Writing Feedback / Teaching of music, art, and drama are critical in revealing hidden abilities of children [3]

HI.
Please grade my essay. Subjects such as art, music, and drama should be a part of every child's basic education.

Nowadays almost all schools include such subjects as art, drama, and music in their educational program. Therefore, by the time when children graduate school they have general understanding and basic knowledge in all of them. In my opinion, it is a positive tendency and these subjects should indeed be a part of every child's education. I would like to introduce several reasons and examples that I believe will support my viewpoint.

First and foremost, teaching of subjects such as art, drama and music is very crucial in forming of a thoroughly developed and educated individual who is well aware not only of science and related fields but also of arts in wide sense of this word. Completely educated person should have skills or at least knowledge in and understanding of art, music and drama as well, because these subjects develop creativity and artistic approach to life and surrounding world. Even though if a child will not pursue any of these fields of arts, he will be able to comprehend and appreciate them, by making his input to preservation and promotion of these subjects in future. For example, I did not attend any specialized music or art school, but my basic knowledge obtained at school assist me in apprehension and evaluation of pieces of art, music or drama. In addition, I can hold discussion in any of these subjects without any difficulties due to my background, received at school.

Furthermore, teaching of these subjects helps parents in detection of hidden talents and special aptitudes of their child, because usually parents take their children to specialized art or music schools after discovering interest and abilities toward any of the mentioned subjects. For instance, my neighbors decided to send their seven years daughter to fine art courses because she was doing very well in her art class, especially in painting.

Moreover, teaching of these subjects enrich the inside world of any child and assist in expression of ideas, thoughts and feelings that a child is unable to due to the traits of character. Usually people who cannot convey their feelings through words are successfully express them by playing music, drawing, creating sculptures and so on. The best example is the prominent scientist A. Einstein who was at the same time a very good violin player. When asked of the reason of his passion to music he responded that it was the best way to express what he could not deliver in words.

In contrary, too much propagation of music, art or drama may shift a child away from the other subjects that constitute an important part of education as well. Only few of children desplay special aptitude to the mentioned subjects and mere interest in, let us say, music may persuade parents and a child to believe falsely that the latter has talent to it and drift him/her away from studying other subjects, causing serious gaps in a child's education.

In conclusion, I would like to emphasize, that teaching of music, art, and drama are critical in revealing hidden abilities of children toward these subjects and in forming completely educated and thoroughly developed individual with rich inside world. That is why I adhere to opinion that music, art and drama should be a part of every child's education.

Writing Feedback / TOEFL essay: government should spend as much money as possible on social issues [7]

Every government has its budget where it defines how much money should be assigned on what. In order to sustain normal activity of a state and its citizens, as well as provide high standards of living for its population the government should spends the vast majority of its funds on solving social issues, improving education, developing science and promoting various field of economy. That is why I think that the government should spend as much money as possible on what is of greater importance for people, which is solving the basic problems of the society.

All states consist of people that live there and, indeed, they all have certain social need. The main concern of every government must be the satisfaction of these needs and provide people with proper living conditions, because people create the government to assist them in working out solution for the type of problems that particular individuals are not able to deal with. How can a certain government assign money funds that are formed mainly with money that people pay to state in the form of taxes to the development of something that is too remote from their basic needs? It is not reasonable, for example, to Central African countries to spend money on development, let us say, on space technology or exploration of universe or promoting nuclear energy, if their population experience problems with employment, infrastructure and economy. Only after addressing all basic problems of society, which has not been achieved even in very developed first - world countries, a government may direct its attention and consequently the majority of its fund on developing space technology and the like.

Furthermore, there is no need to develop space equipment for further exploration of other planets appropriate for living if people will have everything that they need to satisfy their basic material and social need that are clean environment, infrastructure, good jobs, enough money to support household and their family. If people are satisfied with everything on the Earth they will not think of moving to another remote and unfamiliar place that definitely will not be better that our planet because it is unique and as proved still is the most perfect habitat for human.

