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Posts by asolayman
Joined: Dec 29, 2010
Last Post: Dec 31, 2010
Threads: 3
Posts: 9  
From: United States of America

Displayed posts: 12
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asolayman   
Dec 30, 2010
Undergraduate / "Arab Belly Dancer" - ETHNIC COMMUNITY I BELONG TO- UMICH ESSAY [2]

Everyone belongs to many different communities and/or groups defined by (among other things) shared geography, religion, ethnicity, income, cuisine, interest, race, ideology, or intellectual heritage. Choose one of the communities to which you belong, and describe that community and your place within it.

I am an Arab Belly Dancer in a school of African Beat-Steppers, Mexican Salsa Swingers, and Filipino Wood Jumpers. With my high school being viewed as the most diverse in the city, this is nothing more than merely my everyday. This is not to say I attend all of my classes in a coin-embroidered hip scarf, but I do bring along all of my thoughts, opinions, experiences, morals, and beliefs that everyone else does.

I have had the privilege of attending a high school where open discussion is encouraged and opinion sharing is acclaimed. With people from literally all walks of life, it is certain that opinions vary and challenges arise. As teenagers, we have argued, debated and quarreled time and time again about pressing issues concerning politics, religion and philosophy; just the way we should have. In pushing my opinions and beliefs on others, I picked up a few new ones along the way. I thank my African Beat-Steppers and Mexican Salsa Swingers for helping me shape all of my opinions and giving me the one present that I could never have got myself, tolerance.

its short i know, but i wanted to expand on how exactly im a bellydancer and like how exactly these peple have affected me. ANY HELP would be greatly appreciated!
asolayman   
Dec 30, 2010
Undergraduate / "Humane Society Experience" - Common Application Short Answer [3]

perhaps elaborate SLIGHTLY on how exactly you've helped, it might be worth elaborating on slightly. they wanna know what you've done, and why this was important to you. just think up something that hits that at all angles

Upon arrival, I was instructed to give the dogs treats and I noticed that there seemed to be a rather small amount of treats, but I assumed that there was a larger storage elsewhere.

the area i have bolded is just a suggestion.
asolayman   
Dec 30, 2010
Undergraduate / 'therapeutic movies' - Emerson College Supplemental Essay [3]

whenever

Movies are therapeutic. they know its your opinion, no need to say " to me"

i dont think its best to say you fight with your parents lol, rather you can say when you find yourself in an argument..

Home Alone, Ferris Bueller's Day Off, and the Breakfast Club seem to just disolve all of my problems.


having a career in movies would not only be a dream come true but it would be a stress relief- better than any zen dvd's or rock gardens I've ever seen.

^the end of that sentence is just a suggestion, it just kinda seemed like a natural fit in the sentence and just came to me lol

Thus, my first choice major at Emerson is Media Studies with a concentration on producing.

like i said just suggestions, but the content is good

asolayman   
Dec 30, 2010
Undergraduate / "an abundance of career options and successful education" - WHY NORTHWESTERN? [4]

I have had an internship at the Northwestern University Bluhm Legal Clinic as part of the benefits awarded to me as a member of the Law and Public Safety Academy at Mather High School. This honors program focuses on preparing high school students for a career within the law, as well as offering real-life experience with jobs, and internships.

At the legal clinic, I have been working directly with the operations manager on several cases, and gaining knowledge about court reporting, the appeals process, and exoneration. As part of the internship, I have attended a Family Law class taught by Professor Shapo at the Northwestern School of Law. I found the class incredibly fascinating and wished my time there would not end. The experience was priceless. I was impressed with the drive of the students which I have never before witnessed in my high school setting. I also was able to attend a class at the Northwestern undergraduate school where I once again saw the same drive and motivation that was so apparent. All students seemed prepared and eager to learn.

The Law and Public Safety Academy is an honors program has required me to take nothing but Honors and Advanced Placement coursework as part of my high school curriculum. Having experienced a similar workload as a college student, I know that I am equipped to live up to the Northwestern standard of education and academic rigor.

