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Posts by thuhabk
Name: Bui Thu Ha
Joined: Aug 1, 2018
Last Post: Nov 17, 2020
Threads: 5
Posts: 10  
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From: Viet Nam
School: Hanoi university of technology

Displayed posts: 15
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thuhabk   
Nov 17, 2020
Writing Feedback / Some people argue that individuals' freedom should be in accordance with laws and rules, otherwise, [2]

Some people argue that individuals' freedom should be in accordance with laws and rules, otherwise, society cannot function as it should be.

To what extent do you agree or disagree?



It is argued that society would perform its right function only if citizens obey their country's laws and rules. While I agree with this statement, I also think that it is still difficult to have an ideal society although individuals adhere to regulations.

It is undeniable that laws play a crucial role in maintaining the political and economical stability of a nation as well as bringing a peaceful life to citizens. Firstly, the number of criminals and illegal activities would increase dramatically if people were lawless. This poses huge threats to people's peace and social security. For example, recently in Hochiminh city, a significant rise in robbery cases not only causes a loss of safe for innocent people but also seriously affects local security. Secondly, laws are effective in orienting people to moral values which are accepted as social ethic standards, helping people avoid negative consequences caused by moral degradation. Taking the law on marriage and family, for instance, adultery under this law will be heavily punished, therefore it contributes to preventing adulterous relationships as well as ensuring each family's happiness.

On the other hand, I also believe not all people's compliance with the regulations and laws also allows creating a society more orderly. The reason is that in fact, there are numerous laws and rules which could be made illegally or are not suitable for the practice of human life. They would cause countless inconveniences and hassles to both citizens and authorities who follow and perform these laws. If citizens are forced to follow these laws, a country would also become an oppressive society, which makes people dissatisfied and the laws act as barriers to the development of a country and therefore society could not function as it should be.

In conclusion, I reaffirm that society could not operate correctly if people do not follow laws and rules. However, I also think that a country also could not go far if laws are issued illegally or not suitable to most of the people's lives in society.
thuhabk   
May 27, 2020
Writing Feedback / Ielts2 - The equal amount of money to both medical research and the protection of environment [3]

Please help me review my essay. Thank you very much!

GOVERNMENT SHOULD SPEND MORE MONEY ON MEDICAL RESEARCH TO PROTECT CITIZENS' HEALTH RATHER THAN ON PROTECTING THE ENVIRONMENT.

DO YOU AGREE OR DISAGREE?



It is said that government funding for the care of habitants' health should give preference to medical research over the protection of environment. From my opinion, I disagree with this view and would argue that people's health would be completely protected if government allocates the equal amount of money to both medical research and the protection of environment.

To begin with, there are a number of reasons why government should spend money on medical research. Firstly, these days, there is an increase in human illnesses are caused by the infection with new virus species that people do not have not a clue about them, of which consequences could be unpredictable and unprecedented. For example, the covid-19 pandemic caused by novel coronavirus took a heavy toll on not only millions of people's health all over the world but also the global economy. Therefore, investing public money in medical research for the discovery of timely vaccines and cures for this new coronavirus disease is urgent in order for the situation not to worsen infinitely. Secondly, many dangerous diseases such as cancers, or strokes cause high death toll but there still fails to have optimal methods or effective drugs for the treatment of these illnesses. As a result, it is necessary to conduct more medical research on these diseases to improve human well-being and increase life expectancy of people.

On the other hand, maintaining environmental sustainability should also be set the same government budget as medical research. It is evident that the environmental pollution is considered as the major culprit which poses a serious threat to people's health since a vast number of diseases of people results from living in polluted surroundings. For example, air or water pollution could lead to long-term health problems such as cancers, cardiovascular, or respiratory illness. Consequently, financing public money to the protection of environment such as developing waste treatment technology or conducting environmental awareness campaigns contributes to reducing the negative impacts of environmental pollution on people's health.

In conclusion, I think that both medical research and the protection of environment play an equally important role in protecting citizens' health, and government should spend the equal budget on both of them.
thuhabk   
May 21, 2020
Writing Feedback / These days, it is true that parents do not spend much time on their children [2]

Please help me review my ielts writing task 2

Today, parents spend little free time with their children.


Why is it the case? Who are more affected? Parents or children?


These days, it is true that parents do not spend much time on their children. There are a number of reasons for this, and from my perspective, this tendency have more profound impacts on children than parents.

To begin with, the major reason why parents spend less time taking care of their offspring is that parents are busy working. In a modern society today, the high cost of living and increasingly competitive job market drive parents to become workaholics. This means that adults could undertake extended hours of work such as taking night shifts or working overtime and only return home till late at night. Therefore, it is really difficult for parents to set aside their quality time with their children. Furthermore, taking care of children sometimes take a great deal of effort and time, meanwhile, adults tend to take the rest of the day to unwind and recharge their batteries when coming back home as they experience a hard-working day. So, parents often let their offspring play with babysitters or technical gadgets such as smartphones, computers or tablets. This also explains why the time that parents spend on their children is increasingly little.

Children are more vulnerable to the detrimental effects of deficient interaction with their parents. This is because children are in the stage of shaping their personalities and behaviors, and therefore, very need the care and education from their parents. Without adequate supervision and advice of parents, children can easily go on the wrong track such as committing crimes, drug addiction. Even though children can suffer from psychological crisis or unexpected behavioral changes such as mood swings, depression, emotional distress, which could do harm to children's physical and mental health.

In conclusion, I think that parents today do not spend enough time for their children, which creates a more destructive effect on children than parents.
thuhabk   
Jan 2, 2020
Writing Feedback / IELTS TASK 2: Some people think that the use of computers should be restricted. Do you agree or not? [4]

Hello,

I think your point of view in the essay is clear. However, you should use collocation to express ideas correctly, avoid words which have the too strong meaning and arrange ideas more reasonably.

