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Posts by tuanhntta2020
Name: Nguyen Thi Tu Anh
Joined: Sep 3, 2020
Last Post: Sep 19, 2020
Threads: 4
Posts: 9  
From: Viet Nam
School: THPT Chuyen Bac Ninh

Displayed posts: 13
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tuanhntta2020   
Sep 19, 2020
Writing Feedback / WRITING TASK 2: ADVANTAGES AND DISADVANTAGES OF TAKING A GAP YEAR [2]

It is becoming increasingly popular to have a year off between finishing school and going to university. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this?

There has been a considerable increase in the number of graduated students choosing to take a gap year. In my opinion, this matter has both pros and cons and my essay will throughly illustrate the points.

To begin with, taking a gap year can unexpectedly have positive impacts on students' skills and experience. Many teenagers do not truly understand their ownselves and have no clue of what they have interest in or what they want to do. Therefore, having some time off before attending higher education systems can encourage students to have a deeper insight into their dreams and hobbies so that they can be well-prepared for their futures. Secondly, this year off will be such precious time for teenagers to explore the world and gain more experience by themselves. For example, working as a part-time employee, learn a new skill or travel to a few new nations will broaden students' knowledge and create more new aspects of life. Indeed, going for a gap year is beneficial for students in many ways.

On the contrary, the period of a year off could counteract if it is not spent wisely. In other words, a huge number of students lost their motivation in working and studying after a few months from graduation. If they can not pull themselves together during this gap year, students will not gain any benefits from this time. More seriously, they can waste all those time in losing track of their original plans and goals.

In conclusion, taking a gap year has both advantages and disadvantages so that students should consider throughly whether they should opt for this decision or not.
tuanhntta2020   
Sep 19, 2020
Writing Feedback / From the given line graph: how much chicken, beef, lamb and fish were consumed, by grams per person [4]

Hello there!!! After reading your essay, I have some suggestions for you so that you can improve your essay next time.
First, the phrase " any other food listed in consumption" confused me and I think "consumption" was the wrongly-used word. You need to fix this phrase.

Next, the sentence "A similar downward spiral was ..." had some grammar mistakes, leading to the confusion of the sentence.

I really hope my comment will help you in some ways!!!
tuanhntta2020   
Sep 18, 2020
Writing Feedback / WRITING TASK 1: how bottled and canned gas drink are produced [3]

THE DIAGRAM OF BOTTLED AND CANNED CARBONATE DRINK



A glance at the given diagrams shows how bottled and canned gas drink are produced. Overall, it is patently obvious that there are six stages in this process, starting with filtering the water and ending with the distribution of carbonated drinks to the supermarket.

At the first step of the process, after the water is collected, it will go through a filter to eliminate germs or unhealthy things. The next step begins when the water goes through the heating and cooling pipe, the temperature of the water will be adjusted to a suitable level. After that, the water is carbonated in the third step and for the fourth step, the sterilized water is combined with the syrup mixture. Besides, color is also added in this stage. Then, the drinks are packed in either cans or bottles. In the final stage, the completed products are transported to supermarkets and are ready to be consumed.



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tuanhntta2020   
Sep 16, 2020
Writing Feedback / IELTS Writing Task 2 - Newspapers and books in the future [3]

You have misunderstood the question and written wrong introductuon. I think that this mistake can be quite serious when it comes to grading. If you want to discuss both views of the topic, you can say:" I partly agree with this statement" and then discuss both sides. And your conclusion is a bit blunt too, you need to clarify it.

Hope this helps!
tuanhntta2020   
Sep 16, 2020
Writing Feedback / Many women are choosing to have children later in life. Why? Do advantages outweigh disadvantages? [3]

I think that you should try to divide the main points into separate paragraphs so that it can be easier for the readers to keep track. However, you have quite good understanding of the topic and you have given some interesting points in your essay. Maybe, you just need to work with the structure and the clarity of the essay.

Hope this helps!
tuanhntta2020   
Sep 14, 2020
Writing Feedback / WRITING TASK 1/ THE MAPS BELOW SHOW THE VILLAGE OF STOKEFORD IN 1930 AND IN 2010 [3]

The given two maps show how the village of Stokeford changed during a period from 1930 to 2020. Overall, the village experienced a reduction in the size of farmland area as well as a significant increase in the number of new houses after almost a century.

In 1930, the village consisted mostly of farmland with a shop, a primary school, a post office and a few houses. Moreover, there was a large house built on the gardens located to the east of Stokeford.

By 2010, the village changed considerably by the total disappearance of farmland and a soaring number of new houses built along the main road. The main road running through the town was expanded into many routes and the primary school was also enlarged. The size of the gardens was narrowed and the former large house was turned into a retirement home. The only things that remained the same were the post office and the bridge crossing the River Stoke.



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tuanhntta2020   
Sep 11, 2020
Writing Feedback / IELTS task 1 Distribution of water [5]

I believe that you should try to write more complex sentence and use words used for describing pie charts in Task 1 like 'account for', "make up for".etc...

And I found your essay quite difficult to keep track. In this essay. I think that you should divide the essay by use of water, not by countries.Like how is the amount of water used for argiculture differs in different areas, something like that

English is not my mother tongue so I find it is very hard to express my idea. However,I hope this helps
tuanhntta2020   
Sep 11, 2020
Writing Feedback / IELTS TASK 2 : Problems of living in a country where you have to speak a foreign language [5]

I believe that the introduction of you essay is quite out of the topic. The topic mentioned problems so you need to paraphase from the topic, not by creating a new meaning of the topic.

Moreover, your body paragraphs are not logically written. You did not separate topic sentence, explanation and example clearly.
I am just a new one to IELTS so these are my own perspective and opinions. Hope this helps
tuanhntta2020   
Sep 6, 2020
Writing Feedback / WRITING TASK 1/ THE AMOUNT OF ELECTRICITY PRODUCED BY DIFFERENT ENERGY SOURCES TO SUPPLY NY CITY [3]

energy from coal, natural gas and petroleum



The given line chart illustrates the total quantity of electricity came from various types of energy sources, which was used to serve the needs of New York City during a twenty-year time from 1980 to 2000. It can be seen that while both the amount of eletricity produced by petroleum and natural gas experienced an upward trend, that generated by coal decreased slightly. More notably, the highest figure in the graph was more than 700 millions of kilowatt hours of electricity made by petroleum and the quantity of power developed by natural gas went through the most significant change.

From the starting point of the timeline, the amount of electricity formed by petroleum was approximately 350 millions hours, which was the largest figure. In another hand, that figure of coal was about 200 millions hours and the lowest figure went to natural gas of 100 millions hours.

After 20 years, the quantity of power developed by natural gas rocketed to more than 500 millions of hours, grew by 400 millions hours. The total hours of electricity profuced by petroleum also experienced a considerable rise to 700 millions, despite an dip from 600 millions to less than 400 millions in 1990. However, the hours of power generated by coal declined slightly to nearly 200 millions hours, after increased moderately to 300 millions hours in 1985.



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