Undergraduate / "The Dam" - Stanford CommonApp Essay #1 [6]

Hey, I'm not the best essayist in the world, but it would be great if somebody would care to read over my essay (:

Stanford students possess an intellectual vitality. Reflect on an idea or experience that has been important to your intellectual development. (2000 characters)

A few years ago, my father was a student at the University of Michigan campus in Flint, MI. The campus was not big, but he loved to get out and walk it every chance the he got. To get from one side of the campus to the other, he had to cross a partially-working dam that nobody ever gave too much thought to. One day he noticed what he thought was tufts of seaweed that had washed up along the bottom edge of the dam. But when my father went down to investigate, he discovered that what he thought was seaweed was actually years of built-up leaves, sticks, and garbage that extended the entire length of the dam.

Upon seeing this, my father was appalled and, with the help of my Boy Scout troop, set up a cleaning effort to get rid of all of the waste engulfing the dam. When I arrived at the dam, the scene was just as bad as my father had described: hypodermic needles littering the bank of the river, cups and wrappers strewn about in the water, and the stench of death throughout. We spent the rest of the day wading through what I could only assume to be biochemical waste picking up, raking, and disposing of the toxic materials we found. More than once, I saw clusters of dead fish that had been preserved within the garbage buildup float off down the river.

After a full day's work, we were finally able to get rid of all of the garbage that had built-up around the dam. The whole experience disgusted me greatly. Seeing what human carelessness could do to an environment and the creatures in it showed me that we have to do something to preserve the environment that we share with other creatures. After the clean-up, I began to make my family recycle everything instead of just throwing it away and encouraged other families to do the same. I want to become an engineer so that I can use my knowledge to stop the degradation of our environments through more efficient forms of recycling as well as cleaner forms of energy.

Undergraduate / "MY STUFF" - Stanford CommonApp Essay #2 [3]

Hey guys, here's another essay for the common app. I liked this one more than the first one, and I feel like I did it a lot better.

Virtually all of Stanford's undergraduates live on campus. Write a note to your future roommate that reveals something about you or that will help your roommate - and us - know you better.

Dear Roommate,
The first and probably most important thing to know about me is that even though I may seem like a messy person, everything that I own has its place. Where my stuff is placed is where I need it most, which is how I am able to keep myself efficient. With that being said, PLEASE RESPECT MY STUFF. I don't mind at all if you use my things; what's mine is yours. All that I ask of you is to either put it back how you found it or just ask me. I can't tell you how many times I've had this problem back at home with my sisters. They take my brush, leave it somewhere, and then it's 7 AM and I have to go to school with hair that looks like an animal's nest because I have no idea where the brush is. So please, the one thing that I ask of you is to just respect my things.

Besides that, my name is Tanner and I think of myself as a pretty nice guy. I'm a little shy at first (I'm the guy that stands off to the sides awkwardly at dances), but once I get used to you I promise you that you'll enjoy having me around. I can also promise you that you will never be bored when I'm around, either. I always love to try new things! Because I am prone to frequent cabin fever, don't expect me to just sit in the room and do nothing. I love sports and being active outside, so try and get used to an active lifestyle! Football, basketball, cycling, and fishing are just a few of my favorite things to do. I also love very much to cook for people! But that doesn't mean that those are the only things I enjoy doing. I am also a HUGE fan of video games. My friends and I back home would play for hours on end on the Xbox 360. Maybe even all of us could play together, if you're up for it!

I hope this little note gives you a good idea of who I am. But if you want to know more about me, just spend time with me! I'm sure that we will become great friends from our time spent together!

Your future roomie,
Tanner Jones

Undergraduate / "Innocence" - Stanford CommonApp Essay #3 [3]

This essay I felt was the hardest to write, as there was no central point that was identified by the prompt. I'm not sure if I did this essay correctly, but I did it how I thought I could answer it best. If you have any thoughts, please don't hesitate to tell me - I need all the help available for this one. Also I have about 400 characters left, so if you think I should add anything more please let me know.

What matters to you, and why?

As a Catechist Aide at the Holy Rosary Catholic Church, I work with children a great deal. I teach them what I know, I help them when they are struggling, and I try to show them what it means to be a good Catholic. This is not the only reason that I teach the class, though. What I really want is for them to teach me how to become like them.

"And he said: 'I tell you the truth, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of Heaven.'" (Matthew 18:3). Jesus tells us that in order to join him in Heaven, we must rid ourselves of sin and assume the innocence that we had when we were very young. Today, I see many people straying from this path and moving away from God, and it saddens me greatly. I've had to watch some of my own friends go through drug abuse and other things that really hurt them. The worst part is that they refuse to accept any help because they don't want to see what they're doing as wrong or bad for them.

What matters to me the most? Innocence. I believe that a move towards innocence is one of the most important steps forward that we, as a race, can take. Just imagine a world where we all move away from sin and mimic the morality of our children. There would be no war, no violence, and the people of the world could be at peace with one another. This is what I, as a person, want to move towards and is why I spend my time with the little children. I want to morally and spiritually become like them, so that I may spread peace and love to all those around me and eventually be able to spend time with my savior in Heaven.

Undergraduate / 'knowledge and wisdom / Ordinary people / Catholic student' - Notre Dame Supplements [3]

The University of Notre Dame is my dream school and I want to go there more than any other college! Could somebody please read over my supplements and give me advice? I want to make sure that these are as good as I can get them so that I can increase my chances of acceptance as much as I can!

1. In your opinion, what is the difference between intelligence and wisdom? You may cite a historical or fictional example, or offer an illustration from your own experience.