I have tried to paraphrase some sentences in your essay in the simpler way for your reference, and hope it is useful for you.

Best regards.


There is no doubt that the rapid advance of science and technology, typically such as a computer, results in beneficial changes to people's life. Nevertheless, I would argue that it should limit the access to computers in the light of its negative influences on people's health and thoughts or characteristics.

On the one hand, it should be borne in mind that people's health may be severely ruined by their misapplication of computers. Firstly, gazing at screen of a computer for hours may cause people to get eye problems such as eye strain, myopia. Secondly, the electromagnetic waves emitted from computers may diametrically affect people's ... why some people have unendurable headache after ... Furthermore, lack of doing exercise due to sitting still in front of a computer screen can put you at risk of osteoarthritis and obesity.

On the other hand, using the computer uncontrollably exerts negative impacts on people's thoughts and personality. The first reason is that the overuse of computer can make people indolent, not willing ... Likewise, the internet is fraught with malicious information such ..., which imparts negative thoughts and inappropriate actions to youngsters. Hence, they will be badly affected by these factors, which forms abhorrent ...
thuhabk   
Aug 7, 2018
Writing Feedback / Having Children Later in Life. Why is this trend occurring? What are the impacts of this development [3]

@TriceLiu
Hi,
After reviewing your essay, I think you have many good ideas for your essay. However, I also find out some mistakes and hope that my suggestion may help you:

1. Error of run-on sentence: This is why a significant ...
-> ... children until they have necessary resource enough to raise a child. Therefore, they could take ten or more years to do this.

2. Not the same of structure: ... ,worsening the ageing of population.

3. Unclear sentences:
A fallen number of babies means... -> A decrease in the number of births would hinder future economic development because of an insufficient workforce.

Nowadays increased number of ... -> Nowadays, the number of couples who wants to postpone childbearing to a later phase of their lives is increasing.
thuhabk   
Aug 6, 2018
Writing Feedback / Writing task 2: economic growth - environment protection [3]

economic development destroys the environment



Topic: Some people say that economic growth is the only way to end hunger and poverty, while others say that economic growth is damaging the environment so it should be stopped. Discuss both views and give your opinion

In almost all countries, economic development has long been seen as the key to reducing hunger and poverty. However, economic development also simultaneously destroy the environment, so some people think it is better to stop economic development. I would argue that developing the economy and protecting the environment should be carried out simultaneously to ensure sustainable development of each country.

On the one hand, one of the reasons which cause hunger and poverty is unemployment problem. As a result, it is believed that economic development can provide job opportunities for local people, therefore helping them have incomes to release from hunger and poverty. Indeed, the emergence of many new factories and industrial zones create a variety of jobs for local people. To develop the economy, modern machines and advanced technical science are used in many fields to raise quality and productivity of products, such as agricultural field. Relying on that, yields of crop plants and domestic animals have risen steadily, so ensuring enough food resource to supply for every people in case a famine occurs.

On the other hand, economic development also produces negative effects on our environment. This makes people's life be seriously affected. Tourism is considered one of the measures to develop the economy of local areas. However, tourists who threw away litter into the sea, the land... pollute the sea or land environment so killing many animal specials. Toxin chemicals, harmful gases, wastewater... released from industrial factories contaminate water or land recourse, making citizens more susceptible to irreversible diseases including tuberculosis or lung cancer.

In conclusion, the governments should integrate developing the economy with protecting the environment to obtain stable and long-term developments.
thuhabk   
Aug 6, 2018
Writing Feedback / Integrating countries into solving environmental problems or fixing it each one separately [3]

I think some sentences in your essay are unclear so I suggest some amendments on them. For example:

1. "Those seminars focusing on young generations ..." -> Young generations of countries will have more chances to attend those seminars, so they can together contribute and share their new ideas as well as experiences of the environment protection and raise awareness about the same for their communities. Therefore, a network of handling environmental problems can be strongly created between countries.

2. ... a hand in preventing the degradation of the environment as well as protecting the environment.
thuhabk   
Aug 1, 2018
Writing Feedback / More and more animal species are becoming extince by human activies in land and sea. [4]

More and more animal species are becoming extince by human activies in land and sea. What are the reasons and solutions?

saving endangered species



Nowadays, a variety of animals is killed by people so they are standing in danger of extinction. The essay below will analyze some major reasons for this stituation, and measures to tackle this problem will be presented.

One of the main causes of this problem is that people have the demans of using animal's parts for many different purposes such as producing medication, cooking the nutrious meals or manufacturing luxury products, etc. This leads negative effects on wildlife, making them stand in danger of extinction. For example, every year in Japan, a big amount of whales is killed to serve luxury restaurants. Hundreds of elephans or rhinors are hunted and taken ivory or horn to produce jewellery such as rings, or medication. In addition, strong development of sea tourism also makes sea environment become seriously pollute. In particular, visitor who could threw away litter into the sea and oil released from boats carrying them are also the other reasons of the extinction of marine animals.

Some measures are suggested to mitigate the stituation. That is the government should further provide strict punisment to prevent the illegal hunting and trading of animals. In addition, it should have many educational programs to heighten individual's awareness in the protection of animals. For examples, people should be taught about how to protect sea and land environment and animal species living there when they were children. As a result, they can understand about the importance of animal species and have a better awareness to preserve the natural environment.

In conclusion, the risk of the extinction of a variety of animals is current urgent problems so that people needs to have effective measures to protect them.

PS: I am learning writting skill for IELTS. Please help me check and review. Thank you very much.
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