Undergraduate / Stanford Essay: I'm from an Island! [5]

Hey everyone i"m new to this. HEres my essay any feedback would be greatly appreciated. I'm so nervous about applying. Heres the prompt:

stanford students are widely known to possess a sense of intellectual vitality. tell us about an experience or an idea that you have had that you find intellectually engaging.

It was just another beautiful day on Catalina Island. Not a cloud in sight. There was a gentle breeze that made the palm trees dance. The day was long and it seemed as though the sun would never sleep. Day turned to night and the stars began to appear, one by one. I focused on one. One that seldom blinked. My perception of stars seemed to be fixed on the fact that they are luminous balls of plasma that flicker. That's it.

During the rigors of my daily routine staring at stars had become futile. But not today.I had become so fixated on one star that I felt the world crash down before me. The star was so full of life, it seemed invincible. It had blinded me, and I fell victim to the rest of my senses. Just as I became entranced with the light show before me, it happened. The star died.

Death is often bloody and violent, but this, this was beautiful. A split second before the star went; bestrewn of life. It was the bow at the end of a spectacular show. It was a flash of colors I didn't know existed. Greens and yellows and blues all combined in an array of flashes that were both aesthetically pleasing for my retina, as they were for my soul. The split second had captivated me and elevated me into disillusion. I had seen beauty in destruction. Destruction can bring pain, but this, this was new. Destruction signals the end to life, and breeds creation. Immediately following the stars death, a new star took its place. Nature simply took its course. I believe it is in our universal right to create. Create in all aspects of our lives. Whether it be friends ships or works of art, creation allows expression and the process teaches us more about ourselves than we perhaps care to know.

I have always been feared change. Change is essential, and is part of human nature. It is the reason humanity exists. Our ability to adapt to a different environment, is a right we should hold dear to our hearts. Change is hard. From life to death. From a small community to a big one. It is these challenges where we learn the most. We encounter ourselves, by being both vulnerable and resourceful. The star had no chance. The star's change was abrupt and inevitable. It couldn't shape it's change. We in some aspects of our life will always have the oppurunity to act upon change. Our change can lead us to our greatest ambitions.

Undergraduate / Stanford Essay : Stars live and they die. [6]

Virtually all of Stanford's undergraduates live on campus. What would you want your future roommate to know about you? Tell us something about you that will help your future roommate -- and us -- know you better.

It was just another beautiful day on Catalina Island. Not a cloud in sight. There was a gentle breeze that made the palm trees dance. The day was long and it seemed as though the sun would never sleep. Day turned to night and the stars began to appear, one by one. I focused on one. One that seldom blinked. My perception of stars seemed to be fixed on the fact that they are luminous balls of plasma that flicker. That's it.

During the rigors of my daily routine staring at stars had become futile. But not today. I had become so fixated on one star that I felt the world crash down before me. The star was so full of life, it seemed invincible. It had blinded me, and I fell victim to the rest of my senses. Just as I became entranced with the light show before me, it happened. The star died.

Death is often bloody and violent, but this, this was beautiful. A split second before the star went; bestrewn of life. It was the bow at the end of a spectacular show. It was a flash of colors I didn't know existed. Greens and yellows and blues all combined in an array of flashes that were both aesthetically pleasing for my retina, as they were for my soul. The split second had captivated me and elevated me into disillusion. I had seen beauty in destruction. Destruction can bring pain, but this, this was new. Destruction signals the end to life, and breeds creation. Immediately following the stars death, a new star took its place. Nature simply took its course. I believe it is in our universal right to create. Create in all aspects of our lives. Whether it be friendships or works of art, creation allows expression and the process teaches us more about ourselves than we perhaps care to know.

I have always been feared change. Change is essential, and is part of human nature. It is the reason humanity exists. Our ability to adapt to a different environment, is a right we should hold dear to our hearts. Change is hard. From life to death. From a small community to a big one. It is these challenges where we learn the most. We encounter ourselves, by being both vulnerable and resourceful. The star had no chance. The star's change was abrupt and inevitable. It couldn't shape its change. We in some aspects of our life will always have the opportunity to act upon change. Our change can lead us to our greatest ambitions.

The stars will continue to shine on. They live and they die, so will humanity. We shouldn't fear death and destruction. We should reflect on the good that has influenced our lives. One day our light will die, and hopefully someone, somewhere will remember us for the beauty that lived inside of us.

i know theres grammar errors i need help on content!

