Writing Feedback / More houses are needed in many countries to cope with increasing populations. [8]

Hi all,

I am practicing IELTS test. Appreciate it if you could correct my essay and give some suggestions.
-Thanks

More houses are needed in many countries to cope with increasing populations. Would it be better to build houses in existing towns and cities, or to develop new towns in rural areas?

There no doubt that over population has been a major concern in many countries. The trend is that many people are relocating to cities for better job opportunities and better life. As such, some people assert that it is wise to build more houses and apartments in the cities to accommodate everyone. In my view, it is better to develop new town in rural areas for better job opportunities and development.

The plausible reason why some people disaccord with this view is mainly because more space is needed to accommodate new migrants in urban areas. When these people migrate to cities it would be extremely difficult to find a place to stay as the place is already congested with existing people. In order to avoid this, more apartments and houses should be built in order to provide accommodation to the new ones.

The counter argument is that it would be wise to develop new towns in rural areas instead of building more houses. The reason is that building more towns in regional areas benefit the people by increasing the chance of new employment opportunities and develop new businesses. Evidently, a community is formed which widens the scope of economic development in these areas Apart from this, the congestion and the problem of over population in the cities can be avoided to a certain extent.

If we look at both sides of the argument, developing new town in rural regions have more positive outcome rather than building more houses and apartments in the existing developed cities. It is hoped that more people will migrate to rural regions and increase the scope of development

Writing Feedback / 'adequate rest and sleep are essential' - IELTS- Writing task 2 [5]

Some people think that it is important to use leisure time for activities that improve the mind, such as reading and doing word puzzles.
 Other people feel that it is important to rest the mind during leisure time.

Leisure time is essential to relieve stress and tiredness. Some people believe that everyone should spent their free time by reading books or magazines and solving puzzles in order to improve their knowledge and IQ. However, I do not concur with this view, as it is essential for everyone to take rest during our busy life.

The reason why I disaccord with the idea of doing activities during leisure time is for our own health and safety. Since health and safety comes first before anything, prolonged use of body and mind without rest will result in headaches and dizziness. For instance, At work, if a person uses the laptop for 24 hours without any break, he or she may suffer from headache or may create eyesight problems because of radiation. That is why every person should get enough rest during his or her busy life.

Obviously, no human being will be able to work continuously for a very long time as the body becomes exhausted and he or she won't be in a position to carry out any tasks. With the absence of free time, the person does not have the capacity to think and take decision. Consequently, this will affect his or her efficiency.

In a nutshell, adequate rest and sleep are essential ingredients to revive our body and mind. Despite, the fact that reading novels or solving puzzles may improve the knowledge and mind, it is not worthwhile to sacrifices our health.

Writing Feedback / In the past, buildings often reflected the culture of a society- IELTS [6]

In the past, buildings often reflected the culture of a society but today all modern buildings look alike and cities throughout the world are becoming more and more similar.

What do you think is the reason for this, and is it a good thing or a bad thing?

There are instances in the past where buildings often reflect the culture of a society. However, in the modern world, these architectural structures look alike and is hard to distinguish cities from different part of the world. It is felt that trend is a good things. Looking at scarce resources and will be analysed for viability.

For one, it is a fact that in the globalised world, land has become more expensive and a valuable resource than previous decades. Take Sydney, for example. There has been a huge increase in the construction of tall buildings in nuke and corner of the city for the past few years. This uprise clearly shows that land is a valuable resource and should be utilised wisely. Therefore, it has become hard to recognise cities like Sydney, Berlin etc. where land is scarce and valuable resource.

Although, changes are inevitable and one cannot stand in the way of technological advancement in the modern world ,cities should keep some individuality and cultural heritage. For instance, in Paris , it is prohibited to construct tall in the heart of the city as this will spoil the skyline view. This rule clearly not only prevents constructing tall buildings in the city, but also encourage architectures to design unique structures .This points out that cities can take steps to reflect their cultural values by designing that is unique from buildings in other cities.

In brief, it is regrettable that cities are alike, one could take measures to design unique structures that help to maintain its cultural values. It is hoped that, more buildings will be designed in a unique way that it recognisable from buildings in other cities.

Writing Feedback / Going overseas for university study is an exciting prospect for many people. -IELTS [7]

Going overseas for university study is an exciting prospect for many people. But while it may offer some advantages, it is probably better to stay home because of the difficulties a student inevitably encounters living and studying in a different culture.

To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Today, in the modern many students go overseas for higher education. Although, this offers students many advantages, they encounter many challenges of living and studying in a developed country. It is thus agreed that for the safety of every students they should continue education at home country. Analysing both the financial difficulties of living and studying abroad as well as inability to master different methods of studying will prove this.

To begin with, It is probable that many international students have to face the unbearable living and studying expenses in order to survive. For instance, a survey conducted by the Daily Telegraph revealed that many international students have to work part time in order to bear the cost of living and studying in Australia. This example clearly shows that unless international students work part time jobs, they are unable to bear the cost of living and studying in Australia. Thus, to save them from financial loss, it is better to continue higher education in their home country.

In addition to this, it is commonly understood that the method of learning in each countries are different. For example, if a student wishes to study in UK, he or she have to master English language which is not the student's mother tongue. As such, students are required not only to read and write in English but also to take presentation in English . Therefore, students cannot adapt to the new system of learning in an English speaking country.

In summary, the unbearable financial cost and the requirement of mastering English language makes it improbable for international students to study in a developed country. Therefore, for the best of everyone students should stay at home.

Writing Feedback / Many people believe that women make better parents than men - IELTS [3]

Many people believe that women make better parents than men and that this is why they have the greater role in raising children in most societies. Others claim that men are just as good as women at parenting. Write an essay expressing your point of view.

