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Posts by imhana
Name: Run
Joined: Sep 14, 2019
Last Post: Oct 10, 2020
Threads: 5
Posts: 9  
From: Indonesia
School: Indonesia

Displayed posts: 14
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imhana   
Oct 10, 2020
Scholarship / Motivation to Create Sustainable Environment - Chevening Studying in the UK Essay [3]

Hi @Holt and other reviewers. Kindly give me your advice for my studying in the UK essay as one of the requirement to apply for Chevening Scholarships. Thank you.

STUDYING IN THE UK



Outline why you have selected your chosen three university courses, and explain how this relates to your previous academic or professional experience and your plans for the future. Please enter new information and examples here and not duplicate the information you have entered on the work experience and education section of this form (minimum word count: 100 words, maximum word count: 500 words)

The rapid rate of industrial growth in [city name] has caused several problems, especially for settlements that are located close to the industry. Air pollution due to emissions released by flue-gas stack, seawater pollution due to discharge of factory wastewater into the sea, the strong smell of ammonia, solid waste management problems is a few examples of environmental problems experienced by buffer zone community.

Hence, professional environmentalists are being asked to create sustainable community development programs as a form of corporate social responsibility. This is both conceptually and technically difficult to achieve and requires expertise and skills that are in critically short supply in Indonesia specifically [city name] as a remote area surrounded by the sea. This has motivated me to pursue a Master's degree in Environment and Development. Combining my work experience in environment and CSR along with my academic background in Urban Planning with a specialisation in Natural-Resources and Environmental Management make my case to switch careers.

Ironically, marine pollution is common things occur in [city name], for instance, environmental degradation in shores, decreased number of fish population and coral bleaching. Upon completion of MSc Environment, Politics and Society in UCL, I will have a critical understanding of social, economic, cultural and political processes to tackle these environmental issues. Next, by learning Marine Conservation, I will have an understanding of the impacts of climate change and human activity on the marine environment so I can define the tools required to maximising sustainable social and economic benefits from their marine environment through sustainable management approach.

As an Environmentalist, I experience that Indonesia still dealt with policy and planning issues that led to environmental challenges. Achieving MSc in Environment and Development in University of Edinburgh will be a robust foundation for me, to gain expertise and critically evaluate the multiple dimensions of the inter-relationship between development and environment. Moreover, as this course covers a broad spectrum of environmental assessment including survey and monitoring, I will be prepared to overcome my company's main problem which the lack of evaluating the report of community development programs that have been conducted.

From my three-year experience working in petrochemical company, I understand that a targeted yet sustainable becomes essential in every Community-Development program. By having an MSc in Environment and Development from University of Leeds, I will have the skills and knowledge required to further develop my company Community-Development programs to resolve strategic issues that occur in buffer zone area. By having a strong foundation in Business, Environment and Sustainability, this course will broaden my knowledge of strategies for achieving and implementing environmentally sustainable business practices to reduce business negative impact on the environment.

All three courses provide international fieldwork providing networking and practical experience. As an Environmentalist with hands-on experience in environmental management and Community-Development, I want to develop skills in other environmental principles and development planning and these three courses will wide my perspectives and give me bases to cooperate with related stakeholders in challenging situations to contribute for environmental sustainability in Indonesia.
imhana   
Oct 10, 2020
Undergraduate / Common App Essay - Prompt 4 "how I defeated my social anxiety" [3]

Hi there!

I fully understand that your major problem is in the lack of communication but from your essay especially in the part that you do a volunteering activity in Haya's Cultural Center it did not clearly show how you overcome your issue. I think you need to give a further explanation about how you overcome your communication problem before you explain about another expreriences.

Good luck!
imhana   
Oct 10, 2020
Scholarship / Inspiring people to search for the common good and making a positive effect in our personal growth [4]

Hi there!

From my point of view, your essay did not clearly describe yourself as a leader as well give an influence to your local community. You need to clearly explain what kind of leadership that you try to build based on your case.

Beside of it, I think your story related being a music teacher is irrelevant to this essay because you supposed to be explain about the leadership and influence story related to your professional or academic background.

Hope my review can help you. Good luck for your Chevening application!
imhana   
Oct 5, 2020
Scholarship / Community Empowerment Through Networking - Chevening networking essay. [2]

Hi @Holt and other reviewers. Kindly give me your advice for my networking essay as one of the requirement to apply for Chevening Scholarships. Thank you.