On the other hand, governments may allocate some sums on scientific investigation of cosmos and other planets, because it is not impossible and rational to make obstacles for further progress of science. However, money spend on mentioned fields should not be significant and done on the basis of cutting off expenditures that are necessary for satisfying needs of society.

In conclusion, I would like to mention briefly that if governments spend money on fulfillment of people's basic needs that must constitute the main purpose of each government there will be no need to spend huge amounts of money on exploration of other planets. Therefore, I support the viewpoint that government should spend as much money as possible on solving the basic problem of society.

Writing Feedback / TOEFL essay: The automobile is destroying our quality of life. [9]

please,guy, check my essay and tell me your opinion on its essence and structure, as well as grammar and vocabulary.

From the very moment of construction and release to masses an automobile became one of the most popular and demanded invention of twentieth century and acquired wide use all over the world. Although it has few advantages, such as the ability to deliver people and cargo to the point of destination for relatively little amount of time, disadvantages outnumber positive characteristics of an automobile. For that reason I consider it to destroy the quality of the human life.

One of the problems is the constant and disproportionate to population increase in number of automobiles on streets and roads of big cities, the natural consequence of which are long lines of traffic jams. They slow down traffic movement and significantly hinder the speed of automobiles, in fact minimizing the sole advantage of last to deliver people timely and rapidly to the point of destination. For example, very often I was late to lectures and once to very important meeting, because of traffic jams, that become frequent in my city during the last ten years. Many of world's largest metropolises, such as Moscow, London and New York suffer from traffic jams, as well as my home city.

But the main disadvantage of automobiles is that they are considered to be one of the primary sources of the air pollution. Gases that exhaust from automobiles engines spread over big territories and come into reaction with other gases in the air, the result of which is the formation of smog, which is poisonous to human health. For example, when people wait in traffic jams and breathe gases that release from engines of cars in front of them, it could result in various deceases from irritation to eyes to lung cancer. Moreover, it prevents the exchange of heat between the Earth and the atmosphere, causing greenhouse effect, which leads to huge change in climate and destroys the biosphere. What makes things worse is that damage caused could not be seen at once, but reveals itself after long period of time when it becomes too late.

Therefore, I thing that negative impacts of automobiles far more exceed positive ones and surely decrease the quality of life of population, especially those living in cities.

Writing Feedback / TOEFL essay: People have too much free time nowadays. Do you agree or disagree? [4]

I have placed another TOEFL essay. Please, provide your comments on all aspects of writing.
Is the number of examples is sufficient or do I need more. How do I have to write essays which I disagree with?

All people need free time to recover from hard work, improve their health, spend it with their families and so on. However, due to several factors the amount of free time available to people is getting smaller, so that nowadays people do not have much free time.

Nowadays, the amount of information available to people is rapidly growing and in order to stay beyond the progress and to raise further their knowledge and background as well as be aware of recent developments and achievements in particular fields of science or art, people have to work on themselves by constant reading and analyzing the available data. Because searching and acquaintance with all the information available to an individual, the one has to spend a lot of his/her time and efforts to conduct these activities. For example, the lawyer has to spend the majority of his/her free time exploring recent articles, books, amendments to the current legislation on various aspects of legal studies, since at work he/she does not manage time. Thus, very little free time is left to dedicate to family or to rest.

Furthermore, more and more people have to work at several jobs during the day to financially secure themselves and maintain normal standards of living for their family. The necessity to meet basic material needs enforce people to direct all their time to earning money, leaving no vacant time for leisure.

On the other hand, automatized houses and workplaces, which became equipped with devises and machines, that perform the bulk of work instead of people provide more free time to be used on other activities. For example, a woman is able to complete her household faster with the aim of automats domestic automatic machines and devote the rest of her time to her children or herself.

So that the great amount of information and material required for the one to get familiar and comprehend together with necessity to work additionally to provide better living conditions leaves very little free time. Therefore, I think that people do not have very much free time nowadays.