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Posts by Eabc
Name: Code Blaster
Joined: Sep 17, 2020
Last Post: Sep 24, 2020
Threads: 4
Posts: 9  
From: Oman

Displayed posts: 13
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Eabc   
Sep 24, 2020
Writing Feedback / VARIATIONS IN THE USAGE OF TRANSPORTS - IELTS writing task 1 [2]

Table: Average distance in miles traveled per person



The table below gives information about changes in modes of travel in England between 1985 and 2000. Describe the information in the table and make comparisons where appropriate.

ยป Write at least 150 words.


The table depicts the variation in the usage of different means of transport in England in the years 1985 and 2000. The distance travelled by each type is given in miles.

Overall, mostly the number of various means of transport increased over the period. Whereas some of them such as walking, use of bicycle and local bus decreased. Moreover, cars were most popular among the people while taxis were the least favoured.

In the year 1985, the proportion of people who travelled by car was approximately three-fifth of the total. Nevertheless, the distance travelled by taxis averaged 13 miles only. The rest of the modes accounted for distances less than 500 miles.

In 2000, the distance travelled by most of the means of transport increased. With one-third increase in the use of cars and slightly less than three times increase in the use of local distance buses. However, use of some of them such as walking, bicycle and local bus declined. With almost 50% decrease in the distance travelled by local bus.



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Eabc   
Sep 23, 2020
Writing Feedback / IELTS Writing Task 1 - Line graph: Radio and TV audiences in UK October - December 1992 [4]

@ ngthuta
You have many mistakes related to tenses.
"more people prefers" - it should be 'prefer' or 'preferred' because people is plural which should be followed by verb without 's'. Another mistake in the same sentence is that it is not clear whether you are writing the sentence in present simple tense or past tense. It's better you choose any one.

"more people prefers radio ... many of them spent ..." - write either preffered and spent orprefer and spend.

Similarly,
"population started their ... of them choose to watch TV" - start and choose or started and chose.

".... and fall steadily ..." - fell

The above is my personal opinion not expert one. Please correct me if necessary.
Eabc   
Sep 23, 2020
Writing Feedback / IELTS Writing Task 1 - Line graph: the figures for passenger railway journeys in the UK [4]

@ngthuha
"a considerably increase" - In my opinion it is a grammar mistake, either you can write 'a considerable increase' or 'increase considerably'. This is because a verb is followed by an adverb not the other way round.

You have also missed a full stop in the last sentence of your second para. It is very crucial to not miss appropriate puntuation.

This is my personal opinion not an expert one. Please correct me if I am wrong.
Eabc   
Sep 23, 2020
Writing Feedback / Unsupervised social media usage by youngsters is dangerous. Discuss problem & suggest solutions. [5]

@Holt
Please check if I have written it correctly this time.

In present times, the development of social media has left the internet surfing of teenagers unsupervised.This has lead to the rise of a multitude of problems such as they becoming a victim of cybercrimes.My purpose in writing this essay is to suggest some measures that can be taken to tackle this problem.
Eabc   
Sep 23, 2020
Writing Feedback / Work performance factors - Bar graph - IELTS writing task 1 [2]

factors affecting work performance



The bar chart below shows the results of a survey conducted by a personnel department at a major company. The survey was carried out on two groups of workers: those aged from 18-30 and those aged 45-60, and shows factors affecting their work performance. Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information shown below.

The bar chart illustrates the outcomes of a survey done on two categories of people aged 18-to-30-year-old and 45-to-60-year-old, highlighting the factors that affect their work performance. A personnel department conducted this survey at a major company.

Generally speaking, various factors have a greater impact on 18-to-30-year-old people than the elder workers. From the graph, it can be observed that mostly there is no significant gap in the factors affecting both the groups with notable exceptions in four factors namely: chance for personal development, relaxed working environment, job security and promotion prospects.

With respect to people aged between 18 years old and 30 years old, factors such as chances for personal development, relaxed working environment, promotion prospects and money affect their work performance by more than 60%. Whereas only 30% of people are affected by the work environment.

In terms of the elderly people, only about 20% of employees are affected by job security. While money is the most important factor for more than 60% of them. Moreover, there is a significant gap in the proportion of elderly and the youth by a ratio of three to one for three out of ten factors.

One more useless comment or incorrect thread title = ban.



