Undergraduate / 'favorite pair of shoes' - Connecticut College Supplement- Community [7]

Prompt: What does "community" mean to you? (250 words)

That favorite pair of shoes that you've worn for years, the one that has supported you through the rainy days, and the one that you never want to throw out, reminds me of the intimate levels of connections I have for my community. That pair of shoe is a necessity for many, like the way a community is for me. Without my shoes, I feel incomplete and unsure, and just like that, without a community I lose the sense of place, belonging, and support. My community's guidance and care incorporates into many of my experiences and journeys in life, from the moment I fall from stepping in a pothole, to the point I learn to walk around the hole. A shoe without a perfect fit is like an incongruous society, where it'll always be hard to fit in. The sole of my shoe supports and carries me through the mud, the cold, and the everyday frantic dashes to the bus. Likewise, the people in my community hold me up with their love and care. The sole effortlessly molds onto the arches of my feet, akin to the way my community shapes and sculpts my perspectives. People have their own taste in shoes, and similarly they have their picks on a community. I take pride in my favorite pair of shoes; they help me stand out from others, create a sense of individuality. My community defines me, as an entity. With the love and support a community provides, I can confidently step on and confront the erratic ways of the world.

Please help me guys. I want to make the connection clear and strong so the reader sees it as easily as I do.

Thanks

Undergraduate / 'Sarajevo, Jakarta, Thailand, Nepal' - Skidmore College Diversity Answer [3]

Prompt: Skidmore College is committed to creating and supporting a diverse and inclusive community. Please share a personal experience from which you gained a greater understanding of the value of diversity OR describe what you are seeking in a diverse campus community.

The old Ottoman town of Sarajevo, the Morning Prayer calls in Jakarta, the fast language of Thailand, and the countless temples in Nepal arouse my sense of pride. Through my father's involvement in the UN, I have lived in four countries, each one distinctive from the other. I have been able to experience and learn from these diverse cultures, discover different worlds, and new outlooks on life. Also, studying in international schools has taught me of the idiosyncratic nature of people, and the necessity to embrace these quirks. I have realized that our differences- the varied ways we approach life, our individual perspectives, and experiences- is the most endearing aspect of our human race.

please give me some feedback and how to edit it.