Undergraduate / Yale short answers - Philosophy - Physics - woman [4]

I am not a native speaker, so I would realy appreciate help either with content and grammatics.

What in particular about Yale has influenced your decision to apply?
Being a woman in natural sciences can trigger some small adveristies; being a woman trying to combine both empiric and conceptual methods of exploring natural world will be ruthless. Yale can change it - as one of the few universities in states offering Physics and Philosophy major, and the only one with such significant assistance for womens in science with WISAY mentoring program. Since I have been living in a boarding house through my high school I can not imagine college experience without its binding atmosphere; Residental College System perfectly fits my positive spirit I want to share with peers.

I think the first part may sound like complaining, but I just didn't want to start with "what I love in Yale is...". What do you think?

You have been granted a free weekend next month. How will you spend it?

Explore the dark, wet, narrow spaces buried deep under the ground - that is almost accurate way of describing caving.

What is something about which you have changed your mind in the last three years?

After years of claming "science is everything!" I gave chance to humanities. Now philosophy is as important part of me as physics.

What is the best piece of advice you have received while in high school?

"It is better to trust someone and be decived, than regret that you could not believe in them."

What do you wish you were better at being or doing?

Sometimes I talk to much. I should be more specific, not expatiate on something that in fact is simple.

What is a learning experience, in or out of the classroom, that has had a significant impact on you?

Visiting the nuclear reactor 'Maria' - scientist in their natural environment and admiring the polish wellspring of modern physics left me breathless.

Undergraduate / 'learning by rote the ready-made solutions' Common application essay - dyslexia melons [3]

Please, evaluate my essay to help me correct it. I'm sending it to top colleges, so I'm very nervous.

-- If life gives you melons, you might be dyslexic!

Eastern Europe has been holding on to the same schemes of teaching for years; learning by rote the ready-made solutions and aim for the "perfect student" model. They are effective for the great majority of students, but there is a price - low tolerance for a minority of pupils maladjusted to the scheme.

My primary school friend, Maksymilian, was gifted with an exceptional mathematical brilliance - nonetheless every time he took part in a competition, he failed. His answers were always correct, but not the method of their solving - an unusual way of thinking excluded his chances.

Years later my peer Zofia repeated the class. With her fantastic memory her knowledge surpassed that of elder colleagues; however, she could not comply with the requirements of evaluation - systematic notes, organization and focus. Her abilities were beside the point.

Most severely the scheme punished Emilia, who on the scored such a weak result Matura in literature, that university was beyond her reach. Alarming is that Emilia, as a writer, had published two books before her graduation; she just work too slow to fit in the time set for the examination.

Was their otherness the source of the problem? By no means - its core was an incomprehension of their uncommon way of learning. Maksymilian, Zofia and Emilia are dyslexics - same as me - the word-blind children that face underestimation through entire education.

My schooling was comedy of errors. Whenever I solved the task in the wrong, according to teachers, way, it was seen as a deliberate insubordination. By concentration difficulty they were convinced I just did not try. Too short time for finishing tests resulted in poor grades. Therefore, when burying myself in natural science books - and finding a real passion inside them - I expressed a juvenile dream: "I want to be a scientist!", my teachers were shaking their heads with disapproval.

"May this single weakness be the wall standing on my aspirations way?" The authority of teachers in primary school is absolute, and their statement was clear: I did not fit in, and that made me stupid So whenever I saw my future-self in my mind, in a laboratory coat and goggles, solving riddles of the universe serious doubts overcame me.

Until I delved into the biographies of groundbreaking physicists of the last centuries. Some of them may seem surprising: "James Maxwell suffered from dyslexia? How is that possible? And Michael Faraday also ... as well as Nikola Tesla, and even Einstein! But it means that ..."

Then I saw the other, surprisingly bright side of dyslexia - lateral reasoning, love for complexity, excel at three-dimensional problem solving and more than anything passionate curiosity. If those remarkable individuals managed to overcome their limitations and turn them into the power of change that shaped modern science, how could I just give up?

It took me a long time, a lot of hard work and perseverance to convince myself, and than others, that this aspect of me is not an obstacle, but on the contrary - my chance. I started to work independently, in my very own way, with the help of those teachers, who have seen a chance for me; finally take part in projects and competitions in which the non-schematic solutions were rewarded, not punished. My world began to change slowly, and each success - either as great as the Presidential Scholarship, or small one, like praise of the favorite teacher - confirmed my belief that my way towards studying physics just begin.

Dyslexia still remains a weakness which any word-blind should constantly work on. And remain vigilant against anything he will encounter as its result. But I wish for him to never doubt that he can make it through; to keep in mind that he can become great not despite dyslexia, but because of that.