NETWORKING ESSAY


Chevening is looking for individuals with strong professional relationship-building skills, who will engage with the Chevening community and influence and lead others in their chosen profession. Please explain how you build and maintain relationships in a professional capacity, using clear examples of how you currently do this, and outline how you hope to use these skills in the future.

(minimum word count: 100 words; maximum word count: 500 words)


It is said that the connections we make at college will be beneficial to our professional lives. I can attest to this fact.

Accordingly, through active communication that I built with my lectures, in seventh-semester he asked me to join university community-development projects as a Facilitator to guide civil servants to create spatial and a-spatial databases in XXX sub-district. Moreover, besides my role as Facilitator, my University elected me as a representative-student to presenting XXX sub-district planning report compiled by me and my team. Afterwards, during discussions, the civil servants provide valuable feedback and offer to support most recent data to improve the report. As the result, through this project, I was able to create an ever-growing network of professional and personal contacts with local authorities, who are willing to help me if I need additional data for further research.

After graduated, by maintaining the strong bond of networking through intense communication with my lectures, the university invited me to join another university community-development projects. This project aims to help local authorities to create a population database in remote areas namely YYY sub-district.

Accordingly, with these professional experiences, I recognize my passion for community-development. Hence, to pursue my passion, I apply for a job in my current work-place as an Environmentalist in a petrochemical company in [city name].

Moreover, as an Environmentalist, my duty not only limited to supervised environmental monitoring but also responsible for improved award achievement, for instance, Programme for Environmental Performance Rating (PROPER). National PROPER consists of eight assessment including a strategic program for community-development through social-mapping in buffer zone area which has higher-scores among other assessments. Consequently, to design social-mapping report that can answer community needs, specifically marginalized-groups, I work hand-in-hand with multistakeholder consisting of local government, grassroots, my company and the community itself. Moreover, as an attempt to do monitoring and evaluation of programs, I maintain these professionals network through active monthly discussion with related stakeholder to discover current issues in buffer zone area. As a result, my company successfully received a Green Rating in 2019 National PROPER assessment meanwhile in 2018 my company only received Blue Rating which a lower rating than Green.

Beside of maintaining network among CSR stakeholder, I also broaden my professional network with local environmental agency through an intense discussion and sharing knowledge, for instance, when I compiled a study-related 3R-based PPE waste management for "XXX XXX" project. The agency extremely enthusiast with this project because no one ever initiates this program in this city. Furthermore, this project contributes to additional score from the environment category for Regional PROPER and my company successfully received a Gold rating for the assessment.

I believe that networking is nothing without added value. As a prospective Chevening-Scholar, I plan to engage other scholars, alumni and my network who share similar passions in SDGs to develop sustainable planning through the community-development program. Furthermore, I plan to collaborate with UK Department of Climate Change along with my company to tackle environmental issues through CSR program in [city name].
imhana   
Oct 5, 2020
Scholarship / Networking is all about connecting people with meaningful ideas for growth--Chevening scholarship. [5]

I agree with @Holt that this is more suit to leadership essay rather than networking. If you write it as a leadership this essay will totally be a perfect one.

I think you have to start working on and develop this line "This birthed a meaningful relationship between me and my group and also gave me opportunities to work with governmental departments, community leaders and experts from various organisations"

You can give a further explanation of why this networking is beneficial for you and the reason you can get a job from this network should be highlighted too in your new essay.

Good luck!
imhana   
Oct 5, 2020
Scholarship / Pursuing a new challenge passionately -- GKS 2021 UNDERGRADUATE [3]

From my point of view, your prologue is too long and some of it is not really important to be mention in your essay. You can short it out into 1-2 paragraphs only and stick to the important thing that you want to highlight to the reviewer.

Another thing is, this is a formal essay so please remove abbreviation like etc from your essay.

I think you do not provide a strong reason about why you choose that program. Instead of saying you are feeling stuck in your current country, I think it is best for you to say something more meaningful like "the program aligns well with my future goals because .............."

I hope this review can help you to create a more powerful essay. Good luck!
imhana   
Oct 5, 2020
Scholarship / Leadership as an Environmentalist - Chevening Scholarship [4]

Dear @Holt I highly appreciated your constructive feedback. I thought at first it is not necessary to mention the process to get the permission from the management in my company so I did not mention it in my essay. Here is my revision of the essay. I would greatly appreciate your feedback. Thank you.

Solid waste management issue specifically Personal Protective Equipment (PPE) wastes is one of biggest challenges when managing factory. This is mainly due to increasing generation of such solid waste and burden posed on company budget.

