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Posts by choyhar2002
Name: choyhar
Joined: Aug 24, 2016
Last Post: Nov 6, 2016
Threads: 5
Posts: 12  
From: malaysia
School: ukm

Displayed posts: 17
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choyhar2002   
Sep 2, 2016
Scholarship / Chevening scholarship; they are looking for the right individuals with proper skills. [NEW]

Hi , dear all, please kindly assist me in applying the scholarship, thank you so much.

Chevening scholarship:looking for individuals with strong networking skills

Chevening is looking for individuals with strong networking skills, who will engage with the Chevening community and influence and lead others in their chosen profession. Explain how you meet this requirement, using clear examples of your networking skills, and outline how you hope to use these skills in the future.

The most recent accomplishment which required my networking skill was made when I volunteered myself in helping a small and conservative business to further expand its narrow market. They are a small company that produce hand-making gift box with limited machinery aid. After some studies and researches regarding the business nature, I implemented a new way to generate more income by selling their adhesive products and papers for business diversification. I appointed a team to expand the company's networking by assigning them to different tasks:

Marketing, to get new clients- distribute brochures at related exhibitions, place advertisement in leading newspapers.
IT, leverage social media - create a website online, introduce the company, review company reputation, email to new potential clients, and promote business via Facebook and Twitter.

To motivate the team for better performance, I successfully pursuit the business owner to remunerate the team members by commissions when the target growth achieved. In two months' time, they have an added list of new clients and significantly increased revenue, and the business owner is very pleased and keen to keep this new trend of operation management.

Before utilizing my networking skill for the business need, I already started to gain this skill during my university time. I joined a voluntary organization that focus on raising awareness of education needs in rural area. Many families in rural area are struggling for living and consequently ignore the importance of education of their child. I was multi-tasked to raise funds and organize campaigns. By contributing effective ideas in getting sponsorship and publicity, we manage to collect a significant amount of funds and attracted more university students to join us.

We played different roles in that program, and I was entrusted to inspire and mentor a group of student that aged 12-17 to further study. I led my team to deliver messages to both parents and children regarding pathways to higher education by setting up seminars, family visits, games and competitions. We have built up a good and long-term relationship with the villagers. 80% of the student in that village are now enrolling to local colleges or government universities which shows a tremendously growth compared to 12 years back. I am still committed to this community care as I wish to continue my influence for better national economic development where the well-educated workforce is the key.

I believe Chevening will make me a very good example that good education is not only for wealthy and lucky people but for those who work hard and ambitious too.
choyhar2002   
Sep 2, 2016
Writing Feedback / "Employees should dress smartly" - Some companies' rules ask their workers to wear a suit [3]

hi ekalamarsyari, below are my opinions, i am not sure if i am correct.

They believe that workers who dressdressing more fashionable are ...

"it does not matter indeed workers could give their ...

i think this sentence sound difficult to understand. maybe can put it this way?

"Regardless how a worker dress, weather with a fancy branded suit or a pair of comfy casual jeans/ t-shirt, as long as they can perform well and show good result to the company.
choyhar2002   
Sep 2, 2016
Writing Feedback / IELTS Task 2 Fashion Items Cost Much Money [2]

hi Farid,
some opinions of mine:

---The first impressiontoof others is the person'sby people outlook

---However, to have a impressive outlookgood look , it does not cost you a fortune.

-- In fact, many local commodity which ... People can use local one ...

maybe you can put it this way:

In fact, the local made product has better quality than the imported branded stuff. We can still look trendy and smart even with low budget .
choyhar2002   
Sep 5, 2016
Writing Feedback / Invest more resources in young people [5]

hi, here are some of my opinions:

Young generation has a say in the destiny of a nation.
maybe should put it this way ? :young generation always defined as the destiny of a nation

.think that this isa non-guaranteed investment inuncertainly guarantees the long - term development of a country.

On the oneother hand

The youngyouth are often equipped
( u may want to change all "young" to youth)
choyhar2002   
Sep 8, 2016
Scholarship / Individuals with strong networking skill and influence to lead others [6]

Chevening is looking for individuals with strong networking skills, who will engage with the Chevening community and influence and lead others in their chosen profession. Explain how you meet this requirement, using clear examples of your networking skills, and outline how you hope to use these skills in the future.

The most recent accomplishment which required my networking skill was made when I volunteered myself in helping a small and conservative business to further expand its narrow market. They are a small company that produce hand-making gift box with limited machinery aid. After some studies and researches regarding the business nature, I implemented a new way to generate more income by selling their adhesive products and papers for business diversification. I appointed a team to expand the company's networking by assigning them to different tasks:

Marketing, to get new clients- distribute brochures at related exhibitions, place advertisement in leading newspapers.
IT, leverage social media - create a website online, introduce the company, review company reputation, email to new potential clients, and promote business via Facebook and Twitter.