--I am not native, so I could make mistakes. I also don't know american mentality well - I think my essay may sound exalted and lofty. The problem is that I am such person - exalted and lofty - and writing in a down-to-earth style is very difficult for me.

--Also I'm not sure which topic should it be. :D There are two that fit somehow:
1. Some students have a background or story that is so central to their identity that they believe their application would be incomplete without it. If this sounds like you, then please share your story.

2. Reflect on a time when you challenged a belief or idea. What prompted you to act? Would you make the same decision again?

Which one will be better?

Undergraduate / MIT short essays. Attribute of personality, my world, significant challenge. [4]

What attribute of your personality are you most proud of, and how has it impacted your life so far? This could be your creativity, effective leadership, sense of humor, integrity, or anything else you'd like to tell us about. (200-250 words)

Meybe a perseverance? O, or an optimism?
But how many times I have met obstacles until I started to face them with a smile? I was broken after loosing in a contest for the clay angel in primary school, or when I forgot the text during my first speach. It took me a long time until I decided to just do my best, so even failure could be glorious.

Ok, so a leadership.
No, in the early years of education effective cooperation used to be challenging for me. I was not a born leader - I learnt it in small steps. When I have became a leader of my theatre group I used to dictate them all decisions. Only after many unnecessary mistakes I realized, how important part of the success is respect for subordinates and teamwork.

Actually, even compassion is something I had yet to learn...
There were times when my friends needed help, but I just did not know how to comfort them - something so intuitive for many people. Then I was stopping seeing any person, that seemed to be sad, or scared. And I started to learn how to support them - very clumsy at first, sometimes embarrasing them more than helping; but with time I got better.

I started with an intention to write about a quality that distinguished me from the day I was born. But after a short deliberation I had to negate any of my present qualities

So I wrote about open-mindedness. I guess most of the MIT prospective students posses natural perseverance, compassion and learedship skills from the earliest years of their education. Well, I am not one of them; I had yet to learn any of these features. But luckilly I wanted to - and this humidity towards my weaknesses and willingness to change impated my life the most.

Describe the world you come from; for example, your family, clubs, school, community, city, or town. How has that world shaped your dreams and aspirations? (200-250 words)

People visiting this small gallery in Jerusalem show moderate interest; the items displayed are beautiful, but there is no shortage of beautiful works of crafts in Israel. Until the visitors learn about the unusual circumstances in which these items were produced; then a gasp of astonishment follows.

I am standing by sixty-year-old Shabi - one of the craftswomen who created them - and conveying her the customers responses by signs on her hand. The woman gives us a warm smile.

Shabi is deaf-blind, as everyone in the factory. Despite the fact that she cannot see or hear, she is still capable of creating wonderful works.

I worked with Shabi and other members of her community in a small manufactory in Israel, poviding deaf-blind people all the means necessary for them to work and gain fair income, as a part of my gap-year-volunteering-plan. Before my arrival, I did not know how should I behave in front of them; but instead of poor, disadvantaged people, I met enthusiastic individuals, leading normal, active lives. Since nature took away a substantial part of their abilities, they use what they have to the fullest. They enjoy every day; work, create, and develop.

Over time, their small but exciting world came to be my world as well. Shabi became a role model and inspiration for me to show enthusiasm in everything I do. Today I would like to share the same enthusiasm with my surroundings. If those people can create such great things, then what, in fact, is each of us capable of?

Tell us about the most significant challenge you've faced or something important that didn't go according to plan. How did you manage the situation? (200-250 words)

If life gives you melons, you might be dyslexic!

The Eastern Europe has held on to the same schemes of teaching for years; learning by heart the ready-made solutions and aiming for the "perfect student" model. For the word-blind children malajusted to scheme, it makes the whole education a significant challenge.

Whenever I solved the task in a wrong, according to teachers, way, they saw it as a deliberate insubordination. With inreased difficulty, they were convinced I just did not try. Too short time for finishing tests resulted in poor grades.

Therefore, when immersing myself in natural science books I expressed a juvenile dream: "I want to be a scientist!", then my teachers were shaking their heads with disapproval. Their statement was clear: I did not fit in, and that made me stupid. So whenever I saw my future-self in my mind, in a laboratory coat and goggles, serious doubts have come over me.

Until I delved into the biographies of groundbreaking physicists of the last centuries. "James Maxwell suffered from dyslexia? How is that possible? And Michael Faraday also ... as well as Nikola Tesla, and even Einstein! But it means that ..."

