Undergraduate / "My Enviornment: Family, Culture, and School" - UC Prompt 1 [16]

Prompt:Describe the world you come from - for example, your family, community or school - and tell us how your world has shaped your dreams and aspirations.

The environment from which one comes from determines a person's respective personalities and qualities. In the same way, the environment from which I come from has helped determine not only my personality and qualities, but also my dreams and aspirations. My environment consists not only of my family and school but also of a harmonious balance between my Indian and American cultures. There's an old saying that summarizes this concept, "one who stays near vermilion gets stained red, and one who stays near ink gets stained black".

I consider myself "lucky" because I've always been able to stay near good vermillion, my parents. My parents have not only helped me stay focused on my schoolwork, but have also instilled in a diverse Indian culture which has harmoniously blended with my American values to define me as who I am today. My American culture has come easily enough over the course of many years, but my Indian culture is a different issue altogether. Although the threat of being punished for not speaking Telugu (my mother tongue) at home is often aggravating, I began to comprehend its value when my family and I went to India two summers ago and I saw how pleasantly surprised my grandparents, relatives, and friends were that I could speak Telugu and knew my traditions so well. The traditions and values that were passed on and instilled in me by my parents have taught me to be proud of my priceless heritage.

My father has been one of my greatest sources of inspiration. I found it bothersome to be woken up at 4:00 in morning by the sound of my father talking on the phone with a client in Europe or Asia in the other room, but I now understand that he works so hard so that my sister and I may have a better life than he did. As the second oldest child of five, my father had to start taking care of his family of seven at a very young age and because of financial shortcomings he had to abandon his dream of studying medicine. He took my family and left India for America to not only secure a better life for us, but to also give me and my sister a head start in life, a luxury I don't plan on wasting. The story of my father's struggle continues to inspire me and has taught me to be determined, aspiring, and most importantly to never give up.

My schooling plays an important role in my life. I value the amazing opportunity I have to be studying in America, an opportunity that even some of the best students in India do not have. My education not only gives me a rigorous academic instruction, but also instills in me a sense of self-confidence, creativity, optimism, and humility. This has allowed me to explore the various academic opportunities available to me such that my school has been a launching pad for my dreams and aspirations. The simple freedom of being able to choose between Chemistry and Physics has been instrumental in leading me to my dream of being an engineer. Now when I prepare for a shot during soccer practice, I immediately pay attention to the angle of my foot and after kicking the ball I take notice of the curve created by the ball's motion and try to calculate its acceleration. After the shot scores or fails I wonder why it did what it did. This curiosity and inquisitive nature have made me who I am today and will define me as the engineer I will one day be.

My environment has shaped me into who I am now and might one day become. My parents, my culture, and my school have taught me the value of hard work, determination, confidence, and the most importantly the courage to never give up. It is with these values that I will pursue my dreams and aspirations in college and in life.

My only major worries regarding my essay are that it is a bit broad, but I think that all of these factors are important in describing me. Also I'm at 752 words, which is okay but that only leaves me with about 250 or so words for my second essay, so anything you guys thing can help limit word count would be very helpful.

THANKS A LOT!

Undergraduate / "Summer Engineering Seminar and the will to never give up" - UC Promt # 2 [8]

Prompt:Tell us about a personal quality, talent, accomplishment, contribution or experience that is important to you. What about this quality or accomplishment makes you proud and how does it relate to the person you are?

I have always heard the words "never give up" and I thought I knew what they truly meant, but I was wrong. Sure, I have never given up in many things like last-minute English essays or devotedly practicing for a soccer championship, but I have only recently come to understand the true meaning of these words.

I was fortunate enough to be selected to attend the fully sponsored Summer Engineering Seminar (SES) at Santa Clara University this summer. During this one week exploration of the various types of Engineering and its applications, we undertook courses in fields ranging from Electrical Engineering to Civil Engineering. We also took several elective courses including an Introduction to Nanotechnology, Robotics, and Renewable Energy. To further put our skills to the test, we competed in various engineering competitions every night. These competitions ranged anywhere from building a duck tape hammock to constructing a potato catapult. Whether for good or bad, my team and I never won a competition, and by the end of the week I was disappointed and eager to prove my abilities as an Engineer. Besides, I really wanted the red LED light all the winners got.

