Undergraduate / "turn my ideas into a contribution of society" - Why Columbia [5]

Hi all, this is my first time posting here and I am hoping to receive some helpful advice for my essay.

Also, I was wondering could I post more than 1 essay per thread? I have 2 more for you to read if you would :) Thanks!

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Please tell us what you find most appealing about Columbia and why.

It is a well known fact that Columbia has a superb academic system, but more for me, the most appealing aspects of matriculating at Columbia would be about the people and places.

As a part of the rich learning environment Columbia hosts, there exists a wealth of knowledge residing in Noble Laureate professors and in the students who often perform revelatory research. Collectively, Columbia's family of students and alumni exert an immense presence; in the world, this impact has influenced HIV/AIDS treatment, and in New York City, students of Columbia excel in community services such as tutoring via the Double Discovery Center. I want to be surrounded by this talent and absorbed in this culture so that I may refine my character and adapt to the world right at its crossroads.

This crossroad is the dynamic city of New York because the lawns nested in the center of the campus are like a metaphor for the school and the city: a prominent hub for people of various backgrounds to explore each other's passions and enjoy each other's company. Surrounding this bustling area is the magnificent neo-classical bold architecture in a modernized city, and taking it all in the first time I stood there, I felt of tremendously inspired for my current aspirations.

Columbia will help me turn my ideas into a contribution of society and I expect to give back to the community by enrolling at Columbia because its comprehensive experience would be the perfect college adventure for me to grow on.

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Undergraduate / Things I Want to Accomplish in the Next 4 Years - Why Yale [4]

You have already told us about yourself in the Common Application, with its list of activities, Short Answer, and Personal Essay. In this required second essay, tell us something that you would like us to know about you that we might not get from the rest of your application - or something that you would like a chance to say more about.

Yale is a liberal arts college with the capabilities of a research institution, the type of post-secondary education I am yearning to receive! My goal at Yale would be to pursue the knowledge of green architecture through the school's inspiring experience that hosts the best professors, research, and extracurricular activities, which together I trust will mold me into a well rounded citizen.

The spark for my ambition of architecture comes from my younger years, when I found a fascination with the skyscrapers that towered my neighborhood. Since then, I have sketched hundreds of concepts and used LEGO and balsa wood to construct models to express my creativity. My interest is fueled by the design process: to successfully mold a personal feeling into something real and concrete. When the words "climate change" entered my vocabulary, I relished the idea to couple sustainability to design. I want to preserve of the environment by incorporating sustainable principles with the beauty of design. Yale can bestow me with its all encompassing education to allow me to pay respect to these relationships in everything I do.

The resources contained within Yale's 22 building library system are almost unlimited, and is fully capable of providing me with the information I need to achieve my dreams. I see Yale's resources as an extension of everything I have stood for: creativity, culture, inspiration, passion, and even little charm. Furthermore, I want to broaden the innovative ideas that are already exemplified by Yalies, such as the Sustainable Food Project that aims to provide for a more sustainable dining service. In addition, President Richard Levin demonstrates great leadership in reducing Yale's environmental impact through the signing of the Sustainability Strategic Plan, which I find very motivating for my current goals.

Yalies are the brightest students have a diverse personality. Although I may not have scored high on my SATs, my outgoing personality helps me thrive by encouraging the flow of ideas and making those ever so important personal connections. I am also very proud of being curious: I like to absorb as much knowledge as possible and the best way to do so is getting involved in various activities. As a student at Yale, I would confidently reflect school spirit by attending events like the football games and joining organizations such as the Hunger and Homelessness Action Project to carry on my enjoyment of volunteerism. At Yale, I will refine my character through the engaging residential college system and hone my abilities amidst the talented professors to adapt to the ever changing world.

With my academic potential and idiosyncratic energy, I believe I would be a very amazing addition to Yale. Not only will I benefit, but I believe the application of my ideas and knowledge can be a crucial contribution to the sustainability of society. I expect to give back to the community because Yale's holistic liberal arts experience would be the perfect college adventure for me to continue to grow on.

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Tips & example suggestions? :)

Scholarship / "ambition of civil engineering" - Canadian University of Alberta [2]

This is for a scholarship (40k) at a Canadian university. No specific word count (it's added to a PDF to be printed). Any tips would be appreciated!

Describe your academic and career goals. How will your education at the University of Alberta help you achieve them?

It is a well known fact that the University of Alberta is a superb research university, and for me, matriculating would be a dream coming true because I am yearning to receive its post-secondary education. The U of A is the best place for me to pursue the knowledge of sustainable engineering due to its inspiring experience that hosts the best professors, research, and extracurricular activities. Together, these aspects will mold me into a well rounded citizen.

My ambition of civil engineering sparks from my youth, when I became fascinated with the skyscrapers that towered my neighborhood. Since then, I have sketched concept art and constructed models with LEGO and balsa wood to express my creativity. I have also travelled through many places and discovered many engineering masterpieces. It is the design process that fuels my interest: molding an idea into something real and concrete. When the words "climate change" entered my vocabulary, I relished the idea to preserve the environment by incorporating ecological principles with the beauty of design. Together with my outgoing personality and curiosity, I can encourage the flow of ideas and learn about new innovations to apply to this field. The U of A can grant me its comprehensive education for me to pay respect to this relationship.

I see the university as an extension of who I am: creativity, culture, inspiration, and even a little charm. With more than 37,000 students, it is a metaphor for the world: a hub for people of various backgrounds to explore each other's passions and company. As a part of the learning environment the U of A hosts, a wealth of understanding exists in the professors and students who often perform enlightening research. The school's resources are almost unlimited and fully capable of providing me with the information I need to achieve my dreams. I also want to broaden my green ideas that are already exemplified through joining the Environmental Coordination Office of Students and the Campus Community Garden that is showcasing environmentally friendly agriculture techniques.

Currently, I am facing a major obstacle in my life: my father was diagnosed with liver cancer last summer. The news came as a shock and forced me to reassess life. Even though my father holds high hopes for his diagnosis, I try to conceal my emotional turmoil. However, after participating in university level research at the Canadian Center for Behavioral Neuroscience, I was re-energized and re-determined to do my best in my final year of high school and extracurricular activities. This ordeal has also taught me self discipline: to not be complacent - instead I should be driven to make the most of my life. My respect for my parents is greater as I do not want to waste their sacrifices for my potential. Not only would attending a prestigious institution make them incredibly proud, but I would have no regrets in my education.

As I am on my quest to define myself, I also recognize the value of life and aspire to appreciate everything that dwells within it. Challenges like this have strengthened my resolve to continue with my life, but with savings alone, I am unable to afford for world class education. With this scholarship I can focus on schoolwork and research instead of working at a job to pay for tuition and rooming because I believe education is my first priority as a student. If provided, this scholarship will also enhance my applications for internships. In addition to my need, I want to show my parents my admiration by using the money saved from this award towards my father's treatments.

With my academic potential and idiosyncratic energy, I would be an amazing addition to the U of A since I am keen to utilize what I have learned. Not only will I flourish amidst engaging students and talented professors, but I believe the application of my ideas and knowledge can be a significant contribution to the environmental preservation of society. I expect to give back to the community because the U of A's holistic experience would be the perfect experience for me to continue to grow on.