Throughout the history women has proven to be a better parent in raising a child. However, this does not eliminate the fact that fathers role is not equally important as women. It seems to me women make better parent than men in raising their children. This will be proven by looking at ability of the women to be patient and good communicator than men.

For one, it is felt than women tend to be patient and less aggressive than men. For example, by look at the history of war and crime it is evident that men are proven to be more aggressive than women. Apparently, when raising a child, parents are encouraged to undertake gentle manner as this will have positive influence on them. Thus, it is evident that women are less aggressive and gentle than men

In addition to the above, it is a common fact that women posses the quality of good communication and intelligence. For instance, studies from UK revealed, there is a greater dominance by female candidates who tend to outperform the male candidates in aptitude and communication test. It is evident from this example that women are proven to be an excellent communicator and intelligent than men, when it comes to looking after the children. Therefore, through proper communication and understanding , mother plays a greater role influencing a child.

In summary, it can be concluded that the quality of a women being less aggressive and good communicator makes it a better parent, despite men's role in rearing a child are equally important as women.

Writing Feedback / Until what age people should be encouraged to remain in paid employment? IELTS [4]

In some countries the average worker is obliged to retire at the age of 50, while in others people can work until they are 65 or 70. Meanwhile, we see some politicians enjoying power well into their eighties. Clearly, there is little agreement on an appropriate retirement age.Until what age do you think people should be encouraged to remain in paid employment?

Give reasons for your answer.
it is commonly understood that age requirement for an employee to retire varies from different countries and the type of work he or she undertake. Although, the average person may retire between the age of 50-65, some people enjoy their work into their eighties. I firmly believe that healthy employees should be allowed to remain in paid work as much as they are able to carry out their duties. Support for this opinion will be shown by analysing the type of work people perform and the fitness of an employee.

To begin with, it is felt that retirement age should be set based on the type of work one perform. Take mining jobs for example. it is commonly understood that jobs like mining, pilot etc require high attention to detail and physical ability to perform the work. It is obvious that a person in seventies with health problems will not be able to work in these environment as compared jobs in administration and community service. Therefore, retirement age should be determined based on the importance of work

In addition to the above, peoples suitability for a job should be agreed upon the performance. For instance, work performance record is a useful tool to assess the performance of an employee. If the record shows that performance of an employee has not weakened, he or she should be allowed to stay. This clearly points out fact that workers suitability for the job should be reflected on their performance. As such, people should be encouraged to work as long as they stay fit and healthy.

As the above, proves that age is not an important factor to determine whether a worker should allowed to stay on work. It is hoped that more people will choose to stay on work instead of retiring at an early age.

Writing Feedback / 'Telecommuting' refers to workers doing their jobs from home- IELTS [4]

'Telecommuting' refers to workers doing their jobs from home for part of each week and communicating with their office using computer technology. Telecommuting is growing in many countries and is expected to be common for most office workers in the coming decades.

How do you think society will be affected by the growth of telecommuting?
These days there has been a significant increase in number of people working from home and use computers to communicate with their office. If this trend continues to rise, there will be a far reaching effects in the modern society. The changes in corporate work structure and the urban life as a result of telecommuting will be analysed for feasibility.

Although, companies and government agencies can save cost by implementing the idea of telecommuting, the employees loyalty towards work will be questionable. For instance, when the number of people show up for work is lessened due to telecommuting, many empty desks can be expected in the office. As a result, offices grow smaller and employees come in for work have to share desk with their colleagues which in turn affect the social atmosphere and morality of the employees in the company. Thus, it is clear that employees loyalty will be affected if more people start to work at home.

In addition to the above, it is felt that the urban life is likely to be affected because of telecommuting. For example, it is obvious that when more people gravitate towards the idea of working at home, fewer cars will be seen on cities . This example illustrates the fact that people will have less reason to travel to city center and other nearby areas. Therefore , shopping centers and other business outlets have to relocate out of the city.

Despite working at home offer benefits to workers in number of ways, the negative ramification on changes in work environment and city life should be taken into consideration. It is predicted that the concept of telecommuting will be implemented on a case-by- case basis.

Writing Feedback / Possible ways to encourage the use of public transport to reduce traffic - IELTS [5]

The rising levels of congestion and air pollution found in most of the world's cities can be attributed directly to the rapidly increasing number of private cars in use. In order to reverse this decline in the quality of life in cities, attempts must be made to encourage people to use their cars less and public transport more.Discuss possible ways to encourage the use of public transport.

With globalisation and modern technology encroaching on every corner of the world, it is a well known fact that air pollution and congestion is increasing at an alarming pace. Among the suggestions on how to tackle this problem is encouraging the use of public transportation. This essay will analyse the strategies to encourage public to use trains and buses to commute to work.

To begin with, it is felt that one way to stimulate the use of public transportation is making the use of private cars expensive. For instance, tolls have been introduced successfully in various parts of cities around the world. This example, clearly illustrates the fact that use of private cars on highways are expensive as compared to using the public transportation. Thus, introducing tolls and other taxes on using private car is a good strategy to deter the use people from using private vehicles.

In addition to this, limiting the number of parking permits in urban areas help to dissuade people from using their private vehicles. Take Sydney Metro for instance. Last year, studies revealed that the city experienced sudden decrease in traffic due to 30% hike in price for the parking permits. This clearly illustrate the fact that, increase in price made it inconvenient for the people to use their private cars to travel to cities. Therefore, a price increase in parking permits is a good way to curb the congestion and encourage using public transportation

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Following the look, it is clear that by increasing the cost of using the private vehicle is an effective strategy to encourage people using public transportation. Thus, this will help to lessen congestion and air pollution to a certain extent.