Writing Feedback / There is no doubt that children can learn about cooperation via team sports [6]

cooperation through team sports

the best way to teach children to co-operate is though team sports at school, to what extent do you agree or disagree?

My essay:

It is said that the most effective means of educating young generation about cooperation is by team sports. Although it is true that children can be benefited from it, there are other methods to teach them with collaboration.

By playing sports in a group. children are able to learn how to find their role in a group in order to achieve success. As sport games are usually played by considerable number of people, it is unlikely for one person to compete with other teams and win the game. Children who are in the team have to work with teammates together, discovering everyone's advantages and helping with each other to win. The awareness of cooperation that children gain from team sports can be applied on other sides of their life.

Nevertheless, there are also other approaches to help the youth to learn co-operate.First, they can learn collaboration by doing team projects in school system. This kind of projects always assign people with different tasks. For example, some projects may require students to make a short video, so team members will need to decide who is going to write the script or who is going to edit the film. If people in the group cannot finish their own duties on time, a delay will be cause which will have an adverse impacts on the whole process. Second, team study can be an alternative for children to learn cooperation. Due to the limitation of their minds, it is difficult for children to finish school assignments on their own. Studying in a group enables children to gain new ideas of the homework from their classmates, which will contribute to achieve higher score.

In conclusion, there is no doubt that children can learn about cooperation via team sports. However, I would argue that may other ways can be accepted to teach them with cooperating as well.

Writing Feedback / People are more likely to go fast food restaurants instead of the ones offering tradition food. [4]

In many countries, traditional food is being replaced by international fast food. This has negative effects on both families and societies. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

traditional food is replaced by fast food

People these days are more likely to go fast food restaurants instead of the ones offering tradition food. This trend has been said having adverse impacts on families and societies. I mostly agree with this idea but fast food can benefit people to some extent.

On the one hand, fast food can bring diseases to people due to the unhealthy way they are made from. This kind of food usually contains excessive oil and fat, an example of this is chicken fries, which will cause the obesity issue on people; thereby resulting in other serious health problems. In addition, people can hardly gain enough types of nutrition that their body needs from fast food.

Another issue caused by this trend is an extinction of a unique feature. Local food is made by special materials which are various from different areas. For instance, people from eastern Asia prefer to use alcohol to reduce the fishy smell carried with seafood. In contrast, international fast food is usually made from similar materials to maintain the same taste. As a result, a special representative of local culture will disappear if nobody is willing to impart the approach of traditional food.

On the other hand, fast food can benefit the majorities because it saves people's time. Due to the heavy workload, people cannot spend too much time on their meals. However, fast food provides them with a solution of having tasty and quick food, so people can focus on work and maintain their productivity.

In conclusion, although fast food can bring negative influences, it can still be beneficial to people to a slight extent.

Writing Feedback / The healthy lifestyle has a direct bearing on our dignity and well-being. [2]

healthy lifestyle - IELTS writing task 2

some people say that the government should ensure that people lead a healthy life, while others believe individuals should have their own choices. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

The healthy lifestyle is important because it has a direct bearing on our dignity and well-being. Some people believe governments' regulations are needed to lead a healthy life, while others think it is a personal choice. From a personal view, I do not believe people will actively engage in it unless governments take some actions.

On the one hand, the authorities' requirements can increase the number of people who have a healthy lifestyle. In this case, governments are likely to conduct a series of restrictions on goods which have adverse impacts on people's health, such as imposing high taxes on alcohol and cigarettes. Some punishments may also be taken to prevent people from not doing exercise. As a result, an increasing number of people will join activities which can improve their health.

On the other hand, people should have rights to choose what kind of life they want to have because they can be happy in this way. People who have always been enjoying healthy fruits and vegetables will keep doing so. However, if governments put compulsory regulations on these people's life, they will suffer from massive pressure and may no longer enjoy the lifestyle that they used to have.

In my opinion, it is more important for governments to guide people about how to lead a healthy life. Many people may not aware of the dangers of bad living habits they are having at the moment. For example, office workers will do more outdoor activities if governments advertise a concept that sitting for a long time will reduce people's lifespan.

In conclusion, people can benefit the most from governments' advice on how to have a healthy life.
(278 words) Thank you for your advice in advance :0

Writing Feedback / Ielts writing task 2: buying products from other countries. [4]

buying imported products

in some countries, it is now possible for people to buy products made in other countries. to what extent do the benefits of this development outweigh the problem?

People these days are able to buy goods made by other countries. From a personal view, I believe this is a positive trend in a large extent, although it may cause adverse impacts as well.

Having access to other countries' products enables people to lead a happy life because it can improve their living standers. Due to the geometric limitations, some products are not able to grow in other countries, such as cherries, which are native to North America but can hardly grow in Thailand. If people can taste things from another side of the world, they are likely to enjoy more in their life. In addition, some products are also cheaper to buy from other nations than from the local. It will decline people's living cost and save money to tackle other urgent problems.

Another benefit of this progress is that it can contribute to culture communication between countries. Products from other areas, especially those containing certain local features, can usually convey traditional culture. For example, if people from Europe purchase china, they are likely willing to know more about Chinese culture. In this way, the misunderstanding between two different culture will reduce.

Despite the advantages mentioned above, purchasing other countries' products will have a negative influence on local companies' development. As people tend to buy things which are not made by the local companies, native companies can hardly make profits from the customers. As a result, these companies may not survive the intense competition brought by foreigner products.

In conclusion, it cannot be prevented from people buying imported products. I believe it is a good trend as it contributes to people's life quality as well as culture communication.

(280 words) Thanks for your advice ;)