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Posts by FatemahEbrahimi
Name: Fatemah
Joined: Oct 9, 2017
Last Post: Jul 17, 2018
Threads: 5
Posts: 11  
From: Afghanistan
School: Rabia-e-Balkhi

Displayed posts: 16
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FatemahEbrahimi   
Jul 17, 2018
Letters / Motivation letter for DAAD scholarships, Master of Development and Governance course [2]

University of Duisburg-Essen application



With this letter, I submit my application and express my motivation for enrollment to the Master of Development and Governance course at University of Duisburg-Essen.

Afghanistan, with more than three decades of war, struggles with plenty of crisis specially in implementation of democracy and good governance. Relationship based appointments and corruption has suffered meritocracy. Growing up in such circumstances, I become interested in politics when I was a young student in school. Thus, I persuaded my bachelor degree at Law and Political Science faculty. I never missed any opportunity and took many internships and part time jobs during my bachelor's degree. Also, I was elected as head of Dormitory Girls Association for two years. I valued this opportunity and despite building up my managerial and leadership skills, I appeared as a capable problem solver and influencer of dormitory girls. With limited sources, we could conduct language and computer courses for dormitory girls and advocate for development of a library within dormitory. Since 2014, with a group of volunteer, young, motivated, and committed women, we established an NGO named Empowered Women Organization (EWO). The aim of this organization is to empower women through their educational capacity building and engagement to social activities.

Working for years with different public and private organizations resulted with deep understanding of need for capable and educated policy makers to with modernize understanding of democracy implementation at different level of government agencies in Afghanistan. Through my knowledge and experience, I find democracy as a unique social and political system which paves the way for equality of all the people. I believe that new born leaders with new thought should be equipped with policy making knowledge and modernize understanding of effective democracy system implementation in developing countries like Afghanistan. Instantly, this new born leaders and policy makers will take part in public and private institutions and become the change we aim. As a future leader, this master program will expand my knowledge and experience to even more theoretical and practical aspects of good governance and public policy.

Studying and doing research are things I would like to devote myself even more. Unfortunately, in Afghanistan we face with lack of specialized master program in the field of Public Policy, in which I would like to take my master's degree. Thus I have decided to study in Germany, land of academic opportunity. Since, I am unable to fund myself, I found out DAAD scholarships as a unique opportunity to achieve my goals. Top quality and excellent teaching and research methods of German Universities would equip me with intellectual abilities and personal skills. Unlike Afghanistan, where education system is one of the main target of terrorism, Germany is a safe place to develop my knowledge and potential. I consider it the most valuable experience that I could meet students from all over the world, learn from diversity and their cultures and join the real global community.

Returning back, in the first step, I will dedicate my time to implement the gained theoretical knowledge in to practical efforts with the EWO to contribute the most vulnerable part of the society. Most specifically, I will work for increment number of our beneficiaries. In long term, I as a new-learnt leader, will fill the scarcity of tailored and well-educated authorities, and accelerate the process of reconstruction in a new route.
FatemahEbrahimi   
Jul 17, 2018
Letters / Judging book by its cover - Letter to my future roommate, Stanford essay [3]

I don't know exactly about the standard structure, but, try to write in short and complete sentences instead of run-on sentences. the uni may want to see how well you can interact with others, so try to focus on your sociable and helpful habits. also it is not about guy living in another room but about some one living in the same room with you. also try to show your respect to him/her and her privacy.
FatemahEbrahimi   
Jul 17, 2018
Writing Feedback / Should school leavers take a year off before going to university? [4]

Vendetta,
in my opinion, generally your essay is very well structured and organized. but, your reasons for disadvantages are not so strong or even much interesting.

the below sentence is very long and needs run-on correction. since the first sentence is importance and the map for the rest of the paraghraph.

Looking at the disadvantages of taking a year off...
FatemahEbrahimi   
Apr 9, 2018
Scholarship / "I will benefit directly" - A short essay for OFID scholarship [3]

Dear All,
I am looking forward for your nice comments. Thanks

scholarship and my plans in Afghanistan



PROMPT:

A short essay - of about 500 words in English - giving reasons for applying for the OFID scholarship, explaining your educational goals, and clearly describing how you will use the experience gained from your Master's degree studies to help in the development of your home country.

