Undergraduate / "Just a Parts List" - JHU Supplement # 1 [5]

Hello all on Essay Forum. It would be great if you could provide me with some feedback on my essay. Thanks! If you have an essay you would like to me look over, just post the link and i will be happy to.

Prompt: : Johns Hopkins offers 50 majors across the schools of
Arts & Sciences and Engineering. On this application, we ask you to identify one or two that you might like to pursue here. Why did you choose the way you did? If

you are undecided, why didn't you choose? (If any past courses or academic experiences influenced your decision, you may include them in your essay.)

Professor Lander of MIT, who contributed greatly to the success of the Human Genome Project, stated in a 2001 one lecture that information obtained about the code of the humane genome is a "parts list. A Boeing 771 has over one thousand parts. Having a parts list doesn't tell you how to put it together or how it flies". Now that the three billion letter code of the human genome has been sequenced, the next challenge will be to figure what words, sentences, and paragraphs these words spell, and how to use them create new narratives on human life. This is the challenge that faces my generation of scientists, and is a challenge that I plan to partake in. It is for this reason that I wish to pursue a BS in molecular biology.

I believe that Johns Hopkins University is the ideal university for me to study biology because of the intensive coursework, undergraduate research opportunities, and the low student to faculty ratio in the Zanvyl Krieger School of Arts and Sciences . The fact that JHU requires its undergraduate biology majors to complete two semesters of guided reasearch is very appealing to me, because I believe that these opportunities would be both interesting and a good way to apply the knowledge that I would learn in the classroom. A large amount of research opportunities are actually posted on the JHU biology departments website, and this type of active scientific community is something that I would love to be a contributing member of.

Undergraduate / Experience outside formal classroom - Pomona Supplement- "K'naan" [3]

This is my first draft of my Pomona supplement. I need help on it! If you make a comment, I will make sure to comment any of your essays on this site. Also, it would be nice if you could just provide some general feedback.

Prompt:
Although it may appear to the contrary, we do know that people have a life beyond what they do to get into college. Tell us about an experience you've had outside of your formal classroom and extracurricular activities that was just plain fun and why

Response:

Beginning in mid-October, each day at 7:30 am in our calculus class my friend would walk up to the chalkboard and write a number in the top right corner. The first number was fifteen, and the second one was fourteen. The numbers were counted down until only a large zero remained. Today was the day. In school, my two friends and I were anxious, and couldn't focus on our schoolwork. Instead of listening to the lecture or working on our assignments, we would simply look at each other and nod, or smile nervously. The anxiousness and excitement was palpable in the classes we shared. The school day couldn't end fast enough. The seconds ticked by, the hours passed, and finally, at two twenty-five in the afternoon, the last bell wrung.

On any other day, My friends and I might have hung around for a while after school chatting in the quad, or spending some extra time welding in our physics lab; however, today was different. As soon as that bell wrung, we sprinted to my friend's subaru, piled in, and started the three hour drive down interstate 80 towards San Francisco. Unlike the hours spent at school, the drive was enjoyable if somewhat manic due to our excitement. When we saw the Pacific Bell Stadium, we knew we were close to our destination. The Giants were playing in the World Series tonight, and the city of San Francisco was alive. In a moment of habitual paranoia, I reached into my pocket and took out the envelope inside. I flipped open the cover and pulled out the tickets to make sure all three were there. Thankfully, we had not forgotten our tickets and were going to be able see our favorite musician, K'naan', live in concert.

Upon arriving in San Francisco, we cruised around the streets, but decided to get a bite to eat before the show started. By the time we had finished eating, it was 7:45, and with fifteen minutes remaining until the show started, My friends and I decided to head over to The Fillmore. Once inside, we realized that were probably the youngest people there. Unintimidated, we walked out on the floor and worked our way towards the front of the stage and waited for K'naan to take the stage. The concert that my friends and I had been waiting for months was finally about to happen.

Actually, it didn't. At least not immediately. For some unknown reason, we waited for K'naan to take the stage for at least forty-five minutes. The crowd was starting to get annoyed, and while my friends tried to keep it positive by chanting "K'naan", others were trying a different strategy, namely, heckling, stomping, and throwing bottles. Yes, someone threw a bottle. When it looked like a riot may have been forming, the lights dimmed and three musicians took the stage. None of them happened to be K'naan, but moments later, he came running from the side of the stage, mic in hand, and started spitting rhymes. The show had begun.

