Undergraduate / UPenn Supplement - "Perpetuate an evolving education" [4]

A Penn education provides a liberal arts and sciences foundation across multiple disciplines with a practical emphasis in one of four undergraduate schools: the College of Arts and Sciences, the School of Engineering and Applied Science, the School of Nursing, or the Wharton School. Given the undergraduate school to which you are applying, please discuss how you will engage academically at Penn (please answer in 300 words or less).

Right now, I have not every specific references to Penn itself and would life suggestions on that. It's my first draft so be very harsh!

Given the undergraduate school to which you are applying, please discuss how you will engage academically at Penn. (Please answer in 300 words or less.)At one period in history, far before Women's suffrage and the abolition of slavery, education was meant for the rich, the noble and those who are destined for greatness by blood right. Now, centuries past those unjust sentiments, we have co-ed, multi-racial and overall diverse institutions of education. And when I walked onto the college campus of the University of Pennsylvania, with lush greenery surrounding every building, the gothic architecture that imbued it with a sense of purpose and tradition and the ever-evolving structures present on campus, I saw a University that would guide me to the threshold of the ever-changing college education in the most rewarding and effective way.

As the founder, Benjamin Franklin, dreamed of when he founded the University, the institution was not only intended to teach young scholars theory and suppositions, but also practical knowledge that they could redirect into solving problems in society, creating the first liberal arts curriculum. Of course, there would be no looking back for me. I would immediately take advantage of the small faculty to student ratio of 6:1 to incessantly ask questions and take the initiative to participate in the undergraduate research center to learn at the forefront of scientific research. While my interest lies in learning biomedicine, I would play to the advantages of the liberal arts education the University offers as well and delve into various subjects such as political science, environmental science, the humanities and even history to become a more well rounded student who can converse with others on a variety of issues and form a versatility that spans all disciplines.

For me, the University of Pennsylvania would be a door to shed hesitation and take risks. It would mean bold advances to attempt to grasp fleeting opportunities in education and pursue passion. Already supported by my strong pillars in higher level education with a myriad of AP courses spanning natural sciences, literature and history, I wish to not only to experience the outstanding research and science facilities but also perpetuate the need for a practical, well-rounded education and hopefully, in the years after attending the University, support that assertion with the fruits of labor.

Undergraduate / Johns Hopkins Supplement - "From Inspiration to Biochemistry" [6]

Please edit this essay for how well it answers the question and the overall strength of it. Thanks!!

Write a brief essay (250 words maximum) in which you respond to the following questions. (freshman applicants only):

Johns Hopkins offers 50 majors across the schools of Arts and Sciences and Engineering. On this application, we ask you to identify one or two that you might like to pursue here. Why did you choose the way you did? If you are undecided, why didn't you choose? (If any past courses or academic experiences influenced your decision, you may include them in your essay.)

As soon as I stepped into that ornate AP chemistry class junior year, I felt an everlasting bond form. The walls were ornamented with various posters for renowned, prominent scientists of their time and their accomplishments and a myriad of discoveries related to the field of chemistry. Of course being a young, pliable mind, I quickly became attached to the subject and felt a growing attraction as our Chemistry teacher preached of science's role in improving society. But alongside chemistry, biology also tugged at my premature interests. Biology with its heavily practical nature and tremendous scope, immediately fascinated me. Although many would consider my situation fortunate, I felt a looming inner conflict. Which was I to choose? But as soon as a representative from Johns Hopkins arrived at my high school, and I heard of the flexibility of each major and the possibility to concentrate on a narrowed interest within each major, I realized that John Hopkins would truly facilitate my interest in pursuing both Biology and Chemistry. At John Hopkins, I wish to major in Biology with a concentration in Biochemistry at the Bloomberg School of Public. Through this experience, I believe I will not only receive an unparalleled education in the sciences, but also do justice to my high school Chemistry and Biology teachers who sparked that interest and passion within me to not only learn for the sake of creating a future for myself, but also for the sake of bettering myself and mankind.

Undergraduate / Emory Supplement - "Reminiscent and Adventurous" [2]

What are the unique qualities of Emory University, and the specific school(s) to which you are applying (Emory College of Arts and Sciences, Oxford College,What are the unique qualities of Emory University, and the specific school(s) to which you are applying (Emory College of Arts and Sciences, Oxford College, or both), that make you want to become part of Emory University? In what ways do you hope to take advantage of the qualities you have identified? Please limit your response to 250 words.

