Undergraduate / "my tutoring classes during high school" - Help with college application essay [3]

Hello!

This is an essay for my college application, please help me to improve it and I accept any suggestions!

I find it pleasant to help people. I am always willing to help in whatever I can. In my school time, I used to tutor my classmates in some subjects. Even though I did receive a little or no money for these things, the gratitude and grades improvement of my classmates were the best pay I got.

I can surely say that learning and teaching are my passions since I was a child. My brother and some toys were my students in an imaginary class arranged in my bedroom. It wasn't just a game. My passion for learning and teaching grew as I grew up. My intellectual curiosity led me to spend hours reading about several topics in science or solving math problems in game books. All this learning play opened my mind and gave me a deep understanding of the many ways things work.

I applied this concept while tutoring people. In a simple view I found out that people hate some subjects, like math, because of the complicated a problem could be for them. A deeper look inside the situation led me to the conclusion that many people do not understand complicated problems because they did not understand the simpler ones. In school we acquire knowledge in a gradual process like a chain; this allows students understand the many processes they can use to solve a problem. If a student does not understand one of the simple processes, then the knowledge chain breaks, turning it more and more difficult to understand the more complicated problems. The main problem students faced wasn't the lack of intellectual ability to solve the problems, but the ignorance or the forgetfulness of the basic math concepts. I tried not to go straight to the "complicated" problem to make a student understand it; instead I made him understand the basic concepts first without putting any pressure on him. My goal was not to make students just memorize concepts for a particular test and then forget all; rather, I wanted students understand the basic concepts and apply them to challenging math problems, in the test and after.

I began teaching some simple concepts such as proportion. Even though it seems to be a piece of cake, proportion was one of the biggest difficulties my classmates faced in chemistry problems. I compared the concept of proportion with everyday situations to make it more familiar to them with the simple law: the more you give, the more you get. I applied something similar with logic problems: silly phrases games to make students understand the certainty value. The tutoring sessions became more comfortable when we applied everyday concepts. Linking the concepts with everyday situations, which we remember all the time, is easier than learning by heart and forgetting them after exam.

The learning process was satisfying for both my classmates and me. With the time they realized they could solve more complicated problems without any help. I realized that the important thing was to teach a student gradually from the root of the problem, many times silly misunderstandings, to the problem itself. After that, they were clearly able to understand the problems as I did. Indeed, some of the students became capable to help other students with similar problems.

I would say that my tutoring classes during high school were successful. Some of my classmates increased their grades from an average 3 to a perfect 5 in math score to a complete and well done exam in chemistry and logic. Even though other students didn't improve their grades that dramatically, I could feel how they were understanding and even enjoying the studying experience. I still see ex classmates who ask me for help in university problems, and sometimes I am the one who learns from them. One of the nicest experiences I had was to share my knowledge, and, to encourage my classmates to be better than me. The best paying I received from them is to know that I was helpful for them.

Undergraduate / "I always loved art" - SUNY Application Essay, experience and educational goals [2]

Hello!! Please help me with my writing..I will give a little introduction of myself: im a high school graduate, I was looking for a job during the summer but i didnt get any, besides i began my own business and it's going great thanks God..this is my admissions essay about that because I want to major in finance at SUNY Old Westbury

All improvements accepted ;)

SUNY Application Essay - Please describe an experience that has impacted your educational goals, and explain how the College at Old Westbury can help you accomplish them.

I always loved art, indeed, I'm an artist. I studied oil painting about two years ago, and pursued into it until last summer. After finishing high school, and desiring more independence, I sought for a job during the summer. But, because of my age, I got nothing. So, that was when I decided to open my own business with my art.

At first, I did painting works for a friend who sold the products to an online store owner. It was quite good because I had an assured job, of course earning less, but assured. Sometime after, my mother took some decoupage and painting classes, and we began selling our art to some friends. We felt it was better to independence and do our business.

Using facebook and blogger for promotion, I created a profile where people could see our art. It was really frustrating at the beginnings because we didn't have any comments; I wondered we failed. Though things did not seem to work out, I decided to invest part of my college savings on my business; I was confident I could make my little business grow with some new strategies.

I bought new products, used new techniques and added as much people as I could in my bio site. With the new introductions, people began asking about my art, and interested people began appearing. As the days passed, my business grew a lot, from nothing to a real microenterprise. This morning I delivered several products to a new costumer, who, seeing the quality of the work, asked me to make more products for her. Even a TV program invited my mom and me to show our project. This is the real proof of how our perseverance and effort built our own business.

I took serial challenges with my project, I handled them the best I could and I took advantage of opportunities to make it true. I want to expand my business to new campuses in pastries and canastas. That is my goal right now, but I need a good education to accomplish it. I am confident that the finance program at The College at Old Westbury will provide me the best tools for my business growing. With its curriculum focused in financial analysis and financial planning, I will learn how to manage my investments and profits in the best way. Also, I am willing to contribute my best qualities for the university, and I am committed to meet the university's high standards. I am sure The College at Old Westbury's finance program will really help me accomplishing my educational and professional goals.

Undergraduate / "I liked constructions of every kind"; Civil Engineering Academic objectives [4]

Hello I need help with my essay..please read it and suggest improvements! :)

My intended major is Civil Engineering. Since school, mathematics and physics were my favorite subjects. I love the idea of applying them to real life problems. I chose Civil Engineering because I have always been fascinated with civil projects. I think one of my greatest influences was my father. He is a civil engineer and I could learn many things about this field from him. The construction always kept my interest. Buildings, bridges, houses, I liked constructions of every kind. There is something different and dignified about each of these projects, that someday they were someone's idea. I chose to apply to Fairleigh Dickinson University because of its academic excellence and unique opportunities. FDU offers the best study program combined with laboratory work, which is important because I will be able to apply what I learned in class. The research and projects opportunities will give me rich experience by the time I graduate. Fairleigh Dickinson fulfills all my university education expectations and I am sure that I will receive more than I want. I am confident I will match the high standards set by your University.