Undergraduate / interest in and knowledge of solar energy: what you find intellectually engaging [3]

Prompt: Stanford students are widely known to possess a sense of intellectual vitality. Tell us about an idea or an experience you have had that you find intellectually engaging.

Essay:

"As of today I'm going to start calling you 'the why girl'... you always ask the questions I can't answer!"... My friends say I ask way too many questions but, of a truth, my inquisitiveness comes naturally to me.

Some months ago the El Nińo precipitation patterns revealed that my country would not be having rainfall for an extended period of time. As a result we began to experience a drought. Aside from being annoyed and frustrated with frequent water lock offs, I became bombarded by thoughts and ideas relating to the situation. Why hadn't we instituted more reservoirs of water for periods like this? How does this rainfall pattern thing work? Why don't we have a purification or desalination system?

In the instant of that last question I felt as though my brain had an ampere of electricity channeled through it. Jamaica is surrounded by vast oceans and endowed with incredible weather! I realized we have all the necessary elements to successfully pursue this endeavor - sun and sea water. For many weeks the idea of solar desalination was stuck in my mind. I researched and became familiar with this unique technological process, examining the cost, efficiency and their pros and cons. In the process I also developed a general interest in solar energy. So I spend a lot of time convincing my friends that the sun is a colossal sphere, burning with a temperature of over 15 million degrees, and there is much more we can do with it than just tanning.

From now on, my interest in and knowledge of solar energy can only get hotter, and my ultimate goal is to add Jamaica to the list of countries that have made a great investment in solar desalination.

______________________________________________________________________ ____________

ok, i don't know about this essay at all lol
it was one of the most challenging for me. i couldn't come up with an experience so i wrote about an idea.
how do you find it? how well do i answer the question?

Should i omit the last paragraph?

please be expressive and honest! suggestions are VERY welcome!

Undergraduate / 'Twister and Spinner' - Supplement Essay . note to a future roommate.. [7]

Prompt: "Virtually all of Stanford's undergraduates live on campus. Write a note to your future roommate that reveals something about you or that will help your roommate - and us - know you better."

Essay:

My friends, now frozen in precarious positions, all look at me, attentively anticipating further instructions. It is time to announce the next move. Seated, I look at the colorful board resting on my lap and set my fingers on the black arrow in its centre. I flick it as hard as I can, so that the board looks like a blur because of its motion. Gradually its momentum decreases. Slower and slower, passing the left hand quadrant, then left foot, even slower in the right foot section. It inches past blue then yellow then bam! "Right foot, GREEN!" I yell with much enthusiasm.

By now you must have guessed what I am doing. I'm playing the exciting and potentially complex game of twister. I love being in charge of the spinning board! While others may classify it as a boring activity, I absolutely enjoy being the master of randomness, a key aspect of the game. Besides, I am both unfit and clumsy, so even if I did try to be a player on the mat, I would probably be disqualified before my fifth move.

I like to call the master of the spinning board the "spinner" and the players on the mat the "twisters." No game of twister can be successful with either one party; both "spinners" and "twisters" must be involved and this has taught me about myself and others. The "spinner" is usually an individual who appreciates spontaneity and has a personality just as colorful as the spinning board. The "twisters" are purposefully active and embrace risk-taking. Some people, like my closest friends, are born "twisters", but I've always been a "spinner." That explains my random comments and vivacious spirit that make my friends laugh out loud and enjoy themselves. It also justifies my dancing in front of the mirror or using your last word as a prompt to turn my fist into a microphone and sing out loud.

If you are a "spinner" we already have something in common. But whether you are a "twister" or a "spinner" I'm sure, as roommates, we will have as fantastic a college experience as we would playing this game!

Please make corrections and general comments or suggestions.. all replies to this post are welcome :)

By the way, does this essay have to have a title? i hadn't chosen one, but if i need one, you may suggest :)

Thanks in advance !

Undergraduate / Supplement Essay for Amherst College App " Difficulty need not forshadow ..." [6]

Supplement Essay:
In addition to the essay you're asked to write as part of the Common Application, Amherst requires a second essay of no more than 300 words. We do not offer interviews as part of the application process at Amherst. However, your essays provide you with an opportunity to speak to us. Please keep this in mind when responding to one of the following quotations. It is not necessary to research, read, or refer to the text from which these quotations are taken; we are looking for original, personal responses to these short excerpts. Remember that your essay should be personal in nature and not simply an argumentative essay.

Topic chosen:
"Difficulty need not foreshadow despair or defeat. Rather achievement can be all the more satisfying because of obstacles surmounted."
Attributed to William Hastie, Amherst Class of 1925, first African-American to serve as a judge for the United States Court of Appeals

Essay:

"...Additionally, your daughter/ ward will be able to take the Cambridge Additional Mathematics course for..." The letter continued. At age fourteen, the idea of embarking on this rigorous course triggered an equation in my mind. Being a logical and rational thinker, I created the following: (Difficulty) 2 x (negative perceptions) + crash course = ?

I began my first class contemplating those variables. I was introduced to topics and problems which required deep thinking. All elementary ideas were completely replaced by complex formulae and principles. As perceived, the failure rate of students was very high. As if these factors were not stressful enough, we had to learn, in 16 months, what others learnt in 4 years! After about three months, a third of the class quit. I decided it only made sense to replace my question mark with the dark, daunting d-word - defeat.

In a short while, however, I was shaken up. Encouragement and self-confidence moved me to completely redraft my equation - the sole unchanged variable being difficulty: (Difficulty) 2 x (positive outlook) + hard work = ?

