Writing Feedback / GRE (argument): Comparison of two cars [10]

"Of the two leading car brands in the market today -- Sloda and Cosmic, Sloda is far superior. Sloda has a fuel economy of 22 m/gallon compared to Cosmic, which has 18 m/gallon under test conditions. The spare parts for Sloda are easily available in the metros and the after sales service offered by the company although expensive, is excellent. Sloda also costs $800 cheaper than Cosmic and is by far the most economical car in the market. It has a great resale value; I was able to sell my Sloda at a higher price than my neighbor's Cosmic V2."

Discuss how well reasoned you find this argument. (Time limit: 30 mins)

Many factors are taken into account before buying a car. Depending on the customer, these factors may range from cost and luxury to the resale value. These give rise to comparisons between the available models. But the comparison and the resulting assessment made by the author, that the model Sloda is a superior car than Cosmic in not justified. There are many flaws in the argument which must be resolved.

One of the premises that the author has considered is the mileage of the cars. Cars perform differently from test conditions when they run on different types of terrain. For example, a sedan is more economical in a city than on dirt roads and mountainous regions. In the latter conditions, an SUV is a better option. Therefore, the conclusion that Sloda has a better fuel economy is flawed as the author does not provide any information on the types of the cars and their intended terrain of usage.

Secondly, the author's attempt to highlight the availability of spare parts in metros is not very convincing. That is because it does not include small cities, villages and other remote areas. This cancels out the advantages of a reliable after-sales service in those areas.

Another flaw in the line of reasoning is in the statement of the resale value. The resale value of a car depends upon the usage and present condition of the car. So a new car usually has a higher resale value than an older one. Hence, the higher resale value of the author's Sloda than her neighbour's Cosmic V2 cannot be considered as a significant factor because the condition of the cars at the time of resale is unknown. In other words, there is no basis for such a comparison.

In conclusion, the author's argument seems a bit prejudiced to be taken seriously. Such an argument is only justifiable if the above mentioned loopholes are closed, and additional factors like luxury, customer satisfaction, etc are considered.

Writing Feedback / GRE (argument): Recommendation to change the marketing style of a company [11]

The following recommendation was made by the Marketing manager to the Marketing Advisory Committee of Shell Adhesives.
"Because of declining profits, we must revert back to net marketing instead of marketing our products through the Sell-Well distributors. Net marketing has proven effective in case of Stick Fast adhesives, which is a serious market leader in the field. They have hired the services of 'Web Sell', which has been net marketing for Flora Garments for the past five years. Stick Fast's sales have increased by almost 40% in the last financial year. It also has won the Best Company award at the recently concluded industries meet Generation Next."

Discuss how well-reasoned you find this argument. (Time limit: 30 mins)

Net marketing is possibly one of the best marketing techniques used in the present world. As it can reach the furthest and remotest corners of the earth, its lure is obvious. But the recommendation made by the Marketing Manager of Shell Adhesives to revert back to net marketing is preposterous, and does not take into account all the variables involved.

For instance, the assumption that profits are affected only by the type of marketing used is flawed. Profits are governed by lots of factors, such as, demand, working capital, volume of production, etc. Therefore, change in the type of marketing may not yield the desired results if the other factors are not considered.

Moreover, following the lead of Stick Fast adhesives may not be a good idea considering the fact that they are the market leaders. This means that they already have a large customer base, which in turn creates the awareness for a new product. Also, Stick Fast may be producing adhesives which are different in nature to ones produced by Shell Adhesives, which create a different sort of demand. For example, household adhesives and industrial adhesives have different types of customers.

Finally, the 40% increase in the sales of Stick Fast's adhesives in the past year does not necessarily mean that it was a result of net marketing. It could very well be the reaction to a particularly innovative and attractive product. Thus the claim of a major effect of net marketing can only be substantiated if this trend carries on for a few years.

The argument would have if the above mentioned flaws were taken into account. The Marketing Manager needs to carry out a proper market survey before such a recommendation can be made.

Scholarship / Rhodes Scholarship Essay - why you wish to attend [2]

Rhodes Scholarship Essay

"A signed essay (preferably typed) by the candidate detailing the proposed course of study at Oxford, general interests and activities, including sports and the future aims of the candidate".

The Essay should clearly bring out your strengths, but also must include "why you wish to study at oxford, the course / degree of your choice". How is it relevant for your short term/ long-term goals? And the kind of work you would like to do later on in life. Word limit -- 1000 words

Guys, I need some help writing this. How should I approach it? How similar and different should it be from my SOP?