Essay:
Afghanistan is one of the least developed countries which has the highest rate of human rights violation. Its citizens still suffer from human rights abuses and Afghan government fails to promote and protect these rights. One of the main reason is a lack of human rights experts and professionals who can design and implement programs to safeguard the rights of the people effectively. Hence, I have chosen to pursue my master degree from UK in Human Rights. UK is an advanced human rights society. I will benefit directly from interacting with academic staff who are working at the cutting edge of the human rights field, producing innovative and internationally-recognized research. I have been admitted to Kingston University to pursue my MA in Human Rights for the years 2018-2019. It will give me an opportunity to intellectually examine the subject from various angles particularly minority protection and human rights.

I persuaded my bachelor's degree from Law faculty of Herat University, Afghanistan, so, I was able to get 89.4% (GPA 4.0) grades. I studied various subjects related to the human rights and have education foundation for this subject. I have worked in the field of Rule of Law and Women Empowerment since 2013 in different Public and Private Organizations. I realized the lack of accessibility to basic rights of women and children and the crucial need for promotion and protection of their rights in a war-torn country. Also, as a women rights activist, I have voluntary worked with a non-profit organization called Empowered Women Organization (EWO). The aim of EWO is to empower uneducated and deprived women and by this way, I am trying my best to establish a sustainable linkage with the deprived and vulnerable people in the society.

I came from a middle-class family which cannot afford to my postgraduate studies. I have read through OFID Scholarships and they perfectly align with my career ambition in development of human rights. In current situation, which Afghanistan struggles with the lack of standardized postgraduate studies, it is crucial to pursue my master's degree with one of incredible university of a developed country. I am much elated that the OFID gives opportunities for less privileged scholars like me to pursue their educational dreams in some of the best Universities in the world, a chance I intend to effectively utilize.

With the potential I would have upon returning back after my master's degree, I plan to work as a human rights expert with Afghanistan Independent Human Rights Commission (AIHRC) Women Rights Unit, to design comprehensive development plans and mechanisms to promote human rights situation of Afghanistan. My foremost concentration would be female prisoners', which are the most deprived part of society, capacity building and increment of access to fair trail and justice. I would strive to utilize my knowledge and experience to develop and implement technical and advisory support programs to female prisoners.
FatemahEbrahimi   
Apr 9, 2018
Scholarship / Describe the efforts you have undertaken so far to obtain information on your study options? [4]

I haveheard about ...
Since then, I have been attracted to....
In 2014, I hadopportunity ...

Dear Roi,
I read trough your essay many times but I am still confused what you want form the essay. you know you did not provide any prompt and it is not clear whether it is personal statement or any kinds of other. please write down your prompt so we can help you better.
FatemahEbrahimi   
Apr 9, 2018
Graduate / Personal Statement for MA Conflict, Governance and International Development [4]

dear Wuhne,
in my opinion our personal statement should be well ordered in the first and discuss our self in the best way. mainly it consists of three parts: our background, the reason for chosen subject and its relation with our professional and academic background and our future goals.

you didn't ordered it chronologically and it is very separated. try to give the reader at first a little bit about your self. in the end you do not have a clear future plan as well.

I hope it helps you.
FatemahEbrahimi   
Oct 29, 2017
Scholarship / After my graduation upon returning back to Afghanistan, my plan is to work with the UK projects [3]

The future career plan



After my graduation upon returning back to Afghanistan, my immediate plan is to work with the UK projects. I am expecting to have a career related to human rights, in UK's Department for International Development (DFID) funding project. Though, Afghan women's empowerment is an important UK priority, one of the new UK's assistance to Afghanistan project is to boost access to education of women and girls through DFID. I will apply the knowledge I gained and work as a profession of human rights with UK's mission to increment the women awareness and their access to education. Science, these projects are aimed to be delivered by 2020-2023, by the time, I am able to use my specialized education to enhance my experience.

