Letters / Knows the goal and how to achieve it; Letter of Recommendation from Chemistry teacher [6]

In this letter of recommendation by the counselor, the student's name is ABC and the school's name is XYZ. Thank you very much for your feedback.

To whom it may concern,

As the main teacher of Chemistry specialized class in XYZ High School for the Gifted, I have had the pleasure of knowing ABC for the last three years. I strongly believe that she will provide good addition to your school's population.

What impresses me most about ABC was neither her excelling at academic achievement nor an overly/excessive enthusiasm on the lessons, but otherwise her continuous effort to fulfill the goals. During the three years guiding and observing ABC, I realized that this student had very strong will and great potential: her final grades increased every year to maintain in the top quarter of the class of 44, even in top 5 in the last semester.

Compared with many other students I have counseled so far, ABC is among the most accomplished students. Apart from scoring well in natural science subjects she also excel at social science ones, especially English and Literature. I was not at all surprised when she passed the entrance exam to two famous universities in my country at two majors with really high scores.

Not only ABC's academic excellence but also her characteristics won my favor. She always expressed deep concerns for others. I remember on preparing for the class's musical performance in the closing ceremony at the end of the 11th school year, a group of five students in the class were in charge of laboratory experiments for the magic show. Unfortunately, one student carelessly allowed Chlorate Kali to get into contact with red Phosphorus, which led to an explosion. The explosion was small but still powerful enough to injure him with temporarily scalded hands. After that sorrowful accident, ABC often came to visit him at his house. She also took his notebooks and, with some other classmates, helped writing down the lessons. The pitiful incidence turned out to tightening the friendship bond between them.

ABC's amiable personality helps her to easily win the affections of people around. She is perceived as friendly and influential among her classmates; therefore, though not a class officer, ABC usually played a leading role in every of the class's activities.

ABC is truly the type of person who knows the goal and how to achieve it. I have the confidence that she will continue to perform excellently during her college period. If you have any questions regarding this recommendation, please contact me anytime at your convenience.

Sincerely yours,
Teacher's name

Undergraduate / Essay on Contribution to hometown (Wesleyan education) [3]

Topic: please tell us how you would use your Wesleyan education to make a contribution to your home country. (Approximately 400 words)

[b]Below is my response to the essay question: why you are interested in your choice of major, required by Drexel University
Could you please help checking the ideas, word choice, grammar and tone? (any, not necessarily all, of course ^___^)
It is a little bit similar to the Contribution essay I've posted. :-" You all know how these application essays work. :"> j/k ^^

Today's global environment makes it necessary to have worldwide knowledge, rather than focusing only on domestic climate. Therefore, studying abroad provides a golden key to open the door to human intellect and images of the real world. The United States is undoubtedly the most desirable destination because of its unique liberal art colleges that provide rigorous education environment. Among hundreds of prestigious schools, Drexel University particularly attracts me for its high quality of education, lively campus community, and especially the advantageous co-op programs.

Applying to Drexel University, I hope to pursue the major in business. The chief reason is that I come from Vietnam, a developing country in Southeast Asia, where skilled laborers are immensely needed. Often when involved in international trade cases, Vietnam finds itself suffering from some financial loss. This fact is largely due to a severe dearth of human capitals in Micro and Macro management. By studying business at Drexel and taking co-op chances to learn how the real market operates in (one of) the most competitive trading environment(s), I will make an effortful attempt to bring positive changes to the current domestic economic downturn.

Also, for the most part, a major in business can broaden both my mind and skills. Hardly could any other profession adopt such flexibility and comprehensiveness. I can learn to adapt changes in the global market as well as gain adequate knowledge in many other fields such as law, sociology, psychology, etc. Some elite business leaders of the world as Bill Gates, the legendary billionaire, or Sergey Brin, founder of the Google search engine company and internet entrepreneur, possessed such great philosophy and creativity that they become greatly influential and exemplary to the youth. In order to achieve my savage dream to be like them, I determine that the first step is to follow a reputable education provider. [this paragraph is very, very awkward, really need help here :( thanx]

Apart from academic rationales, business major is appealing to me because a future vocation in this area will help me to satisfy my desire to physically discover the world. Doing business with international partners will supply me with a large amount of abroad travel, which is one of my biggest interests. I have been to many areas of Vietnam, my home country, and highly valued their beautiful landscape and rich culture, like tranquil Hue old capital, busy Hoi An ancient town or flowery Da Lat valley. I yearningly wish to have similar experience in other parts of the world like expecting the sunrise at a crowded port in Venice or lying comfortably on the white sand by the blue waving sea of Hawaii. Those are valuable adventures that a different job like accountant or science researcher with equally heavy work-load and well-paid salary cannot grant me.

