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Posts by jebhogiaye
Joined: Dec 26, 2011
Last Post: Dec 29, 2011
Threads: 6
Posts: 14  
From: United States of America

Displayed posts: 20
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jebhogiaye   
Dec 26, 2011
Undergraduate / Linear Reasoning in Math Competition [4]

The hushed buzz of competing schools discussing possible solutions to the problem floods my eardrums as I attempt to concentrate on reading the question. As I discuss the ways to solve the problem with my teammates, Edward, who reminds me of suggests in a trembling voice that we solve the problem using trial and error, but I know that there is a better way to solve the problem. The ticking of the clock pounds in my eardrums as time winds down. We have exhausted too much time on this problem, and we are dreading to hear the bell that signals the end of the round since we have spent so much time on this question. As I sort through the problem using the solution method that my teammate who reminds me of a character from Mean Girls, my senses are suddenly enhanced: I can hear the conversations of other teams, feel the hexagonal ridges of my yellow pencil, and smell the sweat of me and my teammates. This problem caused a crisis for the team, and the general outlook on the competition of team members was bleak.

Mathematics is my favorite subject because of its focus on thought processes and problem solving techniques. Since I am a composed and explicit person, I enjoy the challenge of questions with unequivocal answers. My character's orderly side draws me enthusiastically towards precise solutions; my creativity gives rise to my acceptance of new ideas. All questions have definite answers; we just need to construct ways of reaching them. Linear reasoning is my preferred method of solving problems because the systematic sequence of formulas can be applied to many situations. It was through practice problem solving for the math team that I learned how to think linearly and efficiently, and I have relied on linear reasoning for most mathematical quandaries. For that reason, my specialty in competitions is the set of logic problems in which linear reasoning can be applied.

During math competitions, I usually revert to linear reasoning and provide a unique perspective on the problems, but I am always open to different viewpoints and methods of solving the problems. To solve this problem, I utilized a method I had learned in math class. For this particular problem, linear reasoning cannot be applied, but I took heed of Edward's suggestion and solved the problem using a technique we had learned while in a math team meeting. I love my math team because I am able to explore my interest in systematic reasoning and problem solving.
jebhogiaye   
Dec 26, 2011
Undergraduate / a memorable moment -- UIUC essay: some interest or experience of you [3]

"Hey, look at your post-it note; it fell off the wall again!"
"I like the smiles that appear on the people who I helped. These smiles make what I have done meaningful."
"I have tried everything I could to make that kind of smile reappear on other people's faces.
"Seeing the covers of some tumblers with hot water jacked up by the hot steam inside and hurt people, I invented a new cup to solve it." "jacked up" is slang. Use other words.

"for me ." is not necessary at the end of the essay
Please edit my essays!
jebhogiaye   
Dec 26, 2011
Undergraduate / 'leave one's comfort zone of friends, home' -Transfer (Cornell, UNC, Vanderbilt, NYU) [2]

"I have always thus felt that it was my duty to try my hardest to find a university that I fit into academically and socially."

"I went to high school in Manhattan to see the fun and exciting opportunities it presented, and I have travelled extensively through Europe and Asia eager to experience cultures different from my own." Pronoun reference, add the comma
jebhogiaye   
Dec 27, 2011
Undergraduate / Cornell "I like money" [4]

Describe your intellectual interests, their evolution, and what makes them exciting to you. Tell us how you will utilize the academic programs in the College of Arts and Sciences to further explore your interests, intended major, or field of study.

I like making money. For a long time, I believed that business was right for me because my father is an entrepreneur, and his job seemed intriguing because he deals with money. My interest in entrepreneurship grew, and I read multiple books about successful entrepreneurs including Truett Cathy, Warren Buffet, Steve Jobs, and Bill Gates. I aspired to become an entrepreneur like them.