On the third day we were finally assigned the "grand" project, to build a rubber band powered device to transport a single quarter. Many of us thought little of it and considered the project trivial, but we would soon learn otherwise. We were simply given a square sheet of cardboard, paperclips, a straw, tape, the rubber band, and of course a quarter with which to construct our devices. Over the course of the next three days, my group and I experimented with various designs including the obvious car-type design, but it was all in vain. It was then that we had a marvelous idea-simplicity. We decided to follow this concept and brainstormed various designs and, as is likely to happen in a group of five engineering loving boys, we finally decided to build a slingshot type device. The design was indeed simple, a cardboard encased quarter, to increase traction, was attached to a rubber band and we were in business. While our previous models generally stopped after traveling about ten feet, our new model just kept going until the quarter finally skid to at stop after more than 29 feet. It was then that a horrible "what if" struck our minds, "what if, our new design didn't fit in the rules!"

The next day we quickly went to talk to our Engineering Design professor after class and even he seemed a bit awe-struck at the sheer simplicity of our design. After reading the rules thoroughly, his verdict was that our design lacked sufficient use of any materials except the rubber band. We were shattered, but not for long, I had a brilliant idea and asked the professor if our device would be eligible if we just used more cardboard and after thinking about it again he said that was fine. My idea was inspired by an atom, so we put the quarter in the middle of a piece of circular cardboard and attached five more circles together using cut out inserts. We then covered the entire "Atom" with tape to reduce friction and compensate for the empty spaces between the circle halves. So come Friday morning, my group was prepared to finally win. While the average distance traveled for the other groups' devices was less than 25 feet, my group's device traveled more than 50 feet before finally hitting the back wall. A roar of cheers went up as our "Atom Slingshot", as we called it, hit the wall and we were finally winners.

Sure, the huge bag of prizes and the LED light were great and more than made up for not winning all week, but the lesson learned was even more valuable. I could have given up after my third failure but I kept going, if only for the LED light, but once the final day had ended and I was victorious, I finally appreciated the lesson I had learnt. I will never give up on my goal of being an Engineer because by persevering, I will overcome any and all obstacles between me and my goals.

Mostly I need help cutting down the word count because my first UC essay is kind long too, so thats a major issue right now. Other than that it's mostly a issue of if it makes sense or not and if the essay really tells the speaker about me. Thanks a Lot

Undergraduate / A lifelong journey in Math, Science, and Engineering -- Carnegie Mellon Essay [8]

Carnegie Mellon University is the ideal institution for me to continue my appreciation for Math and Science and in doing so fulfill my dreams and aspirations. I never thought of Engineering as a career or a profession, it was always a passion, hobby, and in some ways a talent. However, I now clearly understand that Engineering is not only a passion or a hobby, but rather something that I want to pursue and continue doing for the rest of my life. I realize that Carnegie Mellon will help me lay the foundations for what I hope will be a lifelong journey in Math, Science, and Engineering. My academic passions and the opportunities available to me at Carnegie Mellon make me certain that the School of Computer Science and the Carnegie Institute of Technology at Carnegie Mellon University are the next steps for me in this journey.

An engineer's work can be found in even the most infinitesimal aspects of our lives. Their work ranges anywhere from printing the dictionaries that define an Engineer to constructing colossal buildings. As a result, the various disciplines of engineering offer Engineers a myriad of opportunities through which to contribute to society. A primary concern for me and many Engineers today is the rising prevalence of Global Warming and its caustic effects on society. To help alleviate this plague on our environment, Engineers around the world are helping by developing alternative fuels, more efficient buildings, and etc. In a recent science journal, I read about a group of various computer, mechanical, electrical, and other engineers who have come together to build a revolutionary underwater windmill called Deep Green. These new windmills exploit the fact that water is 800 percent more dense than air, to create 800 times more energy than regular windmills spinning at the same speed. This has shown me that engineering is a group effort that requires the contribution of many. Breakthroughs like this have been instrumental in inspiring me to follow through with my passion of being an Engineer and trying to engineer something for society to advance and to help put a stop to Global Warming.