I stared in awe as my mentor quickly swabbed samples of the E. coli cell culture, plunged the samples into the buffer solution and into the centrifuge to extricate the altered DNA with such precision, that she seemed ethereal. As I stood in the Neuroscience lab the summer before senior year, I felt as if I had crossed a threshold into another dimension and felt compelled to pause and assess the gravity of the situation.

For me, research had always been a topic of intrigue and finally, last summer, I was able to participate in one of the Ohio State Department of Neuroscience labs. Unfortunately, that experience was short lived and simply one year could not satiate my interests. Therefore, I wish to continue research as I pursue a college education and I believe that with the SIRE program at Emory College of Arts and Sciences, I will have endless opportunities to indulge in research. This, alongside the small learning environment in which I can quell my curiosity, are the predominant reasons I wish to attend. But the research opportunities are simply one component of Emory's allure. I also wish to work alongside peers in Volunteer Emory and serve the community. Volunteering has been an aspect of my life that I have grown attached to and one I wish to preserve. I think a good university provides students with an environment reminiscent of their past and also encourages undertaking new ventures, which is exactly what I think Emory will provide for me.

I think the conclusion might be a bit rushed. Can anyone verify that or deny it?

Undergraduate / "Speech and Debate" - I don't fear audience anymore! [2]

Please briefly elaborate on one of your extracurricular activities or work experiences in the space below (1000 character maximum). (max 1000 characters)

I stumbled into the classroom, running the points over and over through my head, wiping my sweaty palms, and prepared to speak. There was only one judge in the classroom but I felt an imposing audience bearing down on me. I scrambled to the judge whose expression seemed to show bitter disappointment and regret and greeted him with shaky hands. Needless to say, I struggled through most of the speech and recall more "um's" and "uh's" than substantive words but that day, I could sigh from relief. I could proudly exclaim I was a new man, a bold man. Not only had I achieved what many in the Speech and Debate club feared and strayed from, I had liberated my mind of my irrational fetters. Even today, my experiences as an extemporaneous speaker bear fruit. Not only do I have confidence in myself to speak eloquently, I have the drive, the desire, to venture outside of my daily activities and tread new waters. And I am proud to say, I have not again witnessed another disappointed judge.

Undergraduate / "Not Just Deep Thought"- Common App Personal Statement [9]

While I never aim to disrespect, I find myself wandering off into thought at the oddest times and at the oddest triggers. It may be that the teacher mentioned that she was dubbed the "pork queen" of her hometown and immediately, I would just have to turn my head and conjure up that image. I might be thinking of her with a large pig head, a pink sash, a wheat farm behind her, and a heavy plate of grease secreting bacon in her hands, but the most shocking aspect of that fantasy was that I was currently in my Public Speaking class and we were discussing speeches of introduction

So, yes, the fantasies, or euphemistically, "deep thoughts", were impeding my education but they occurred in more than just dull classes. There were even times when I would arrive late to school because I couldn't avoid staring at the squirrel on the window sill and wondering if it saw me even though it never looked directly at me while I was trying to have my bowl of cereal. Or the time when I woke up and suddenly began thinking about how I got there, what the purpose of life was, and how mankind wasn't much less than a speck of dust floating in the galaxy. But it was not until high school that I began to perceive deep thought as a threat. I began to realize that different parts of my life were in total rebellion against it. The rigor of high school academia was putting a sword to the neck of my amusing quirk. The stringent expectations of the classroom were suffocating my intellectual freedom. And the burdens of daily life were whittling away at free time. It was plain as day to me back then that change was pivotal unless I wanted to coast through life as some "pork king".

So, I tried. I tried to my utmost potential to forge a more respectable self; a student that would focus on studies and not become easily distracted by the next pop up that appeared on the monitor. But it was not long before I realized that reality and fantasy would not coincide. Of course I could force myself to eat green vegetables, to actually read school textbooks, and to laugh at corny jokes that certain math teachers made, but had I really changed who I was? No matter how forcefully I pounded ideals into my head to rewire my brain, there was immense resistance. So ultimately, I made the prudent decision to stop. I realized that rather than reform myself, I should allow my environment to adjust. Deep thought is a part of my life that I could not relinquish because it created this odd amalgamation that could amuse, anger and befriend others. This quirk may be at odds with other aspects of my life, but that only brings excitement. I am delighted to remain unchanged because, to me, deep thought forms a sum larger than its parts.