It was after I took an economics class that I discovered the broader subject of economics and my interest was developed. From the outset, I was captivated by economic processes such as price changes, wage differences, and profit margins. Wage differences, for example, are determined by the economic concept of supply. This was astounding because I was unaware that such mundane factors are determined by economics. I came to the realization that economics is virtually ubiquitous. Individuals make choices many times a day that are influenced by economics. For example, the idea of opportunity costs affects my decision to stay awake a few more hours and study for a test rather than sleeping and being rested the next morning when I take the test. My realization of the near universality of economics and my passion for making money made economics my favorite academic class.

I have only taken a semester long economics class, so I would like to learn more about economics and the specific field of economics that I am interested in. And there is so much more to learn in the field of mathematics, so college should prove an enlightening experience. I am also very passionate about math. My propensity for mathematics stems for my interest in problem solving. I find problem solving very interesting to the point that it is fun. I think that combining math and economics would make a great major.

Studying economics at Cornell would be ideal for me because of the broad range of courses available to me. Because I would have two years to choose my major, I can explore the bountiful opportunities available at Cornell like the Special Academic Programs and even different interests like Mathematics and Africana Studies. I could even choose to double major. The fact that I can explore for two years before choosing my major is a boon. I like that each academic adviser advises an average of twelve students, so they can focus their time on ensuring that I make the right decisions. I plan to take advantage of all of the programs made available to me at Cornell to further explore my interests.
jebhogiaye   
Dec 28, 2011
Undergraduate / "I learned patience, perseverance, and dedication" Princeton [3]

Using a favorite quotation from an essay or book you have read in the last three years as a starting point, tell us about an event or experience that helped you define one of your values or changed how you approach the world. Please write the quotation at the beginning of your essay.

"I learned patience, perseverance, and dedication. Now I really know myself, and I know my voice. It's a voice of pain and victory."- Anthony Hamilton: his life and works and his family by Ruth Clark

Anthony Hamilton's childhood was full of poverty and privation, but he lived an accomplished life. After I became very sick, it was my "patience, perseverance, and dedication" that helped me overcome and better my situation. Like Anthony Hamilton, I triumphed over challenges to a place of success.

One night, about four and a half years ago, I stopped breathing while I was sleeping, and my mom could not wake me up. Due to my unresponsiveness, my mom called an ambulance, and I was rushed to a hospital. The doctors diagnosed me with respiratory arrest, and I was hospitalized for five weeks. I lost the ability to perform basic functions such as speaking and walking as a result of the stroke and had to learn how to speak and walk all over again. I had excellent physical therapists working with me everyday who helped me regain my speech and motion.

I missed almost two months of school because of this episode, and had copious amounts of makeup work to complete. My parents as well as the social worker at the hospital, Ms. Fleenor, were worried that catching up was too daunting a task for me to accomplish. But, with the help of my teachers and my encouraging family, I promptly caught up. My teachers were astonished by the miraculous progress I made in such a short period of time. I had spent countless hours studying and working diligently with my teachers to learn the lessons I missed while in hospital.

I really enjoy playing the clarinet and being a part of the school band program. One of my goals before I fell ill was to be selected to be in the district honor band. My honor band audition was to be held a month after I re-entered school, and I had not played my clarinet since I became ill. It was very difficult to begin playing after not playing for so long, and making the honor band seemed like an impractical task. However, I worked assiduously with my private teacher, Mr. Sid, and made the district honor band. Since then, I have not had any complications associated with the stroke.

My passion for the clarinet and the school band program has not waned. My parents have tried to dissuade me from continuing with the band program because of the demanding schedule and reduced time it allowed me for the rest of my academics, but I was determined to continue and excel as well as in my other academic pursuits.

I auditioned and was chosen to become drum major of the award winning school marching band. This has been an enriching experience for me because I have learned so much about leadership from the audition process. I have been able to influence the rest of the band because of my position and my emphasis on leading by example. Apart from teaching new members how to march, I have also been able to improve my public speaking ability through the experience of giving speeches at the band meetings before Friday night football games.
jebhogiaye   
Dec 28, 2011
Undergraduate / 'The Mistress of Spices' - common app essay on any topis [3]

Every spice has its own unique sizzle just as there (their?) strong and distinguishable flavor.

