Undergraduate / "Red, my favorite color" - Common App Essay Draft- Needs critiquing [7]

Topic of choice- Pick your prompt of the two I created for it, as the essay answers both:
1. Prominent abolitionist and reformer Frederick Douglass wrote "A man's character always takes its hue, more or less, from the form and color of things about him." What color or abstract form do you associate yourself with, and how do you feel you have been shaped by it?

2. What is your favorite color? Why?
Red
Ever since I was a child, the idea of a favorite color has seemed absurd. To rank, judge and classify something as abstract and intangible as a color meant little to me even then. Despite this, I fell into the trap of forced choice: my pick of favorite was blue; a deep, masculine shade that represented little more than a pressured decision in order to fit the bill. It was only later on that favorite colors began to take on some meaning. So, while a favorite color may be a predisposition to aesthetics; one may prefer the cheery brightness of yellow to the solemn tranquility of purple, and another may prefer that same solemn tranquility to the scathing scorch of orange, "favorite" colors can be derived from the specific qualities of a person, whether they are based on physicality (deep blue eyes or dark brown skin) or personality (a lighthearted, cheery "yellow" disposition). For some, these colors shape and mold experiences, exerting enough influence to seep into and tinge the canvas of life with their hue. The Roman Emperor Marcus Aurelius said "The soul becomes dyed with the color of its thoughts."

My color is red. Externally, the first thing anyone notices about is the shiny red (or orange, it's debatable and pointless) hair that bounces atop my head. My red hair has put me through many hardships and brought me many smiles I have been ostracized, criticized, told that I have no soul, and that soon "my species" would be going extinct. My various nicknames encompass Shaun White, Napoleon Dynamite, Ron Weasley, and Carrot Top. But there is an upside to this: the fleeting stranger takes notice. "Oh, I wish I had your hair!" many say. The compliments and comments I receive usually take on this tone of friendly envy, though they oft shower me with praise, and can be reminiscent and nostalgic, "when I was your age, my hair looked just like that!"

I named myself with my redness. Before I was born, my parents were set on the name David, but when I emerged from the womb, soft orange follicles sprouting from my head, they immediately discarded their plan and changed it. "He's Rory," my mum (another redhead) said, stroking my hair gently. In fact, Rory is an anglicized version of Ruaridh, a Gaelic name that translates into "the red haired one" or "the red haired king." My mum's maiden name, McElroy, also translates into "the son of the red haired one," indicating that this has been an identity in my family for generations.

I carry with me the connotation of my color. Red is symbolic of passion, fiery enthusiasm, and sharp, biting wit. I am well-read, well red, and well-spoken. The world around me is fascinating, and I am thrilled to explore it; through staying active with my own pursuits of pleasure as well as academic discipline. I attend plays and concerts regularly, and am as ready and eager to immerse myself into a Great American Novel as much as into the mishmash of a mosh pit.

Being redheaded is my dissimilarity that has allowed me to continue down the path of the idiosyncratic and unconventional. It is the color of danger and warning, and of the barriers that must be ignored in order to take risks, and exceed intellectual and social norms. Moreover, I am red because I choose to be. It is not a predetermined set of recessive genes that create my personality, nor is it that my hair follicles actually seep into my brain and tint the hue of my thoughts. My bright red hair, my flushed face, and my undesirable tendency to turn bright pink under the red hot sun only serve as metaphors for the internal. It is the emotional intensity and vitality of life I possess, and my desire to succeed in my studies and my life.

So now, if anyone dares to ask me my favorite color, I will lock eyes with them, and respond challengingly, "Red. But it is much, much more than that."

Undergraduate / Common App Activities Short Answer- "Rhythm" [2]

150/150 Words. Any comments/corrections?

Rhythm is prevalent throughout all my activities. From the rapid-fire pulsation of the heart from sprinting down the soccer field, to the calculated, carefully delivered speeches of Model UN, and the steady drudge of spackling when rebuilding homes in New Orleans, everything I do has a meter, cadence and tone. Nothing though, compares to the rhythm I draw from drumming. I've participated in this discipline for six years, through my own practice and four years of participation in High School band. I feel powerful behind the kit. I can drop a fat beat and slip in a slight sizzle of the cymbals. I am the master of time; the cornerstone and motor of any musical endeavor. In my own band, I command stage presence with loud clashes, light swing beats and inventive fills. My sense of rhythm informs my activities and keeps me in tune with the world around me.

Undergraduate / All NYU Personal Statement Prompts - "Movie, NYer, Poem, Summer and Major" [5]

1. In addition to any work experience that you listed on your application, please tell us how you spent your most recent summer vacation.

