Undergraduate / CMC Essay "Atticus Finch" Applying EDII [2]

Leadership is a constant theme and emphasis at CMC. In fact, one of the ways we describe CMC students is "Leaders in the Making." Choose someone, fictional or nonfictional, historical or contemporary, whom you consider to be a leader. Suppose you are this person's primary advisor. How would you advise this person and why?

Any help would be very much appreciated, this is my most important supplement. Is the structure and transitions alright? Did I answer the prompt? I tried writing from the heart because this was one of the books that influenced me the most. Also, did I "advise" this person, it was really hard finding any negative things about Atticus because he is a great person all around. Thanks in advance and I'll be sure to return the favor. I revised it a bit this time.

Dear Atticus Finch,

Even though you live in a small town, you have a direct positive impact on everyone around you. Your quote, "Courage is not a man with a gun in his hand. It's knowing you're licked before you begin but you begin anyway and you see it through no matter what. You rarely win, but sometimes you do," shows that even in the face of adversity, you keep calm and keep your head up. I hold this mindset with every task I partake in. When I was in Science Olympiad, we would always arrive in second place and lose to another team in our district; although being defeated in the prior years, we studied hard and won first place in the region. Besides your perseverance, you have shown leadership through your dedication and contributions. Even knowing that your community is predominately racist, you ignore this and look for the good in everyone. You went as far as to take Tom Robinson's case, knowing that a racist jury would never acquit a black man accused of raping a white woman no matter how false the charges are, to change people's opinions of the black community. Never lose your drive to help those weaker than you, the world needs more people like that.

When you gave Jem his first gun, you told him not to kill any mockingbirds. At first I thought you were compassionate about birds, but I soon realized that a mockingbird is anyone who is weak or defenseless. To kill a mockingbird in that sense is to take advantage of someone weaker than you, as Mr. Ewell did to Tom Robinson, but you tried to stop it. With every page I flipped, I gained a newfound respect for you, Mr. Finch. I have since then lived and will live my life without "killing any mockingbirds."

You taught your daughter, Scout, a monumental lesson: always put yourself in other people's shoes. It takes a very rare leader to take a step back and view matters from others' perspectives. Knowing that Mr. Cunningham was too poor to pay you, you allowed him to repay you in various foods. When the mob came to lynch Tom Robinson, you acknowledged their ill feelings and reasoned with them, believing good will always triumph over bad. Whenever I hear a dispute going on, I stop myself from automatically taking one's side to analyze the situation from both people's perspectives.

Leadership is a quality that can never be perfected and a true leader never ceases to learn. Every action has a reaction and by defending Tom Robinson, you unintentionally endangered your children. If Boo Radley were not there, things might have ended for the worse. Situations like these entail that you must live with the consequences of your actions, always keep that in mind. Keep your loved ones close, and no matter how caught up you become in your work, never forget that they are there. Use them as a source of inspiration and motivation; seeing how hard my parents work to provide for me motivates me to do well in school.

A true leader is characterized by the greatness in their relationship with their followers. You, Atticus Finch, embody this vision being respected by everyone in Maycomb. I, too, hope to have a positive influence on the people around me wherever I am. You symbolize wisdom, honesty, and dedication-traits that I strive to represent. I hope that I will be the type of leader that galvanizes others to question the norm and change the way they view the word around them like you. Wherever I go, I hope to be the Atticus Finch of my community.

Best wishes for the future,

Undergraduate / CSF tutoring endeavor - common app short answer [2]

Evaluate an extracurricular or work experience. 150 words max. Thank you for any help. Are there any words I can cut or sentences I can shorten because I am over the word limit? Once again thank you.

Having been in CSF since Freshman year and hearing about an upcoming tutoring component because of the huge rift between the scores of Honors/AP and Prep students, I decided to become more involved so I ran for Treasurer Sophomore year. The past officers instead choose me as President. At first I struggled with leading a club in which I had never worked with the advisor and officer team before and balancing out being President of FBLA, but I soon found my rhythm. I held officer and general meetings bi-weekly and officer socials for the team to bond and plan out the tutoring program. The program was held once a week with very few students attending and CSF members tutoring until an algebra teacher, who a majority of her class was failing, requested CSF tutors to come to her class. After her students took the next test, every single one passed. The teacher recommended CSF to the administration and the program received publicity. Now CSF holds tutoring events twice a week with the room packed each time; the amount of kids who were in danger of failing has decreased dramatically.

Undergraduate / Commonapp essay significant event about a midnight adventure and a club task [6]

Evaluate an experience which had a significant effect on you. Did I structure it right? esp. the dialogue?

