Writing Feedback / Should share information as much as possible? IELS 12 Test 5 Task 2 [3]

"Sharing is caring"

"Sharing is caring" This is the quote that we always hear in our daily life. Many people think that we should share as much as information as possible especially in scientific research, business and education. However, there are also many people who has different opinion about some information. I personally believe that sharing information as much as possible with other people can improve our life.

Of course it is always god to share information with others as we can get new information from the others, especially during a discussion. Through sharing information, we are actually unintentionally widen our knowledge because the incoming information are sometimes new to us. Other than that, when we share information, we are not only helping other people, but also improve ourselves at the same time. The reason is that we will organise the information the fact in our brain in order to make others understand it easily. We must also get confirmation about the truthfulness of the infomation before presenting to someone else for example in scientific research.

Although sharing is a very good behaviour but not all knowledge are shareable.It is because the infromation is too important to them. Sometimes the information is the result of their hard work. For example high confidential business project. Company invested huge amount of money, spent very time and also put a lot of effort on it. Each company has their own information. So it will be considered as treat to a company if the information are being shared to public and may being used by others.

In conclusion, eventhough some information involve the benefits of companies, but in contrast companies can cooperate and makes the project better. It is same to scientific research and also education. So we should share information with other people to make our life better.

Writing Feedback / IELTS Writing Task 2 Discuss both point of view: should children learn mathematic in school [3]

Topic:

Some parent believe that learning mathematics at school is redundant and should not be taught while others believe that it should remain a foundational subject whether or not it is used later in life. Discuss both sides.

is mathematic still necessary in school syllabus?

Nowadays whether or not learning mathematics in school become a hot debate topic among parents. Some parents think that the subject "Mathematics" is irrelevant to be learned in school. However, other parents opine that it should be a mandatory subject. Both sides of arguments will be further discussed in this essay.

One point of view is that parents believe that mathematics is no longer important and it should be removed as a school subject. They think that it is no longer needed because computer take over tasks which required mathematics skill and it can run the operation very fast in its system. For example,there are computer program like Microsoft Excel can solve complex mathematics equation in few seconds. This is the reason why parents believe that their children should not learn mathematics in school.

In opposite point of view, there are also some parents think that their children should learn mathematics as a learning basic in school althought it might not be used in future. The reason is that, mathematics can help children to think faster because their brain will be always active and also more alert to surrounding. For example, children can realise directly if the change gotten is in wrong amount when they buy something in a shop. They can perform the mathematical calculation directly in their brain without relying on gadgets.

In conclusion, it is still a question mark if mathematics still necessary in school syllabus? Some parents are agree but some parents are not. This essay discussed both point of view, whether mathematics should remain as a school subject.

for this essay which band can i get in ielts ?

Writing Feedback / Some parent allow their children to get busy with paid work [3]

Children are engaged with the paid work

Question: In some countries children are engaged in some kind of paid work. some people regard this as completely wrong, while other consider it as a valuable work experince, important for learning and taking responsibility.

In certain countries, some parent allow their children to get busy with paid work. Some parents opine that by working, their children can gain precious experience in work and at the same time, they started to learn how to be more responsible. Some parents, however, do not agree with this argument.

On one hand, parents believes that works with monetary return are important to a child's growth. When children started to get some works, they will be take the task given seriously, as they get paid after completion of the task. They will work hard and always do their best in work also because of their responsibilty. For example, as a pizza deliver, they will try to deliver pizza within a limited time to make sure their customer is satisfied with their service.

Eventhough children can start learning about taking responsibility by working, some parent stil do not agree with this argument. The main reason is that, working might cause stresssfulness to children when they could not manage everything as well as their expectation or when the workload is too heavy. Some people can not manage stress very well bacause they are too young. This condition might lead to depression if it continues for a period of time.

In my opinion, children should gain some experience in working to improve themselves before starting their career in future. In conclusion, it is no wrong if parents let their children working with wage but they have to always keep both eyes on their children's condition.

Ps: please give me some feedback to improve my essay and also give valuation according to ielts marking criteria. thx in advanced.

Writing Feedback / Many employers are now offering their employees the option to work from home. [3]

Question: Many employers are now offering their employees the option to work from home. As a result, employee will have much flexible working hours in the future. Is this a positive or negative develpoment?

work from home - the great innovation

Nowadays employees are provided option to work at home instead of in office. It is believed that employees' working hours will be more flexible in the future. The advantage of working at home that will be discussed in this essay is that, it makes employees more convenient to work at home. The disadvantage, however, is that employees are not able to join face-to-face discussion.

Work at home can bring a lot of convenience to employess because they can accompany their family member while working, especially for those who have to take care of their small children. It can also improve relationship between family members. For instance, parent can prepare breakfast for their children before sending them to school and spend time with them after school.

Hoewever, there is also disadvantage when employees working at home. Sometimes there will be soome urgent meetings that all employees must present and discuss about it. Although the employees who works at home can join the discussion through phone or Skype, it is still problematic in communication when network connection is poor. This may result in missunderstanding and some urgent problem could not be solved immediately. For example, other employees might not hear clearly what the other talking about when there is transmission delay.

Notwithstanding the possible occurence of misunderstanding, in my opinion, it is still good to allow employee to work at home because the relationship between family member are more valuable in compare to the missunderstandiing that might occur during a discussion.

In conclusion, it is clear that an option to work from home can benefits employees, including flexible working hours and also strong bond between family member. For those who have bad network connection at ome should find solution to solve their problem in order to work at home.