I have always been interested in how, and more importantly why, things worked. As a child, I use to often take things, mostly toys, apart and try to put them back together. As a result, I never truly understood how and why these works of Engineering worked, but as I grew older the Internet offered me a vast new dimension of knowledge from which I could draw from. In this way, I would take things apart and then research and study the reason these objects worked. As time passed, I naturally began to develop and further my interests in Math and Science through the various opportunities available to me at school. By partaking in competitions such as Science Olympiad and Science Bowl, I have been able to apply and share my knowledge and in the process even learn new things from others. Just last year I was introduced to computer science by a friend of mine, and since then we have ecstatically studied the various languages in computer science and have programmed various things. Over this past summer, I took various open courseware courses dealing with computer science from Stanford and MIT. These include Stanford's Programming Methodology course and MIT's Introduction to computer science and programming. Recently my friends and I began a computer programming/game design club where we applied our programming skills to not only create fun games, but to also teach others.

I have always been exposed to engineering because my Father was a Petroleum Engineer and now both he and my mother are Software Engineers. My parents have always been supportive of my engineering goals and they often help me when I am stuck on a programming code or help me find bugs when my program doesn't execute correctly. My mom has also tried showing me how automated and manual testing of programs works and although I am yet to understand it fully, I appreciate how testing works. In this way, I have seen first-hand how engineers apply concepts of Math and Science to conceive unique methods to solve problems and I am all the more encouraged to enter the field of engineering.

I am confident that the School of Computer Science and the Carnegie Institute of Technology will provide me with the necessary academic instruction to succeed as an Engineer. Furthermore, I am eager to take advantage of Carnegie Mellon's research opportunities to learn more about the world around me and in doing so satiate my curiosity and inquisitive yearning. I hope to be part of the unique and encouraging environment at Carnegie Mellon University and to not only learn, but to also contribute to the diverse and vast intellectual dedication that defines a Tartan.

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My main concers are basically how it sounds and in aswering the prompt does it say something meaningful about me. I also need to cut out some words since it is goes a paragraph into the second page. And I was also accepted into a competitive Engineering Seminar at Santa Clara Univeristy but I didn't talk about it here since I already chose that as my topic for my Common App Essay. So should I mention it again? Thanks a lot for any comments, and please be critical if you must :)

Undergraduate / A journey in Engineering (why things work) -- Cornell Engineering Essay [3]

Prompt: Engineers turn ideas (technical, scientific, mathematical) into reality. Tell us about an engineering idea you have or your interest in engineering. Explain how Cornell Engineering can help you further explore this idea or intrest.

______________________________________________________________________ ____________

I have always been interested in how, and more importantly why, things worked. As a child, I use to often take things apart, mostly toys, and try to put them back together. Even when my toys broke, I would take them apart and entertain myself in this way instead of throwing them away. Unfortunately, I never truly understood how and why these marvels of Engineering worked, but as I grew older the Internet offered me a vast new dimension of knowledge from which I could draw from. In this way, I would take things apart and then research and study the reason these objects worked. As time passed, I naturally began to develop and further my interests in Math and Science through the various opportunities available to me at school. By partaking in competitions such as Science Olympiad and Science Bowl, I have been able to apply and share my knowledge and in the process even learn new things from others.

Just last year, I was introduced to computer science by a friend of mine, and since then we have ecstatically studied the various languages in computer science and have programmed a multitude of things. Over this past summer, I took various open courseware courses dealing with computer science from Stanford and MIT. These include Stanford's Programming Methodology course and MIT's Introduction to computer science and programming. Recently my friends and I began a computer programming/game design club where we applied our programming skills to not only create fun games, but to also teach others about computer programming.

