863 covers 396 Km, Paris is second, opened in 1900 and covers a total of 199 Km less than London. Tokyo was opened 1927 and covers 155 km slightly shorter than Paris. Washington opened in 1976 covers 126 KM. Kyoto was opened in 1981 and is the shortest covering 11 Km. Los Angeles is the newest and second shortest from Kyoto, it was opened in 2001 and covers a total of 28 KM.

Also it clearly indicates, London underground railway system records the highest number of passengers, totalling to 775 million passengers per year. Paris is the second with 1191 million followed by Tokyo with 1927 million and Washington with 144 million. Despite Kyoto being the smallest it records 45 million passengers per year, 5 million less than Los Angeles that records 50 million.

Writing Feedback / Writing Task 1: total population of old people in three different countries [5]

The line graphs showing the total population of aged generation against time in years can reveal that USA between 1940 and 1960 had approximately 10% of old people of the total population, this increased to15% between 1960to 1980 which slightly reduced from the year 1980 to the year 2000. It seems this will remain constant to up to the year 2020, then it will increase to 20% between years 2020 and 2040.

Sweden between 1940 and 1960 the population of the aged is between 5% and 10%, this shoot to around 14% from 1960 to 1980, it then drops slightly between 1980 and 1990. the year 200 record a rise up to 15% and up to 20% from year 2000 and beyond. The population will drop to around 17% on the year 2020 and shoot to 25% by year 2040.

In Japan on the other hand, the old age population seems to decline from 5% to 2% between year 1940 and 1960, this remain constant up to the year 1980 and slightly shoots back to 5% by the year 2000, followed by a large increase up to 10% by year 2020 and above 25% by year 2040.

Writing Feedback / Writing Task 2: the argument of spending money in art, education or health [5]

Health is the most important thing in every human being. Investing in quality health care is the first priority a government of any country should consider. Education on the other hand is equally important in every nation. Education is basically the foundation of development and economy boost.

Arts is a diverse range of human activities in creating visual, performing artworks or technical skills. Arts are largely influenced by talents and obeys.

Despite a large percentage of young people being educated in most countries, securing a formal job is still a challenge. Most graduates are nowadays turning arts and talents to money making activities and ideas. Arts have transformed from being talents and obeys influenced activities to job and business creations. To encourage, motivate and enable young people who are making a living from arts, government should largely invest in arts as well.

Therefore art, education and health are essential in any given country and they all need attention and funds allocation.

Writing Feedback / Museums and art galleries cannot provide the convenient condition for the visitors [2]

A museum is an institution that conserves arts collections and other objects of cultural, historical or scientific importance and make them available for viewing through exhibits. On the other hand art gallery is a place where visual art is exhibited. Museums provide an effective way of learning by creating an informal learning attitude and centre. This help individuals to acquire attitudes, values, skills and knowledge from cultural, historical or/and scientific influences. Museums also inspires Interest in area of study, market or skill. These among other reasons make museums an exclusive place to visit for cultural/historical exhibition.

On the other hand advance in technology has made it easier for people to learn about the arts collection found in museums. However we cannot say museums and art galleries are not providing convenient condition for their visitors. This is because computers only give narration of historical objects whereas museums provide real visual experience, hence creating personal reinterpretation over time.

However, nowadays museums are turning to technology to boost attendance. So with help of technology museums and art galleries will remain relevant.