A magical figure that runs a grocery store and use spices to help the customers overcome difficulties.

This is a run-on.
jebhogiaye   
Dec 28, 2011
Undergraduate / 'my brief nap abruptly comes to an end' - Yale supplemental essay [18]

It really does not say anything about you personally. I like the anecdote, but try to focus on what working at the restaurant reveals about your personality. It seems like you were driven by your father to do everything and that it was not by your own choice. I think this essay would be better if you talked about your own decisions. But I like your prose. Please look at my essay.
jebhogiaye   
Dec 29, 2011
Undergraduate / NYU Supplement- What intrigues you? Kenyan People [5]

I would also watch the spelling "resiliance" -> resilience and "refuegges" -> refugees
I think this is a great essay because it answers the question well and covers something that is truly meaningful
jebhogiaye   
Dec 29, 2011
Undergraduate / Common App Topic of your choice "Frankenstein" [5]

Frankenstein starts at the point (0; 0; 0) and walks to the point (3; 3; 3). At each step he walks either one unit in the positive x-direction, one unit in the positive y-direction, or one unit in the positive z-direction. How many distinct paths can Frankenstein take to reach his destination?

The hushed buzz of competing schools discussing possible solutions to the problem floods my eardrums as I attempt to concentrate on reading the question. Why Frankenstein does want to know how many ways he can arrive at his destination? He can only take one route. As I discuss the ways to solve the problem with my teammates, Edward, who reminds me of a character from Mean Girls, suggests in a trembling voice that we solve the problem using trial and error. I know, however, that trial and error would take too much time and that there is a better way to solve the problem. The ticking of the clock pounds in my eardrums as time winds down. We have exhausted too much time on this problem, and we are dreading hearing the bell that signals the end of the round, since we have spent so much time on this question. As I sort through the problem using the solution method that Edward suggested, my senses are suddenly enhanced: I can hear the conversations of other teams, feel the hexagonal ridges of my yellow pencil, and smell the sweat of me and my teammates. This problem caused a crisis for the team, and the general outlook on the competition of team members was bleak.

Mathematics is my favorite subject because of its focus on thought processes and problem solving techniques. Since I am a composed and explicit person, I enjoy the challenge of questions with unequivocal answers. My character's orderly side draws me enthusiastically towards precise solutions; my creativity gives rise to my acceptance of new ideas. All questions have definite answers; we just need to construct ways of reaching them. Linear reasoning is my preferred method of solving problems because the systematic sequence of formulas can be applied to many situations. It was through practice problem solving for the math team that I learned how to think linearly and efficiently, and I have relied on linear reasoning for most

mathematical quandaries. For that reason, my specialty in competitions is the set of logic problems in which linear reasoning can be applied.
During math competitions, I usually revert to linear reasoning and provide a unique perspective on the questions, but I am always open to different viewpoints and methods of solving them. To solve this problem, I utilized a method I had learned in math class. Linear reasoning could not be applied here, but I took heed of Edward's suggestion and solved the problem using a technique we had learned while in a math team meeting. I love math team because I am able to explore my interest in systematic reasoning and problem solving.

Any suggestion is appreciated. Also, I wanted to include the solution to the problem, but I ran out of space in the 500 character limit. Is it necessary to include that or even the problem?
jebhogiaye   
Dec 29, 2011
Faq, Help / Otherwise, a small fee (starting at $5 per thread) explain this [8]

You are only allowed to have two threads open at a time. You can close a thread that you don't need responses to and purchase credits to permanently remove any thread. I don't think the system allows you to close threads when you are under the two thread limit, but you can close the threads on posts that you believe don't need help on. There is a difference between closing a thread and removing it, if that makes sense.
jebhogiaye   
Dec 29, 2011
Undergraduate / CommonApp ExtraCurricular Essay "Bringing a community together" [2]

Bringing a community together and enriching others is what I had in mind when I established African Culture Club at my high school. With the help of three of my friends, the idea of introducing foreign cultures to our classmates became reality. Through African Culture Club, we raised awareness of multiple African cultures by introducing local food, clothing and traditions. The creation of the club also created a sense of community and pride which became highly evident at our club meetings. What had started off as just an idea, became the medium for students to appreciate richness of the African cultures. The fact that this club will continue after I am gone is a source of satisfaction.

