Writing Feedback / (IELTS) People in the past used to be more dependent on one another [7]

People in the past used to be more dependent on one another, whereas nowadays the lead a more independent life. Do you agree or disagree?

In this dynamic world, people have built up a strong problem solving skill through adapting the changing environment and they rarely seek for others' assistance. Thus, some believe that people are becoming more independent than they used to be. Personally, I do not agree with the claim that people are losing their interdependent behaviours.

The favourable view toward people's independence suggests that mankind nowadays are encouraged to be independent since they were teenage. As parents has lesser time spent with their children mainly due to job issues, children have learnt how to take care of themselves. Therefore, they have already developed an independent character through their growing up lives. Besides that, the prevalence of the Internet has substituted the way people searching for help. They rather post questions on some forums than talking with their families or seeking advice from their friends.

On the other hand, there are increased occasions that people have to rely on one another. For career perspective, some jobs like engineering are specialised and sophisticated which require people working as a team and co-operating with each other. Moreover, there are circumstance where the Internet cannot offer any help. For instance, when facing some problems such as financial difficulties, it is undeniable that people are dependent on others' assistance, either from families or friends.

To conclude, the dynamic world has forced people to cooperate with each other. Although the Internet has change the way people seeking assistances, they are still dependent on others when it comes to serious difficulties.

Writing Feedback / The pie chart shows the main reasons why agricultural land becomes less productive [2]

The pie chart presents the factors contribute to deterioration in agricultural land. The table demonstrates how the three major causes, namely deforestation, over-cultivation and over-grazing, affected three areas including North America, Europe and Oceania in 1990s. At first glance, Europe was suffered the most (23% of degraded land), compared to North America(5%) and Oceania(13%).

From the pie chart, it can be seen that over-grazing(35%) is the major contributor to land degradation. Deforestation and over-cultivation have similar percentages, with 30% and 28% respectively. The rest of the pie belongs to other reasons.

Moving to the table, most of affected land in Europe was due to deforestation(9.8%) and cultivation(7.7%). By comparison, These two factors are only attributed to small proportions in Oceania, which had only 1.7% in total. While over- cultivating was responsible for 3.3% out of the 5% of deteriorated land in North America. Over-grazing accounted for the largest percentage in Oceania(11.3%) and that is twice larger than the percentage in Europe.

In conclusion, Europe is the region that are facing serious land degradation and most of the causes are deforestation and over-cultivating.

• 
  Untitled.jpg
  

Writing Feedback / (Ielts) Most countries develop their economies to improve living standards [3]

Most countries develop their economies to improve living standards. Some people are afraid that it will cause degradation of important social values. Do you think the advantages of this trend outweigh the disadvantages?

Economic development is always one of the most pivotal aspects that most countries strive to improve for the sake of their people. Yet, some hold a contentious view that it will result in deterioration of social values. Just like everything, developing a better economy has both pros and cons and I personally believe the merits outweigh the drawbacks.

On the plus side, a prosperous society can attract oversea investors and bring offshore funding into local economy. These entrepreneurs may invest money in building factories which in turn creates job vacancies and thus reduces unemployment. Moreover, those people often introduce new technology to the country that may improve the productivity of local businesses. Furthermore, allowing them to compete with local companies has an economic benefit since competition can lead to cheaper goods with high qualities. Therefore, people can be benefited from the lower living costs.

However, people has been becoming ruthless along with the continuing economic expansion. There are more and more opportunists who strive for their own interest regardless of others' well being. For instance, it is very common that some companies do not provide reasonable remunerations for their workers aiming at cost reduction. In addition, people are occupied by their ambitious career developments resulting less time spent with their families. Work-related competition also forces those people to be isolated from their colleagues. It is those factors that have driven people to be selfish.

To conclude, although the drawbacks cannot be avoided, a well-developed economy brings positive outcomes that significantly benefit the people in that economy and improve the overall living qualities. Thus, it is essential for countries to develop better societies economically.

