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Posts by ftfn
Joined: Dec 13, 2010
Last Post: Dec 20, 2010
Threads: 4
Posts: 13  

From: China

Displayed posts: 17
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Dec 19, 2010
Undergraduate / "A Lover of Experiment" - Cornell CALS Supplement, biology, high school experience [4]

College of Agriculture and Life Sciences:How have your interests and related experiences influenced your selection of major?
500 words.

Hi, every one, I need your help, both on grammar and structure...Thank you !

I quietly bent down. My breath was held. My eyes were focused on the black dot. Then all in an instant, I reached out for the tadpole.

"Pu Tong, Pang"

However, I lost the balance and fell into the river. Managing to get on the bank, I felt extremely disappointed, not for my drenched clothes, but for my loss of experimental material. Wondering about how a round black tadpole grew into a green frog, I planned to make an experiment. Without tadpoles, the experiment failed but the passion for biology had just been ignited in this 8 year old boy.

As I grow up, I still carry that interest and motivation with life. I'm not a swimmer who like jumping into rivers, nor a bloody hunter who love catching tadpoles. Instead I am an definite hands-on "researcher" since I was enthusiastic about experiment.

Last semester, when we were experimenting on Polymerase Chain Reaction(PCR), I interrupted my teacher again "Why is the initial temperature exactly 70 °C. What will it be if I change the temperature?" My teacher threw a casual glance on me and raised her voice "All books say the initial temperature is 67°C, 68°C or even 72°C. If you do not control the temperature at 70°C, you will fail. Ok, Everyone has three trials, control your temperature carefully and start now!"

Maybe my teacher was right but her "authoritative data" could not deter me from designing my experiments. When it was my turn, I secretly changed the initial temperature of first group to 55°C, second 70°C, then third to 95°C.

One hour passed, my teacher started examining our results.
"Who is No.9, your third experiment is excellent!" She asked.
"But I made it at 95°C"
Then all the eyes concentrated to me,
"But why was my 55°C group ineffective?"
Everyone was bursting into laugh--- except my teacher. We quickly found out the reason: my teacher had mixed the initial temperature with polymerase optimum temperature. The former one should be exactly 94°C.

As an enthusiastic lover of experiment, I am appealed by the abundant opportunities of hands-on research and programmes at College of Agriculture and Life Sciences (CALS). I will not only learn advanced technology from world-class professors and talented peers, but will also apply those skills through researches. I want to major in BEE (Biological and Environmental Engineering) and join in Professor Larry Walker's Biofuels Research Lab which makes ethanol out of switchgrass. I also love the BEE4590 and 4870(Biosensors and Bioanalytical Techniques, Sustainable Bioenergy Systems) because, obviously, I have already got tons of question on these amazing techniques and I can not wait to create bio-sensors and bio-fuels by my hands.
Dec 16, 2010
Undergraduate / Carleton, short answers, biology, books [6]

Thank you!
Any my sentence incomplete?
PLease point it out forme because I'm not very sensitive to grammar mistakes...
Thank you again!
Dec 15, 2010
Undergraduate / Intellectual engagement, Common Good, Connection to Place - Bowdoin [4]

Wow, I think the second one is better. They are asking you the specific knowledge you hold about their contribution to the common good. You can talk about how considerate and altruistic (maybe) you are..so you really appreciate Bowdoin's work(then add some details to show how you love their0...finally say you really want to get involved, and improve it....

Just the second topic to show
1 how you love Bowdoin
2 how Bowdoin matches you
3 what can you contribute to Bowdoin, make their "common good" projects or programmes better...

This is my idea...I think the third one is ok, but you are not able to show anything about YOU if you just talk about place and Bowdoin. Remember, AO want to learn about YOU beyond Bowdoin..

Sorry, I am not a native speaker, so some points may not be clear...Good Luck.

If you have time, please offer some suggestions on my essay..Thank you!
Dec 15, 2010
Undergraduate / "a passion for mechanics and strong humanitarian" what makes Stanford a good place [4]

From the very beginning, I expressed deep interest for cars and rememberremembered the triumph on assembling a toy motor engine. Thus, with a passion for mechanics and a strong humanitarian aspect; I aspire to be the next Elon Musk of the globe. I plan to use innovative ideas in the automobile industry and the financial gains to help future ecological causes.