To motivate the team for better performance, I successfully pursuit the business owner to remunerate the team members by commissions when the target growth achieved. In two months' time, they have an added list of new clients and significantly increased revenue, and the business owner is very pleased and keen to keep this new trend of operation management.

Before utilizing my networking skill for the business need, I already started to gain this skill during my university time. I joined a voluntary organization that focus on raising awareness of education needs in rural area. Many families in rural area are struggling for living and consequently ignore the importance of education of their child. I was multi-tasked to raise funds and organize campaigns. By contributing effective ideas in getting sponsorship and publicity, we manage to collect a significant amount of funds and attracted more university students to join us.

We played different roles in that program, and I was entrusted to inspire and mentor a group of student that aged 12-17 to further study. I led my team to deliver messages to both parents and children regarding pathways to higher education by setting up seminars, family visits, games and competitions. We have built up a good and long-term relationship with the villagers. 80% of the student in that village are now enrolling to local colleges or government universities which shows a tremendously growth compared to 12 years back. I am still committed to this community care as I wish to continue my influence for better national economic development where the well-educated workforce is the key.

I believe Chevening will make me a very good example that good education is not only for wealthy and lucky people but for those who work hard and ambitious too.
choyhar2002   
Sep 23, 2016
Graduate / Personal statement to support application into university [4]

Please provide any other relevant information to support your application.
You may want to include answers to the following questions:

1) What are your reasons for choosing to study at Brunel University?
2) What are your reasons for choosing the course?
3) How will this course contribute towards your chosen future career plans?
4) Is there any other relevant information i.e. relevant experience concerning your intellectual, professional, social, sporting or other interests you wish us to consider?


There are some critical criteria I concern in searching universities. The main reason I have chosen Brunel University is the course they offered and it is one of the Chevening partners as I am applying Chevening scholarship. As I am an oversea student, accommodation is a very essential factor to me. By reading comments from students who have studied in Brunel, it seems that the campus life in Brunel is fantastic and student supportive.

I am currently a flight attendant, I have been flying for ten years and I decided this is the time for me to settle on ground. While working in the airline get to deal with people from different backgrounds and cultures, I would like to set my next career goal in human resource management. I believe every organization needs a strong base of manpower as it is the greatest resource to a profitability company. Successful organizations have the right types and amount of people, and able to maintain an effective relationship between employer and employees. Especially when company came out with new policy, it always give different impacts to employee who bear different responsibilities, sometime it motivates everyone in the company while sometime only particular department get the benefit. This has created a strong interest in me to understanding and studying the importance of human resource management, it aspires me to be excel in this field. By choosing this course, Human Resource Management and Relations, I will get to expose to the knowledge of planning, organizing, directing and controlling manpower, which would prepare me to a competent professional and help achieve my life long goal.

I would like to share one of my experiences in communication with people. Before joining the airline, I was an online broker in a securities firm. We bought and sold shares according to customers' orders. Despite being a fresh graduate, after a few months' working in the company, I was appointed to assist a team of university students to complete their internship in our department. Due to our close age gap and similar education background, I got to create a good working environment and maintained effective communication with them. I managed to address their strengths and weaknesses in a short period. Therefore, I could assign them different responsibilities accordingly, and they were able to identify their own weakness and use it as a mirror to help each other to get improve. By leading and serving as an examples, supporting them with necessary aids, a solid foundation of trust within the team was built up. By the end of the internship, they managed to complete their given task with remarkable results and had a clearer picture in pursuing their dream job in the very near future.

I believe with my strong passion in helping and working with people, I can see myself becoming a great HR professional who can have a profoundly positive impact on people, providing welfare to employee and at the same time meeting the company's goal.
choyhar2002   
Sep 23, 2016
Undergraduate / Tell us an experience in school or out that taught you something about yourself or the world around [4]

Hi ROfiat, some of my view on your writing:

-- I was used to being on my own with few friends because I was shy to make new friends.
you said you were on your own, but what is it with new friend? sounds contradiction?
are you trying to say: I was hardly make new friend and always on my own?.

--so when the time comes to choose a class leader

maybe you can say it in this way : and that was the time to choose a class leader

-- When I asked my friend thatwho nominated me why did she do that

--who has led her classmates
who led the class
choyhar2002   
Sep 23, 2016
Writing Feedback / IELTS - Children start school at the age of 4 or 7 ? [6]

HI IIMi, some of my view:

less than five years old is not a wise decision.

-- children aged four to six years old haveare in their golden age

--There has been an evidence that two out of ten childre

--All in all, bringing children to ...
all in all ?are you trying to say "after all" ? or "Therefore"?
choyhar2002   
Oct 26, 2016
Scholarship / Human resource management and the marketing communication and advertising - why these courses? [6]

Outline why you have selected your chosen three university courses, and explain how this relates to your previous academic or professional experience and your plans for the future.

After a detailed research and long consideration, I decided to give two chances to my most aspired course: human resource management in two different universities and put the last egg into the marketing communication and advertising course. This two courses would complement to my previous degree, economics and would help develop my personal competencies in the fast-moving market.