Currently, I working in petrochemicals factory located in [city], [country]. The plant has 246 employees. Therefore, total PPE wastes for a year is more than 200 helmets and 350 pair of shoes. That is absolutely a huge amount of waste, consequently, the cost of managing this waste is extremely expensive. Hence, my passion for sustainable-environment issues eventually brought me to initiate an environment-based program namely "XXX XXX" by reuse and recycle used helmets and shoes as planting media. Through this programme, company would be able to implement several key initiatives to improve waste management and move towards sustainability.

The challenging part of this project is when I have to get permission from the Management to run the program. Therefore, I compiled a study related to 3R-based PPE waste management and presented the results to them. Some people in management do not agree with this program because they were afraid the garden will make company look shabby.

Therefore, I convinced the management that this project would not make company look shabby. Instead, with this project, company's image will improve especially among environmental agencies because the company implemented the concept of 3-R to overcome waste-management issue. Additionally, in an attempt to improve the looks, the garden will be laid out as a vertical garden with the shelf of helmets, decorating shoes with ribbons, painting helmets in different colours, planting a various type of plant which can absorb emissions, for instance, snake-plant, devil's-ivy, chrysanthemum-flowers and Chinese-evergreen and also providing chairs around the garden, so that people can relax while breathing fresh air.

After holding a BOD meeting considering various aspects and also assessing my ability and experience up-until-now in managing a project, management finally decided to allow me to run this programme.

Furthermore, this project help me to develop my influencing-skills through a challenging situation when I have to persuade other employees to contribute and participate in planting event. Most of the employees argued that it was not their job to preserving environment around factory. Hence, to gain their trust, I visit every section in my company and give further explanation about positive impacts of this program for corporate image and as alternative place to relax at break-time. Thankfully, all the sweat and dedication turn out into beautiful collaboration even some of my colleagues from Mechanical section offer help to make plant shelf and General-Affair section offers help to paint the helmets.

The output obtained by implementing this program can save company expenses for waste management up to IDR 1,080,000 in 2019 and most importantly it can contribute to reduce climate change. Henceforth, based on my experiences, I believe that I am a suitable candidate for this scholarship, as I've had experiences in managing people, influencing, and eventually giving impact on the sustainable environment in my home nation.
imhana   
Sep 15, 2020
Scholarship / Leadership as an Environmentalist - Chevening Scholarship [4]

Hi @Holt and other reviewers. Kindly give me your advice for my leadership and influence essay as one of the requirement to apply for Chevening Scholarships. Thank you.

Leadership and influence


Chevening is looking for individuals who will be future leaders or influencers in their home countries. Explain how you meet this requirement, using clear examples of your own leadership and influencing skills to support your answer.

(minimum word count: 100 words, maximum word count: 500 words)


My passion for sustainable-environment issues eventually brought me to initiate an environment-based program in my current workplace which is petrochemicals factory located in [City], [Country]. The plant has XXX employees. Every employee is required to use Personal Protective Equipment in the plant.

Every week, there are about 4-5 employees and 8-10 employees who exchange their damaged helmets and shoes. The total for a year is more than 200 helmets and 350 shoes. That is absolutely a huge amount of waste, consequently, the cost of managing this waste is extremely expensive. Therefore, I initiated the eco-friendly garden program from used helmets and shoes namely "XXX XXX" then use the waste as planting media.

The challenging part to run the program is when I have to persuade other employees to contribute and participate in the planting event. Most of the employees argued that it was not their job to preserving the environment around the factory. Another challenging part is because more than XX% of the employees are older than me.

Hence, in order to gain their trust, I decided to visit every section in my company and give further explanation about the program specifically the positive impact about this program for the company expenses, corporate image and for the environment. As the result, the program runs smoothly even some of my colleagues from the Mechanical section offer help to make plant shelf and General Affair section offers help to paint the helmets.

Additionally, to make this program sustainable, I initiated further programs by using left-over shoes from the previous project as a bird nest. I come up with this idea because [Place] is well known for its biodiversity flora and fauna. Hence, I initiate to collaborating with the photography community in my company because the community had difficulty capturing good pictures of birds. However, this program required a lot of effort and equipment because I also planning to put the nest in my company arboretum. This project is more challenging because all members refused to participate. I felt so frustrated and sad by the harsh rejection. Afterwards, I decided to make some nests with my colleague and hanging it on trees then adding some food like seeds and fruit on it to attract birds to stop by and visit the nest. Thereafter, I take pictures of some birds and squirrel that visiting the nest and show the pictures to the photography community. Thankfully, all the sweat and dedication turn out into beautiful collaboration to create a birds nest from used safety shoes in my company arboretum.

