Undergraduate / Phage Genomics Course Entrance Essay; discovery-based science interest - course participating [2]

Hi,

For a class I want to be in for the fall semester, I have to apply by writing an essay. The instructions are: Please submit an essay (approximately 400-500 words) describing why you want to participate in the course. You can refer to the description for information on the course. Your essay will be evaluated on the following criteria:

* an interest in doing discovery-based science
* a willingness to carry a major responsibility for your own learning
* an attitude of independence of thought and action

I've written an essay, but could you guys please help me edit it? Tell me what you think? I really want to be in this class. Thank you so much in advance.

positive experience with both genetics and research

On the first day of my Molecular Genetics class, a lab-based class, I was surprised to learn that in addition to several labs, our class would also be competing in the UC Berkeley research bioengineering competition. Our class would be split into groups and each group would have to identify a problem and research a potential solution to this problem using bioengineering principles. Then, we would go to UC Berkeley and present our problem, research, and solution to a panel of professors in the bioengineering department, our success in which would be a large portion of our second semester grade.

In the months leading up to our trip to Berkeley, I dreaded the project. However, three months later, after finishing the project, I found myself surprised at how much I enjoyed it. Our group took the problem of world hunger, the lay man's term for nutritional edema, and after thorough research, came up with the solution of genetically modified rice that would produce all nine essential amino acids. This rice would be given to impoverished and malnourished countries and would help cure nutritional edema. Because this project was purely theoretical, we never got to actually genetically modify the rice, which was disappointing to me. Though I had originally dreaded the project, I found that after completing it, I actually wanted to continue the project.

Not only did I enjoy the experience, but it inspired me and gave me direction in what I wanted to do for a career. I've always loved solving problems and helping people and knew that I wanted to do something in the fields of neuroscience and psychology. But after that project, it suddenly clicked: research was the right path for me. The project showed me how invaluable the realm of research is in solving the world's forefront problems in science. And now I know that I want to be a part of solving the most prevalent issues in neuroscience and psychology through genetics research. I want to help cure mental illnesses, a seemingly rising issue in today's society, by helping discover which genes contribute to causing them. Not only would I find the class material fascinating, but the research involved in the Phage Genomics class would prepare me for what I want to do. Given that I want to do discovery-based research into which genes contribute to certain mental illnesses, having a background in discovery-based research with bacteriophages in the Phage Genomics class would significantly prepare me for my goals. My positive experience with both genetics and research has influenced my career path and has motivated me to continue exploring and quenching my curiosity about the fascinating worlds of genetics and research. Because of these experiences and after learning about the class, I am very excited about potentially taking Phage Genomics and learning more about the fields and techniques that I hope to make and use in my career.

Scholarship / Case Western Alexander A. Treuhaft Memorial Scholarship Essay [3]

Hi! This is my essay for the Case Western Alexander A. Treuhaft Memorial Scholarship Essay. It is due tomorrow so I would really appreciate some feedback on it. Thank you so much!

Essay Topic (250 - 500 words): "No problem can be solved by the same consciousness that created it. We need to see the world anew." - Albert Einstein

Identify a problem in the world of science or engineering that can be solved by looking at the world anew. Describe your solution.

new consciousness

After interning at a spine clinic last summer and shadowing a spine surgeon, I took away one recurring theme that applied to all problems, medical or otherwise, that the only way to cure or fix a problem is to treat and fix the source of the problem. When the surgeon diagnosed the patients' spine condition, such as a herniated disc or spinal stenosis, he would then discuss with the patient the various treatment options. The four options he presented to his patients were: do nothing, pain management injections, physical therapy, or surgery. Many patients were daunted by the thought of surgery, but the surgeon always made the point that without treating the source of the pain by fixing the structural problem in the patients' spine through surgery, the pain, the problem, will never go away, and will often get worse with time, and thus often convinced patients to have the surgery. The more I thought about this concept, that the way to fix a problem was to fix the source, the more I realized how much it related to all areas of science and other areas of life as well.