However happy I feel towards my present life, I am ready for a new home at pleasant Philadelphia, where I could cultivate my interest in business major and discover a vibrant campus life. I am looking forward to receiving the accepted ticket for the journey to gain humans' most valuable treasure: knowledge. [silly ending :(( saveeeeeeeeeeeee meeee :((]

Thank you for you help! :)

Undergraduate / Response to question "to what other colleges..."? [3]

Hello,

I am in the application process, and I'm really confused about how and what to respond to the question: "To what other colleges are you applying?". Would you please help me elaborating this issue? I mean, how many other colleges should I cite? schools that are similar (quality, environment...) or different to the one I am applying? Should I explain anything else?

Thanks a lot!

Undergraduate / Essay on personal experience to NUS [2]

[b]Topic: This section is an opportunity for you to elaborate on the information you have provided earlier. You may wish to discuss a special talent, a personal experience or an activity that you have been involved in that is of relevance to the course that you are applying for at the university.

As there is only limited space (2000 characters), you are encouraged to present your ideas in focused and thoughtful manner.

What people say is true: college life is a landmark of a person's life. To me, being a college girl has been an unparalleled experience since its first days.

It was a special day when I ran into a recruitment announcement for an event named Greeting Day. It was to welcome new students; therefore all freshmen were encouraged to sign up for various positions in the organizing team. Though I had scarcely played a leading role before, I thought I should give myself a chance. Therefore, I urged myself not to oversee such a once in a lifetime occasion.

The video plot which I first proposed received both extolment and criticism. It should convey the message of the new class of students: their commitment to bring a fresh and active addition to the campus. Thus, I had to make much effort to balance between different ideas and adding spicy humor to a serious content. In two weeks, I scrutinized the college campus for appropriate settings, and mobilized a volunteer group of actors.

As the day for filming got nearer, I felt a twist of excitement and anxiety. In fact, I had a few experiences of co-directing video clips at high school. They taught me that it was hard to organize a group of people even with long time mutual understanding. Then how tough it would be to assign proper tasks to those whose ability and characteristics remained unrevealed - my partners and I had never met in person!

On the interview day, there were many freshmen showing up, all of which were friendly and enthusiastic. A shudder ran across my backbone: What if I fail to meet their expectations? Confused as I may, I arranged intimate interviews with the candidates, testing their relevance for the roles. I chose some to play the protagonists and others the extras. The whole cast and crew soon turned into an attentive and comfortable working atmosphere.

The tension haunting me at first had languished and been supplanted by alacrity and determination. There were scenes that we filmed and re-filmed many times before totally satisfied. Both the actors and director worked as if we had been anticipating an Oscar prize, laughing heartily like we never had.

The Greeting Day has led to a big change in me. It was not so much the warm applause or thumb-ups that the audience gave me as the invaluable chance to raise my voice that has made me mature. It has also transformed me into a more social and confident college girl ever since.

Undergraduate / "Now you even brag in English" - ComApp short answer on Activity [7]

Is the content proper for the question?

Approximately 200 words. Is it too long? :( Should I cut anything?

Thanks for your feedback! :)

The most conspicuous disadvantage of living in a non-speaking English country is the few chances to apply what have been learnt into real life. Fortunately, one big chance came to me last summer: I attended some speaking sessions organized by volunteer students from the United States. We met three days a week at a cafe and participated in various activities: drama, game and group discussion.

At first, I was truly unconfident. I fear that people would ridicule my poor spoken English and felt shy because of the mere presence of many elder strangers. However, as soon as I stepped in, I sensed the warm air spreading through friendly welcomes and humorous jokes. Sensibility and brevity came back to me. I urged myself to talk, "Anyway, unless you try it, the chance will be zero". At the beginning, I spoke roughly and found it difficult to translate thoughts into speech in a foreign language. Gradually, I became accustomed to handling this sophisticated tool and words just jumped out of my tongue fluently and naturally.