The output obtained by implementing this program can save company expenses for waste management, application of 3R, support the conservation of flora and fauna and most importantly it can help to reduce climate change. Henceforth, based on my experiences, I believe that I am a suitable candidate for this scholarship, as I've had experiences in managing a team, influencing people, and eventually giving impact on the sustainable environment in my home nation.
imhana   
Sep 15, 2020
Scholarship / "As high as the sky" - KGSP PERSONAL STATEMENT INTERNATIONAL RELATIONS MAJOR [3]

Hi @JPM21

I think you use too many quotes for the beginning of your personal statement. I think instead of writing a bunch of quotes, it is better for you to share your vision and the main reason why you choosing that programme.

Another thing that you have to change is, this is a formal essay so please do not use a word abbreviation word like etc.

"Behind my good personality, I ... when doing something." From my point of view, I do not think that this statement is appropriate enough to be written in your personal statement.

Another thing that you have to revise is your closing statement, that closing statement is really weak so please expand it and clearly stating the conclusion why they have to choose you and why you are worth to be chosen.

Good luck! I hope you can get that scholarship.
imhana   
Sep 15, 2020
Undergraduate / The next generation of technology - Personal statement for apply the British university. [3]

Hi @Voidburn Rong

I think it is better for you to make a personal statement based on this questions to make your personal more structured:

1. why you want to study XXXX programme?
2. why you want to study XXXX programme at XXXX University?
3. what particularly attracts you to this programme?
4. how your academic and/or professional background meets the demands of a challenging academic environment?
5. where you would like to go professionally with your degree?

To be honest with you, I can not see the pattern of your personal statement, by answering those questions I think it will be easier for the college admissions to understand and review your personal statement.

Good luck! I hope you can get the offer!
imhana   
Sep 15, 2019
Scholarship / Sustainable development - How Network Shaping My Future - Chevening networking essay. [2]

Hi everyone! I need your help to give me a feedback for my Chevening Networking Essay. Your feedback will be much appreciate.

Chevening is looking for individuals with strong professional relationship-building skills, who will engage with the Chevening community and influence and lead others in their chosen profession. Please explain how you build and maintain relationships in a professional capacity, using clear examples of how you currently do this, and outline how you hope to use these skills in the future. (minimum word count: 100 words; maximum word count: 500 words)

the added value



It is said that the connections we make at college will be beneficial to our professional lives. I can attest to this fact. Through the network that I built with my lectures in the first semester at the university to help his project as a Research Assistant. Then, through this network, my lecturer promoted me to the faculty to aid community-development projects held by university. For example, guidance civil servant to create spatial and a-spatial databases in Pamulang sub-district and create population database in remote areas namely Kemang sub-district. Furthermore, my function in this project not only as a Research Assistant but also as a facilitator so I can explore my leadership, analytical thinking and ability to solve problems. Additionally, through this project I was able to create an ever growing network of professional and personal contacts with local authorities, who are willing to help me if I need research data for those areas.

The problem that I face at the university regarding networking is the absence of a Student Executive Board. So, it prevents me to expand my network. Consequently, I join organization outside the campus for volunteer activities namely Indorelawan. Moreover, the activities I have participated in, such as #CleanUpJakartaDay, development of education and health for children in the scavenger villages, collaborating with Jakarta Smart City in data collecting for SME in Jakarta and becoming a Trafi application surveyor to provide real time information for various types' urban transportation modes.

In addition, I expand my network in volunteer by participating international volunteer activity held by UN, Tanzania Development Trust and Crowd2map in mapping projects aiming to put rural Tanzania on the map to help girls in the Serengeti region from Female Genital Mutilation. Having better maps helped prevent 2257 girls from being cut in the 2016/7 cutting season. 1076 girls were cut, down from 3700 the previous year, and 4 girls edited, down from 12 last year.

Besides of international network in mapping projects, I had built an international network when I worked at the Singapore Embassy in Jakarta. During my work at the embassy I had the opportunity to build my networking with people at the top level such as diplomats from various countries, international organizations and ministries. In order to maintain our solid relationships, we held Embassies Gathering and Singapore National Day event. Additionally, through those events I have relationship with diplomats, ministries staffs, entrepreneurs and local staff from various embassies. Thankfully, with a strong networking combine with experience mention above, I was able to get my current job in the petrochemical industry.