An engineer's work can be found in even the most infinitesimal aspects of our lives. Their work ranges anywhere from printing the dictionaries that define an Engineer to constructing colossal buildings. As a result, the various disciplines of engineering offer Engineers a myriad of opportunities through which to contribute to society. A primary concern for me and many Engineers today is the rising prevalence of Global Warming and its caustic effects on society. In a recent science journal, I read about a group of various engineers who have come together to build a revolutionary underwater windmill called Deep Green. These new windmills use water's high density to create 800 times more energy than regular windmills spinning at the same speed. Breakthroughs like this have been instrumental in inspiring me to follow through with my passion of being an Engineer and trying to engineer something for society to advance and to help put a stop to Global Warming.

I am confident that the College of Engineering will provide me with the necessary academic instruction to succeed as an Engineer. Furthermore, I am eager to take advantage of Cornell's research opportunities to learn more about the world around me and in doing so satiate my curiosity and inquisitive yearning. I hope to be part of the unique and encouraging environment at Cornell University and to not only learn, but to also contribute to the diverse and vast intellectual dedication that defines a Cornell student.

______________________________________________________________________ ____________

My main concerns are basically how it sounds and in answering the prompt does it say something meaningful about me and my engineering goals. This is actually a recycle essay, so I hope it works.

The other option I had for my Cornell essay was talking about my Engineering Idea. I was going to talk about how we can use these special Fernel lenses to increase solar panel power output by 70% and by putting them in space we could avoid problems with cloud cover and etc. I was also going to mention the argument about getting the energy down to earth, and rebuke it with info on wireless energy transmission with things like microwaves. So I personally think this would be a stronger topic, but I don't want to already have a great essay here and then write another one and waste my time ;) I actually got this idea from a discovery channel show. Anyways, let me know if I should do my other option instead and I could just do that instead.

Thanks a lot for any comments, and please be critical if you must :)

Undergraduate / Idle time and Spontaneity -- Stanford Roomate Essay [9]

Prompt:Virtually all of Stanford's undergraduates live on campus. What would you want your future roommate to know about you? Tell us something about you that will help your roommate-and us-know you better.

______________________________________________________________________ ____________
Dear Roomie,

As an Indian boy, I am very easy to stereotype, but you will soon discover that I have unique peculiarities which are accentuated by my hobbies.

I may come off as a shy person at first, but we will become friends soon enough. I may smile and nod a lot at first, but that's not me being creepy, I'm just nervous. You may often find me staring out the window, lost in my own thoughts, thinking about anything from the blades of grass on the ground to the mechanics of the lawn mower mowing it. In my opinion, time spent thinking is not idle time, but rather an opportunity to appreciate the world's simplicity and at the same time its complexity.

We could be walking to our next class together, and suddenly I'll start a random conversation on what we should have for lunch or I'll go nerd mode and try to measure the velocity and acceleration of our motion. I may even point out random patterns and designs in nature and this is probably why I find palindromes amusing. But in all seriousness, when it's time to hit the books I'm completely focused and I can work all night if I need to. I am determined to fulfill my dreams and aspirations, but it's all right if we have some fun from time to time

All things said, I am a very happy person. I've learned to look past failures and obstacles and rather focus on the bright side of things. This sense of optimism has helped stay focused on achieving my goals. And if you're completely different and we have nothing in common, rest assured we will find something because I am always up for new experiences. I hope that we will become good friends and maybe even stay that way for the rest of our lives.

Yours truly,
<<Insert Name>>
______________________________________________________________________ ____________
CONCERNS
- Is it good and does it talk about my personality?

- Should I get rid of the first paragraph to reduce the word count? I'm 64 words over so I kinda need help on word count .

- I added a bit on school, but should I talk more about my goals of engineering, physics, and etc.?

- Should I talk more about my intrests like Soccer, Video Games, Movies, and etc.

Thanks a lot :)

Undergraduate / Time Travel and Paradoxical Implications -- Stanford Intellectual Vitality Essay [2]

Prompt: Stanford students are widely known to possess a sense of intellectual vitality. Tell us about an idea or an experience that you have had that you find intellectually engaging.

