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Posts by Thao4real
Name: Nguyễn Thị Minh Thảo
Joined: Apr 4, 2020
Last Post: Nov 18, 2022
Threads: 4
Posts: 7  

From: Viet Nam
School: Võ Minh Đức

Displayed posts: 11
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Thao4real   
Nov 18, 2022
Writing Feedback / The pie charts below show units of electricity production from fuel sources in Australia and France [2]

electricity from different fuel sources



The pie charts delineate the figures for electricity production from fuel sources in Australia and France, between 1980 and 2000.

In short, coal took the lead for the electricity product in Australia while nuclear power was the main source in France. The amount of electricity by different fuel sources was not similar in both countries.

According to the given pie charts, in Australia, the total electricity production was only 100 units; however, it doubled in the year 2000.There were 50 units and 20 units of electricity produced by coal and hydro power, respectively in 1980. Besides, the oil contributed to only 10 units of electricity. Then, the year 2000 witnessed a considerable increase in the usage of coal which accounted for 130 out of 170 units.

Furthermore, it was shown that electricity production in France was apparent. At the beginning of the period, the dependency on coal denoted as 25 units, followed by a sharp decrease in 2000. In contrast, nuclear power became the primary source, holding 126 units.





  • Australia
Thao4real   
Nov 18, 2022
Writing Feedback / The table below shows daily oil production in 4 countries from 2000 to 2004 [3]

"while a gradual decline in oil production was seen during the period" I guess you forgot to mention about the country. In addition , your overall is quite long. Furthermore, I see some errors in your body so it may reduce your score. Before submitting your essay, please check it again
Thao4real   
Nov 18, 2022
Writing Feedback / IELTS 1: The increases and decreases of CO2 emissions per person in four european countries [3]

I think you should use " between....and .....". In your sentence, you use " between 1967 to 1977". In addtion, you don't describe detail about Portugal which makes readers really confused when they read about. Because you say it " fluctuation " so you should give them more informatuin about that. Moreover , I think you overuse a structure "from about 8.8 tonnes to 10.2 tonnes" and

"from nearly 11 tonnes to 5.2 tonnes ". It may reduce your score so I hope you will have other structures to back up your body
Thao4real   
Nov 18, 2022
Writing Feedback / The percentage of age groups in the population of Yemen and Italy in 2000 and predictions for 2050 [4]

I think that you shouldn't use "firstly". After finishing your overall, you can write "According to the given chart", "As can be seen from the chart ". In your body, you can use words as "It is noticeable that" , for example

Instead of using " secondly " -> "On the other hand", " Turning to .... " .
You should have more complex sentences in your body.
Thao4real   
Nov 18, 2022
Writing Feedback / The charts; the percentage of boys and girls aged 5-14 taking part in cultural activities and sports [4]

I don't think you should use "while " at the beginning of the sentence, and "while significantly more males than females took part in sports" sounds strange to me. In addition, I guess "most cultural activities were more popular among girls than boys except playing musical instruments" may have some errors. For me, I think you should rephrase it again .

For me , I will rephrase it " There are more boys interested in cultural activities than those of girls, except playing musical instruments"
Thao4real   
Apr 23, 2020
Writing Feedback / The table below gives information about the languages that high school students speak at home in one [3]

IELTS Exam Preparation - IELTS Writing Task 1



The table illustrates the data about the languages which are used by secondary students in their houses in one US school district. Overall, Spanish is the most common language while Nepalese shares the least.

To describe the information in a few more detail, was on the first place, accounted for nearly 15,110 speakers in 2008. After that, from 2014, there was a significant rise in student numbers speaking this language,with number doubling.At the same time,Korean and Vietnamese were alike that they were both reducing the number of students.

On the other hand, it can be seen that unlike Polish, Nepalese numbers increased dramatically to 438 and turned Polish to be the last place in 2014. Similarly, Chinese and Arabic were simultaneously 4670 and 1320 people whilst Russian represented 1656 students. However, we can see that no other languages can beat Spanish as none of them reach to the fifth of the Spanish.
Thao4real   
Apr 5, 2020
Writing Feedback / Some people believe that hobbies need to be difficult to be enjoyable. [2]

Is a "complicated" hobby more respectable?



These days, it is considered that pastimes require more of a challenge. In my opinion, both kind of hobbies can bring you joy and I strongly disagree with the idea that leisure time has to be complicated and uneasy to get.

To start with, there are many people find straightfoward entertainment interesting. One reason behind that is people do not have to take a lot of time or become skilfully. Furthermore, modern equipments are not needed as they do not pay amount of money on that. For example, I enjoy drawing since I was a child but actually I do not do it well. Despite that, I feel enjoyable as I can do whatever you want.

On the other hand, there are other type of hobbies which are relatively as difficult tasks. For this reason, it may need a lot of hard -working and practice to gain success.Moreover, there are those peple who are ready to splash out to feel a sense of achievement on passion as sky-diving, feeding a tiger,... For instance, the piano are expensive and I had to try to read music and play both hands to play it. As a result, it took me more than a year to do it but now, I am proud that I am able to perform in front of everyone as a accomplishment.

To conclude, all kind of pastimes can be fun and exciting. I personally trust that if we are interested in it, we will never think it boring.
Thao4real   
Apr 4, 2020
Writing Feedback / Reducing global warming damage should be handled by governments rather than inviduals. [2]

Who is responsible for reducing global environmental hazards?



In this day and age, it goes without saying that global warming is a hot topic that people have concerned. In addition, it is believed that governments should take responsibilities for minimizing the bad effects of global warming. However, it is believed that people can mitigate environmental damage. From my part of views, I support this view with arguments in the following paragraphs.

To begin with, governments should introduce laws to limit emissions from factories. Moreover, they can reuse energy as solar, water snd wind power. Actually, they can work out with the organization to protect green house emissions to make atmosphere cleaner and healthier.

It is certainly that if governments and individuals should work together. Governments mitigate the problem of over consuming and reduce the fossil fuel usage and people ought to launch eco products to safeguard environment. Last but not least, governments have to punish strong penalty those destroying the forest .

On the other hand, saving electricity is needed as it saves a thousand pounds of carbon dioxide a year. Apart from that, people need to plant trees and drive less as possible as they can. Next, they will have a awarness how to preserve our mother nature and they may take part in Earth day which is a meaningful event to preserve environment

All things considered, global warming is a main threat to human, wildlife and ecosystem of the planet. Both governments and individuals are responsible for reducing global environmental hazards .
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