Writing Feedback / Assignment: Is it important to question the ideas and decisions of people in positions of authority? [3]

Hi everyone i am appearing in the SAT exam please grade my essay from 1 to 6. And i appreciate the criticisms and people pointing my mistakes because that's the way of learning. Please point my mistakes if there is any and Thank you all in advance for reading my essay!

ESSAY

Assignment: Is it important to question the ideas and decisions of people in positions of authority? Plan and write an essay in which you develop your point of view on the issue. Support your position with reasoning and examples taken from your reading, studies, experience, or observations.

Through a lot of criticisms and debate we tend to find a palatable solution to a problem but yet should we question the authorities to find a resolution? Majority advocates this idea but others look this idea into different perspective. For instance, the rapid hyperinflation in Bangladesh and also the skyrocketing accounting fraud in Bangladesh which was discovered by the Bangladesh board of audit committee support this thesis invariably.

Before the hyperinflation governments were in-cognizant of their future of the policies they have taken. The governments heightened the spending and the budget deficit and took all the necessary requirements to boost the income in the economy but when economists admonished them about their policies the governments simply ignored them but when they saw a rapid hyperinflation attacking the economy ferociously the finance minister resigned as a result and the people of Bangladesh since then learned a lesson to not to trust the government's decision and that authorities can sometime make mistakes.

Another example which supports this thesis is when the Bangladesh accounting fraud took recently. Before the accounting fraud government condoned the policy of making it legal to not audit the yearly financial statements and the companies took the advantage of this policy by a deceptive game and avoiding taxes legally. Later when Dr. Younus a noble prize winning social enterprise broke into the corruption circle he informed the crime branch and when the investigation concluded by the crime branch massive billions of dollars were thought to be avoided in taxes! Finally the governments took steps to reduce corruption in future.

To sum up, it is always wrong to think that authorities are always right after all we all know that people make and are bound to make mistakes. By questioning and debating the authorities' decisions we can avoid the negative consequences and make a better decision which will benefit everyone.

Writing Feedback / Responsibility of problems - People or Governments [3]

Hello everyone. Please help me find the mistakes in the essay, if anyone finds of course. Through mistakes we learn. Please grade my essay if anyone can from 1 to 6. This is an SAT essay which i wrote it all by myself without help. Thank you all in advance.

ESSAY
Facts that are on the examples does not matter if it's true or false in an SAT essay so please do not grade my essay based on facts !

Assignment: Should people take more responsibility for solving problems that affect their communities or the nation in general?

This world is wounded with problems but to overcome the problems should we people contribute ourselves or the government? Although few might look this into different perspective but majority advocates the idea that we people are responsible for the problems that we face today. For instance, When Dr. Younus mitigated the famine that took place after the 1971 war between Bangladesh and Pakistan and also when the gun massacre took place in Florida USA supports this thesis invariably.

To begin with, Bangladesh won the war against Pakistan in 1971. They were liberated and emancipated from the ruling of Pakistan but Bangladesh was incognizant of the adversities they had to face because of the war and one of their biggest adversities was famine. Bangladesh government remained irresolute on dealing with the famine since it did not have any sufficient resources to fix the economic engine that broke down because of the war but there came a turning point when Dr. Younus came to Bangladesh and fixed that economic engine through micro-financing the people who lived in extreme poverty. He made and came up with new and innovative economic policies that stimulated the economy to move forward.

Another example that supports this thesis is when the massive gun attack took place in Green Mount School in Florida USA. Ever since the attack took place, the US government was quiescent and did not take the necessary actions until the people reacted. The American people went on strike to enforce the government to take the investigations and to take steps to prevent such atrocities in future. Furthermore, the American people not only forced the government to investigate the massacre but also pressurized the government to rectify the gun laws. At the end the US government concluded the investigation and also abrogated the usage of guns since guns engendered the undesirable outcomes in the American society.

In conclusion, today we live in a society where people have their rights to speak, to stand up for problems and to solve their problems. We live in the world where democracy is practiced and democracy unequivocally means that we are responsible for what we are facing today.

Writing Feedback / Knowledge can be either a blessing or a curse for us; how it impacts our actions? [2]

This is an SAT essay and i am preparing for SAT. Please point out my mistakes if there is any so that i can learn and it will be helpful for me. If possible please grade my essay from 1 to 6.Please don't judge my essay based on facts!

ESSAY

Assignment: Can knowledge be a burden rather than a benefit?

Knowledge can be either a blessing or a curse to us; it depends on our intentions and motives on how we use our knowledge to perform an action. Although few might look this idea in dismay or be partial but majority seems to balance the value of knowledge. In most situations one will find out that knowledge has both the palatable as well as unpalatable consequences.

To begin with, Before the French revolution, the French regime charged unfair taxes to the people who lived poverty. Furthermore, not only did they charge unfair taxes but also oppressed, exploited and isolated them from their civil rights. However, after the French revolution, the new French regime became cognizant and rectified their social system so that they could forestall future French catastrophe. The French government redesigned their tax system so that everyone is taxed equally and also they not only learned to look at the concept of poverty in a different way but also learned and came up with ideas to rescue people from poverty. The world took this French revolution as a lesson and emulated there policies with that of French so as to avoid similar catastrophes from happening.

On the contrary, if people like Al Capone have knowledge than the society is at the edge. In the 1990's, in America, Al Capone made a groundbreaking work on making illicit drugs such as Heroin and Cocaine and not only made those drugs but also came up with one of the best "underworld" distribution methods. Subsequently, all the illicit drug dealers followed his methods and were able to find loopholes; through those distribution methods they were able to elude the criminal punishment that they would have been accounted for and the American society would have ameliorated. But the American society was jeopardized because of a pedantic monster.