For so many years, especially in the treatment of psychological disorders and mental illnesses such as depression and bipolar disorder, psychologists were just treating the symptoms to no real gain. Because treating the symptoms of these conditions does not provide permanent relief, this problem of psychological disorders and mental illnesses needs to be considered from a new perspective, and can be solved by looking at the problem anew. Instead of just treating the symptoms, as doctors have been doing since the acknowledgement of these conditions, the conditions need to be stifled and cured by finding the source and fixing whatever is causing it neurologically. In recent years, this has been the trend in psychology. Psychology and neuroscience are increasingly overlapping as researchers look to the physiology within the brain to find the causes of certain psychological disorders. All problems stem from a source. Finding this source and fixing it will effectively cure these mental illnesses that one and four American adults suffer from. At this point, psychology is still transitioning into its partnership with neuroscience, but in order for the cures for these mental illnesses to be discovered and developed, psychology needs to stop treating the symptoms and needs to complete the merger and dependence on neuroscience to find the sources of these issues to lead to a cure to mental illnesses that plague over 57 million people in America each year. Just like back pain has a physiological source such as a herniated disc, so also do mental illnesses have physiological sources and these illnesses can only be cured by fixing the source through neuroscience, a perspective that differs from the past conventional methods of simply treating the symptoms.

Undergraduate / We want to get to know you better. Description by a friend. Colgate University Supplemental Essay [4]

Hi, could you please edit this supplemental essay to Colgate University and also comment on it? Thank you so much!

Prompt: We want to get to know you better. What are three words that your best friend would use to describe you and why? 250 words maximum

My best friends would describe me as intelligent, hardworking, and invaluable. Because of my success in my academics and ability to understand difficult intellectual topics, my friends would describe me as intelligent. Concepts that others may not understand easily, especially in math and science, come easily to me. Though I understand most intellectual concepts, sometimes I struggle with something, but my hardworking nature inspires me to do everything possible to understand. For example, as a sophomore, when I was struggling with Pre-Calculus, I went to my teacher for help most mornings and afternoons to get help so that I would fully understand the concepts, which then translated to higher scores on my tests. This hardworking descriptor also presents itself in my self-disciplined nature. Though it is very tempting to watch TV or read instead of finishing my homework, I ignore those temptations and continue to work hard until I have finished what needs to be done. I also am very invaluable due to my commitment of time to helping others, especially in their academics. I dedicate much of my time to helping others understand math and science through Mu Alpha Theta (math honor society) and Science National Honor Society, but also help others in a variety of other subjects outside of these activities. I am happy to assist in whatever they need help with, from physics to English. These three words encompass my core values and are evident in the way that I live my life.

Undergraduate / Why Tufts? Essay-- The attitude; I take work seriously, always doing my best in everything [2]

Tufts supplemental essay! Any help is appreciated!

Which aspects of Tufts' curriculum or undergraduate experience prompt your application? Why Tufts?" (Required length is 50-100 words)

To conclude the campus tour, our guide explained why she chose Tufts, "People here take their work seriously, but don't take themselves seriously." Tufts' outstanding academics and biopsychology program are factors, but ultimately the Tufts attitude motivated me to apply. I take work seriously, always doing my best in everything, but I certainly do not take myself seriously. I would love to have snowball fights on the President's Lawn, sled down the Hill, and would be proud to be a Jumbo for all that stands for: extraordinary intelligence and work ethic, love for Tufts, and an ability to enjoy life.

Undergraduate / Tufts Supplemental Essay about how I was raised and how it influenced my life today [3]

There is a Quaker saying: "Let your life speak." Describe the environment in which you were raised-your family, home, neighborhood or community-and how it influenced the person you are today. (Required length is 200-250 words)

My brother and I have always been extraordinarily competitive about everything. This contest, beginning in my elementary years and lasting until high school, drove me to do the best I could in everything, so I could be better than him. In high school, when we both tried out for the science bowl team, we would try to outperform the other. We would compare our grades in the courses we both took to see who did better. I found myself driven solely by competition, and the only reason I was doing my best was to be better than my brother. After years of this contest being my motivator I felt empty and unfulfilled. I knew that the rivalry with my brother would be a never-ending competition. After realizing that, I stopped making everything into a competition. Instead of using external sources to motivate me, I found an intrinsic inspiration to fuel my fire. While I still have that competitiveness, I do not try my hardest in all that I do in order to please others or to be better than others, but because I feel this fundamental commitment and responsibility to do my best in all that I do. My motivation starts with me and radiates outward. As a result of my competitiveness with my brother in my youth, I have found that the intrinsic motivation to do my best, so I may help others, is much more fulfilling and has been one of my core principles ever since.