A week-long, unprompted journey to the Adirondacks began my summer. Away from the city in the tranquility of the woods, I climbed mountains, crossed rivers and exerted myself beyond my own physical and mental limitations. My mornings, beginning in early July, were spent in the grueling heat of tough Soccer practices, running countless laps and drills. Toward the end of summer, I worked as a counselor in an orientation program geared to giving freshman an informed introduction to my high school. 500/500

2. If you had the opportunity to spend one day in New York City with a famous New Yorker, who would it be and what would you do? (Your New Yorker can be anyone -past or present, fictional or nonfictional - who is commonly associated with New York City; they do not necessarily have to have been born and raised in New York.)

No one represents the bohemian, free-thinking, and spontaneous New York as much as the members of the Beat Generation of the late 1950's. I would spend my day with one of the quintessential beats: Allen Ginsberg, Jack Kerouac, Neal Cassady, or William S. Boroughs, simply exploring the city. In Beat fashion, there would be no set plan, but an impulsive journey throughout the city: from festive Coney Island to the avante-garde streets of Brooklyn & the Village in search of hedonistic pleasures. 497/500

3. Write a haiku, limerick, or short (eight lines or less) poem that best represents you.

I am the wayfarer,
Lost in the tangents of the mind,
Driven by cerebral curiosity
I am the wayfarer, the gadabout,
To explore the city streets,
To hunt and inquire, leaving no stone unturned,
I am the wayfarer,
Lost in the endless trance,
of Self-Discovery. 256/500

4. In the year 2050, a movie is being made of your life. Please tell us the name of your movie and briefly summarize the story line.

The noir biopic chronicling the tale of private detective and investigative journalist Rory Bauers, a cum laude graduate of NYU Law School, "Never Sleeps" explores a man discovering the seamy underside of a city rife with crime, corruption, and a decadent lust for power. Through many trials and tribulations, the hardboiled protagonist wades through femme fatales and a spiderweb of deceit, in order to uncover an age old conspiracy that could prove disastrous to the essence and spirit of New York. 500/500

5. Please tell us what led you to select your anticipated academic program and/or NYU school/college, and what interests you most about your intended discipline.

I have decided to be undecided. My high school experience led me to branch out my interests in multiple directions, and I have become increasingly curious about the world around me. Due to my inquisitive nature, I feel that the College of Arts and Sciences is the best choice for me, as it will allow me to explore the myriad of highly regarded academic disciplines that NYU offers, and find my niche for both intellectual and personal growth.

Any comments, questions, mistakes?
Please leave any insight!

Undergraduate / UChi: Why Chicago? "UChicago Gnaws at Me" [4]

Need feedback! Deadline rapidly approaches!

I would like to say that the University of Chicago gnawed at me, that the thought of attending caused intolerable insomnia, that when I first heard its exalted name I collapsed on my knees in praise of the glorious institution, but... there was no lost sleep, no exaltation, and no nibbling, constant anxiety. Actually, besides the proximity to a large urban environment, nothing "fit the bill" about the University of Chicago when I started my process of college searching. It was not on the East Coast (or any coast for that matter) and the notorious motto of "where fun comes to die" turned the University into a frightening, ominous place.

My mind began to change as the admissions process started. While most other schools demanded strict, cookie cutter essays, Chicago used creative prompts, stressed the ability to think critically, and contribute to deep, intense arguments and discussions. The school's intellectually stimulating environment makes me giddy. I value the importance of learning for gaining knowledge over receiving grades, and the student body that the University of Chicago seeks seems to share that same opinion.

There is a certain romanticism and connotation attached to the University of Chicago that is not apparent at any other institution of higher learning I have researched. While some students champion the likenesses of the Gothic architecture and unique house system of the school to their idealized dream of Harry Potter novels, I find that the University's propensity for cultivating creativity, strong dedication to the liberal arts and a well-rounded education, and access to a large, thriving city its most desirable aspects. I am thrilled that The University of Chicago fosters discovery. As an undecided major, I hope to discover my own niche in Chicago's rigorous and broad Common Core, and pursue a degree in one of Chicago's strong humanities and classics departments, and to join the ranks of the Vonneguts and the Hubbles, the commended University of Chicago alumni whose ideas and teachings explore and shape human perception.

Now that I have opened my eyes to UChicago, I can't stop looking. It is the cool kid in your class that you always wanted to be best friends with, the girl that constantly makes you think "if only." It gnaws at me.