Writing Feedback / IELTS: the graph show the number of passenger railway journeys [4]

Task1: the graph show the number of passenger railway journeys in Great Britain between 1950 and 2004/5.
Summerize the information by selecting and reporting the main features.

Graph: pik.vn/201471f827bf-2e7b-4d36-b4bf-62fa5b16cc83.jpeg

Please show me the mistakes of the essay and let me know how much band i get. Thanks very much

The graph illustrates information about the number of people using three railway systems in Great Britain between 1950 and 2004/5.
As can be seen from the graph, the passenger railway journeys increased for the three systems over the period. The passengers of National rail network and London Underground increased with the same trend. For National rail network, it fell from 1000 millions journeys a year in 1950 to about 600 millions journeys in 1980. Likewise, for London Underground the numbers are about 700 millions in 1950 and 500 millions in 1980 respectively. After that, the number of people using Nation rail network rose rapidly to a highest point at about 1100 millions journeys in 2004/5 and the number of passengers for London Underground also increased dramaticly to about 1000 millions a year in 2004/5.

Light rail and metro system was only introduced just after 1960 with very small number of people using the system. However, from 1980 to 2004/5 the number rose sharply to about 200 millions passengers a year.

In conclusion, the number of people using Light rail and metro system was much less than others.

Writing Feedback / Ielts: The gap between poor and rich countries has been large from longtime ago [NEW]

The inequality between rich and poor nations is wider than it has ever been before. What do you think are the main causes of this difference and what do you think can be done to reduce the gap?

Please help me to find the mistakes and show me how to repair it. If possible, let me know how band i can get for this essay.

The gap between poor and rich countries has been large from longtime ago and it is larger than it has been ever before. People think about many reasons which cause the gap but i suppose that education and nature conditions are two main causes of this.

Firsly, no one can deny the importance of education for development of a nation. Poor countries in africa such as ethiopia or nigeria and developing countries often have unbenefical education systems which can not help educating people and as a result it can not help improving the country. Lack of education means citizens of a nations dont know the effective way to use their resources and this leads the poverty of that nation. To deal with this problem, the solution would be that the poor countries could restructure their education system or the rich nations should help the poor countries by educating teachers of poor countries or transfering modern teaching methods to poor countries.

Secondly, natrure conditions play an important role in development of a nation. The developing countries normally locate in areas with bad weather where fooding often happen such Viet Nam, Laos, Campodia. In addition, the countries which stay in difficult areas such as desert areas often very poor. These nature conditions affect very much on economy of the poor countries. The solution to deal with this would be that the rich nations could donate ODA to poor countries ODA for constructing infrastructure to protect their production plant againt difficult nature conditions.

In conclusion, to narrow the gap is a extreme task and the solutions can not bring the results immediately. However, if people in the world try their best to help each other, all of them will have happy lifes.

Writing Feedback / Ielts: Analysis of shopping complex in Auckland, New Zealand [2]

Ielts task1: The table and pie chart show in percentage terms the results of a survey of a new shopping complex in Auckland, New Zealand

Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The tables combining with pie chart illustrate information about how customers satisfy with Shops, Restaurants and Design of a shopping centre in Auckland, New Zealand.

As can bee seen from the tables, it is clear that Satisfied rates are much higher than Dissatisfied rates for both genders in all three aspects of the centre. For Shops, 62 per cent of Male (including 45 percent satisfied and 17 percent very satisfied) gave the commentS that they felt satisfied with this aspect and the number for Female is 71 percent (34 percent Very satisfied and 37 per cent Satisfied), while the number of customers did not satisfy is 20 per cent for both sexes. Males gave no comment are more than females, 18 percent and 9 percent, respectively. For Restaurants, there is a overwhelming majority of Male satisfying with this aspect ( 25% very satisfied and 55% satisfied) compared to only 5% customers dissatisfied. Number of female felt satisfied get 59% while 21% is number of female dissatisfied. 15% and 20% are numbers of male and female gave no comment, respectively.

For Design, we can see the same trend from the pie chart for both sexes with Satisfied rate accounting for a overwhelming majority proportion of 79% (62% satisfied and 17% very satisfied) in comparison with only 10% dissatisfied. Customers gave no comment get 17%.