I am interested in enrolling in The Weinberg College of Arts and Sciences and studying Middle Eastern Studies, Economics, and Political Science. The Weinberg College of Arts and Sciences is one of the few colleges that offer Middle Eastern Studies as a major or minor. I am planning on taking classes on this subject not only for my personal academic benefit, but for the abilities it will grant me. Being well versed in Middle Eastern history and events will give me the basis of today's pressing issues. One may argue that the ancient pyramids have nothing to do with today's oil concerns, but doesn't it? Long-term rivalries and natural resource issues date back thousands upon thousands of years. I will be able to apply this knowledge in many ways, whether it is debating dilemmas with various ambassadors, or having an educational chat with a cousin or two, the knowledge I'll have gained will allow me to become a better citizen. In essence, I feel the goal of the Weinberg College of Arts and Sciences is to do just that, equip its students with the knowledge that will lead them to a better future, and in turn, become a better citizen. I want to graduate from Northwestern University with a degree that will not only leave me with an abundance of career options, but the satisfaction of education.

i REALLY NEED HELP! idk where to expand and where not to. i know it doesnt flow, i need help with the transitions.
asolayman   
Dec 31, 2010
Undergraduate / "A Letter to Mr. Chu." - Common App Essay [7]

lulling me to safety

glad that you'd be there to support and care for me in the future.

^^^awkward

whenever I accomplished

because I you

i also dont get what you mean about describing the situation youve never been in.
asolayman   
Dec 31, 2010
Undergraduate / "we thank you for your interest in becoming part CVS pharmacy" - for high end schools [3]

called " The Body Electric"

the, then bygone, field of bioelectricity.

exc ited as a child

OKAY honestly i stopped reading cuz it was kinda boring. you need to portray more passion in the subject if you truly have passion for it or else the schools wont understand how passionate you are for it. maybe expand on how you want to contribute to our knowledge of ___ lol

but read my umich one? please and thank you. and really, expand more on the actual impact that this experience had on you, thats where the meat of the essay should be, the experience should only be the side dish.
asolayman   
Dec 31, 2010
Undergraduate / University of Wisconsin (overanalyzing) + Illinois: Short Essay (Professional goals) [2]

soon enough I realized there

Because of this drive to know more and understand more,

you may want to rephrase that, its kind of awkward

psychology.where I can study how the human brain functions and how their emotions could affect matters (and decision making?)

My nature of overanalyzing things always complicates situations but I have come to term with it; I soon realize that because I overanalyze matters I have become more observant --- just rephrase it, it sounds like you almost have a problem, not exactly beneficial for a college to know. say that youre observant and analytical. you have an eye for detail

use my observational skills to

I'm looking forward to becoming a successful psychologist especially

just try to rephrase things where you can, touch ups. pther than that, i like what you are trying to say
asolayman   
Dec 31, 2010
Undergraduate / "COWBOY BOOTS" - STANFORD - ROOMMATE LETTER [6]

i think you can expand on the artistic flare slightly, its just kinda naked there. whats artistic about you? maybe you could make a collage with the roommate or decorate the dorm together or something lol. its just a suggestion but i think it makes room for some personality and creativity in the essay.

other than that, i really liked it
asolayman   
Dec 31, 2010
Undergraduate / "Rubber bands and synthesized rain at 3 AM" - Stanford Roommate Essay [7]

i think you need to say like
sincerely stephanie or something

LOL

but you may wanna take out:
Usually I have headphones on, listening to synthesized rain and wielding a paintbrush or a pencil, engrossed in putting my imagination on paper.

and see where it puts you with the word limit. or try cutting down this sentence:

don't know what it is - the moments of beautiful, complete silence, the realization that only you and a few strangers out there are sharing this time of the day, or just the feeling of conquering nature's biological clock - that makes the hours after 3 AM so invigorating.
asolayman   
Dec 31, 2010
Undergraduate / "quarter system; major in Economics" - What attract you to NORTHWESTERN [2]

Currently I am a student at Mather High School, and as of September of 2011, I wish to be a student at Northwestern University. I am an honors student who has done nothing but push myself time and time again to further my education and the institution I wish to pursue that knowledge in is Northwestern University.

