Writing Feedback / Letter to apply a training leave in order to complete the pursued diploma [3]

Hi all, thank you very much for your time in advance. would like to check if the tone is right, enough variety of vocab and what would you score (if possible).

(IELTS GT WRITING TASK 1) Letter to Manager

You are studying for a qualification, and you would like some time off work to complete it. Write a letter to your manager. In your letter:

- Ask for some time off to complete a qualification.
- Suggest what you will do later at work if you have time off.
- Say how the qualification helps your job or company.

Dear Manager,

I am writing to apply a training leave for 5 days from next Monday to Friday in order to complete the diploma I am pursuing.

As mentioned in the last appraisal meeting, I am pursuing the professional diploma in archival studies which lasts for 6 months. I have finished most of the course modules in weekday evenings while there will be a three-day intensive seminar and essay presentations in the aforesaid period to wrap up the course.

The course is extremely important to my professional and personal development as this could enhance my professional knowledge in archival practices and expand my international network. Not only having learnt the international standards of archival procedures, the professionals I meet in this diploma also shed the lights on how could start off and develop the small-scaled archive in our company. I believe I could contribute to our company with more capacity in the knowledge of archive setting with this diploma completed.

I have copied my subordinate, XX, with most of the currently-handling projects, so that XX could help follow up during my leave. In addition, I could be reached by email during my training leave to offer remote support to XX. I will also return to office half an hour earlier after the week of training week in order to ensure the catch-up of work.

I sincerely hope that you could grant me the training leave and will assist as much as I can to have a smooth handover. Thank you very much for your consideration.

Best regards,
YYY (total 258 words)

Writing Feedback / IELTS GT WRITING TASK 2: there are fewer youngsters receiving news from newspapers and TV. [4]

Hi all! I'm practicing the writing task 2 (General training) on the following topic:

In many countries, very few young people read newspapers or follow the news on TV.

What do you think are the causes of this? What solutions can you suggest?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Grateful for your comments and advise me the approach of writing a short conclusion in this type of topic. Many thanks in advance.

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It is noticeable that there are fewer youngsters receiving news from newspapers and TV. Researchers and stakeholders in broadcasting sector are interested to seek the causes of the trend and explore any solution for this.

In the age of information explosion, there are more sources of getting news online, especially live news could be easily broadcast with various online platforms. Thus, this may cause fewer viewers of newspapers and TV. In addition, the reading habit of young generation has been changed from reading long passages on papers to finding instant visually attractive posts from online platforms. Other than the shift of receiving channels, there is a specific reason for young people in my city not choosing newspapers and TV as reliable sources of news. The printed and broadcasting media in my city presents biased news very often while there are more perspectives of the news could be found online. Therefore, it affects the credibility of those media and fewer people are willing to trust these sources of news.

In order to survive from the competition with internet, the media should have more investments on digital world, not only the e-marketing, but also live broadcasting on the internet, to reach the greater mass of the audience. One of the most successful online media in my region has invested a lot in manpower and hardware for live broadcasting. In this connection, that media is able to cover most of the immediate happenings in different locations in a very prompt way during this socially unrest moment. Furthermore, newspaper and TV channels could focus on the other approach that excels themselves from other online news platforms. If the media is unable to have extra resources on online platforms, it might be a good choice to reallocate the resources to focus on more in-depth analysis on specific topics. Live broadcasting and online visually attractive posts could only provide a glimpse of the events, but not the analysis of deep root cause. For example, 20/20 in the USA showcases how an excellent analysis type of news programme could survive in this furious competition.

(347 words)

Writing Feedback / IELTS GT WRITING TASK 1: You would like to do a PT job while you are studying in another country [3]

Hi all, grateful for your comments if my letter is clear enough and the tone is right for a letter with friend?

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You are going to another country to study. You would like to do a part-time job while you are studying, so you want to ask a friend who lives there for some help.

Write a letter to your friend. In your letter

- give details of your study plans
- explain why you want to get a part-time job
- suggest how your friend could help you find a job
You should write at least 150 words.
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Hi Jack,

Greetings from Germany! How's it going recently? I am checking in with you to see if you might be able to help me to find a part-time job during my upcoming study in the UK.

I am going to pursue my master degree in London for a year, starting from the coming September, like the plan I mentioned in our last conversation. Yet, I am not fortunate enough to be awarded by the university scholarship, so that I have to source my own fund to pay for the tuition and to support my living. Due to the exchange rate fluctuation, I find out that I should have prepared more savings than I expected.

In this way, I am trying to seek your assistance if you could suggest me some ways and introduce me to find a part-time job during my study period. I would like to get a job from clothing sales industry as I have experiences here in Germany and the working schedule is relatively flexible to fit in my class schedule.

Looking forward to your good news soon! Keep in touch!

Best,
Chris
(187 words)

Writing Feedback / IELTS GT 2 worldwide trend of vegetarianism which supposed to be beneficial to our health [6]

Hi all, it's me again. Grateful for any comments and I'm really not familiar with this topic, how could I perform better if I really encounter some topics that I've never thought of?

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Some people choose to eat no meat or fish.

They believe that this is not only better for their own health but also benefits the world as a whole.

Discuss this view and give your own opinion.
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
You should write at least 250 words.

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There is a worldwide trend of being vegetarians as they claimed that this is beneficial to our health, as well as our mother earth. It is worth to understand the points of views from different stakeholders before turning into vegetarians.

Firstly, recent researches show that eating too much meat, especially red meat, would lead to over-nutrition and thus some common modern diseases, such as diabetes and blood vessel blockage. In this connection, more people advocate of being vegetarians for more balanced diets and nutrition. However, I do not recommend relying on vegetables to get all essential nutrition, for instance, some types of amino acids have to be obtained through meat.

Secondly, some point out that growing plants would be more environmental-friendly than animal agriculture because the animals require feeds and produce different types of greenhouse gases. However, I doubt this concept as both industries are not the major sources of greenhouse gases. Industrial activities should be the major cause of it.

Lastly, balance of consuming variety of food should be the key so as for a sustainable development of the world, and for our better health. When people demand for different types of food, there would be less chance to incline in one single type of crop growing or animal feeding. Take our country's policy as example, our government encourages farm rotating to ensure the farming activities would not exploit all the nutrition in the soil at one time. In such way, it could help sustaining the ecology of nature.

(250 words)