Stanford offers me this platform in many ways (too arrogant) intrigues me in many ways . In terms of academics; 112 and 113 Mechanical Engeering will help to increase my skill and complement my work experience as a trainee tremendously. A recent development of solar energy use in The Global Climate and Energy Project (GCEP) on campus seems to be interesting as it hopes to provide some further insight into achieving greener futures in the automotive industry.

However, this is only one aspect of the equation. When entering the Palm Drive during my tour of Stanford, we were shown around by a student guide in her sophomore year. Watching her, she approached questions with by an enthusiasm enthusiastic, wit and even a modest sense of humor. I felt this sudden urge to be a part of a campus that harbored these types of people. Apart from the academic and extracurricular excellence, the campus life seemed so vibrant and ethnically colorful. Brought up in a multi-ethnic society, (add some details about multi-culture) this really attracted me to the university.

All in all, we share a common interest.("we" a little unclear) With one of its Sustainable Stanford goals setsetting as "reduce transportation related pollution including greenhouse gas emissions', it is the final piece of the jigsaw puzzle for my future plans. After all, who doesn't want to go to Stanford?I dream to join in Stanford!

I hope I can help you!Good Luck!
Can you offer some suggestions on my essay? Thank you
Dec 15, 2010
Undergraduate / Since I was four, I have seen my mother make yogurt. Chemistry/Biology major at Hopkins. [3]

Since I was four, I have seen my mother make yogurt. She stirs in old yogurt with milk, heats the mixture, and then covers it in a warm place.(I think this should be past tense...) Seemingly magically, the next day, fresh, solid, yogurt awaitsawaited us! The process baffled me, as did many other kitchen rituals. How did milk turn into creamy yogurt? Why did pizza dough expand? As I entered fifth grade chemistry and biology, I began to understand these processes. The yeast we kept in the fridge was alive. There were bacteria in the yogurt, descendants of the original strain in the culture that my mother had borrowed from a neighbour several years ago. Gradually I also understood that Cooking was only a combination of chemical and biological processes and properties: exothermic reactions, cellular respiration, polarity, equilibrium, osmosis. Seemingly lifeless materials sprung to life and created fantastic smells and tastes. Small molecules came together to form the basis of life-a cell. The connection between chemistry and biology fascinated me, as did their practical applications.

In high school I pursued classes in my interests: chemistry and biology.I studied various types of chemical reactions in the two chemistry classes(which class, the name) that I took over the summer to gauge my interest in the subject. The molecular interactions and chemical equations made incredible sense. After taking AP Biology, I recognised the connection that large, complex processes had with simple interactions on a molecular level. Every bodily system could be broken down to chemical structure and function. Nerve signals were propagated through ion concentrations. Cells stayed alive through chemical reactions. In both Chemistry and Biology, a combination of excellent teachers and fascinating processes encouraged my interest, which in turn contributed to good performance. As I pursue majors in Chemistry and Biology I hope to gain a better understanding of the intricacies on a chemical level that influence the biological world. At JHU I wish to target these passions and see where they take me(I didn't underdtand the end, ... ).

I love this essay because it achieved a balance between passion and action. But you did not explain why in Hopkinsbut not other colleges or universities. Add something about where you fit in Hopkins and what you can contribute there...Good Luck :D

Can you give some suggestions on my Carleton essay? Thank you!
Dec 15, 2010
Undergraduate / "My father and his words" - influential person [3]

Indicate a person who has had a significant influence on you, and describe that influence .

You did perfect on the first question but didn't answer well on the second question. I could feel your passion and I was really moved by the story of your father, but, are you just an observer ? What's your father's influence on YOU? You became more responsible, wiser, tougher, more considerate, or ...add something specific about you beyond your father!

I was realy moved by your story but I think it could be better.
Dec 15, 2010
Undergraduate / Carleton, short answers, biology, books [6]

Name the secondary school teacher who has most influenced you and briefly explain why.
Subject(s) and Academic Year(s):
He/She has influenced me because:

By giving inspiring speech on Embryo Engineering last year, he offered me the motivation to learn comprehensively and confirmed my dream to be a biologist. Also he his life attitude influenced me: "Cicada matures when it molts painfully." Indeed, I will mature when I withstand the most vulnerable moments.

What subjects most interest you and why? (Note: This is not a commitment to major in this area.)
Biology and Literature.
When I was 9, I exhausted my parents building a small insect museum in my bedroom. Then beyond plain fun for life, the fact that life science can deal with diseases and relieve the pain of patient intrigued me to pursue my career in biology.

I love traditional Chinese poems particularly because they record the scene thousands of years ago and reflect our ancestors life philosophy.

