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Posts by ekalamarsyari11
Name: eka lamar syari
Joined: Aug 10, 2016
Last Post: Nov 10, 2016
Threads: 72
Posts: 101  
From: Indonesia
School: sriwijaya university

Displayed posts: 173 / page 5 of 5
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ekalamarsyari11   
Aug 12, 2016
Writing Feedback / Summary: Plant Life in the Taklimakan Desert [4]

hallo ibal
i'd like to suggest you additional corrections

... Tamarix ramosissima and Alhagi sparsifolia with the different ways differently to survive . i think you don't need to write "to survive" because you have written "grow weel".
ekalamarsyari11   
Aug 12, 2016
Writing Feedback / What the West's Ancient Droughts Say About Its Future [4]

hallo iforsa.

Most of modern Californians facing a frightening question toward ...

the question is whether the drought caused by an aberration

or it could be a signal of mega drought that occurred several decades ago . sorry i can't understand what ...

Scientists have a tendency to keep of the related question.

Other predominant study studies lead by Edward Schulman using tree rings in the 1940s found a sustained period of low flow ...

i suggest you to pay attention to the article such a, an or the and also to the countable and uncountable noun.
ekalamarsyari11   
Aug 11, 2016
Writing Feedback / Just a few hours' exercise a week makes your heart grow bigger [4]

Keeping fit is one way to get healthy life. Nowadays, modern lifestyle has brought negative impact to human heart. For example, there are many people who dies from hearth attact. It should be caused by consuming too much junk food and doing less exercise.

However, in fact people only need three hours per week to have better heart condition. Declan O'Regan at Imperial College London and his team discovered that doing three or more hours of exercise a week can have larger hearts too - and may be misdiagnosed as having a heart condition. This research was done by scanning 1096 people who had healthy hearts. They found that, on average, the more exercise they did, the larger their hearts were.

People who did as little as three hours of exercise a week have 2.4 times larger left ventricle and 4.4 times larger for those who exercised for between 3 and 5 hours a week.The right ventricle was 1.7 times more likely to be enlarged in people who did 3 to 5 hours' exercise a week, and 9.1 times more likely to be bigger in people doing more than that.

O'Regan said that change of heart shape and size could lead to a misdiagnosis for heart conditions.

newscientist.com/article/2100358-just-a-few-hours-exercise-a-week-makes-your-heart-grow-bigger/
ekalamarsyari11   
Aug 11, 2016
Writing Feedback / HOW I TEACH KIDS TO LOVE SCIENCE [3]

Cesar Harada is a teacher in Harbour School, Hongkong. He has succeded to improve the way of teaching science to the kids.

Here they are his way:

First of all, he let his student imaginations wrong and wild becouse children has unlimitted ideas.
Whereas, his job are to collect, combine and make those imaginations to be workable.
Then he let students to participate in a experiment .
All the invention are based on local problems. Children think of those problem, imagine, and make the solutions.
He set an industrial mega-space to be his classroom because he want to provide a larger place for the students to make their dreams come true. In there, not only students but also adults can play and study together.

His goals are to prepare young generations who cares about enviromental problems and to preserve their imaginations that needed to invent the solutions.

Link: youtube.com/watch?v=jAemh_JxgOk
ekalamarsyari11   
Aug 11, 2016
Writing Feedback / It is actually agreed today that sports and social activities play a main role in students' life. [5]

... school must give same financial support for other activity actiities.

after sport like playing football or every game like that, students feel that they have full of energy.
in my opinion, it should be better to write:
by doing many kinds of sport student feel refresh and reenergizing.

therefortherefore I was one of the best students in my school

second, social activity give gives the students the a chance to improve their communication abitity . they learn to contact to each others and share their information to others.

student canmay find a good job

they learn to havebeactivityactive in groups.
ekalamarsyari11   
Aug 11, 2016
Writing Feedback / Summery article of "Superfood doesn't mean anything, so let's stop using it" [4]

People, nowadays are easily to believe the promise offers by the superfoods super food related to get health and longevity.

i would rather write it this way:
people, nowadays are easily to believe superfood promising nutritional food to promote better health and longevity

The superfoods super food may take attentions of public an otherwise ...
ekalamarsyari11   
Aug 11, 2016
Writing Feedback / Summary article: Anxiety on China [3]

The official forecast is predicting of a very small number growth that is incontrovertible inflated for Political reasons.