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Eabc   
Sep 23, 2020
Writing Feedback / The proportion of male and female students studying six art-related subjects at a UK university [4]

@an12102000
"It is noticeable that males ..." - This is a big mistake in your analysis as the figures are other way round .i.e. It is the no. of females that surpass the no. of males.

You can also better organize the content by writing 2 body paras : The male students para and female students para.

The above is my personal opinion not an expert one. Please correct me if necessary.
Eabc   
Sep 22, 2020
Writing Feedback / Unsupervised social media usage by youngsters is dangerous. Discuss problem & suggest solutions. [5]

Limitless internet surfing of teenagers



In present times, the development of social media has left the internet surfing of teenagers unsupervised. This has lead to the rise of a multitude of problems which holds potential danger to them and society. My purpose in writing this essay is to suggest some measures that can be taken to tackle this problem.

When youngsters especially the teenagers are left unsupervised while using social media apps in order to meet and chat with friends, then become vulnerable to explicit content they may come across. Moreover, it is a trend nowadays to send a friend request to anonymous people on social media. According to youngsters, this is something cool and adventurous but they are unaware of the cybercrimes that may happen on this platform. For instance, one of my classmates was cyberbullied by teenagers who were much older than him, last year. Similar cases are reported every day all around the world. This problem may also have a life-long impact on them.

In order to tackle this problem, the elders can anonymously become a friend of them on social media. They can then keep a track of their activities. In this way, the youngsters would not know that they are being supervised by the elders. In addition to that, the ones who are supervising would get to know what kind of content are the children browsing and what is their friend circle. Therefore, they can easily guide them when they feel that youngsters are going in the wrong direction. For example, in the case of my classmate, he came out of that problem when one of our school teachers anonymously became a friend of him on social media and helped him out.

To conclude, though this problem seems to be small, it is not. In this essay, I have mentioned one of the ways this problem can be addressed. It requires immediate action as it is a matter of concern for our future generations.
Eabc   
Sep 22, 2020
Writing Feedback / The value of one's country exports - IELTS - CAM 14 [3]

@namdang98
In the third para, there is a grammatical error , 'products was' should be written as ' products were'. This is because 'products' word is plural and should be followed with 'were'.

OR can be written as 'petroleum products category was'.

This is my personal opinion not an expert one. Please correct me if I am wrong.
Eabc   
Sep 22, 2020
Writing Feedback / Drinks containing sugars have gained increasing popularity among young people [4]

@ KIM THU
In the second paragraph, the line can be better written as :
"so that the manufacturers will take into consideration the problems caused by large-scale production of soft drinks"

You also do not have to repeat the words "sugar based drinks" instead you can use cold drinks, soft drinks, etc. because they all mean the same. This will also increase the range of your vocabulary.

The above is my personal opinion and not an expert one. Please correct me if I am wrong anywhere.
Eabc   
Sep 17, 2020
Writing Feedback / Discussion - Environmental problems should be dealt at global or national level - for IELTS [3]

global warming solving by individual countries



Nowadays environmental problems are one of those issues that require immediate attention. It is believed that these issues like global warming can be better solved at the national level as compared to solving them at international level. This essay agrees that problems related to the environment can be better dealt with by individual countries than at a global level.

According to some people, problems such as global warming and decreased level of fossil fuels can be solved more effectively by individual nations as the activities of each country adds up to the cause of these issues. These people believe that the small drops make an ocean and similarly the combined efforts of the individual nations can bring down the overall environmental concerns worldwide. For instance, some countries in Europe have switched largely to alternative sources of energy, this has reduced the overall consumption of fossil fuels as well as reduced their carbon footprints.

While a group of people holds the opinion that these can be solved at the global level. They feel that countries should come together and look into these issues in order to find out ways to solve them. But in my opinion, this is practically not a feasible idea as the causes of different environmental issues vary with the geographic location of the area which can be tackled only by the nation and not by any international authority. For instance, the Ganga river in India is highly polluted and any other country cannot look into this problem because this pollution is caused by the factories near it in India. Thus only a national authority can deal with it.

Overall, environmental problems are a great concern for modern times and need to be addressed by all countries in the world. It's better if each nation looks into its own issues related to the environment and takes required actions as indirectly it would contribute to solving international problems.
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