Undergraduate / 'its destiny is change' - UC Personal #2 [13]

Tell us about a personal quality, talent, accomplishment, contribution or experience that is important to you. What about this quality or accomplishment makes you proud and how does it relate to the person you are?

I crafted the cover myself. It's a random collage of torn bits out of a magazine; thrown together and painted over with Elmer's glue in a fleeting gasp of late night inspiration. There exists a single brown eye paired with an unmatching mouth, a faded turquoise wooden wall, navy paisley, a woman clutching her black sun hat in a gust of wind, a lonely, vintage vase of white roses looming on a nightstand, all thrown together with whatever else I unearthed. I knew this would be the journal I actually write in.

It is my own piece of beautiful, creative chaos; the ebb and flow of my mental state, contained in one small spiral bound notebook. It breathes and moves as I write, sometimes fast paced, hard and cynical, or calm and reflective, gloomy or exultant.

I write letters to myself. I address letters to inanimate objects and individuals who will never read them. Sharply angled, dark penciled drawings mark the margins, and on occasion a page will contain only a single sentence. There are lists of what I love, hate, what I know will change and what won't, what I would do given all the time in the world. Favorite songs, lyrics, and quotations litter the pages, random and somewhat irrelevant. Often, cynicism surfaces and my language leaps up to bite anyone who dares read. Then it seems as if I discover the meaning of life, and everything gloriously spreads itself in front of me, and just when I believed myself happy, reality claws at the door again and sends me spiraling back down into cynicism.

Now after a solid two years and four journals, I see. I see that no matter how many times I discover my purpose, its destiny is change. Meaning emerges not from a single revelation, but a series of many- a collage of torn out ideas and philosophies that, however random, all make their home on the looking glass through which I see my life. They create a cover, if you will, and life is the journal I actually write in.

Undergraduate / 'White, blonde, good grades, various extracurriculars' - UC #1 [6]

Describe the world you come from - for example, your family, community or school - and tell us how your world has shaped your dreams and aspirations.

I may appear cookie cutter and dime a dozen on the outside. White, blonde, good grades, various extracurriculars- I shan't bore with details. But there are two things that have completely made me. First, that I grew up in the suburbs, and second, that I have the most wonderful dad on the face of the earth. (This isn't meant to be superlative- I truly believe it.)

The suburbs have made a wonderful impact upon my life. Conformity here is inherent- even in my preteen years I saw and rejected it. Even at 96 pounds and 4'10" I refused to wear the clothes of my peers and chose to dress like an adult. Upon receiving the inquiry "Why are you dressed like you're going to work?" I merely shrugged and wondered at the speaker's backwards, flat brimmed hat. My pursuit of academics- especially the sciences- also veered dangerously outside of the norm. The more I learned, the more curiosity I had, and I yearned for my studies to become more difficult and more in depth. This was unheard of- even the smart kids voiced their distaste for school and learning. I never really realized outright that this was abnormal. It was merely the way I was, and I never saw a problem with it. As my height increased, so did my lust for knowledge, which can be attributed to my most wonderful father.

It is not uncommon for my sisters to enter a room and find a fierce argument between my dad and me. Looking through a window onto the scene it would appear to be the typical father-daughter argument about a piercing, tattoo, or disagreeable boyfriend. But that is not the case, for we are doubtlessly debating over some understanding of physics, chemistry, or mathematics. Voices get raised, emotions get high, but we are the opposite of resentful. See, despite not having the financial means to get through much college, my dad has consistently shown me what true lifelong learning looks like. He, with his leisurely perusing of Wikipedia, can match my own knowledge of AP Chemistry in debate with ease. He taught me about the rotation of the planets and iambic pentameter long before I reached the concepts in school, and I, to his current disbelief, still remember with precision exactly what he told me. He feeds off of my intense curiosity, and I off of his, which has always created an immense amount of respect on both sides.

All of these influences combined led me to discover my passion for science, and in more research, engineering. I know that I will use my love for science to create and build something far beyond what I can currently imagine possible, and most definitely, something far from cookie cutter.

It's a little rough, so any and all criticism is EXTREMELY welcome :)