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Posts by Zubaida
Joined: Jul 4, 2010
Last Post: May 22, 2012
Threads: 18
Posts: 34  

From: Saudi Arabia

Displayed posts: 52 / page 2 of 2
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Zubaida   
Aug 11, 2010
Writing Feedback / IELTS Essay : Should Society Ban All Forms of Advertising? [8]

Various Companies usesuse this method to promote

Furthermore, it helps to build up...
On the other hand, w hen it comes to consumers, advertisements....
Furthermore, latest psychological researches have shown that children are highly influenced by the advertisement.
On the other hand, it can be seen that, the information...

However, nowadays the advising cost is very high and it directly effecton small companies and business. (effect is anoun. affect is averb)
I think you should say: it directly affects small companies and business.

This can be consider as a the biggest drawback (you should not use (a) and (the) together)

(There areis no mechanism for controlling) or There are no mechanisms for controlling

I hope this will help.
Good Luck
Zubaida   
Aug 11, 2010
Writing Feedback / A paragraph about something that makes me angry. [2]

Write a paragraph of approximately seven sentences describing something that makes you angry. Be sure your first sentence identifies the source of your anger.

I feel angry when I see some people throwing trash bags in public places. Having picnics at beaches and lakes is unenjoyable because of sickening smells. Plastic cups and cases are spattered on the green lawn though a lot of trash tanks spread in the garden. The most enraging scene is when I see some people arrive to the tank, but they put the trash out of it on the ground. They growl angrily if I ask them to put it in its place. Moreover, some of them throw tissues and water bottles by windows while driving cars. All these behaviors signify their selfishness and careless of others' rights, for no hard fine charged on them.
Zubaida   
Aug 10, 2010
Writing Feedback / my Toefl: which do you prefer?get up early and start day work or get up later... [4]

In the first supporting paragraph, you use the the fisrt-person pronoun (I)
In the second and the third supporting paragraph you use the the first- and the second-person pronoun (we and you), and sometimes you talk about people generally.

I think your pronounces should be consistent. you should not shift your point of view unnecessarily.

I hope this will help.
Good Luck
Zubaida   
Aug 10, 2010
Undergraduate / Swim with no clothes- paragraph about The Most Frightening Experience of my Life [4]

Write a brief paragraph describing the most frightening experience of your life.

please, check this paragraph:

The most frightening experience of my life was in the swimming pool. It was the second time I went with my family when I decided to swim without bathing clothes(waht we call this thing in English? things that are made of plastic and filled with air. Kids wear them to be safe while swimming. sometimes its shape like the wheels). After my brother had taught me some important tips about swimming, he went away to play and dive. Then, I tried to swim myself. I could do this for only one minute. After that, I started to lose a control. I tried to hold the pool's walls or let my body sinking to touch the pool's floor, but I went away of them. Applying my brother's advice, I tried to relax, but my body flopped. My heart was beating. I was forced to swallow amounts of water with chlorine. I wanted to scream or say anything, but my voice was not coming out. Though it was a few seconds, they passed as a long hour. Suddenly, someone held my hand. It was my brother who saw my hands' movements at the water surface and rescued me.
Zubaida   
Aug 10, 2010
Graduate / Cultures of West and East; SOP in Entrepreneurship (study plan) [7]

China is fulled offilled with Taiwanese entrepreneurs who want to take a chance on.

I was concentrated on managing the restaurant and controlling...

restaurants. T he last year in college, students have to write the graduate dissertation with teamwork and give a presentation to all the professors .

I hope this will help.
Good Luck
Zubaida   
Aug 10, 2010
Writing Feedback / It is impossible for a man to stay alone - groups are part of human's life [9]

you nead to use (an) instead of (a) here:
but has a common interest or goal as an example group of manufacturing people
a group of common interest people as an example a group of camping people,
As an example of manufacturing car,

No space here. (everyone) is one word.
everyone likes to stay with family
...establish some rules and regulations for everyone .

your subject is plural, so no need to add (s) to the verb
In society, different people stays together, some of them are mankind and some of them follows wrong ways.
That is why people form groups and translate their

It's helpsIt helps people to spend their life with some

because of their scare of dominant people and their discouragement but still they are still belonging to some groups

I hope this will help.
Good Luck
Zubaida   
Aug 9, 2010
Essays / Discuss how Singapore can reduce its carbon footprint. [3]

I think you should make a search on (carbon footprint in Singapore). you will gain information about the problem and current initiatives. Then you can arrange your ideas and may porpose sulotions for the problem.
Zubaida   
Aug 9, 2010
Undergraduate / 5-7 paragraph (Studying in England universities has many benefits) [5]

the paragraph after changing the pronoune (he) to (they)

Though very expensive, studying in England universities has many benefits. First, professional instructors provide students with excellent knowledge in their major fields. In addition, they gain strong skills in English language. Second, accredited certificate that the students will get after completing their bachelor degrees enables them to continue master's and doctoral programs wherever they wish. It also gives graduate students an opportunity to get good jobs in their careers. Last of all, dealing with people from all over the world broadens the students' horizon as they see different kinds of characters, different living styles, and different languages and cultures. This qualifies them to be more successful in their future careers.

which is better?
studying in England universities or at England universities
Zubaida   
Aug 9, 2010
Undergraduate / 5-7 paragraph (Studying in England universities has many benefits) [5]

Write a paragraph (5-7 sentences) in which your opening sentence begins: "Though very expensive...

Though very expensive, studying at England universities has many benefits. First, professional instructors provide the student with excellent knowledge in his major field. In addition, he gains strong skills in English language. Second, accredited certificate, that the student will get it after completing his bachelor degree, enables him to continue master's and doctoral programs wherever he wishes. It also gives graduate student an opportunity to get a good job in his career. Last of all, dealing with people from all over the world broadens the student's horizon as he sees different kinds of characters, different living styles, and different languages and cultures. This qualifies him to be more successful in his future careers.
Zubaida   
Aug 8, 2010
Writing Feedback / Baku-- a short paragraph about the hometown [9]

what do you mean, Azeri, in this sentence:
shady parkways with centenary chinars
I could not find chinar in the dictionary, you may mean chairs.
Zubaida   
Aug 8, 2010
Writing Feedback / IELTS essay feedback, regarding the idea of talking about power of advertising. [5]

I think you should insert comma here:
Nowadays, advertising is such a common
In addition, products must

and a period here
a controversial subject. H owever, the impact

I think you need to use a verb instead of an adjective:
They have contract global or local celebrities to attractive costumers' eyes and rise the sell's number.
Zubaida   
Jul 4, 2010
Undergraduate / Programming and designing graphics, seven-sentence paragraph about my career goals [2]

I have to write a brief paragraph (between 5 and 7 sentences) describing my career goals.
Here is my paragraph:

I'm so passionate about programming and designing graphics. First, I would get a strong scholar background in this field by completing my bachelor degree in computer science at UOFA. This will make me more familiar with programs such as Swish Max, Photoshop and, the Gold Wave. Moreover, I will learn more to be competent of dealing professionally with new programs involving 3D programs and designing websites programs which will give me a chance to achieve another goal; designing a website for my institute at Makka. Finally, I hope that my goals will be real in the future as I am still having the strong desire and determination with hard effort.

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