Undergraduate / Stanford Essay: About me. Acting. [4]

Another one.
I Really need help with this one.

Virtually all of Stanford's undergraduates live on c
ampus. What would you want your future roommate to know about you? Tell us something about you that will help your future roommate -- and us -- know you better.

In order to be a good actor, you must make pretending be as real possible. It is a gift really to be able to no longer pretend but be so engaged in a role you simply become real. My life is a long play, where I spend a majority of my time playing two roles. A lead and a minor.

During my lead role I bear the responsibility of carrying the show, and making sure the show operates. During this role I am immersed. My main focus is to make myself as appealing as possible. I will say things in order to please the audience, things that can damage the integrity of the show and the integrity of the other actors. But nevertheless this is the play where when my name is unknown the cast list will be glanced over countless times... The play where all eyes are on me, and every applause is distributed to each actor by my portion is bigger. At the end flowers adorn the stage and I collect them and add them to the vases already bestrewn of flowers. Flashes blind me as the curtain opens and I take my bow. The length of the play is short but it is lived.

When my first role has ended and the stage floors have been swept. The real me is nowhere to be found. This process is grueling, but it helps me find myself. I dig through every piece of me in order to find me. I have lost my dictation, my intonation. I have lost my mannerisms, my character, and the fundamentals of my life. I'll find them and ill know who I was. I will remember but will have to leave them off to the side considering I have another show soon.

My second role requires much less. It is a minor role. A role where I spend more time studying lines I already know. I'm complacent and satisfied with myself because this role is easy. I'm jealous, but cannot blame myself. I blame the director. I'm much more vulnerable. I'm reserved and looked down upon. I am envious of all other roles and sometimes wish I had the roles of others. My brief dialogue serves as a device used to break silences. I'm shy but im comfortable. An opportunity for improvisation arrives but I don't take it. I'm forgotten instantly. I pay little attention considering little attention is paid to me. When my role is over I simply take off my costume. It's easy really because not much work is required.

Reflecting on both my roles would be unfair to describe me, because I wouldn't say I'm arrogant nor would I say I'm complacent or shy. Although my life is a play im the actor that's willing to take on any role. I'm willing to put myself into positions where im vulnerable. My life is filled with different opportunities for me to act. In other words acting can be seen as connecting. I act so that I can connect with people I would never imagine of interacting with. Acting for me is an environment where I can take different roles and learn more about myself. I will spend countless hours preparing my roles. I will not rest until my roles are perfected learning more about myself through what im not than what I am. I'm not the lead nor am I the minor. I'm a hungry actor with passion to play any role so that I can learn more about myself than the characters I play.

I encourage you to take part in my play. This play requires no auditions, no talent. Just bring yourself.

Undergraduate / Common App: My Influences. My parent's greatest love was family. [3]

This is my common app essay, well one idea
any help would be greatly appreciated.

"This way!" the coyote muttered, in words that were as cold as night. My parents obeyed. They carried with them nothing but pride and a suitcase filled with dreams. The summer heat burned their legs that were already covered in thorns. They knew it would be at least one more day until they'd be in America, they would do whatever it took. The long, treacherous journey through blazing heat was made solely out of love. My parent's greatest love was family. They made this journey for us, for our dreams, and for our futures.

My mom had to drop out of school in sixth grade, in order to take care of her brothers and sisters. She had always wanted to be a lawyer, but was now cooking dinners instead of winning cases. My mom is the smartest person I know. Her ability to retain knowledge is unlike any other. The way she deals with percentages would impress anybody in the field of math. She gets lost in her books and reads day and night. She has taught me that reading can take you anywhere. She has been to Ancient Egypt and kicked the dirt of the Great Pyramids. She has met Leonardo Da'Vinci and smelled the fresh pastel of the Sistine Chapel. My mom loved school but her door to learning was shut when her mom left her alone, to care for her brothers and sisters. School for me is a privilege, the privilege she didn't have. I learn, and explore for her, so that I can take advantage of the opportunity that was stripped from her.