To conclude, almost customers felt happy with the shopping centre when they were asked.

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Writing Feedback / Ielts: The world has seen an enormous increase in flights for leisure, business [5]

The world has seen an enormous increase in flights for leisure, business and commercial purposes around the world over recent years.
What do you think are the main advantages and disadvantages of such flights?
Do you think flights should be taxed more?

In recent decades, more and more people use airplane for their leisure, business or commercial reasons because of many benefits that it has brought back to them. However, besides the benefits there has been many drawbacks need to be highlighted

Firstly, no one can denny that the greatest benefit of flights is it helps ppassenger save time. The Passengers have to spend only short time to travel for long distances even from a continent to another. The goods for export such as flowers or fruits also is transported quickly by airplane, this brings back convenience for both producers and consumers.

Consumers can receive goods with high quality and producers can give the goods to their customers' hand on time. Secondly, another positive aspect that flights offer is the safety. As we know that traveling by other modes of transport like by car, by train or by motorbike often happen accident everyday while accident for flights happen rarely.

However, besides these advantages, there are concerns for flying. One of the most significant concerns is that it damages to environment. When planes fly at high speed, it consumes a huge amount of fuel and this is a cause of air pollution. In addition, the noise created by flights affects on people who live nearby airports.

To conclude, flights which produce many facilities for human are also a cause damaging to environment and in order to tackle this problem, government should tax more on flights to collect money for repairing damage caused by airplane.

Word:251

Writing Feedback / Ielts taks1: the diagram show how rainwater is reused [4]

The diagram below show how rainwater is reused
Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant

Please correct my mistakes i made and give a grade for my essay. Thanks very much.

The diagram shows details about progresses which people apply to reuse rainwater for personal purposes.

As can bee seen from the diagram, before human can use and reuse rainwater, there are some steps need to do.

Firstly, when rain falls, water is contained in Dam and then the water in Dam is pumped to Water Treatment Plant for treatment in order to create Drinking Water. This mount of water then is supplied to house for consumption. After the treated rainwater is used by people living in the house for household purposes such as drinking, cooking, cleaning etc, it becomes Household Wastewater and is moved to Wastewater Treatment Plant. At this plant, the water is completely purified and recycled to the house for consumption again and the rest is sent to river.

Secondly, when it rains, the rainwater running from the roofs of the houses is collected in a water tank. Because this rainwater resource is not cleaned, it is mostly used to water the garden.

Finally, we also can see in the diagram that the stormwater which rain falls to the ground flows through the pipe to the river.

word account: 188

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Writing Feedback / Fast food is cheap and convenient therefore has positive impact on human eating habits [3]

Fast food is now universally in most countries and is becoming increasingly popular. Some people think this is negative trend while other do not.
What is your opinion?

Fast food has brought significant changes in the way we consume food in recent years. Yet, there remains some disagreement as to whether the overall effect of this kind of food has been positive or negative. While there are certainly some valid arguments to the contrary, i personally believe that the benefits of fast food far outweigh its drawbacks. These benefits are twofold.

First of all, it is an indisputable fact that fast food has revolutionized the way we eat food. Despite the risk of health problems relating to fast food such as obesity, high blood pressure or heart disease-which occasionally seen in people who consume fast food to excess-most of us benefited greatly from this kind of food such as convenience and quickie of it. These positive aspects facilitate us save time in preparing and cooking a meal.

Equally importantly, cost for fast food is lower than any other kind of food. In earlier times, conducting a meal entailed a lot of money for a vast kind of food such as vegetable, meat, beef, pepper etc. Now, however, the meal can be accessed by one dollar or even less than. Admittedly, not all of fast food available at store is cheap or low cost-there are some kind of fast food that some would consider expensive or even luxury ranging from hamburger to fried chicken. Nonetheless, i would contend that this aspect of fast food has been a competitive advantage compared to others.

By way of conclusion, i once again reaffirm my position that fast food has had a positive impact on human eating habits because of it conveniences and its price.

Please give me a score. Thanks