Normally, I'm a pretty shy guy. I don't go to school dances, and the singing that I do is confined to my room and the shower; however, that night I went crazy. I rapped the verses, sung the chorus, and danced the entire show. To an outside observer, watching a short, skinny, brown kid must have been pretty comical, but for once in my life, I let my inhibitions go and just had fun. The show was phenomenal, and I found myself thinking at the end of each song, "I hope this isn't the last song". The last song inevitabely, but I wasn't too disappointed. The show had been phenomenal. As my friends and filed out and headed back to our car, we knew what that night had been about. It was about freedom from our parents, and from the worries of school. I would be dead tired at school tomorrow, and I knew also that I had cross-country championships, but none of that mattered. All of my life, school has taken priority to all other things, but this night, fun, music, and friends were all that was important.

Undergraduate / "I improved my cricket game" - JHU Short Answer Supplement Essay [6]

Here is the prompt: Word limit is 250 words. I'm slightly over but don't think it will be too much of a problem.

A Typical student at Johns Hopkins spends less than 15 hours each week in a classroom, leaving lots of time for volunteer opportunities, clubs and organizations, athletics, social events, and other on- and off-campus activities. Aside from the academic interests you've already expressed, in what activities do you plan to engage as an undergraduate at Johns Hopkins?:

My answer: " Ball-i, Ball-i!", shouted Krishna, one of the fielders, as the other boys clapped and cheered. The baller looked me square in the eye, and started his approach. He bounded towards the pitch, windmilled his arm, and releases a loud grunt as the rubber ball left his fingertips. The ball was fast. Much faster than I expected. Before reaching me, it took a sharp dive and bounced once before coming into my batting range. I swung for glory, honor, and a six pointer but heard a loud thwack immediately after swinging my bat. The fielders erupted into laughter. Slightly confused, I turned around to see what had caused the sharp sound, and quite probably, the laughter. The three sticks that were once standing were now lying on the on the dusty ground of the pitch. I had knocked the wicket over with my own bat. My first attempt to play cricket was a total failure, and didn't do much to alleviate the Sinhalese boy's suspicions that I was just a bumbling American.

While the first day was a definite failure, over the course of the month that I spent working and playing with the children in this juvenile detention center in Sri Lanka, I improved my cricket game, and came to enjoy the sport. While I have not been able to play cricket in my small, rural hometown, I am excited to know that Johns Hopkins University has a cricket club, and I plan to fill the breaks I have from classwork and studying by hitting six pointers and knocking over wickets (hopefully not my own).

Undergraduate / "Bipolar disorder of my father" - UC (where you come from) [2]

I would greatly appreciate it if you would offer some feedback on my essay. This is a very rough draft, and I expect to make changes to it. The prompt for this essay is as follows: Describe the world you come from - for example, your family, community or school - and tell us how your world has shaped your dreams and aspirations.

My father became afflicted with bipolar disorder when I was young. The symptoms of this disorder caused my father to experience periods of mania and depression and inconsistencies of mood and actions. These inconsistencies defined my early childhood. During periods of mental stability, my father and I did many things that normal families do, and I would often get princely treatment. Like most kids I had an insatiable sweet tooth and he would, much to the chagrin of my mother, eagerly buy me chocolate eclairs from the bakery across the road from his restaurant. Or after buying me a book, my father would hoist me up on top of his shoulders so that I would be spared the hindrance of walking home and would be able to immediately warp into the worlds of the science fiction books that I was so fond of. Despite his love for me, negative events triggered by his mania and depression were a much more common occurrence in my childhood. My father had frequent dealings with homeless people and drug addicts and would have me around these people whose peculiar behavior, and eccentric appearance were terrifying as a child. More often than not, I would see nothing of my dad and would know only that he was not going to be home that night. This constant state of doubt, uncertainty, and fear of my father's actions caused my mother and I to move to a town nearly four hours away from our previous home. During these years, I did not see nor rarely hear from my dad as he moved back to Sri Lanka, the country that he emigrated from. Though my relationship with my father has improved he still suffers from relapses into mania. I am still not able to trust his words or his actions and I often feel uncomfortable around him.

These experiences, as well as the financial struggles that my mother and I have endured have been harsh trials of my character and emotional strength. Rather than having only adverse negative effects on my academic pursuits, I have become a resilient person. I have learned to not let family troubles or financial struggles become insurmountable obstacles in being a successful student. Years of broken promises and lies from my father are evidence to me that I cannot be dependent on another person, and that I have the strength to make it on my own; however, love from my mother and grandparents as well as their support have been essential in overcoming my struggles. I do not want uncertainty, fear, and instability to be part of my life or that of my children. Obtaining a college education and a stable, secure career is one of my greatest aspirations because it will be allow me to provide for myself and be in control of my life.