In my opinion, there is a big difference between knowledge and wisdom. Knowledge is the ability for a person to learn new things, while wisdom is the ability of being able to apply learned things to make decisions in life. A person can have a lot of knowledge but not a lot of wisdom and vice-versa. As a small child, my mother would always tell me that I should never stick my finger into the electrical outlet or else I would get shocked. One day, curiosity got the best of me and I stuck my finger in it and got shocked. I had knowledge that that would happen, but I didn't have the wisdom to not do it. It took getting a shock to realize that the outlet would shock me. Knowledge comes from things like books and our mothers, while wisdom can only be obtained through life experience.

3. Gary Gaffney, '69MS, began doctoral work in mathematics at Notre Dame but left to become an artist, eventually earning two degrees in fine art. His poem "Mil Preguntas (a meditation in 1000 questions)" explores a myriad of topics, using queries both whimsical and profound. Some of our favorites are:

-Is being ordinary a failure?
Provide your own answer to one of the author's inquires and be sure to tell us which question you select.

I do not believe that anybody is "ordinary". I believe that God created each and every one of us to be unique in our own special way. Because there is no standard to determine if somebody is "ordinary" or not, can anybody in this world really be a failure? Everybody has their own goals that they want reach as well as their own situations that they have to deal with while trying to obtain those goals. For example, if a girl gets into college to become a doctor but has to drop out in order to take care of her mother who has fallen ill, do we call her a failure for it? No, we call her a model daughter because she realizes the importance of her family over the other situations in her life. In God's eyes, there is no "ordinary" and there are no failures.

5. Why are you interested in attending the University of Notre Dame?

Being a Catholic student attending a non-Catholic high school, I have always felt a bit out of place. Sometimes I even feel discriminated against because of my beliefs, often by the same people that pledge to oppose prejudice. Besides my church and family, I have never really found a place where I truly feel I belong.

After visiting the University of Notre Dame back in June, I believe this institution to be the place where I want to begin the next part of my life. While I was there, I felt like I was right at home. It's as if the soul of this university resonated with my own. As I grow into adulthood, I want a place where I can not only mature academically, but spiritually as well. I believe the University of Notre Dame to be the perfect place to grow into a well-rounded servant of the Lord.

Undergraduate / I am a teacher; University of Michigan-Ann Arbor [2]

Prompt: Everyone belongs to many different communities and/or groups defined by (among other things) shared geography, religion, ethnicity, income, cuisine, interest, race, ideology, or intellectual heritage. Choose one of the communities to which you belong, and describe that community and your place within it. (Approximately 250 words)

Every Sunday morning, my family gets up at 9:00 AM sharp. We get ourselves dressed, fight over who gets to use the bathroom, and then head off to Holy Rosary Catholic Church. Besides my first family, the community that I belong to that is the most important to me is my church family. When I am with them, I always feel loved and accepted.

The church that I am a part of is a very tight-knit community. When we get together, everybody knows who everybody else is and we all know that we can rely on each other. I am sure that I could go to any person in the congregation with a problem and they would be willing to help me.

For my own place within the community, I am a teacher. I go into the church every Sunday and, with 2 other people help to teach kids about God and the Bible. I try to teach them all that I have learned myself so that I may have a positive impact on their future. It fills me with joy every time I am able to teach the children something new. I want to teach kids in order to repay my church community for teaching me so much in my 17 years of life.

My church family is one that has had an everlasting impact on my life. Through teaching the children, I hope to set an example of an outstanding citizen that they can use in their lives.

Undergraduate / Football team/ Chemical Engineering; University of Michigan/ Unique qualities [4]

I had a little bit of trouble writing this essay, as I wasn't too sure what the question was really asking me. Any feedback would be helpful.

Prompt: Describe the unique qualities that attract you to the specific undergraduate College or School (including preferred admission and dual degree programs) to which you are applying at the University of Michigan. How would that curriculum support your interests? (500 words maximum)

The first thing that I believe attracted me to the University of Michigan was its football team, as my parents had raised me to be a Wolverine my whole life. One of my birthday presents was actually a trip to Ann Arbor for a football game. Even though my father and I had to watch it in our rain gear in the freezing sleet, we still had a great time. It wasn't until about 4 years ago, when I started researching colleges, that I began to wrap my head around why I really wanted to attend the University of Michigan.

As of right now, I believe the degree I want to pursue is one in chemical engineering. I took Chemistry in my junior year of high school and I found everything that we did and learned in that class extremely interesting. It amazes me how two different things can be put together to create something new. At this university, I will be able to expand my knowledge and apply it to solve problems.

I have been to many different events at the University of Michigan, including sporting events and college visits. The event that had the most impact on both my decision to attend the University of Michigan as well as the degree I may want to pursue was Tech Day that the university held. I went there in order to learn about chemical and nuclear engineering and I was amazed by all of the things I was shown. It was a little hard for me to get used to not being around anybody I knew, but I was able to quickly make a group of friends. This showed me just how friendly the future Wolverines could be. I learned all about what my career would be like through the lectures and demonstrations that the students showed me. This event made me want to pursue chemical engineering even more.

Attending the University of Michigan would have a great impact on my current plan for my future. If I were to go here, I would take advantage of the university's 5-year Master's program to obtain my Master's degree in Chemical Engineering as fast as I can. A close friend of the family, who is a high-ranking employee of the chemical company DuPont, said that he would be able to get me an internship and, eventually, a career at the company if I were to pursue this path.

All of these things, including the university's stellar academic programs, has convinced me that the University of Michigan would be the perfect place to continue my studies. With the vast amount of knowledge and opportunities that the University of Michigan has to offer me, I believe I will be able to have a positive impact on the world.