A close friend of mine, joining these useful sessions after my recommendation, was surprised at how articulately I could use English. She told me one day, "Oh such a disaster! Now you even brag in English".

Undergraduate / [BYU] What to write in a brief biography? [6]

Hello EF,

I am confusing about what I should write in response to this question: Please write a brief biographical sketch about yourself (300w). Could you please suggest me some ideas? Should I write abt my special hobbies/philosophy or anything?

Really appreciate your help!

---

I was born on October 11, 1990 as T. to H. T and L. L of Hanoi, Vietnam. My family is of middle-class with four members. Since childhood, I have watched my parents working hard because neither family side was financially strong. They always instructed my sister and me to stand on our own feet and never give up our dreams: "Winners don't quit and quitters don't win!"

On reaching four, I was sent to kindergarten to the first time in life learn to do without the care of parents and get along with strangers. It was neither easy nor pleasant. When I was six, like many other peers, I went to receive my first official education in NBN elementary school. There, I took up a hobby, which then became one of my most important turning-points: I played chess. Far from just several prizes at regional level, chess brought me invaluable chances to develop myself in all aspects. During long-distance trips to national competitions, I learnt a great deal from my elder chess mates' independence and fair play, the essential sport spirit. Since the team was an Army Chess Club, I had to obey strict discipline and then largely benefited from the intense schedule: punctuality, rigorous working method.

Special chess achievements rendered me the admission ticket to a highly selective class specializing in Mathematics at TV secondary school. I, then, had the valuable opportunity to attend classes with dedicated and distinguished teachers and brilliant friends. The strong scientific basis has built up my methodical and critical thinking. When first introduced into official curriculum at grade eight, Chemistry immediately caught my attention. I joined the school's representative team to compete in the town and took chances to improve my Chemistry skills.

Pursuing my interest, I tried my best to be enrolled in a chemistry specialized class at Hanoi Amsterdam, or Ams, high school. This was an unparallel period. I could truly sense my own personal development through various events, both visible and intangible. I learnt to balance between schooling and extracurricular activities. Especially, it is Ams that first gave me the notion of studying abroad. This is the school where most boys and girls share the dream of receiving education in an internationally vibrant environment like the United States, but have different plans to realize it. Gradually, I am affected by their strong determination; at Ams it started as a trend, and then developed into an ambition.

After graduation, I took and passed the entrance exam to two of the most prestigious universities of Northern Vietnam: Foreign Trade University and National Economics University. However, I took a gap year and spent time on doing volunteer activities, joining Hanoi English Club to hold monthly discussions and taking up another foreign language: French.

Book Reports / Literature: "The luncheon" and "The escape" by W.S. Maugham [3]

I am doing lit assignment on the attitude of the author in the 2 short stories: "the luncheon" and "the escape", and language in "The luncheon". Could you please give me some ideas/related essays on this subject? Thanks a lot!

Two short stories by William Somerset Maugham, The escape and The luncheon, both describes grieving experience of men towards women. The narrator of the former recites how his friend, Roger Charing, tries to get rid of a woman, Ruth Barlow. The author of the later reflects his own experience with a woman using her well-laid traps to make him fulfill her luxurious demands. Since these events are anything but pleasant and memorable, the author expresses his severe criticism towards women.

The story begins with a funny anecdote, stating that "If a woman once made up her mind to marry a man, nothing but instant flight could save him." Faulkner describes marriage as "the inevitable loom menacingly before" men or "danger" that urges men to perform an "immediate action". This suggests his negative attitudes towards marriage and, more importantly, expresses the difference of men and women in love. Men are not marrying creatures while women usually expect to lead a love affair to marriage.

Ruth Barlow is characterized by a "gift": "a gift for pathos". Her sympathetic appearance, "splendid dark eyes and they were the most moving I ever saw, they seemed to be ever on the point of filling with tears", conspires with a pitiful background, "twice a widow", to render Ruth the vulnerability, which strips men off their usual sensibility.

Though appearing as naďve and harmless, Ruth is led to gradually reveal her true character. Despite the absolute sympathy Roger has towards her, the narrator perceive her as stupid, scheming and unemotional. Her cheating on the card game and overlooking to pay the money she lost expose her dishonesty and affected manners. Ruth is a dull and narrow-minded woman, as "she had never had any conversation." Faulkner's repetitive description about her eyes: "splendid dark eyes", "the most moving eyes", "big ad lovely eyes" makes an impression that other than the pathetic look, this woman is a hollow.