I have been a flight attendant for ten years and I decided that now is time for me to settle down and pursue higher education in order to obtain a more stability job on ground. While working in the airline get to deal with people from different backgrounds and cultures, I would like to set my next career goal in human resource management. I believe every organization needs a strong base of manpower as it is the greatest resource to a profitability company.

Successful organizations have the right types and amount of people, and are able to maintain an effective relationship between employer and employees.
When companies come out with new policy, they always have different impacts on employees who bear different responsibilities. Sometimes it motivates everyone in the company while sometimes only one particular department gets the benefit. This has created a strong interest in me to understanding and studying the importance of human resource management, it aspires me to be excel in this field. By studying either in Oxford Brokes or Brunel university, I will get to expose to the knowledge of planning, organizing, directing and controlling manpower, which would prepare me to a competent professional and help achieve my life long goal.

On the other hand, I always keep myself open to challenges and opportunities. My outgoing personality and inquisitive mind has discovered my ability in marketing skills. My past achievements in marketing serve as a great proof and has motivated me.

I have chosen marketing course in Kingston University because it provides comprehensives marketing knowledge and definable skills which are pivotal to successful business management. I will get to enhance my future employment prospects, enable myself to flourish in the crowded and complex market. Its research and work based project give opportunities to integrate, apply and extend knowledge while gaining closer contact with foremost organizations.

As I am currently working in the airline, both courses allow me to be able to continue my service in the company beside as a flight attendant. I have been in the company for such a long period, I have witnessed the company's rise and fall and how we have together gone through it and expand. Thus, I believe, by completing the master course, I will definitely become one of the key person who bring the company to further growth.
choyhar2002   
Oct 26, 2016
Scholarship / Chevening Essay - Architecture Student (assess if the essay is correctly answering the brief) [3]

Hi ichephe,
you are doing great!
you really have done your research for these essays and I believe you are on the right direction.
I have some opinion for the grammar:

"most people have the habit to littering"(have littering habit)
my friend asks why you did that.
(Why did you do that,I explaiNed....)
In a group work or organization,
(In a work group....)
choyhar2002   
Nov 3, 2016
Scholarship / Human resource management and the marketing communication and advertising - why these courses? [6]

hi HOLT,

Truly thank you for the highlights. i was actually misunderstood of its requirement and thus out of the track.
Here i re-write again, please kindly give comment and correction
.

After a detailed research and long consideration, I decided to give two chances to my most aspired course: human resource management in two different universities and put the last egg into the marketing communication and advertising course. [...]
choyhar2002   
Nov 4, 2016
Scholarship / Human resource management and the marketing communication and advertising - why these courses? [6]

HI Mary,

Regarding the achievement of my marketing skill, i already had it written in another the chevening question (i afraid it may be duplicated here, so i did not mention again)

and i re-arrange the paragraph and add some sentences discuss about how the first 2 courses
again , thank you for your time for going thru my essays and keep giving me advises.
choyhar2002   
Nov 6, 2016
Scholarship / My immediate plan is to be one of the company's human resource management soul person [2]

HI, it is coming to the deadline of the application, please do give comments and grammar correction .
thank you so much.

Chevening is looking for individuals who have a clear post-study career plan. Please outline your immediate plans ...

After years working in the airline, my immediate plan is to be one of the company's human resource management soul person who working with people from all over the countries in the department. As the different background and cultures always create unnecessary misunderstands and consequently effecting optimal productivities, my short term goal is to sow the seeds of a harmony yet competent working environment in the company. Besides render aid to the foreign new comers, the local employees are equally important and worth to be motivated. I believe by the knowledge I would gain from the world top ranking university, I would definitely come up with plans that provide welfare to employee and simultaneously fully utilize the benefit of it to increase company profitability.

I would give myself a maximum of three years' time to master the art of managing people, then I would like to arm myself with an extra personal skill by enroll to another master course- marketing. As working in the airline is talking about connecting passenger from all around the world, my aim is to promote my country as the best tourism country and improve its reputation. By implement various irresistible budget and exclusive travel packages, open up new destination regionally and internationally, affordability of people to travel to places increased, not only local tourism industry accelerated but the growth of the whole national economy also improved.

After mastering the two pivotal skills and gain the essential working experiences, I will be working towards to my life long career goal which is to set up my own human resource consultancy firm. I will play an important role in the unemployment rate, foreign labor force issue, acquire expertise and professional either from overseas or cultivate locally. My consultation firm will help organization to explore potential talented person, provide them appropriate advises to upgrade their knowledge and skills. Just like the chevening program, which recognize and value people with great leadership and provide them with world top education opportunity. The benefits of it are globally and lengthy, which create great relationship between countries and lead to a peaceful world with less economic and cultural violence. Hence, my goal of building my own business is not only materialistic gain but also completing the big puzzle by helping each other.
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