All comments are appreciated!
jebhogiaye   
Dec 29, 2011
Undergraduate / Realizing what I am doing [4]

I was always interested in the Red Cross but I always thought of it as a very medical medically oriented

which is something that ishas been very dear to me since I was little.

This an effective essay.
jebhogiaye   
Dec 29, 2011
Undergraduate / "History did condemn those who kept quiet" - Princeton University [7]

This is a very strong essay. I think that if you relate the quote to your conclusion at the end of the story, it would be better. But that is only an opinion. The essay is so strong that there is not much to correct.

My career aspirations changed slightly at a university's information session; one of several seminars I attended as part of a research program I participated in during the summer.

I am not sure, but I think a semicolon is used to separate two independent clauses, and the second part is a run-on in that case.

Please look at my essays!
jebhogiaye   
Dec 29, 2011
Undergraduate / Penn "I love solving problems" [3]

I love solving problems. Hopefully the College of Arts and Sciences at Penn will enhance my problem solving skills. Its emphasis on classical studies would give me the tools to analyze a situation, not just follow a formula to find an answer. The freedom to study at virtually any of the various schools, whether graduate or undergraduate is very attractive because I would learn the different ways to approach problems through studying various subjects.

I am applying to the College of Arts and Sciences because of the various opportunities to explore my interests. I hope to major in economics and mathematics and use my problem solving skills to contribute to society in the future. I recently discovered my connection to a small Nigerian village, Ohordua, and I am interested in studying the economic system there and in other developing areas to solve problems that they may face. For that reason, I am very interested in developmental economics. My goal in attending Penn is to develop the problem solving skills to serve as a practical developmental economist, advising developing countries on how to solve their problems. I am also interested in business, music and African studies. I want to major in economics or mathematics, but the fact that I can study subjects that are not related to my major is appealing.

I hope to grow as an active member of the Penn community which would hopefully translate to making an impact on the world community. I have been a very active and enthusiastic member of my high school's Model UN team, and I would like to participate at the collegiate level. One of my favorite hobbies is playing the clarinet. I have participated enthusiastically. I was first chair in the marching band and second chair in the Symphonic Orchestra and Wind Ensemble. Since I have been a very involved member of the marching band at my high school, even becoming the drum major of the band, I would love to continue to participate in any musical ensembles, especially the University of Pennsylvania Band and Penn Wind Ensemble. My interests include participating in various community service opportunities because that is an enjoyable way to serve the community. I would embrace any chance to offer my talents to better the community or become involved in an interest.

If I attend Penn, I plan to critically engage the course material and develop skills for a lifetime of success. The College of Arts and Sciences and its interdisciplinary approach should suit me well because of my multivariate interests and emphasis on problem solving. I am at an early stage in the learning process, so I don't know everything about what I want to study, but I express an honest interest and am willing to learn and work hard. Attending Penn will help me reach my goal of becoming a practical developmental economist and contributing to the Penn community through my participation in the extracurricular activities availableAny help is appreciated.
jebhogiaye   
Dec 29, 2011
Undergraduate / 'Split South Africa' - CommonApp (Diversity Encounter/Experience) [3]

I'm a drum major at Walton, and I was born in South Africa!
"unify a large, extremely diverse group with a single common passion" I would reword this because it is a little redundant: unify a large, extremely diverse group with a common goal.

"Instead of going to my districted high school, I elected to go to Wheeler." This is not necessary and can be deleted
"Every day though, it always surprises me how much I have come to value it and how much I have grown as a result of it."
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