Anticorruption lead to provokingan open against among the country's elite.
sorry, but i cannot understand what you want to say in this sentences.

... been left from such a prison and some China's most powefull have been arested ...

However, Chian China persists about anxietieswithout es becouse it was an uncountable noun for plenty of time.

The great number of Xi's rebuild some rebuilt plans which ...
ekalamarsyari11   
Aug 11, 2016
Writing Feedback / Pandas Get to Know Their Wild Side - article from National Geographic [9]

The China still have to make sure about this species survival in the conservation nature,

... herbivores, but the reason and the exact timing isare still unclear.

It was called an adaptation or animals changing behavior to suit to the environment.

In pandas, the adaptation happened in their teeth that have transformed from canine teeth ...
ekalamarsyari11   
Aug 11, 2016
Writing Feedback / Orangutan learns to mimic human conversation for the first time [5]

Summary from article

Adriano Lameria, from the University of Durham, UK and his team found that orangutans are able to emulate sound from human conversation. An ape ,'Rocky' who was studied at Indianapolis Zoo in US, between April and May 2012, have produced sounds similar to words in a "conversational context".

This experiment observed for more than 120 orangutans from 15 wild and captive pupulations. The procedure of that experiment are by conducted a game where the ape attempted to copy sounds made by human in variation of tone and pitch. That was recorded for more than 12,000 hours. Then, the reaserchers compared the collected sounds. This research proved that orangutans have the potential capacity to control the action of their voices.

Journal reference: Scientific Reports, DOI: 10.1038/srep30315

Link: newscientist.com/article/2099090-orangutan-learns-to-mimic-human-conversation-for-the-first-time/
ekalamarsyari11   
Aug 11, 2016
Writing Feedback / TEDx Talks : The Skill of Self Confidence [2]

Without such skill, person will lose believe in her/his self before he/she accomplish her/his tasks.
fail to accomplish his tasks.

Self confidence itself means the ability or the believe beliefe to believe in yourself to accomplish any task no matter difficulty and diversity diverse tasks.

The easiest way to build such skill is repetition what we want to be mastered more and more practice .

Because suchrepetition of his practice,

your summary is good, but i want to suggest you to make your sentences more simple so that reader will be easier to understand your esssay.
ekalamarsyari11   
Aug 11, 2016
Undergraduate / there! So, I am planning to apply to SCAD for the undergraduate fashion design program. [2]

It is this axiom that I, Gehna Patel, try my level best level to uphold and incorporate what???verb transitive needs an object in my daily life. The need to stand out and express myself truly manifested itself about five years ago when I finally plucked up the courage to admit to myself that I wanted to spend the rest of my life in the most aesthetic industry to ever be created- the industry of fashionthis sentence is too long, so try to build a shorter sentence .

This taught me a valuable lesson- that of there beingsuch as discipline, expression and satisfaction...
It was when I had this epiphany that I decided to study fashion professionally.

... strengthens me to make my future career and its development of my primary focus.

I also have experience working backstage backstage working experience at ...
Furthermore, I am confident in my ability to think on my feet in a situation of crisis .
ekalamarsyari11   
Aug 10, 2016
Writing Feedback / HOW TO FIX A BROKEN EDUCATION SYSTEM WITHOUT ANY MORE MONEY [3]

Summary from TED talks

As we know that education is one of the most important aspects to build a prosperous country. Education creats good human resources for the country. Meanwhile, in a developing country like Indonesia there are a lot of educational problems such as a lack of money to support the improvement of teaching quality and quantity. The same problematic cases are also experienced by India.

In India, 11 year- olds cannot do basic ability like construct a simple sentence and most kids are 13-14 year-olds are dropped out from school. It is happen while India's public schools set not only free education but also free books, even free meal as well. More over, parents are prefer to put their children in private schools.

Seema Bansal, an education innovator from India, explained her experience to reform 15.000 schools in Haryana, India. First of all, to addresses the problems she had to make a focused goal. Therefore the goal will be used to measure the result. Second, she had to be aware about the issues : there are no teachers teach inside the classrooms and there is no additional money to make them more trained. Hence, she discussed the problem with her team everywhere and every time. Eventually she found that new simple concept or daily examples make teachers and students more interested. Consequently, she and her team made a concept for each topic in the text books to help teachers teach inside or outside their classroom easier.

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