Afghanistan seriously needs human rights experts and professionals in different institutions, Afghanistan Independent Human Rights Commission (AIHRC) critically needs human rights experts and professionals and most of the human rights commissioner do not have degree and specialize knowledge on human rights and rule of law. Also, the Ministry of Justice critically needs human rights expert in legislative area and Human Rights Support Unit, Afghan universities lacks human rights and rule of law professionals and experts as well. Therefore, with the potential I would have, I have plan to work for the next years as a human rights' expert with AIHRC Women's Right Unit. My main concentration would be female prisoners' capacity building and access to fair trail and justice. As the UN's progressive reports indicate that female prisoners face with major problems such as: the lack of sufficient female attorneys and prosecutors, low level of women's awareness of their judicial rights, unfair treatment and lack of sufficient shelters for the protection of fugitive and released women. Through the supportive and protective role of AIHRC, I would strive to utilize my knowledge and experience from UK to develop and implement technical and advisory support programs for these women to maintain the rule of law, justice, equality, and good governance in Afghanistan. Moreover, conducting of awareness programs within prisons could help them to be aware of their rights in their case processing and as a prison.

In my long term goal, these opportunities would help me to enrich my knowledge and profession in human rights and aspire me to work as a Commissioner of AIHRC. In connection and collaboration with international human rights and empowerment of women institutions, Afghan governments and domestic organizations, I would assist for developing appropriate developmental policies and mechanisms towards legal awareness, gender equality, and access to justice for the vulnerable people specially women and girls. I hope to utilize the knowledge, experience and network that I would bring back with myself from Chevening to help me pursue my short and long term career goals. Specifically, in seeking employment in DFID's project.
FatemahEbrahimi   
Oct 29, 2017
Scholarship / Support till achieving an ambition is the leadership ... [7]

Asmaa,
Try to not put the definition of leadership, instead try to express the elements of leadership in yours believes. Your firs two instance are academic, as I have learnt from this website, you should express your professional examples that show your influence and leadership abilities. you just mentioned that you lead your classmates or in the first you got the degree. They are not powerful enough to support you are able to become a leader in the future.
FatemahEbrahimi   
Oct 29, 2017
Scholarship / One of the key to success is establish connection. Writing essay about networking [3]

sidiqs
However, your writing has a lot of grammatical and spelling problems, you need to work on the content as well. I am confusing with your second paragraph starting sentences. I could not get what you mean by (Approach type with operator and engineer are different. Need special effort if in touch with operator, since operator especially senior operator is conservative person who not willing to change their mindset.)

Try to be clear in your narrating. Here are some example and there are lots of others as well.
During my working at the XXX, I have met a lot of employees which had different disciplines and characters, hence those issues can be applied to me as lesson learned and made me to learn more.
FatemahEbrahimi   
Oct 22, 2017
Scholarship / I have chosen the following three courses in UK universities for specific reasons. [6]

studying in the UK universities question



My first chosen course is Human Rights in London School of Economics and Political Science, University of London, which is one of the foremost social science universities in the world. This program provides a concentrated year-long engagement with the foundations of human rights and key human rights issues. Also, the course is unique in linking legal, philosophical, sociological and political perspectives on human rights though a rigorous and analytical approach. In my law I have studied human rights during my second years of university. During my bachelor, I became an intern in Herat branch of Afghanistan Independent Human Rights Commission (AIHRC). Where I understand the need for promotion and protection of human rights in the backward country like Afghanistan. In the future I would like to devote my time to increase access to human rights and freedom of people. And through the Empowered Women Organization, I will work for adoption of measures to improve and promote the human rights situation in the country.

The second chosen course, is International Human Rights (LLM) in City, University of London. City is ranked in top 20 UK universities in the Guardian University Guide 2017. I am interested in the intersection between human rights and international law and this unique specialist LLM allows me to explore how international law intervenes to protect human rights. Afghanistan is a less developed country in the field of access to fundamental human rights, as the AIHRC reports continuously shows. My experience is consisting of activities to protect human rights through women's support programs and awareness of people. This course would enable me to develop my career in human rights law and take part in policy-oriented activities through private NGOs and international organizations I am working with. It gives me an opportunity to examine intellectually the subject from various angles - minority protection, human rights at times of war, the prosecution of international criminals, to name a few.

