Undergraduate / 'journalism student found me' - this to 150 words----Greatest Accomplishment [5]

Prompt:
In which of your accomplishments during high school do you take the greatest pride?

I don't feel like I answered this in a direct manner.

I have won many awards, but my greatest accomplishment is my Glaucoma Awareness project, which led me to an appearance on local television in the ninth grade.

I spoke to my Interact club sponsor and inquired whether it was possible to distribute flyers that contained information about the disease to every teacher in the school. When January----Glaucoma Awareness Month---rolled around, I ensured that my message was delivered to every teacher's mailbox.

Later, a journalism student found me, and asked whether I would like appear on the school's Friday-morning show. I agreed. That afternoon, after the taping, she mentioned, "I'm a teen reporter for WCTV, and I was wondering...would you like to be on the show for this?" I was shocked, but said yes. Two weeks later, I saw my own shining face on the six o' clock news.

After the program, many people called me or spoke to me in person to tell me that they felt a little more informed about the disease. I was glad my message was getting beyond my classmates and teachers. But the real sign that I had made a difference came when one of my dad's colleagues was experiencing visual difficulties and wanted to read the flyer. At that instant, I knew that this project was more than just talk---it was one of the best things I had ever done.

Undergraduate / Why Northwestern? NU will be the place for me. [3]

Please review.

My friends and acquaintances had all sung Northwestern's praises. My piano teacher had mentioned the excellent music programs there. And of course, the city of Chicago had its allure. But the two things that really sold me on this school were the campus atmosphere and the personality of the students. All of them seemed just like me; they wanted to get the best out of life professionally, but also make time for fun.

It all started with my dad's business trip to Chicago in July of 2007. While we were there, my parents casually suggested a campus visit to Northwestern. At first, I was not too keen on it. We had seen MIT and Harvard during our visit to Boston that past May, and I did not want my summer to become a series of college visits when I was just barely out of my sophomore year of high school. But parental authority ultimately prevailed.

On a very hot and muggy morning, my family and I set off on our adventure with a train ride from Chicago to Evanston. We reached the campus right on time, so we were able to get our bearings and be assigned to student-led campus tours. As soon as I heard the words "biotechnology major" from one of the students, I walked right over to his group, eager to learn more.

I knew that Northwestern had excellent programs in music and journalism---two areas of study that had always intrigued me. However, during my sophomore year, I had become very interested in the biological sciences, and began envisioning myself as a doctor or researcher. I was not sure how good NU was in these faculties. The student guide reassured me that there were plenty of opportunities in sciences, and that they were as well taught as the humanities were. I was also told that it was easy to become part of a music ensemble---even if one was not a music major. This was also good for me, since I had just begun chorus that year and hoped to stay with it.

In addition to the more practical matters of education and facilities, I also took note of the campus quirks and traditions. I smiled when I saw the Rock and learned of its history...and the variegated colors I saw on it. (This gave me some very interesting ideas of what I should paint on it. ) This showed that Northwestern students, like me, are high achieving, but are able to pull a few hijinks from time to time. I figured if I could glue-gun quartz pieces to a glass jar and glaze a few clay masterpieces before putting them into the kiln to be fired----at the age of ten-----painting a big rock wasn't too challenging. Other activities like the Primal Scream before finals---something I am sure I would wholeheartedly engage in---appealed to me as well. I learned of other traditions (including jingling keys at kickoffs and Dance Marathon, among others) much later, through other sources, but the first two I heard of had me convinced that I would be able to fit in here.

Though I was tired and hungry throughout most of the day, I thoroughly enjoyed seeing the rest of the campus. I enjoyed even the more mundane aspects of the tour---including the library, which was the first college library I had seen from the inside (besides Florida State University's.), and the simple yet beautiful lakes I saw that dotted the landscape. (This especially held true after I saw several small ducks rolling their webbed feet so they could move through bluish waters.) Everything around campus reminded me of my hometown's landscape at its best---trees and greenery everywhere, clean lakes. Of course, there are slight differences in the vegetation from Tallahassee to Evanston, but the general idea of an ideal place for students to live, learn, work, and play is the same.

I know that the workload at Northwestern is much harder than 5 AP's in the senior year of high school. I know it will take more time management and efficiency to accomplish all I desire. I also know that one must master the important balance between work and play to be truly happy. Northwestern students do this every day, and leave their mark on the world wherever they go. I know that I can join the ranks, because I believe in myself. (I would not have made it this far if I did not. ) Seeing Northwestern with my own eyes and hearing the students and admissions committee members talk about what life is like, and what the typical student is like, confirmed my beliefs that this was the place for me.

Everyone I spoke with said that career and achievement were very important to them, but they also wanted time to enjoy themselves and celebrate what they did well. Everyone I have spoken with since---including a currently enrolled student who graduated from my high school two years ago---said that the atmosphere is intense, but that one comes to thrive on it. I have had experience with intense competition before, and see no reason why I would not be up to the challenge.

I know I will thrive and benefit immensely from all that this school has to offer. Thus, I believe that NU will be the place for me for the next four years of my life.

Undergraduate / "No pneumonia" - Common App #6---There are worse things [3]

I would like a review of this essay.

"No pneumonia," the doctor said. "But she does have the flu."

I was infuriated. This was not how my Thanksgiving was supposed to go. I was supposed to be in Boca Raton with my family, enjoying a proper meal with turkey and cranberries and green beans and pumpkin pie, traveling to the beach the day after, soaking up the sunshine and maybe seeing Twilight or Quantum of Solace. Instead, I was stuck at home with a hundred-degree fever, unable to even stand on my own.

"It's not fair," I sobbed as my mom helped me into my bed. "It's just not fair."

