Writing Feedback / GRE Argument Essay "People should not a misled by the advertising competition... [5]

ARGUMENT TOPIC FROM GRE Pool. Please provide critique and comments.
Thanks in Advance.

The following appeared in a local newspaper.
"People should not be misled by the advertising competition between Coldex and Cold-Away, both popular over-the-counter cold medications that anyone can purchase without a doctor's prescription. Each brand is accusing the other of causing some well-known, unwanted side effect: Coldex is known to contribute to existing high blood pressure and Cold-Away is known to cause drowsiness. But the choice should be clear for most health-conscious people: Cold-Away has been on the market for much longer and is used by more hospitals than is Coldex. Clearly, Cold-Away is more effective."

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Authors argument is appealing at the first glance, where the author concludes that Cold-Away is an effective way to cure cold symptoms and is a preferred choice by health-conscious people. Also the author concludes that Cold-Away is a preferred medication used by more hospital to cure cold symptoms, however a close look at the arguments, where author presents it evidences to support his conclusion, has logical flaws and further studies are required to validate the conclusion.

Author's conclusion is based on few assumptions that he had made in this argument. Firstly the author states that the Cold-Away is more effective, however he did not mention anywhere in the argument that is help people to recover fast from cold-symptoms. Secondly, Cold-Away is a preferred Over the Counter medication for most health-conscious people, however he the author assumes that people who consumes Cold-Away are health conscious. Thirdly, the author assumes based on the marketing and advertising campaign by the two drug manufacturer that Cold-Away causes drowsiness and Coldex causes higher blood pressure are true. When concluding, the author does not provide any valid evidence which support the claims made by the two drug manufacturer. Finally, the author assumes that the since Cold-Away has been used in the market for a longer period of time, it is more effective. The assumptions made by the author posses serious logical flaw which cannot be supported by the evidences provided in the argument.

Firstly, Author's states that Cold-Away is more effective, which is a relative term depending on the level of severity of the cold the patient suffers. Author does not indicate any where how effectively Cold-Away has helping in treating patients over Coldex. Coldex can be a effective under certain circumstances and can be used to treat Cold Symptoms more effectively. Author could have made his argument more effective by providing some factual data about the use of the 2 medication.

Secondly, Author's makes a claim, where Cold-Away is a preferred Over the Counter Medication for Health-conscious people, which raises serious doubts. The Statement made by the author is not supported by any evidences or study which proves that it a preferred medication. Additionally, Health-Conscious people who eat right and exercise daily are less likely to suffer from serious problems and a light dose of medication would help them to recover fast. Author could have made his claim stronger by stating, that Cold-Away has been found to be a preferred medication for health conscious people, based on the research data and medical finding of curing the symptoms.

Thirdly, Author concludes in this argument based on the Advertising Campaign of the two drug manufacturer that Cold-Away is Better. Since both drugs have been approved by Food and Drug Administration and allowed to be sold over the counter, author fails to provide any evidence that the advertising claim made by Cold-Away is based Drug Test or Lab Test Reports.Author could have made the argument logically strong by adding the evidence that would have supported his claim.

Finally, Author's assumption of "older is better" makes him conclude that Cold-Away is Better. Since the new drug Coldex might have a new composition, it would be better on a long term and would prevent relapse of Cold-Symptoms over and over again.

Over the Counter Drugs require a comprehensive tests and clinical trial process before it can be shelved by pharmacies and retailers. Generally new drugs which are protected by patents and not available as generic are more expensive and have a better capability of fighting diseases and also prevents relapse of symptoms. Author's claim need to analyzed in detail and logically sound before concluding that Cold-Away is a better medication.

Writing Feedback / GRE Issue Essay "Colleges and universities should offer more contemporary culture" [2]

Essay below is from GRE Pool. Please comment on it... actually this is my 3rd issue essay (un-timed) and I'm looking for feedback, and places where i can improve.

Thanks in Advance.

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ISSUE Topic:"Colleges and universities should offer more courses on popular music, film, advertising, and television because contemporary culture has much greater relevance for students than do arts and literature of the past."

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I disagree with the author's conclusion that Colleges and universities should offer additional courses in contemporary Culture than in arts and literature of the past. Author further talks about the "relevance" of the art and literature, and how it holds against contemporary culture of today, which raises multitude of concerns of how contemporary culture becomes more relevant than the art and history of yesterday.