I believe that, networking is nothing without added value. As a prospective Chevening Scholar, I plan to engage other scholars, alumni and my network who share similar passions in sustainable development to develop peripheral areas (3T) in accordance with President Jokowi's Nawacita (development agenda) for a better Indonesia. Lastly, as a Chevening Alumni, I will actively participate in the Indonesian Chevening Alumni Association to strengthen relationships among the United Kingdom, alumni and scholars.
imhana   
Sep 14, 2019
Scholarship / The brave, judgment, strong and honest... Assessment of Chevening leadership and influence essay [3]

Hi Tidy7353!

Just a little feedback regarding your Chevening essay. Could you please edit the first sentence of second paragraph because it's a little bit confusing. Please use the right punctuation on your essay so it won't be confusing the reader.

And there's a lot confusing words as well that make your essay hard to understand at the first glance. By the way, I'm working in the same field as you which is in HSE. As per my understanding for this "reduction in the number of incidents and near miss" maybe it is better to change it and replace it with "Zero Accident" record and work hours that your company ever achieved so far. Then you can mention about the program that you initiate that make a safety environment in your company even better.

Good luck with your essay!
imhana   
Sep 14, 2019
Writing Feedback / Environmental problem and increasing the price of fuel [3]

Hi Pleiziii!

Just a little feedback to you. Maybe, instead of mention electric vehicles it is better for you to mention solar system as the substitution for the fuel because in some countries electricity still produced from non-renewable natural resources which still can damage the environment and lead to climate change as well.

Good luck with your writing!
imhana   
Sep 14, 2019
Scholarship / Leadership as an Urban Planner - Chevening scholarship on leadership skills essay. [2]

Chevening is looking for individuals with strong professional relationship-building skills, who will engage with the Chevening community and influence and lead others in their chosen profession. Please explain how you build and maintain relationships in a professional capacity, using clear examples of how you currently do this, and outline how you hope to use these skills in the future. (minimum word count: 100 words; maximum word count: 500 words)

my experiences in managing a team and influencing people



I believe that leadership is one of my strongest qualities as I've had times where I needed it to manage my team at early stage of study. Back to second semester at the university, I had to learn to become a Team Leader for Planning Process Studio and led four members. In order to achieve a better understanding with this studio, I always applied brainstorming and critical thinking methods before and after discussions. Based on discussion and study of the area, it was found that the problem that occurred in our study area namely East Pamulang Urban Village was poor drainage which causes flooding. Afterwards, a planning report is made to overcome the problem which is applying ∆Q Zero Policy principle then we also made a proposal to the local government so the problem can be resolved. Furthermore, as a Team Leader I learned many things, not only how to delegate work fairly but also technical matters that required me to guide team members. For example, teaching how to make a basic map so that they can develop the map into various kinds of maps needed in our studio such as distribution of facilities and infrastructure maps, population density maps, spatial patterns maps, etc.

After I graduated from the university, I was given a chance to accompanying my lectures in my university community development as Research Assistant and Facilitator in underdeveloped area namely Kemang sub-district in Bogor Regency. The problem that occurs in this area is the lack of population data so that the local government has difficulty identifying its citizens. As a facilitator, I had the opportunity to guide civil servants in Kemang Sub-district on how to compile a population database based on family cards compared to existing data and data that has been owned by Statistics Indonesia. Besides, I also held discussions with the local government to find out the population data that they needed to make this activity more targeted. In addition, I also have initiative to add data variations for example, the population pyramid and make the display of the data base easier to use and access.

My passion in influencing people eventually brought me to initiate an environment-based program in my current workplace, namely PT. Kaltim Methanol Industri (PT. KMI) which is petrochemicals industry. PT. KMI has 246 employees. Once a year, every employee is required to replace safety shoes and safety helmet with a new one then the waste will be destroyed so total of waste per year is 492 pieces. Therefore, I initiated the "Eco-friendly Garden" program to used safety shoes and safety helmet waste as a planting media. In the beginning, I convinced the management to approve this program, as this could be the company's efforts towards Green Company. Then I persuaded my colleagues to contribute and help in this program by donating used shoes and helmets and assisting in planting plants on their own stuff With the initiation of this program the waste can be used as a container for planting various types of plants that can absorb air pollution and nuclear radiation around factories such as Sansevieria, Spider Plant, Chinese Evergreen (Aglaonema) and Epipremnum aureum. The output obtained by implementing this program is that it can save company expenses to destroy waste, creating a greener work environment and most importantly it can help absorb emissions around the factory.

Henceforth, based on my experiences, I believe that I am a suitable candidate for this scholarship, as I've had experiences in managing a team, influencing people, and eventually giving impact to a rural area in my home nation.
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