My father spent three years in college and suddenly was confronted with a choice. He had to choose between finishing his degree in engineering or succumbing to the perils of manhood by taking a high paying job in order to provide for his newborn child. My father's selfless personality put himself in a desert and his family in a warm home. Upon arriving, my father settled in at a job at El Rancho hotel. He was a housekeeper. With three years of college under his belt, a housekeeping job seemed insulting. But my dad sacrificed his pride for us. He never failed to feed our family the love that at times went unnoticed. That is to say we never thanked him for his sacrifices. My dad's heart was not in housekeeping, he belonged in engineering. He worked hard and made his way up the company until a job opened up in the planning department. He got the job and taught me to never give up. His dedication to work makes me realize that with hard work you can surpass even the worst situations. I've learned that greatness cannot be achieved without sacrifice.

My father told me to "study and it will all pay off." This statement seemed wholly contradictory to me considering he had spent three years in college only to be housekeeping for some portion of his life. But nevertheless I listened and obeyed. My parents showed me that any aspect of life is feasible, and they give me the strength I need to conquer whatever task I am confronted with. For many, education is taken for granted, to my parents and myself school doesn't just mean a higher paying job it means a higher state of mind. My parents would have done anything to be in school but were unable to because of several circumstances outside of their control. I have the opportunity to continue my schooling and to open doors for my future children. They came to this country for my future, and I'm willing to do whatever it takes to make the most out of what they gave me.

My parents have given me an opportunity that I hold so dearly to my heart. They have taught me that perseverance is by far the greatest trait one can possess. Ambition is not only about action but also about patience. Although situations may not seem pretty en media res, ambitions are what fuel us and keep us focused and determined. My parents sacrificed everything they had for family, for love. For that very same reason, I'm willing to make any journey, at any cost. I want to repay my parents, and let them know that their hard work did not in fact go unnoticed. I want to realize my dreams and fulfill the ones that were lost.

Undergraduate / Stanford Essay: Describe Yourself Walks! [2]

Catalina Island is small enough to where everything is five minutes away. So, I walk everywhere. On my walks I not only get to see a gorgeous backdrop but I also catch a glimpse of who I am.

I start off at my house, say hello to my neighbor and laugh when he asks me if I need any golf balls (he knows I'm not very good.) I open the door for his wife and I set off. I'm walking to school today and ill get you there in five minutes. As I'm walking on the curb I begin to think. My walks are where most of my thinking occurs. Questions like is there life on other planets? , Are people born good or evil? , Or how can I make a paper airplane with the maximum flight distance are all encountered. I stand at the crosswalk where my patience tests me. Rows upon rows of bicycles mounted by seven year olds zip past me on as they race towards school. I could easily cross and make them wait but I stop exchange smiles and join them in our race to school.

I continue along the sidewalk and hum Can't Buy me Love by The Beatles. I try to do the headshake they're known for but only manage to make a classmate behind me laugh. I look to the left and see the golf course. The sunshine hits the dewdrops on the grass and the first hole glistens like jellyfish in the ocean. I stare at a palm tree and attempt to count how many leaves there are. I squint my eyes and concentrate as if though I'm taking a test and count aloud "six, seven, ouch!" I accidentally bumped into a friend. We laugh and realize that we're going to be late. Punctuality is very important to me. I ask him if he wants to race. He accepts and we zoom off,

We continue until we reach school where we split. I enter my classroom and begin helping my class by tutoring them in Geometry. My mind feels relaxed and I can remember all my formulas with ease. My walk has ended. Five minutes, that's all it took, I think in five minutes you can get to know anybody. You just need to pay attention to detail, like a painting. At first glance you might be able to make a quick judgment that may not be very accurate but after close scrutinization you can know and enjoy everything about anyone.

Undergraduate / 'a class of three thousand' - what makes stanford a good place for you! [2]

Suspended for leaving useless feedback for others.

I come from an island with as many people as Stanford's freshman class. This island has been so nurturing and welcoming, that it would be heartbreaking to lose that feeling. I think Stanford offers not only top-notch education but a sense of community and a sense of belonging.

The transition into college will be huge for me. Not only will I be on my own but I will have to go from a class of sixty to a class of three thousand. On the island were like a big family and constantly lok out for each other. At Stanford I think students around the world will bring that same feeling of unity. Stanford is renowned in the field of computer science. I would love to be a part of a community of computer scientists that share and collaborate each others ideas.

Stanford's diversity is the true epitome of a melting pot. On the island diversity is scarce. I want to meet people from around the world, that I can interact with and work together with to solve any task we are confronted with. I want to meet people that are alike, and I also want to meet people that are completely different. I want to build relationships and networks with people in an environment that treats me as a member of a family.

Need help can you please look at my other ones I need lots o help!!!