The turning-point of this story is when Roger, out of the blue, falls out of love with Ruth. His ingenious (and somewhat artificial) effort to run away from that "happy ending" contributes to unveil Ruth's fake personality. The seemingly endless hunt for a "suitable" house turns the adorably looking Ruth to a "silent and scornful" woman with "sullen" eyes. She finally gives up her "patience of an angel", breaks up with Roger and rushes herself into an instant marriage with "someone who is anxious to take care of me." This uncommon situation confirms the narrator's judgment on women as "fickle" at the beginning of this story.

Similarly, the other short story, The luncheon, expresses equal disdain of the author towards women. The narrator the story This woman immediately strikes the readers with her artifice: she knows how to present lavish praise to a young and inexperienced writer, inducing him to spare her a suspicious meeting. Considering that men always pay for the meals, her request to have a "little luncheon" at Foyot, a place for the elite's, indicates her rudeness.

The narrator's first impression about this woman was her "having more teeth, white and large even, than were necessary for any practical purpose, being talkative and "imposing rather than attractive" - neither favorable nor positive.

The woman says repeatedly that she prefers simple and light meals, "I never eat anything for luncheon." "I never eat more than one thing." "I never drink anything for luncheon." but turns out to have a very good appetite, especially for most expensive things. She comfortably consumes caviar, salmon, white wine, asparagus, ice-cream coffee, and a peach and talks in an exalted mood about art, literature and music. The narrator, on the other hand, eats only a "miserable little chop" while sketching out a plan in case he could not afford the bill. However, the woman is nonchalant and thoughtless enough to ignore that; she continues to rebuke him for "ruining your palate by all the meat you eat." Her impoliteness also reveals through her vulgar eating manner, "I watch the abandoned woman thrust them down her throat in large voluptuous mouthfuls...", and then reaches the top when she implies the narrator mean after "robbing" him with an excessively luxurious meal, sparing him so little to give the waiter an adequate tip.

Apart from ill-mannered, the woman is also unsophisticated. She responds to the narrator's ironical saying "I'll eat nothing for dinner tonight." with a loud laughter, thinking that he was "quite a humorist".

All by all, in various literary works, Faulkner built up a negative image of women: insipid and mercantile, through which he expressed his contempt and indifference for women.

Undergraduate / Recalling three years that have passed. Personal essay on volunteer experience! [8]

Plz help me to proofread and edit this essay.

Do I need to cut it short? It is > 1000w, but I hope to cut it to < 1000w.
Are the intro and conclusion paragraphs fit with the content?

Lots of thanks!

"Do you have anything to say to these amiable kids", the smiling MC asked me. Still dizzying by children waving their small hands and patrons' gentle nods all the way I got to the stage, I became almost speechless, uttering some confusing sentences. Still, it came back vividly in my mind every time the following warm applause from our little audience for the beautiful clip and its producers. Three years have passed, and I'm here to recall...

It was a rainy afternoon in May when I ran into an announcement about recruitment for a volunteer performance for the poor and homeless children at XYZ village. That program was held by Big Party Organization, or BPO, to celebrate the approaching International Children's Day. Everybody was encouraged to sign up for various positions and contribute both material and spiritual values to the show.

Hardly could I figure out what audacious ghost possessed my mind at that time. Scarcely had I played a leading role before; then why was I registering to take charge of such a huge part in the program: making a short video clip for the unlucky children? I thought it was the images of the poor orphans at XYZ village - innocent smiles, fragile souls, suffering a dearth of food, clothes, facility and, more importantly, parental love - that urged me a prompt attempt. Was there a more meaningful and worthwhile activity to dedicate my time and energy to?

Instantly, I started to work on the plot of the video. My ideas first generated both extolment and criticism. Thus, I carefully edited the script: simple scenario, unbiased language. I put much effort on balancing the diet, add adequate amount of spicy humor to serious content, and elaborating its overall theme. The short video should convey the message of the adolescence, showing our compassion and concern for the unfortunate children. The more I dug into the world of the orphans, the more I appreciated the beautiful life I'm lucky to have. Eventually, I won the assent of the steering committee and headed towards official filming.