I sat in my room, with aching fingers, typing articles nonstop for the Local Chapter Annual Business Report (LCABR). In the beginning of the year, my Chapter, who had never received an award before, was motivated to win every award this year, and above all the Gold Seal Chapter Award. To do so, each chapter is required to complete activities related to FBLA's motto, "Service, Education, and Progress," such as attend conferences, elect officers, hold fundraisers, help the community, etc. Chapters are then encouraged to create and submit a LCABR, a thirty page summary that documents all the FBLA related events that a chapter has completed. Out of all the Chapters in California that submit a LCABR, only the top 15% are awarded the prestigious Gold Seal Chapter Award. Once it came time to submit documentation for these awards, we still had to create the LCABR so my officer team voted not to apply for the award we so yearned for. As President, I nominated myself to complete this task, the only problem was that it not only had to be finished, printed, hard and spiral bounded, but also postmarked in only one week.

Barricading myself in my room, I wrote articles about every one of our activities, ranging from State Leadership Conferences and Leadership Development Institutes to holding a March of Dimes project to raise money for premature babies. Once finished, I faced the challenge of compiling it into an organized report. I quickly opened Windows Publisher and hurried to finish so I could print and hardbound it, but my computer's lag was not helping me at all. Every ten minutes the computer would freeze and release a loud, "BEEP," but I finally finished at 10 PM, one day before I had to postmark the LCABR, and was set on printing!

I browsed online for a twenty-four hour Kinko's and luckily found one. I go to pick up my friend who said he had some money and proceeded to drive to Kinko's. Google Maps led me astray, so I ended up entering every entrance I saw around Foothill and Elm Street. One entrance led to the City Hall, which I visited about four more times until I finally swallowed my pride and had my friend call for directions. I arrived at Kinko's around 11 PM and waited for the lady ahead of me to finish. After what seemed like an eternity, the lady left, and it was my turn. I blurted out to the worker, "I need to print something very important!" He proceeded to give me a USB to put the LCABR file on, in which my driver's license was used as leverage until I returned it. The computers cost twenty-five cents a minute to use, and I raided each of my pockets and found three quarters. I planned out how I would put the file on the USB to finish before I exceeded the time limit and signed on. Once I logged off, the computer time showed two minutes and fifty-two seconds. Proudly, I walked to the front and gave the USB to the worker. He printed out four copies and spiral bounded them as I looked in astonishment. As I went to pay, I hoped I had enough money; the total cost was a little less than $120! I thanked the worker and left very happy and excited that everything was coming together.

I started my car and quickly rushed home so I could tell everyone the good news, but I noticed it was darker than usual. As I drove on the main road, I suddenly saw flashing lights and hear sirens. I pulled over, every possible scenario going through my head, imagining myself going to jail for life and getting my car towed. I sat still, petrified as I looked in my mirror and saw the reflection of the flashing red and blue lights. As the man in the black uniform approached my window, my hands increasingly trembled and my palms grew sweaty. I accidentally turned off my car so I could not roll down the window. After freaking out, I finally managed to get it down.

"Is there a reason your lights are off?" the policeman asked.

"Umm the lights weren't on? I'm sorry," I replied as I hit my head with my palm now realizing why the road looked darker.

"Let me see your driver's license," the officer instructed.

I reached for my wallet and opened it. I froze. I realized the Kinko's worker never gave it back!

"I was at Kinko's printing the LCABR, and the guy wanted something for the card, and I forgot to get it, I promise!"

I handed him the four copies of the LCABR as proof. The perplexed police officer proceeded to ask for my name and if the car is even under my name. He went back to his car, and I stared at the

steering wheel until he returned.

"So it says that you are a provisional driver and you are driving a passenger who is NOT over 21 years of age, PAST your provisional license hours, PAST curfew, with your lights off. Do you know what time it is? It's 2 AM!"

I looked down, too ashamed to look at him. I dreaded the thought of what was going to happen.

"Ok what's going to happen is you're going to go back to Kinko's and get your driver's license and head straight home!"

As he finished his statement I let out the biggest sigh of relief imaginable, thanked him, and shook hands with him. I headed back to Kinko's, and upon entering, the worker smirked and remarked, "Oh hey, you forgot your driver's license, you might need that in case you get pulled over or something." My friend and I turned and looked at each other with a blank stare.

That night I learned two things. One: always make sure your lights are on at night or buy a car that automatically turns on its lights for you. Two: in the end, everything works out the way it was meant to. My chapter went on to receive the Gold Seal Chapter Award. I will never forget that memorable night and I cannot wait for what adventures lie ahead of me.