Writing Feedback / Education plays a pivotal role; Children learn how to be good members of society [4]

Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the place to learn this.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Education plays a pivotal role for children in becoming a good member of a society. However, there is a contentious issue as to whether parents or teachers hold the responsibility to teach children how to be part of a society. Personally, I believe both are responsible for social education.

To begin with, some believe that children at their school age spend eight hours a day in the school. School is just like a small society where people have to interact with each other. Most of the time, they are influenced by their peers and their teachers. Occasionally, conflicts may arise between students such as dispute or fight. It is teachers' duty to teach their students how to deal with some social situation appropriately such as how to cooperate with other students and avoid conflicts.

On the other hand, those who subscribe to the opposite belief argue that children spent considerable amount of time with their parents since they were born. Their behavior are affected by their parents both positively and negatively. For example, if the father or mother does not respect others, it is more likely their kid will do the same thing as no one teach them right and wrong. Therefore, parents should act as a model for their children.

To conclude, both parents and teachers are essential to help children participate in a society and be a good member of it. It is hard to single out either one as they both can significantly influence children's behavior.

Writing Feedback / These days couples decide to have children later in their life! [2]

These days couples decide to have children later in their life. Do you agree or disagree with this statement? How is it affecting the family life and society?

In recent decades, there is a phenomenon that couples tend to have their first child five to ten years after their marriage. I personally believe that people nowadays would rather have child as late as possible due to career or other personal considerations as will now be discussed.

Firstly, the cost of raising a child is significantly high and some young couples are not ready to bear the burden yet. Statistics have shown that the expenditure of raising a child to his or her 18s would require more than two hundred thousand US dollars. Therefore, it is the reason why people would like to have children later in their life when they are financially stable.

Secondly, there is a tradeoff between having a baby and career development which is especially faced by many women. Traditionally, the mother role of the child has to devote most of her time to taking care of her daughter or son. This is definitely an obstacle to her career development. When people decide to postpone their plan of pregnancy to 5-10 years, they can take the advantage of this time to get promotion in their careers.

Moreover, some believe that child education is not an easy task. It involves how to maintain a relationship with their child and how to deal with them when conflicts arise. As poor parenting skill may result in deterioration in children's mental development, these people would rather take some time to accumulate more knowledge and parenting skills.

However, people at their late 30s may have various health problems such as infertility that prevent them from being pregnant. Medical studies have indicated that the chance of getting pregnant in their late 30s decreased dramatically compared with their 20s. Although people have different reasons to postpone their plan of having child, they should bear the risks of pregnancy in their late life.

Writing Feedback / Nowadays for many people the Internet is replacing regular books. [6]

Can anyone give me some comments about this essay?

Nowadays for many people the Internet is replacing regular books. What do you think will happen in the future and what is your opinion about this trend?

With the rapid pace in technological development, the internet has been widely used in various aspects of our lives. For instance, it is very prevalent today for people to read books in the internet compared with decades ago. It is believed that the network development will continually impact people's reading habit, as will be now discussed.

Firstly, it is not doubt that people can assess the books they like online in a convenient manner. The internet has been gradually replacing the physical existence of books. As a result, books publishers has developed electronic books for their customers to satisfy people's changing reading styles.

In addition, libraries are losing their meaning since people rather read books online. Therefore, it is believed that traditional libraries will ultimately be forced to transform to online facilities. People can then assess the online reading materials using their memberships.

Undoubtedly, the convenience of online reading does benefit us in certain ways. Due to the pace advancement in electronic devices, people can read everywhere, just like they are holding a real book. However, I personally prefer reading a real book over a virtual book. The reason is that I can keep my favorite books as collections on my bookshelf which cannot be done by electronic books. For health consideration, concentrating on a monitor for too long will result in detrimental effect on eyes, such as eyesight problem.

All in all, it is for sure that the internet will substitute books in the future. this trend is beneficial to human being as the convenience of online reading is undeniable.