Writing Feedback / Students spending time studying, but what about physical activities? [5]

Physical fitness, activities, self discipline, moral development, cooperation - study PE at school?

I think students should do so but can you help me with the ideas provided about
-Improve physical fitness
-Provide regular, healthful physical activities
-Teach self discipline
-Influence moral development, leadership, cooperate with others.
Please Help Me. I have to finish this by tomorrow.
Thanks all !!!

I need for a argument essay.

Writing Feedback / Teacher vs student - it would be ideal if students had some opportunities to talk during the lecture [3]

As I know it is " help me pay "

Undergraduate / "Are you okay, mom?" That question when I queried, my mother always replied "yes" Personal statement [2]

Hey! U are wrong :" a 8-years-old kid", it must be " a 8-year-old kid". And "However, if I was known that ..." u must write " I were"

I think that the paragraph when you wrote that you would go to the college, you don't write " offer my mother a good life" which should change into " give...".

I have just done it according to mine.
Good Luck ^^

Essays / What problem that students are facing with? [6]

Thank you for everything.
Can you please explain me more clearly about argument essay. I know it but I want to know clearly...

Essays / Being "The Outsider" in today's society! Concept in literature [2]

Oh sorry. I know what it means.
I think you should write about:
what those people do in front of a bad circumstance
bad things about this
how people should change it
.
A paragraph for an idea so it can be clear for your readers to read it and easier to understand.

Essays / What problem that students are facing with? [6]

Oh. I have already realized many things. Thank to what you had sent me.

Essays / What problem that students are facing with? [6]

Anyway, pleaseeeee ! Can you take a look at my opening to this matter: " Education is increasingly serious with terrible matters. Typically, Vietnamese students are facing with those. This situation is getting worse." I really don't know how to write the opening that the problem is clear.

Undergraduate / Tell us about something you do for the pleasure of it - MIT ESSAY; BUSY LIFE AND ACTIVITY [7]

"Life now is busy. People have their own ways to enjoy themselves. To me and others people, travelling is the best way to relax after a studious time of doing things. I love the new things which given simply by going round the cities by myself..."

Then you continue to write next paragraphs about things you have written above. Each paragraph for each idea.

Scholarship / Education is a key driver which always leads to the right direction - master degree scholarship SOP [2]

"I have found myself clearer and closer to my dream by the education." --> "Education helps me find myself clearer and makes to way to my dream shorter."

You had better not use "first, second, third,..." --> initially, moreover, additionally, further more... "First I would like to introduce myself "

"While I have worked here,..." --> While I was working here,..."
"some financial problem" --> "some financial problems"
"But it is useful for me to preparing before study in master degree level." -->".... for me to prepare before studying ...."

"Therefore, I really need some financial aid" --> "... aids"

Essays / Should universities be available for all students or they should be given to only good ones? [5]

Thank you so much. I got high grades. ^^

Writing Feedback / Advertisement motivates us to imitate others rather than being unique according to our interest [3]

"I disagree with this view as people likes to be different according to their interest." : likes -> like
"However some people argue that advertisement discourage individual to be unique" : discourage -> discourages
The rest of your essay are quite well-written. But in the first paragraph I think the word "interest" should be replaced because you use it many times in your essay or you should cut that part of those sentences.

Good luck :D

Essays / Students own decision? I think so. The main reason is the students' health. [4]

Thank you very much. Those are both useful for me ^^ @IHaile @vijaypj

Undergraduate / Becoming the Girl I've Always Wanted To Be--Common App Transfer Essay [2]

Your essay should have opening paragraph and ending one to show the readers what you want to say and how you end it. It's much better if you have them.

Writing Feedback / Money is a loyal servant or a cruel master; it depends on the way that you use and consider it. [4]

I think your essay is good at some points.
But I think that you should write one more paragraph about some people who can do anything to have a lot of money, do not deny to do anything cruel. It means that they do not success. I think so.

Good luck

Writing Feedback / Money is a loyal servant or a cruel master; it depends on the way that you use and consider it. [4]

NO. You should write it short and do not lengthen so that it will o.k

Essays / Write a story based on: "U have let me down for the last time" - he roared [5]

can I tell a story about my broken friendship that i was let down by my best friend?

Essays / The most UNFORGETABLE experience occured when you're at primary school~ [5]

Thanks but I still have something to ask you.
That experience I mean is moving school but your idea is including a clear experience: friends or something else,....
Should I write it clearly or tell some with that experience ???
Anyway, Thank you one more time ^^

Essays / The most UNFORGETABLE experience occured when you're at primary school~ [5]

oh~~~~~~~~~~
thanks but I just moved from village to town not overseas.
Anyway these help me much
Thanks again

Writing Feedback / Is TV a good thing for keeping people informed and entertained? [3]

the length of the two paragraphs are not equal
your state ideas are not clear enough.
I think it needs more supporting sentences instead of long ex
u should shorten ur ex
hope this helps
good luck

Writing Feedback / IELST TASK 2 : living in small community creates a wide range communication [2]

If you fix it as above
ur essay will be really well-written
u r writing to argue the negative side
so u should write more about the disadvantages and supporting sentences, shorten ur ex with clear state
the positive is against ur ideas, that's why u had better only list them instead of doing it clear and enough strong over to the other side

hope this helps
good luck

Student Talk / Hi everyone! Welcome at EssayForum thread. [414]

Hi guys ^^
Can I ask what is going on here? Please answer me
I have used this web for some months
Please help ...
._______. <3

Essays / Event that changes life - need ideas for following topics [6]

With 1 and 2
I just cannot understand
can u make it clearly for me, please??????
I am a student so I cannot write about a lost job or loving somebody...
They are just not for my age.
4. Bully `~~` I am a girl
Having Failed classes because of not studying may be a good idea. Can it be the reason of being lazy and thinking be able to do it without preparing ?

However, thank u so much <3

Essays / Event that changes life - need ideas for following topics [6]

Thanksssss <3 lOve u