Unfortunately, the incessant rain of early summer precluded BPO from meetings. Regardless, I rode my bicycle around the town, looking for appropriate settings. By the time the annoying rain started to cease, I had had mobilized a volunteer group of actors through BPO as well as picked up some of the most picturesque sights in accordance to the purpose. The day for filming was due.

I barely slept the previous night. A twist of excitement and anxiety crawled into my nerves and dominated all the senses. In fact, I had a few experiences of co-directing video clips at school. They taught me that it was already hard to organize a group of people with long time mutual understanding. Then how tough it would be to assign proper tasks to those whose ability and characteristics remained unrevealed - my partners and I had never met in person!

I woke up the next morning with an immediate threat of adrenaline running through my body. The heart pumped hastily before I could diagnose the cause. A glimpse through the open window calmed it down: the sky was clear and sun illuminated the wide scenes. "At least there is no rain or any sign that it will!" I assured myself.

As bright and serene as that morning, I got to the avenue to see about twenty freshmen turning up. To my amazement, they were all friendly and buoyant. A sudden shudder ran across my backbone: "What if I fail to meet their expectations? What if they laugh at my plot? What if I cannot balance the individualism and collective harmony?" Those intimidating "what if" upset my stomach, paving the way for nausea (at least I feared so).

Confused as I was, after a brief introduction, I arranged quick and intimate interviews with the candidates, testing their experience and relevance for the roles. [A] and [B], two students from a neighboring school, deeply impressed me with their sincerity and enthusiasm. Therefore, I chose them to play the protagonists while others would appear as extras. Right then, the whole cast and crew rushed into highly attentive but comfortable working atmosphere.

The tension that had been haunting me from the beginning gradually languished and was supplanted by hesitant alacrity and high-leveled determination. The team quickly caught the spirit of the video. I gradually perceive how common concerns connected strange and even largely different people; how the staff's zealous effort truly carried me off my feet. We applied our entire mind and strength to cover the heavy workload. There were shots that needed filming and re-filming many times until absolute satisfaction, clothes changing and details revising to take full advantage of the performers and sceneries. I remember running relentlessly around, shouting loudly to give directions to my actors. We worked as if we had been anticipating an Oscar prize.

The salty sweat and weariness sought in vain for a passage to suppress the inspiring euphoria waving inside my soul. Laughter echoed endlessly in the open air, and grin spread across every single face. [C], my cameraman, blinked to me cheerfully at the end of the day, "The kids must be fancying this clip!"

It was late when I reached home that evening. Yet, not until later was I conscious that it would take time for my voice to return and my feet to recover. Only a sweet stream of thorough pride and satisfaction followed me to sound sleep.

"The best way to pursue happiness is to help other people," George Lucas, the popular founder of Lucasfilm, once said. "Because there's nothing else that will make you happier." I was not sure if I had actually done something for the hapless children; however, there was no doubt that the kids' radiant faces, more than the Chinese doll I received from my parents or the large bag of candy my sister presented me (pretty childish now that I am looking back), truly brightened that special June 1st of mine. Next time, when offered a chance to navigate even a huge ship, I would willingly take along my little ability and great enthusiasm, step out of the house and heartily enjoy the secret of luck.

Most good luck comes through other people!

Undergraduate / Short answers to Hendrix College [4]

What single factor most influenced you in your decision to apply to Hendrix College? (340 characters)

Hendrix College is one of 40 honored members listed in "Colleges that change lives" by Loren Pope. I have found in this book many interesting and impressive comments about the school in all aspects. Applying to Hendrix, I hope to have an unparalleled experience that will equip me with comprehensive knowledge, activeness and adaptability to succeed in the future. (304c, anything to add?)

Tell us what appeals to you most about Hendrix: (500 characters)

Researching about Hendrix College, I am attracted by the school's progressive climate. Both its curriculum and campus activities are designed to promote rich diversity in culture, intellect and linguistic traditions. Without fraternity or sonority, Hendrix encourages all students to join social activities, sponsored by more than 70 organizations. Students of all races, with different tastes and intentions will have a chance to interact in the same dormitories and events. This perfectly suits my desire to experience a diversified life, meet people from the world over and study their culture. (509c, plz help me cut it short)

Thanks a lot!

P/S: Happy New Year everyone! :x