Undergraduate / "vocal lessons at The Westminster Choir Conservatory" - NYU supplement [4]

Hi I'm just having some trouble...does this sound good?
In addition to any work experience that you listed on your application, please tell us how you spent your most recent summer vacation.

After taking vocal lessons at The Westminster Choir Conservatory, I returned home to the tropics of Kauai. I spent the remainder of my vacation living life; seizing every precious moment with vigor and zeal. I laughed until I cried and explored until I bruised. I conquered fears and braved the unknown. I danced to the melody of the beaming sun, the gleaming ocean, and the twinkling stars. I danced to the harmony of laughter and tears. Surrounded by fond kinship, I danced to the symphony of life.

ANY and ALL suggestions are greatly appreciated!!
Thanks so much!

Undergraduate / NYU supplement- Why this program? [2]

Hi! the character limit is really killing me here...it just doesn't seem to flow properly and I am looking for input/constructive criticism from those who are willing to give it...I guess i'm just looking for a unique and un-cheesy way to say I LOVE TO SING!!! and why i love to sing in a way that you read it and go "wow...this girl really really loves to sing" and that the reader understands the magnitude of respect, appreciation, and love i have for vocal performance...but i just can't seem to do it D:

MUCH THANKS!

Please tell us what led you to select your anticipated academic program and/or NYU school/college, and what interests you most about your intended discipline.

It is said that "the world is a stage" and this statement has never been as true as when applied to my life. Since early childhood I have been enraptured by the beauty and power of song. My fascination with vocal performance has developed with fortitude as I embraced every opportunity to perform. My universe is centered around this fiery passion, around my love for singing. NYU Steinhardt offers a sanctuary to unify passion and profession in the heart of the most exciting and inspiring city.

Undergraduate / "Are you ready to learn?" - Common App Personal Essay? [12]

Hi can you tell me what you think of this essay for the Common App? If the prose is good? if it is well written? does it draw you in? etc...

MANY THANKS!!

Nervousness and excitement surged through my veins. I stood at the edge of the room, my shiny black shoes stood silent on the gleaming hardwood floor. At such a young age, with seemingly endless years stretched out before me like blank pages, I was unable to fathom the impact that my first days of school would have on my life. My teacher stood in the classroom and expectantly exclaimed "Are you ready to learn?"

I sat at my desk attentively watching my teacher at the chalk board. I watched in awe as very deliberate, fluid white lines appeared on the dark blackboard. I furrowed my brow and frowned as I examined my misshapen, crooked letters. They were a complete disgrace, and I was ready to give up. "The alphabet is the foundation. If you can write letters, then you can write a word. If you can write a word, you can write a sentence and if you can write a sentence then you can write an entire book! It takes practice. Remember to never stop trying" my teacher explained. With new determination and energy I took out a fresh sheet of lined paper and tried again relentlessly.

The next day, my second day of school, I confidently and eagerly entered the classroom. My black shoes gleaming as they click-clicked on the hardwood floor while I walked toward my seat. I wrote and wrote, pressing my pencil into the paper harder and harder to try to control where on the paper the letters would appear. "I will never stop trying." Once again my teacher walked through the room to assess the progress of her student. "Remember to never stop trying. Relax." So I tried again. I let my mind wander. My mind swirled with all the words I would be able to write after all my practice. How I would form those words into sentences and then weave those sentences into a story. There would be no stopping me. The rhythmic clicking of my shiny black shoes resonated in my mind and through the classroom as I left my second day of learning.

Excitement poured out of me as I embarked on my third day of school. I was so eager to once again attempt to successfully write the letters of the alphabet. Click-Click-Click-Click; the rhythm pulsed inside my mind. I brought out a clean sheet of lined paper and began to write my foundation, the click-clicking pulsing in my mind. My shiny black shoes rhythmically tapping under my desk. My teacher demonstrated over and over. Never give up trying, I repeated to myself as I attempted to mirror her precision. Over and over I practiced. My shiny black shoes clicked on the gleaming hardwood floor. "You did it!" my teacher exclaimed.

I practiced more and more, constantly reminding myself to never give up trying, despite the infuriating frustration I endured. My shiny black shoes tapping wildly against the gleaming hardwood floor. I practiced in the classroom with my teacher until I had mastered how to write the letters; the foundation. Then I began to build on the foundation, I began to write words. My shiny black shoes fiercely exploding as they grazed against the gleaming hardwood floor. I practiced in the classroom with my teacher until I was able to write a sentence. The constant, pulsing rhythm resonating through my mind. My shiny black shoes singing against the gleaming hardwood floor. I practiced in the classroom with my teacher until I was able to weave those sentences into a story. My shiny black shoes passionately erupting against the gleaming hardwood floor as I glided to the beat. I practiced in the kitchen with my mother as I learned how to tap dance. It was there where the ideals of diligence and perseverance were instilled in me to nurture my ambitions, were embedded in my personality. My shiny black shoes rejoicing as they created a story on the gleaming hardwood floor.

Undergraduate / NYU supplement; 'A day in NYC with anyone' [9]

If you had the opportunity to spend one day in New York City with a famous New Yorker, who would it be and what would you do? (Your New Yorker can be anyone -past or present, fictional or nonfictional - who is commonly associated with New York City; they do not necessarily have to have been born and raised in New York.)

I would choose to spend a day in New York City with a cunning, mischevious, spunky, red-headed ten year old; Annie Warbucks. Together Annie and I will explore every nook and cranny of this magnificient city. Two similar spirits bravely endeavoring thorugh a concrete jungle. I would ask Annie of her life during the Great Depression and have the opportunity to learn the perspective of a child living during the stock-market crash. We would compare the modern city and economic crisis to her time's.

the character limit is really causing me to struggle...im just also not sure what i can say...please help!
THANKS SO MUCH!!

Undergraduate / NYU supplement- 2050 movie, May 21, 2027 [7]

In the year 2050, a movie is being made of your life. Please tell us the name of your movie and briefly summarize the story line.

Sing for Me. May 21, 2027. (name) is thirty four. She stands on a large, outdoor stage. The final 0 rolls into the seventh digit place. $1,000,000 to cancer research. December 17, 2018. (name) is twenty-six. She stands at center stage, singing with ferocity as the Broadway musical closes. The audience erupts as she takes her bow. March 2, 2024. (name) is thirty-one. A friend is diagnosed with brain cancer. Determined to find a cure, (name) uses the power of song to help save friends everywhere.

it's just not flowing correctly, and it just doesn't sound right...is my approach to the prompt okay?
once again...the character count is KILLING me!!