Undergraduate / Boston offers all important features to me; Boston University / Why BU? [11]

Essay 1: In no more than 250 words, please tell us why BU is a good fit for you and what specifically has led you to apply for admission? (Currently at 208)

I had never visited Boston before I flew from Spain to start high school as a freshman. Nevertheless, it didn't take long before I called the city home. Boston offers an environment that fosters culture, diversity and a sense of community -- all important features to me -- and that is clearly demonstrated in Boston University. Home of apt intellectuals displayed on its faculty and student alumni, BU evokes academic prestige -- a legacy of groundbreaking education that will motivate me to work to my fullest potential. I'm mostly captivated with the strength of BU's Department of Biology, offering a breadth of specialized courses while encouraging its students to participate in research in and out of class. This will give me the essential/fundamental foundation to continue to my graduate studies. Moreover, BU will offer me incomparable opportunities for internship positions in laboratories and the medical field with the possibility to intern abroad. If given the opportunity to become part of [lacking the exact word here, help!] and make/leave my mark contributing positively to society putting into good use the tools Boston University will make available to me, I would not think twice. Boston University is the university where I would gladly spend the next four years of my life.

Undergraduate / 'An Unexpected Journey and Winning the Green Card' Common Application [33]

Hello! I need help editing and taking out a few words from my essay. But most importantly, I need to know what other people think of it, and if I have successfully made my point. Also any title suggestions? I'm not too sure I like the one I have at the moment. And lastly, should I choose Topic of your choice, or follow the prompt below from the Common App. PLEASE HELP!

PROMPT: Evaluate a significant experience, achievement, risk you have taken, or ethical dilemma you have faced and its impact on you.

'An Unexpected Journey'

Lime green cover. Interesting choice of color. Chapter one. First line...

It's difficult to leave the place you call home once, and twice, but the third time turns you into an emotional wreck, I thought. I moved from Bolivia to Spain when I was seven years old, and from Spain to the United States when I was thirteen. Ironically I had entered the so called 'freshman' year, and with 'Hello,' 'How are you' and 'Goodbye' under my belt, I made it through my first day.

For the next four years, I learned to love a culture opposite from the two residing within me. Yet, my American identity co-existed with the two. I made a new home. Although this time, I did not expect to continue my life counterclockwise.

I returned to Spain from the U.S. after graduating high school. Life still wrapped me in its irony and when I had been given the right to stay indefinitely in the country I longed to remain, I was required to leave with a to-be-determined date of arrival.

Winning the Green Card lottery was a bittersweet feeling. My permanence was no longer a mystery and hypothetically I was to walk, jog and run as I pleased. But somehow I felt made of stone. My plans came to a halt. Though in my eyes, postponed.

In Spain, I was given a chance to rediscover myself. I never lived a life that wasn't constantly in the moving, and so made of concrete I started to move. I indulged in my education. I was the master of my present and future and I had a compromise to my future, so my present required change. I met people from different corners of the world who motivated and strengthened the benchmarks I had set for myself. I did not have floating goals and dreams -- I worked for them and I looked for and grabbed every opportunity that crossed my path. Most importantly, I grew as a person.

I took charge of my life independently. This time of uncertainty was no longer an obstacle.

Two years have passed since I graduated from high school and now, back in American soil, I think about the parallels of my life experiences. The times when I first came to the U.S. and learned the word mild too little too late at an Indian restaurant. Or the time when I mistook and, embarrassingly, mispronounced the word beach with its not so likable counterpart while doing a presentation in front of a full classroom. Both were situations that arrived from an obstacle I was facing but that I decided to learn from. The language which I could make no sense out of is now an essential implement that I use every day.

As my eyes flow left to right making my way down this book to start right back again, I quickly connect with my favorite character, Charlie. According to Charlie, 'even if we don't have the power to choose where we come from, we can still choose where we go from there.' I could not have agreed more.

Undergraduate / Education system in the US; Brown Sup; Academic environment [10]

Hello! I need help with my answer to this question:
Prompt: A distinctive feature of the Brown Curriculum is the opportunity to be the architect of your education. Why does this academic environment appeal to you? (700 characters)

After immigrating to America, I experienced a different educational system, one that gave me the flexibility and freedom to explore new subjects. The system in Spain, although effective, restricted/made me common/got rid of my individuality/generalized me considering my curriculum was decided by the government. What attracted me about Brown University, among other things, was that I would continue to design and take control of my education with autonomy and encouragement. I may know what I want to study but that does not define who I am. I am more than a science major student. I aim to take academic risks without fear of failure for I know I am self-directed. But if I do fail, I know I would have the options to rebuild it/my design.

I'm having trouble choosing the right words to say. I want this to be unique, personal and easy to read. If you have any suggestions, I would really appreciate it! This is my first draft so PLEASE feel free to be honest!