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Posts by chinhsy2
Name: Chính
Joined: May 31, 2020
Last Post: Apr 19, 2023
Threads: 4
Posts: 5  
From: Viet Nam
School: Hung Vuong

Displayed posts: 9
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chinhsy2   
May 31, 2020
Writing Feedback / IELTS WRITING TASK 2: RADIO HAS TREMENDOUS EFFECT IN SHAPING PEOPLE'S IDEAS [2]

Each form of mass media has great influence in shaping people's ideas.

To what extent do you agree or disagree?



In every era, mass media plays a critical role in our lives by providing us with the latest information and news. Radio, being classified into one of the media, has existed for several decades, providing people with valuable knowledge. However, there is a considerable group of people who question the accuracy and authenticity of reports from radios while others are still inclined to the efficiency of them.

On the one hand, the advantages of radios for education, entertainment and awareness is evident. It provides many means of communication for people from different cultures, religions, races and regions. As a consequence, the barriers between people of such diversities are narrowed. However, inadvertently, we are prone to grow subservient on these transistor radios that fact-checking appears unnecessary.

On the other hand, this inclination has detrimental outcomes, as we gradually let our judgment be clouded by that of the media's. Mass media in general and radios in particular, tend to report wars with a biased verdict, which is the good and bad side being determined for the people by reporters, editors and commentators. For instance, during World War Two, General Philippe Pétain, who served for the Vichy government, spread false propaganda through radios to citizens of the Occupied Zone, stating that France is coming to victory. While the truth, which was that the Occupied Zone was being devastated by the enemies, was carefully veiled. Therefore, we need to make sure they work for the truth and greater good, not for a particular organization or political agenda.

In conclusion, any form of media is a strong tool to shape public opinion. Thus, it is paramount to maintain the balance between the freedom of media and the broadcasting of equitable news.
chinhsy2   
Jun 2, 2020
Writing Feedback / Every country should have a free health service even if this means that the latest medical treatment [10]

You did not give the full demand of the essay, therefore making it hard to determine whether you're on topic or not. If it was an agree/disagree kind of essay, then yours is not on point since you didn't give your opinion.

Also. on the first line of the second body paragraph, I think you were meant to say "To shed some light..." rather than "To shade some light ....".

Hope this helps.
chinhsy2   
Jun 3, 2020
Writing Feedback / MUSEUMS AND ART GALLERIES ARE NOT NEEDED TODAY [3]

Some people claim that museums and art galleries are not needed today because everyone can see historical objects or art works by computer.

To what extent do you agree or disagree?



In modern times, many people believe museums and exhibitions are no longer necessary since they can appreciate such artefacts online. I would have to say I strongly err on the side of disagreeing with this suggestion.

Museums and galleries are a means to conserve antique and historical items. They are not only a paragon of beauty but also a mark of rich and varied culture since online observers can easily be confused a work of art with its origin. The Lourve, for instance, is the world's largest museum and historical monument, housing over 380000 objects ranging from Mona Lisa to Great Sphinx of Tanis. Moreover, without museums and associated places, tourists would have no culturally and historically important destinations to visit, and, more seriously, local children would not have any chance to witness what they have theoretically learnt at school

To fully appreciate art, one must observe the entirety of the genuine piece, rather than the digitalized version of it. It is not through a screen that the harmony of colours or the shifting of emotions can truly be understood. In addition, museums and the likes provide people with exquisite experience, namely the nostalgia of historical times, that electronic devices cannot suffice. Memorial houses and art museums offer first-hand experience to visitors so that they can sense the atmosphere of historical events and people as well as contemplate artistic masterpieces with their bare eyes.

In conclusion, even though the online-based information is a great way to learn about historical works and objects, museums and exhibitions are still important for real experience and irreplaceable.
chinhsy2   
Nov 1, 2020
Writing Feedback / Essay about the advantages and disadvantages of communication via social media. [5]

The use of social media is replacing face-to-face interaction among many people in society.


Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?


Rising debate over whether social media is starting to become the norm for the large percentage of the population stirs up controversy over many experts. While many people believe this trend is a necessary innovation for the new era, the others judge that this development has eradicated the conventional ways of communicating.

On the one side of the argument, social media has brought many people the advantage of distant communications. The biggest and most apparent merit of social media is the fact that it connects people despite their physical bounds. By means of video calls, phone calls and text messages, people, such as parents and children, are able to keep track of each other even when they are nations apart. Furthermore, in the turmoil of the COVID pandemic that we are living in, these forms of interpersonal communication is absolutely favourable. Social distancing means that people cannot come into close proximity with one another, but with the help of technology, families and friends can now keep in touch and care for each other.

However, we should not be in the misapprehension that social media has little or no consequences. Firstly, the growing use of online conversation is not analogous to the amount of verbal languages being used. Because users have a habit of using abbreviated words on social networks, they are not able to communicate by formal sentences. Secondly, being online at all times while avoiding human interactions indirectly make the person develop the fear of real human interactions. As an example, most of the programmers chose to work from home, by doing that they avoid human interactions and eventually gets more nervous among people.

In conclusion, having made contrasts between the two opinions, I believe that the advantages does not outweight the disadvantages. Thus, we should have a way of incorporating the use of social media and meeting people face to face in order to maximize the effectiveness of the former, while remaining the traditions of the latter.
chinhsy2   
Apr 19, 2023
Writing Feedback / IELTS WRITING TASK 2 ABOUT NEWSPAPERS & TV [3]

I recommend you review your word choices. Several words are used incorrectly due to a lack of understanding of what they actually mean. For instance, the word 'proliferation' already implied that the increase is fast and wide, so 'wide proliferation' sounds illogical.
chinhsy2   
Apr 19, 2023
Writing Feedback / IELTS essay about people's tendency to live alone and in small households. [NEW]

TOPIC:
More people are living alone and in small households. What are the reasons behind this trend? What effects does this trend have on society?

Here is my answer. I hope to get an informative review of my essay.

The preference to live in a big or small family surely has changed over time. The present trend sees people opting to live by themselves or in small families. I will present several possible underlying reasons for this trend as well as the effects that it has on society.

To begin with, the chief reason why people are not leaning towards an extended family is due to evolved societal norms. Firstly, women are more appreciated in the workforce. In the past, women were expected to get married and depend on their husbands for financial support. Nowadays, society has departed from such a misogynistic view and started to see the potential that women can contribute to the labour force. Thus, women who do not want to get married are perfectly capable of that since they can now be financially independent. Secondly, parents no longer expect their children to live in the same house as them, which is a change that the children also welcome. Young people want to live with their significant others with the privacy that they would otherwise lack in an extended family. Besides, living in smaller households teaches its residents to be more responsible towards their property, considering how running a home is no small feat.

This trend, in turn, has also influenced how society works. The economic health of countries is partially compromised by this trend. Since fewer people are sharing a home, demand for housing has increased exponentially. This increase in demand cannot be met with the finite supply of houses, so the value of houses has gone up faster than what people can spend, which worsens inflation through the fluctuation of interest rates. However, there is also a benefit from this trend. More women, whose expertise in most areas exceeds that of men, are joining the workforce. This means that there are more capable and competent employees, which could positively influence the economic health of countries.

In conclusion, more people are leaning towards a life with themselves or with a limited number of people due to the changes in society's mindset. I believe this trend is partially tipping the scale of the economic health of all countries.
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