Undergraduate / Stanford - I love Stanford, diversity, chemistry, designing, astronomy, cooking.. [9]

Hey, Please critique my essay for Stanford. Be devilishly brutal. I really need to get this right, and at the moment, I have a serious case of writers block, and this is due in 2 weeks. (EA)

It is above the 1800 character limit (1876) so feel free to suggest parts for amputation. Thanks. :)

Prompt: TELL US WHAT MAKES STANFORD A GOOD PLACE FOR YOU.

I love leading, I love chemistry,
I love designing, I love astronomy.
Whenever I am asked what I want to study at university, one word always comes to mind: everything. Though this is usually followed by disappointed glares and speeches attacking 'my indecision', I believe, and thankfully Stanford believes too, that confronting the issues facing the world requires a multi-faceted approach as opposed to one that traditionally lies within a distinct discipline. At Stanford, I will have the freedom to unite my passion for chemistry with my interest in management science, astrophysics and product design. By taking a combination of courses in these different fields, I will gain a unique perception that will enable me to provide a new angle of insight into processes that previously seemed straightforward. Stanford's multidisciplinary approach to education encourages exploration ensuring I graduate with both a depth and a breadth of knowledge.

I love cooking, I love discovery,
I love public speaking, I love photography.
At Stanford, I can be assured of holistic development through the numerous activities on campus. I can join the Stanford Photography Club and express myself using light, delve into the culinary arts with various lessons at the Bechtel International Center and indulge in the numerous opportunities for debate with the Stanford Debate Society as well as the Stanford Model United Nations Conference. Most notably though, I will be able to partake in the numerous undergraduate research opportunities; hence placing me at the forefront of scientific discovery.

I am a unique individual with already varied interests. Surrounded by an assorted student body, I will learn from different cultures to augment the knowledge I attain from my classes and hence ensure that in the end I will be a fusion of varied experiences.

I love Stanford, I love diversity

Undergraduate / Stanford Intellectually Engaging Essay: Knot theory [3]

Hey, please critique my essay for the stanford supplement.

Prompt: 1. STANFORD STUDENTS ARE WIDELY KNOWN TO POSSESS A SENSE OF INTELLECTUAL VITALITY. TELL US ABOUT AN IDEA OR AN EXPERIENCE YOU HAVE HAD THAT YOU FIND INTELLECTUALLY ENGAGING.

"The bunny runs round the tree and into the hole." Like many children have, this is how I learned to tie shoe-laces and later ties. Hence, when I read the paper "Tie Knots, Random Walks and Topology", by Thomas Fink and Yong Mao, the information contained therein provided a sense of illumination into the tying of ties. The introduction of a mathematical guide to an aesthetic act was so eccentric as to make it fascinating.

Who would have thought that ties are homeomorphic to a constant random walk on a 2-D triangular lattice? A process that I had previously considered seemingly basic was in fact only superficially so. That the main consideration in determining the finite number of possible knots is size, i.e. the number of moves in a knot sequence, is particularly intriguing. The fixed tie length and aesthetic regard limits the maximum number of this moves to 9, thus the total possible tie-knots according to convention is 85.Further considerations like shape, balance and symmetry, however, invalidate 72 of these ties as aesthetically feasible leaving only 13 distinct ties that are wearable. I love the feeling of enlightenment I get when tying a tie and I know exactly what I am doing, why I am doing so and the effect of what I am doing on the symmetry and size of my tie-knot. The Plattsburgh, configuration Lo Ci Ro Ci Lo Ri Co T, has since become my favorite tie knot.

The possibility of application of knot theory across a variety of areas is overwhelming. For instance different function-specific proteins can be determined due to the ratio of particular types of knots or perhaps the distinct characteristics of some polymers can be established by the degree and type of entanglement. How many more processes can be conclusively determined in totality by such investigation?