In conclusion, knowledge can have both the positive and negative impact on us and our intentions and actions is what leads to those impacts. Knowledge is just like a glass where you can pour milk which will give you a lot of health benefits but also you can pour poison to drink to kill yourself, it's up to us to choose to live and be healthy or to kill ourselves.

Writing Feedback / 'People should give up their cars to save the earth.' Do you agree or disagree? [2]

'People should give up their cars to save the earth.' Do you agree or disagree?

Cars are machines built by our own able hands and intellectual minds; to expand the experience of our lives. Majority enjoys this unique experience and it is manifested through its usage and the number of sales in the global market. Cars are one of the things that people can delineate and disparate "21st century" from the past.

In the past, as we have seen, 'transportation problem' was what people emphasized and the negative repercussion that had on the economy was inestimable. People were late to work, transportation methods were poor and people had to spend more time for travelling. However, fortunately the innovation of cars have unraveled those problems in numerous ways. Cars have facilitated the growth of global economy by opening up the 'Car industry'. Businesses flourished through the usage of cars and the improved transportation method. Furthermore, it also alleviated the percentage of unemployment rate because of the car industry. Moreover, more and more people are feeling safe and secured when travelling because of this new cutting-edge.

There have been many criticisms of this new machine. One of which is that it causes deleterious effects on the environment but it was at the inception of the innovation of cars. Scientists have engineered and come up with 'environmental-friendly' cars which not only helps the environment but also engenders positive effects on the environment. Therefore, to put a restraint on cars because of "environmental problem" is to create an environmental problem.

To conclude, Cars are blessings that should be encouraged by everyone and to repudiate this blessing is to repudiate the enviable for a better world and the 21st century that we are looking for.

Writing Feedback / Aristotle: 'being happy is essential for our lives to continue'; Happiness and its importance IELTS2 [2]

IELTS WRITING TASK 2

You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.

Write about the following topic:

Assignment: Happiness is considered very important in life. Why is it difficult to define? What factors are important in achieving
happiness?

Please point out my mistakes if there is any, and please grade my essay from 1 to 9.

Over thousands of years before, Aristotle - a renowned Greek philosopher and a great thinker during his time, came to a surprising conclusion that everyone wants to be happy and that being happy is essential for our lives to continue.

As much as our insatiable desire is to be happy; it is a lot more difficult to delineate, since different people have their own definitions of happiness: some link happiness with their relationships, spirituality, religion, accomplishments etc., while others think of happiness on a materialistic level such as increase in wealth, the cars that they own and other valuable items. Happiness is an abstract and a 'normative' concept, hence making it difficult to define.

I think happiness involves having some degree of self-knowledge - knowing our goals and objectives in our lives or what we love to do which by accomplishing would make us happy, for instance, when I was back in high school; I didn't know what career to pursue and the subjects that needs to be chosen according to the different interests in career. I never knew my goals in life and I was depressed. When I went to my counsellor for advice, she guided me and I knew from then on what I wanted to do with my life - the career that I want to pursue. I felt my body with an overwhelming joy and became committed to my studies and passed my exam with more than just the satisfactory grades.

To conclude, happiness is a normative concept and to be happy we need to be wary of what would make us happy, so that we can accomplish the goal and achieve happiness.

Writing Feedback / Japan and Malaysia in 2010 - Average household spendings by major categories; IELTS TASK 1 [2]

Please grade my essay from 1 to 9 with 1 being the lowest and 9 being the highest.

You should spend about 20 minutes on this task.

The pie charts below show the average household expenditures in Japan and Malaysia in the year 2010.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Write at least 150 words.

The pie charts shown depicts the different proportions of household expenditures in Japan and Malaysia in the year 2010.

There are significant differences in the areas where money were spent on different goods and services between the two countries -- Japan and Malaysia. While a typical Japanese household, proportionately spent most on sundry expenses, a Malaysian household, on the other hand, spent most on housing. Furthermore, Malaysia spent slightly more on food than Japan though the consumption of food were the second-most spent of the total aggregate expenditure. Another point to add is that in a Malaysian household there is a very narrow difference between the proportion of expenditure on food and miscellaneous expenses whereas for a Japanese household it is the housing and transport expenses that had a very narrow difference.

However, for both of the households there is one surprising similarity despite the huge differences which is that the least proportionately money spent were on transport and health care systems.

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  Average Household Expenditures by Major Category
  

Writing Feedback / General debate whether the environment damage is serious or acceptable to the international laws [NEW]

WRITING TASK 2

You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.

Write about the following topic: To what extent should economic planning be influenced by the need of environmental conservation?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Write at least 250 words.

Please grade my essay from 1 to 9 with 1 being the lowest and 9 being the highest.

Recently, there has been a contentious debate between different political and social groups of whether the environment damage is serious or acceptable to the international laws but one thing that is indisputable is that environmental pollution is horribly increasing and nothing has been done to counter the problem -- both objectively and economically.

While the government authorities are cognizant of the fact that environmental pollution is on the rise but since most of them are produced by large multi-national corporations and is a source of large tax revenues; they are faced with a difficult dilemma. Hence, they are irresolute and much time is wasted debating on whether they should give up large amounts of tax revenues to cure the environmental problem or keep earning tax revenues so that they spend more on developing the economy by improving the infrastructures and so forth.

From a scientific standpoint, I believe that it is crucial to alleviate the environmental pollution and remain oblivious to the tax revenues that it will lose because what good is earning an income if people can't live in a suitable environment?

However, from an economic perspective such reckless draconian measures can cause huge problem for the economy because what good is of living in an environmental-friendly place where people will lose jobs from the big corporations and die of hunger?

Therefore to conclude, I think both the tax revenues and environmental pollution should be brought together and compromised so that taxes are earned and also people live in a suitable environment where few pollutions are tolerated if not completely eradicated.