Do you have a tentative (or firm) career plan (or dream)? Please describe it.
A Biologist who is also a green volunteer. In the near future I dream to improve artificial organs by studying nano-materials and gene engineering. I will seek ways to relieve the pain of disabled. In addition, as I have already done a research on recycling in China, I plan to expand my volunteering project to the world and attract more people to protect our vulnerable earth through recycling.

Why are you interested in Carleton College and how did this interest develop?
Carleton amazes me with diverse opportunities. I won't be confined to learning. I can explore all courses I love; share my ideas with unique peers. I can Stroll down the Carleton Arb and lay down beside Lyman Lakes; I can join in the Debate Club and organize SUMO activities. Indeed, Carleton is where "I can embrace life fully".

From your reading, whether children's books or classics, what books or authors have particularly impressed you and why?
1.George Orwell's Animal Farm. "All animals are equal, but some animals are more equal than others." the pig Napoleon words snapped me out of daze that animal farm was actually about the history of human nature. The conflict between two pigs (Napoleon and Snowball),the Boxer's loyalty, the Snowball's idealism and Squealer's jargon...all insinuate the shortcomings of human society. This novel made me happy first, angry then, embarrassed finally.

2.The Analects of Confucius. This home-known classic of China illuminates me the value of integrity, courage, wisdom, courtesy and benevolence.
Dec 14, 2010
Undergraduate / Rice University, Chinese culture, perspective, well-rounded [7]

The quality of Rice's academic life and the Residential College System are heavily influenced by the unique life experiences and cultural traditions each student brings. What perspective do you feel that you will contribute to life at Rice? (Most applicants are able to respond successfully in two to three double-spaced pages.)

I am not a native speaker...I really welcome any suggestion!

Sweat slowly accumulated on my palms and my arms were excruciating sore. I was trying to paint a specific pine tree: long needles, gnarled limbs, and red-brown deeply ridge.Three hours passed, I handed my first Shui-Mo painting to my grandpa. However, he gave it back after a casual glance and led me to see his work.

"My boy, a painter should capture the spirit of his subject by unveiling the combination between those seemingly detached scenes" My grandpa pointed to his work. "You see, in my painting, the root is tangled in rocks, leaves are exposed to the rain, truncks are searing by the sun. It is connection, rather than an isolated detail that injects life into my painting."

My grandpa's words illuminated me a simple but significant word---relationship. It also reminded me of my childhood. Like every Chinese child, before 11, I was forced to learn Chinese calligraphy, Shui_Mo painting, to read Tang poems and recite classics. During Spring Festival, there was no holiday because I had to write Dui Lian and riddles, cooked Jiaozi and made fireworks. Useless? You are wrong,,those seemingly useless skills actually cultivated me into a well-rounded young man.

The enduring recipe, familiar aroma of a simple dish Jiaozi(dumplings) connected me to a history more than 5000 years. The floating rhythm in Shui-Mo, inspring structure in calligraphy captured my eyes and mosted my hearts. The household Tang Poems, never-changed classics, illuminated me that the value of an inner integrity rather than a ostentious luxury.

I admit that my childhood is painful, but I also think it inspiring because various parts complemented with each other and those fragments connected, mixed, interweaved, creating a balanced Chinese painting.

What I will contribute to Rice is also my life philosophy of "connection" inherited from Chinese culture. I won't narrow my mind to "majors" Instead, I will explore my interests and dabble into broad subjects. History, religion, science, literature, social skills,, in these amazing fields I like to find a intrinsic link and combine them together. Detached part are useless until I organize them into an ensemble..The appealing relationship between diverse subjects will always keep me intrigued.
Dec 14, 2010
Undergraduate / Swarthmore, love of biology, research, liberal art education [4]

Please write a brief statement telling us why you have decided to apply to Swarthmore in particular. Character 2000
Welcome ANY advice ! Thank you! I am not a native speaker...

My parents got a little nervous whenever their ten-year old boy began to talk about biology. They probably remembered the time when I waited five hours mid-night to watch the cicada molting and caught a tadpole at the price of falling in to the river.

Through my junior years, my love in biology never reduced. The invasive improvements in diagnostic tests kept me excited and triggered me to make a difference. After visiting a brave and self-respecting young man, "creating artificial corneas" took up my mind. I hurried back to my school to delve right into "research." But it appeared that I didn't know how to fix the appliance, how to write down the data, how to record the need of patients, more important, how to overcome the public indifference.