Some famous author stated "one who do not learn from history, tends to repeat itself." Art and History knowledge is essentially important and by adding additional courses in Contemporary Culture will distract students from the importance of Art and History of our culture. Basically, Art and History defines who we are, how we are here, and what it took us to be here to be a part of contemporary culture. By being ignorant of what was the driving force behind the growth of our culture, society, and the medium we live in, we would not be able to enjoy and be proud of what we are today. Art and History of Past has been studies exhaustively and documented in text books for us to understand and to drive us forward, however Contemporary culture is still evolving and has its equal importance to drive it forward and with proper knowledge of past it would enable us to drive it forward in much relevent way. In short by learning from the mistakes done in the past, we can provide a driving force for the future.

We all have been derived from past, and decide our future from the mistakes we did, saw or learned in past and prevent it from repeating it in future. Contemporary Culture versus Art and History of Past are both so much related that it get to the modern time statement of "Chicken and Egg, who came first". So our current culture is defined by our past which defines our history. The work we did in past, now kept in museums to inspire people to achieve more and achieve greater heights. It is extremely difficult to state that Contemporary Culture need to focused more at the cost of forgetting the past, because our past defines our future. For example: We watch classic play of Sheksphere today, and admire the thoughtful process that was constructed in it thousands of years back. We define modern time movies on these play and admire them more. How can we admire them if we do not know the history.

Students in Colleges and Universities, should be focused on additional subjects relating to the fields of science and math which will help how modern time healthcare system will be defined or next generation space travel would be defined. All these Modern tools comes from knowledge of past and improvising on the techniques adopted in past to achieve a nearly perfect situation and to create History for tomorrow.

Finally to conclude, Authors argument that Colleges and Universities offering additional courses in Contemporary Culture rather than Art and Literature of past and its relevance in current educational system would be justified, as students of tomorrow needs to know how things in past have evolved to define the future.

Writing Feedback / University faculty should have some experience in the fields they teach. [2]

Andy,
I wrote an essay on same topic, here is for you to compare and comment.

"In order to improve the quality of instruction at the college and university level, all faculty should be required to spend time working outside the academic world in professions relevant to the courses they teach."

I would partially agree with the statement mentioned by the author, that all faculty, professors and lecturers at College and Universities should gain direct hands-on experience working in organization outside the university that directly relates to their field of teaching, to improve the quality of instruction. Some of the Faculty may be involved in Research Activity which ensures that they keep them updated with the changes. Additionally, faculty can be provided training which could help them to update themselves which can help to deliver quality instruction.

Globally accepted fact, is that the Purpose of Education to educate students who would be responsible to drive the society in coming years. Hence education delivered should be from

experience and knowledgeable professors who have been updating themselves to the latest changes.

There could be achieved in multiple ways to ensure that the faculty has been updating themselves regularly. Firstly, as mentioned by the author faculty can take projects outside the

campus to update themselves. Secondly, the university can ensure that faculty has been updating themselves on regular basis by requiring them to take examination on the subject they teach. Thirdly, the faculty can be involved in research activities at the university, which ensures

that they have been updating themselves. and Finally, Colleges and University when deciding on
annual curriculum can focus on the level of their faculty and provide them with training to ensure that they are up to date with the changing pattern.

Advocates for Faculty would typically argue that quality of education delivered complies to the set norms as defined by the academic body. Under such situations, Colleges and Universities

needs to constantly monitor the changing pattern, and provide changes to the curriculum and also instruct the faculty to update themselves and be ready for the new curriculum.

In medical and engineering fields, we have industry experts who work in their industry and are keep attached to the colleges and university and visit the campus just to deliver lectures. They have direct on-hand experience and have proven to be delivering quality education. For example: When I was going to school, Signal Processing was taught to us by an industry expert

who had experience is Satellite Communication and was working for Boeing. This provided us the
knowledge how Signal Processing was handled and also guided us the way how efficient modulation schemes were implemented for Satellite Communications. This not only provided me with the concepts of Signal processing subject but also how it is implemented in real-time.

Higher Education is generally an option, and in order to improve of the quality of instruction delivered Colleges and Universities must encourage their faculty to constantly update themselves with the latest practices adopted in the industry. Also, if the faculty is unable to deliver the right content effectively, Colleges and University must ensure that the faculty is properly updated to the changing course.