Public International Law in University of Aberdeen, is my third choice. it covers a range of courses that explore international contemporary issues. It analyses topics such as International Law's role in preventing international terrorism, the protection of human rights and the law on international organizations. As I am working in a career in international legal consultant, this program provides me with a thorough knowledge of Public International Law. Its impressive modules are suitable for me, who I am seeking the qualification of a lawyer with a range of special interests in international human rights law and politics of human rights.

Through these courses, I am able to enhance my knowledge and profession in related subjects. The most important thing the L.L.M may bring me is the profession. studying in one of the leading universities of a fully developed country will of course come to a good conclusion and a real profession besides that being in an academic environment will help me learn many potential skills.
FatemahEbrahimi   
Oct 22, 2017
Scholarship / My responsibilities as a leader. 2017 Chevening Essay - Leadership and Influence Question [3]

Dear indha, I am preparing for chevening as well and I don't say I am in the position to advise you, but, what I already gain from my preparation is a few things. First, in your first example you did not show how your activities and skills affected the company to earn best booth award. You also have mentioned that you lead a group and narrated your responsibilities, however, you have to explain how you managed your skills to lead a group and what was your achievement in position of leadership. You don't have to say what made you nervous, instead you can tell us how you were able to solve the problems using your leadership skills. Try to show both your leadership and influence skills in your examples. The instance you put for the influence skills is not to related.

By the end of your essay try to tell how you are able to use your leadership by awarding the chevening and your impact on the chevening community.
FatemahEbrahimi   
Oct 9, 2017
Scholarship / Networking can pave the way to engage each other in the community - Chevening Scholarships [3]

Networking skills question - Chevening Scholarships



In my opinion, network can pave the way to engage each other in the community, and to have impact to lead others in their chosen areas through strong coordination and cooperation of a group members. As I have established my strong academic and professional networking through active participation in the community, exchange of ideas and extensive debates. From academic perspective, I have applied my networking skills, with participation in more than twenty seminars and workshops in our university, which had been held by national and international organizations. For instance, I had participated in British Parliamentary Debate (BPD) in 2013. The national round had held in Kabul, with participation of almost 2600 debaters from more than 25 Universities around the country. Where, in final round, I had the opportunity to meet chief of Party of Afghanistan Social Organization (ASO). He inspired with my intensive communication and information. And, he asked me if I could work as intern with their NGO after my graduation. I started my career soon after graduation as intern and in fact, I realized the crucial impact of networking in professional growth of my colleagues and fellows.

From professional employment perspective, I have effectively developed my networking and engaged as court management specialist with national and international agencies, such as the Supreme Court (SC), Ministry of Justice (MOJ), USAID, GIZ, JSSP-INL, and many other private sectors like Afghanistan Independent Bar Association (AIBA) and the Adam Smith consultancy. I had the opportunity to show my networking skills, first when with a team of specialists, I had to conduct Afghanistan Court Administration System (ACAS) assessment in all provinces. Through an effective cooperation, we could influence the SC and our donor, on the need for establishment of a united Case Administrative System. Thus, a united, formal and effective Case Administrative System was established.

From my interpersonal relation perspective, I have always remained in contact as a civil and women rights activist within community. I have membership of three strong women's networks such as, the Afghan Women Network (AWN) and Empowered Women Organization (EWO). For instance, as a representative of EWO I have participated in a women rights conference in Kabul. I could clearly explain the EWO and our effective contributions regarding empowerment of women's economy. Also, two women that have had their own clothing shops, were invited, to state the contributions they received. Hence, donors such as TAWANMANDI and micro finance banks interested to our activities and become our future partners.Also, our activities were expanded to two other provinces as well.

I do believe what I have mentioned above are samples on how the networking skills were supposed to be utilized in order to make a positive influence. In the future, I will devote my opportunity to developed my networks with the Chevening community to keep us connected with each other in post the Chevening program. The network that I have built will definitely have mutual benefits to all the Chevening awardee, future scholars and alumna, throughout cooperation and mentorship.
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