There are so many qualities that attract me to northwestern and specifically, the Weinberg College of arts and sciences. Weinberg is a leading liberal arts college with more than 2000 courses of study available to its students. I am incredibly interested in being not only able to take classes within this college, but also enrolling in courses in Northwestern's schools of Communication, Education, and Social Policy, Engineering, Journalism and Music. Further, Northwestern is a large university, but 75% of the classes have a class size of 25 or fewer so I definitely will not feel like just another number. Sure, I'll have the classes where I'll barely be able to get a word in, but that will just push me to make sure the words I get in are that much more impacting.

Weinberg also offers a lot of opportunities for internships. I currently have an internship at the Northwestern University Bluhm Legal Clinic, so I will most definitely taking advantage of the prospect. Since October of 2010, I have been working directly with the operations manager on several cases, and gaining knowledge about court reporting, the appeals process, and exoneration. Part of my internship experience was attending a Family Law class taught by Professor Shapo at the Northwestern School of Law. The experience was invaluable, to say the least. The apparent motivation and eagerness in every student's eyes as the professor lectured was amazing; it really spoke to the University's curriculum and standards. Northwestern University, including its Law, Medical, and Business school, is prestigious, selective, and they set the standard for all other top universities when it comes to academics. The professors and staff are second-to-none and this is apparent in their students' successes.

Northwestern University operates on the ever-so-familiar quarter system which I am greatly interested in. Having the quarter system would allow me the option of pursuing a double major, something I previously thought impossible, but am now genuinely considering. Middle Eastern Studies has posed a great interest of mine, a passion if you will. Studying legacies, rivalries, and the ancient origins of today's pressing issues would be captivating. Economics has also been an area of study that I have been fascinated by from a young age. In perusing the university website and degree requirements, I came to find not only a plain list of necessary classes, but a unique description of the various options one may take with said degree and how one may apply it to graduate school options. I was told Northwestern had an excellent advising system and this proved it. If there were so many options available to me on the website alone, I can only imagine how helpful my advisors and counselors would be to me.

My prospective major is Economics. I believe Economics is the basis of all things business and consists of the very principles that govern our daily lives. As I began my internship at Northwestern, I came across an article about a Northwestern Professor of Economics. Professor Dale Mortensen was recently recognized with the award of a Nobel Prize for his analysis of markets with search friction; incredible. It would be an honor and a privilege to study under such an amazing professor and an entire staff that truly strives for greatness. "Professor Dale Mortensen won the Nobel Prize in economics for his work explaining how unemployment, job vacancies and wages are affected by regulation and economic policy." This was the quote below Professor Mortensen's picture in the article entitled: "Dale Mortensen Wins Nobel Prize" I began to look into Professor Mortensen's works and was captivated by his advanced knowledge and grasp of Economics. "This is a great honor for Professor Mortensen and for Northwestern and a recognition of the important research that is being done at the University," said Northwestern University President Morton Schapiro.

Attending Northwestern University would mean my dreams, aspirations, and goals would be realized. I would be enrolled at the very school that not only wants me to receive the best education possible, by the best professors possible, and have the best opportunities possible, but it wants me to succeed. There is a reason that Northwestern is doing some of the most advanced research in all fields and housing some of the greatest minds out there; Northwestern wants its students to be the difference and be the generation that makes that difference known. The experience I would have at Northwestern would not only be academically amazing, but traditionally enjoyable. What could be more interesting than attending a football game at one of the founding universities of the Big Ten Conference? The answer to that would be going to a Profess Mortensen lecture of course! Gathering in the courtyard for the Primal Scream, witnessing my feet swell up like balloons at the Dance Marathon, and painting The Rock are all quirky traditions that go on at Northwestern, and I want to be a part of each and every one of them. I want to discover, discuss, and have the determination to do. Without discovery there is no discussion of information. And without discussion, there is no determination to act upon the information. These three essentials of education encompass all of what I want to experience at Northwestern University. A degree in Economics, or Middle Eastern Studies, or even Political Science would all be amazing to receive, but the determination to do something with that degree, and do something great, is exactly what I have.
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