Had I not shifted my focus, from negative complexities, to the fact that I could do well (if I persevered positively) I probably would have failed; but I found that my new equation equaled success! Although I failed many unit tests, I was a part of the handful of girls who actually passed the exam. The satisfaction was incomparable.

As individuals we tend to accept the notion, given by the old equation, that difficulty automatically foreshadows defeat. However William Hastie offers us an alternative way of viewing a difficult task or situation. We should work hard to overcome the hurdles, because, having done so, we will reap much satisfaction - much more than if we had chosen not to tackle those obstacles.

Please review my essay! all grammatical and organizational as well as general comments are welcome! :)

Undergraduate / "my school's orchestra" - elaborate on activities paragraph [4]

In the space provided below, please elaborate on one of your activities (extracurricular, personal activities, or work experience)(150 words or fewer).

In 2005, I finally joined my school's orchestra which I had heard so much about. Initially a third violin, my conductor - recognizing my dedication to practice - assisted me in honing my talent. In less than a year I was handed sheet music for first violin. I further developed my passion for music by joining the chamber ensemble and doing solo exams.

While some musicians struggled to stay interested, I found the orchestra to be very enjoyable, stimulating and critical to the development of my character. I have learnt the importance of the phrase "Together Everyone Achieves More" through sectional rehearsals, which have also developed a great sense of commitment within me. It is the orchestra that exposed me to many people, places and ideas I now appreciate. It has defined me throughout high school life. Being an orchestra member represents me doing what I love, and loving what I do.

(151 words)

Please Critique it for me !
Make mention of interest and organization, and correct if you please.
many many thanks!

Undergraduate / TITLE: Seven Pairs, Thirteen Years: This is my Common App Personal essay [10]

TITLE: Seven Pairs, Thirteen Years

I will never forget my experience at Dorney Park WildWater Kingdom in 2004. After screaming and splashing through speed slides and rollercoasters, my sister and I decided to tube slowly along the runaway river for a change. Within minutes of floating along I decide to rest my head back and enjoy the tranquility and rejuvenation of the ride. "Ssshhhhhh" - I could hear the rushing sound of the waterfall we were about to pass through. As I braced for it, my eyes involuntarily shut tight. Those were the best three seconds of a lifetime ... or not. I popped my eyes open. "m my my glasses!! They're gone!" Frantically, I jumped from the tube looking but I couldn't see to find them. All the tubes behind me were being held up. "Ma'am you have to get back into the tube and finish the ride. Please. You can't stop until the ride is over." I sank into despair and woefulness. Unable to see anything but outside a 2 feet radius I felt helpless. So it was for 4 hours. My day was ruined. Luckily, at the end of the day my glasses - now battered and worn were returned to me. Happy would be inadequate describe how I felt. Whoever found those glasses found my life.

I received my first pair of tested glasses at the tender age of four. My mother tells me within days of sporting the brand new frames she heard me say "Why is everyone staring at me? Have they never seen someone in glasses? Well, I think I look cute" That was the spunky toddler in me. I consider this stage of my life as the birth of Jel Bel the Unstoppable (Jel - the first three syllables of my name; Bel - simply because 'Jel' rhymes with Bel' and, most importantly, 'The Unstoppable' - the mindset which has propelled me to achieve despite the divorce of my parents and limited financial resources. I like to refer to myself as Jel Bel the Unstoppable. Not only does it sound cool, but it stands as my theme and motivation throughout life.

It is fair to say my glasses have evolved as much as my character. Just as how mom put up all my old frames carefully for keepsake, the traits of earlier years remained with me and shaped my personality. I am my glasses. They are my guidance and comfort without which my life would be a blur (literally).

As I grew older I renewed my frames and prescriptions bi-annually. Each pair had their own unique feature, but by the time my teenage years arrived I realized that red frames fit my complexion best and I should continue to choose frames within the realm of that color. Perhaps this is a reflection of my personality. Of all the friends in my group, I am the energizer bunny - the most talkative one who is always the source and instigator of jokes, cynical comments and laughter. My presence is always felt in a room - or should I say felt and heard, since I've been told I speak as though I have a microphone near my voice box. I allow this energy to infiltrate into my academics, music, activities and responsibilities. So if you visit my school on a random weekday, it should come as no surprise for you to see me power-walking from point to point like a girl on a mission. That's me - whatever needs to be done, must be done efficiently, effectively and to the best of my ability.

Of great note was my introduction to contact lenses at about age 14. Alleluia! I am no longer a "four-eyed nerd" and I can finally wear sunglasses! Looking back, I can safely say that my contacts can represent my flexibility. The same 'me' who is willing to sacrifice fun for studies knows exactly how to waste time like it's nobody's business. Today you'll catch me listening to Tchaikovsky, but tomorrow I may be listening to Bob Marley. I am just as eager to learn as I am to teach, and I equally exhibit the qualities of an introvert and extrovert.

All the different pairs of glasses I've ever owned have some minute feature that played an integral role in my choice for them. One had a tiny star on each handle, and another had 'keep cool' engraved along the frame - unique and particular to them. So it is with the facets of my personality that you would discover in no other person. I absolutely love ice-cream and would have it for breakfast lunch and dinner on any given day (when my mom isn't home of course). I fall asleep within a maximum of four minutes. I cannot run to save my life. I enjoy problem solving as much as I hate slow computers (a lot).

All these are pixels comprising a big picture. The big picture tells you that even though my optical prescription is negative, my vision for the future is absolutely positive. This is a fact will define me throughout college and beyond.