There is a 1800 char limit btw. :)

Undergraduate / Stanford Roommate Essay: My family's unique influence on me [11]

Hey, below is my essay for stanford's supplement essay prompt 2. Please critique it and tell me is it is appropriate. Also tell me a section you think it can do without as it is over the character limit: 2138 char while the limit is 1800 char. thanks. :)

It is often thought unusual, the level of intimacy that exists in my family. Going over and above mere cohabitation, the relationship is one characteristic of best friends rather than just family. My mother and sister are my confidants, my personal cheer squad and they form the muse from where I draw my inspiration for life. Perhaps this is the consequence of being a single-parent household, but whatever the reason behind it; my family is the most essential thing in my life.

It is quite ironic that my mother's name is Rose. Far from the delicate flower her name indicates, my mother is a fighter: knocking down challenges left, right and centre; but always coming back to her corner to discuss the next round's strategy with us. Ingrained in us from an early age, are values such as tenacity and amiability. She has demonstrated, quite practicably, that the issues affecting a person should never translate into devalued social interactions. In fact, rarely is the presence of friends as important as it is when one is facing trials. I intend to carry on this attitude within our room. Even when we are up to our knees in assignments and problem-sets, we should still find time to indulge: be it a cup of coffee at CoHo or perhaps even a casual hike up to the dish; we will form each other's support systems.

My sister, Sandra, the reason that the word perfectionist was added into the English language; she always demands the very best from me, shirts: impeccably folded, room: appropriately organized and food: suitably seasoned. Sandra has taught me never to be complacent; often, you can do better. Her high expectation of me has translated to my striving to achieve excellence in all facets of my life. You will therefore notice my constant quest for self-improvement: from matters as trivial as how best to economize on my closet space to more significant issues such as raising my grade point average.

Though my family will be miles away while I am in college, its influence on me transcends distance and is omnipresent. I hope that I can utilize this impact on me positively throughout college and indeed our time together.

Undergraduate / Princeton Supplement, Short Answer: Past 2 Summers [11]

Hey, please read the following essay and tell me whether it is appropriate. Thanks.

Prompt: Please tell us how you have spent the last two summers (or vacations between school years), including any jobs you have held, if not already detailed on the Common Application

The thrill of having finished my Ordinary Level examinations was quite evident in the first few weeks of the summer of 2009. I dedicated this time to a lot of rest and relaxation through one of my primary pastimes: reading. I read a lot of books, both fictional and non fictional, in the first month. I remember reading 'Wine for Dummies' and being fascinated by the culture behind the wine-making process. I found it quite remarkable how the practice was a delicate balance between science and art. In fact, reading the book has given me a resolve to find a way to scientifically control most of the variables of wine making to increase the process' efficiency whilst not compromising the product's quality. I hope that with a degree in chemical engineering, I will one day be able to achieve this. I also read 'The Six Suspects' by Vikas Swarup, a book that soon claimed first position in my recommended list. The author's ability to develop six distinct plots and ultimately intertwine them into a single story was especially captivating. I later enrolled in driving school leading to my receiving a driver's licence. Finally being able to drive my mother to various destinations was a high point of the summer.

The major event during the summer of 2010 was my attachment at the University of Nairobi's School of engineering. I was lucky enough to have an introductory course at the mechanical, electrical and manufacturing engineering workshops. Here, I gained invaluable insight into the practical component of the mechanical and electrical engineering course. I particularly enjoyed the fabrication laboratory where I learned the basics of computer aided manufacture using computer numeric control machines. The wall hanging I designed and ultimately crafted still hangs in my bedroom as testament to the incredibly enjoyable and educative time I had there. Another experience of great significance was voting in Kenya's referendum of a proposed new constitution. It being my first voting experience, I was quite excited to finally exercise my power to determine the direction the country took. Contributing to the realization of reforms is a great feeling and I am glad that I was involved in making history.

The past two summers were as interesting and beneficial to my development as a person as they were varied in types of involvements. I believe I was able to gain some transferable skills whiles still being able to enjoy my time, hence achieving equilibrium.