Then I saw the other, surprisingly bright side of dyslexia - a lateral reasoning, love for complexity and more than anything passionate curiosity. I started to work independently, in my very own way, and take part in projects and competitions which reward the non-schematic solutions, not punish. My world began to change slowly, convincing me, and than others, that my way toward studying physics just begin - not despite dyslexia, but because of that. If those remarkable individuals managed to overcome their limitations and turn them into the power of change that shaped modern science, how could I just give up?

This is a half of MIT essays, all of them are too long. And the deadline is dangerously near.
Could you please evaluate critically both content and language, and suggest how to make them shorter?
I am also afraid that my "attribute of personality" answer may be risky. Should I write something more standard?

Undergraduate / Cornell Suppliment - Physics, Philosophy, Experimental Theatre [2]

The biggest problem is grammar, since I am not native. Any help would be appreciated. :)

Describe two or three of your current intellectual interests and why they are exciting to you. Why will Cornell's College of Arts and Sciences be the right environment in which to pursue your interests?

Physics is the only science that involves the whole natural world - from its most fundamental principles to the colossal structures and processes occurring in the universe. It seems to be more than enough reason to dedicate ones life to its exploration. This field of science has been a kind of first love for me, from the earliest childish questions about the natural world that I raised to satisfy my never-ending curiosity. If I would have to point out one event that influenced my interest the most it would be visiting the nuclear reactor 'Maria' in Swierk-Otwock - a possibility to observe scientist in their natural environment and admire the Polish wellspring of modern physics left me breathless. From that moment, I just could not forget about excitement filling me while revealing the truth hidden by nature behind everyday affairs. I realized that once you try, you do not simply give up on the science.

Cornell offers exceptional freedom in choosing classes, including the possibility of the Individual Major. Among the courses for Physics major, I find the Applications of Quantum Mechanics (PHYS 3317) and the Introduction to Accelerator Physics and Technology (PHYS 4456) especially tempting, as they fit my current fields of interest. Since I am going to continue my education with graduate studies in physics, undergraduate research opportunities provided by CURB could help me to involve myself in various projects and prepare practcally for the graduate program. I had a chance to read about the reserch project, with the participation of undergraduates, on investigating and trying out methods for transferring power optically across a high voltage gap. I do not need anything more to know that Cornell will provide me with all education and personal development necessary for professional career in science.

My experience of working on publication about philosophical methodology made me believe that modern physics issues can be solved more effectively with scientific achievements of philosophy, like the model theory, or automated theorem proving. According to words of the funny-hair physician Einstein: "This independence created by philosophical insight is - in my opinion - the mark of distinction between a mere artisan or specialist and a real seeker after truth." I believe that truthful understanding of the most basic concepts of philosophy is obligatory for any scientist interested in elementary particle physics.

Despite the fact, that at present Cornell does not offer Philosophy minor I can still pursue my interests thanks to the Philosophy of Physics (PHYS 2202) course. In addition, I can do this as a part of diverse, active and inspiring community characterizing the College of Arts and Sciences.

Because I am a woman trying to combine empiric goals of physics and conceptual methods of philosophy to explore the natural world more effectively, I will be evaluated in a ruthless way in my future. Specific for Cornell approval for non-traditional approach to the field of study gives me a hope for working in my philosophy-physics way without the necessity of hiding in the storeroom at the back of the lab.

The other area of my interest is theater. I watched some recordings from performances of the Flexible Theatre and Red Shadow I was impressed by their quality. A year ago my summer was occupied mostly by organization of the festival of experimental forms of theatre "Hardkon" - two months of continuous work of the whole team topped by six days of amazing performances, improvisations and workshops by artists from all over the country. After this experience, I would love to introduce to the Cornell theatre community some of the experimental forms of improvisation, especially jeepform.

Cornell changes with every student, who join its community to share enhusiasm and passion for learning. This unique quality make it pop out from just being another top school on a list, to a place where I would truly love to spend the next four years of my life.

Undergraduate / Interest in particle physics lead me to decision to apply to University of Glasgow - transfer essay [2]

Would you mind helping me with transfer essay? I'm not native speaker, but language should be more or less fine. I'm more concerned about general impression. :)

In the second class of high school I was invited by government to visit nuclear reactor Maria in Swierk. Massive aluminium cylinders containing fragile, low-enriched uranium fuel elements cooled by flowing water, and two rooms full of busy scientists and equippment to control it. Though physics was one of my main fields of interest before, the opportunity to see blooming center of its development, to speak with professionals who devoted their lives to discover how nature works, was crucial in shaping my future goals.

...