______________________________________________________________________ ____________

Having just watched another episode of Carl Sagan's Cosmos for my AP Physics class, I sat in my computer chair once again fascinated by the idea of time travel. I am always intrigued to learn more about the various theories and even the implications related to time travel. These may include Einstein's theory of relativity, wormholes, parallel universes, time dilation, and etc.

The Grandfather Paradox is a great example of this captivating idea. Can one go back to kill his own grandfather? In may seem possible, but according to Novikov's self-consistency principle, the answer is no, because it creates a time paradox. The paradox is that if one's grandfather were killed, then the chain of events would render the person nonexistent.

This theme has been often explored in modern media and literature, most notably in Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban. In this novel, Hermione Granger simply uses a "time turner" to go back or forward in time. At first I envied the ability to control time and not only change the past, but also learn what is in store for me. I often sit wondering what will happen in the future, but with a "time turner" I can just go into the future and see it firsthand. But is it really worth it?

This knowledge comes at a heavy price. If Novikov's principle holds true, I can do nothing to change my past or whether directly or indirectly, my future. I wonder if I can bear to know something, but at the same time be powerless in changing it. This is quite similar to Cassandra's curse in Greek mythology, where she is gifted with the ability to foretell the future, but is later cursed so that no one believes her. This cursed gift leads to endless pain and frustration. Unlike Cassandra, I don't know if I can cope with the futility that follows this forbidden fruit of knowledge. However, I do know that since the present is all that I have in front of me, I will make full use of it and treasure these moments, and in doing so I may even change my future.

______________________________________________________________________ ____________

Concerns:

-Is it good and does it talk about my personality?
- Should I add more? And is the info on Cassandra's curse necessary to explain, or...what? I'm at 358 Words so I desperately need to cut out some words.

- Anything else, Please be as critical as necessary. Thanks a lot.

Undergraduate / Imagination, Creativity, and Freedom -- Why Stanford Essay [10]

Prompt: Tell us what makes Stanford a good place for you ...

The bright sunshine, the breathtaking architecture, the vast expanses of hills...as soon as I opened that Stanford brochure I got from college night my freshman year, I knew that there was something unique about this noble and prestigious university. I'd like to say that I've aspired to be a cardinal since I was born, but I really can't. I knew nothing about this institution other than what was in the 8' x 10' brochure.

As I've continued to learn about Stanford over the past four years, I've discovered that there is a lot more to it that its Ivy-level reputation and its competitive 7 percent admit rate. I now realize that Stanford is beyond stunning appearances and frightening numbers, it is an institution that fosters imagination, creativity, and above all others freedom.

Stanford has been a pioneer in Engineering over the past few decades. It has been the home of Google, Yahoo, HP, and many more aspiring ideas. Stanford's location in the heart of the Silicon Valley, allows it to offer an unparalleled engineering curriculum that I've just had a taste of. I took open courseware courses this summer from Stanford's SEE program and was surprised to see how involved I felt by simply watching a YouTube video of a Stanford professor teaching Programming Methodology. I can't wait to see and learn from all that Stanford's world class professors have to offer me in person.

Stanford's research programs have been one of the most appealing factors to me. The integrated research opportunities in the undergraduate curriculum are sure to offer me a chance to give back to society. I may even have the opportunity to work with one of Stanford's Noble Laureates. To me, the most captivating research program at Stanford is Stanley and the DARPA Urban challenge. The opportunity to be able to work on and with Stanley fascinates me to no end. These and many more appealing qualities and opportunities have made me confident that Stanford is the perfect place for my curiosity and yearning for knowledge to grow and prosper over the next four years.

______________________________________________________________________ ____________

Concerns:

- Does the essay answer the prompt well and does it show why I want to attend Stanford?

- Are there any weak or unnecessary parts to remove, I dresprately need to remove words. I'm at 348 Words and the word limit is 250 , HELP!!!!!

- Anything else, please be as critical as you need to be. Thanks a lot.