I, of course, had no idea what "not fair" was.

The following morning, I heard my dad talking on the phone with someone. The walls muffled the sound, so I couldn't hear every word. But then I heard a few snatches---"train"---"hurt"---"how many?" I knew that something big had happened in Mumbai---where my dad grew up----but I did not know how big.

When he hung up the phone and came to check on me, I asked him, "Baba, what happened?"

As soon as he told me, my heart broke.

Listening to the news that night made it worse.

Hearing cries of pain from the wounded and the families of the deceased made me angry. It wasn't just the fact that some of my own people----hundreds of innocent Indians-----were dying. It was the fact that so many others---vacationers at the Oberoi and Taj Mahal hotels, among others----had died in the shootings. There was no reason for this. There was no reason for so many to perish because of terrorists.

Seeing so many people lose loved ones made me realize how near and dear I held my own family. This was especially true after I heard that one of the attacks happened near the area where my grandmother and uncles live. I was (and still am) thankful that none of my family was hurt, but hearing the news made me sicker inside than I already was. It was as if God had sent me a reminder, in his own mysterious way, as if to tell me, There are worse things than the flu...

Having the flu over Thanksgiving is not the most pleasant or favorable experience. But an illness that forces the sufferer to stay in bed is nothing compared to seeing others suffer and die half a world away. Watching the reports of the killings made me thankful for what I did have---my loving mother, my feisty father, my home and my life as I know it. Moreover, I was eternally grateful that my family in India was all right. I had everything I could possibly ask for, and more, especially in time of need.

Perhaps I celebrated Thanksgiving properly after all.

Undergraduate / "our district championship" - Common App Elaboration--150 words. [2]

Please review. (The word count stands at 148 words.)

Prompt: Elaborate on one of your extracurricular activities.

Let's just get this tiebreaker, I think. Just get this tiebreaker.
The moderator begins. The words fall into place; "short stories"----"London slum"----then finally, "...author of Liza of Lambeth." I buzz in without thinking; the reader looks at me questioningly.

"Maugham?"
"Correct!"
Cheers go up from around me, the sounds of my Brain Bowl teammates' exultations. Even the captain of our team, normally stoic, is all smiles as he tells his friend, "We won because of the best buzz ever!" As we leave the room, I breathe a huge sigh of relief.

In that instant, I saw potency in my own knowledge as clearly as I saw my teammates' capabilities. As we left the room, I knew that we could do anything we set out to---and I was right. That win led to another, and another, until that glorious day when we won our district championship.

Undergraduate / 'discussions and work' - Interest in Davidson/Contributions [2]

I feel like this is weak. Please review.

The basic prompt is: What interests you about Davidson, and what do you expect to contribute?

I first became interested in Davidson College during my sophomore year, while flipping through a college guidebook. Back then, I had never even heard of the school; thus, I was a bit clueless as to what was actually offered. However, the more I researched the school, the more intrigued I became. The three main attributes of this school that especially appealed to me were the honor code enforcement, the liberal arts education offered, and the fact that it is an all-undergraduate institution.

Some may argue that every school enforces an honor code; thus, Davidson is no different from other institutions. After talking to representatives from this school and reading the "On Our Honor" brochure on the Davidson website, I can say I strongly disagree. Davidson's Honor Code is an integral part of student and faculty life; if it were not, the level of interaction between faculty and students would not be possible. From past experiences at a Baptist elementary and middle school, I know that values instilled at an early age and reinforced throughout the formative years play a crucial role to a person's development. In as enriching as my middle school was in that respect, the focus seemed to be more on sermons than actual practice. At Davidson, I trust that the Honor Code will not be preached at us; we are simply expected to carry it out in all we do.

The liberal arts education offered at this institution is almost sure to equip an alumnus with an understanding of all aspects of life, both in and out of the classroom. I have never been able to understand how a history major can completely avoid the sciences and still consider himself or herself "educated", just as I cannot understand the computer science major who cannot write. Davidson's requirements will shape a student's faculties all across the board.

All-undergraduate colleges, by their very nature, provide more one-on-one attention than large universities. This is something that I very much appreciate; I know I cannot have this anywhere else. Undergraduates elsewhere might be simply lab assistants instead of researchers; they might just go through the motions of reading Camus instead of delving into the study of existentialist literature. At Davidson, I know that this will not be the case. We, as students, will be given multiple opportunities to engage in discussion and hands-on learning.

As a member of the Davidson community, I will contribute my dedication to and passion for the academics in classroom discussions and work, as well as any research project I become involved with. I will also enrich the world through engagement in the arts (in some form or fashion.) Most importantly, I will give back to the community and help others achieve their goals as much I aspire for my own. After all, what is a community of learners if not together in reaching new heights?

To summarize, I admire the practice of the Honor Code, the shaping of a student's education, and the level of student-faculty interaction-----all of which are unique to Davidson. I believe the school would be enriched by the addition of a big-hearted, four-foot-eleven teenager with a dedication for her work and love for science and community service. I trust that Davidson's academics are excellent, and that the community is welcoming. Thus, I have every reason to believe that Davidson is the best that anyone can possibly ask for. For these reasons, I firmly believe that this college is the place for me.

Undergraduate / 'more than just a five-letter word' - Davidson honor code essay [NEW]

I would appreciate any suggestions as to how to condense my response to the prompt.

Prompt:
The Davidson community abides by the Honor Code that governs academic and personal life. As a prospective member of our community, discuss the benefits and drawbacks of the Honor Code and your role in it.

Honor Code

My response:

What is honor? Honor is more than just a five-letter word, something to learn in Bible classes, or something to just hear your parents admonish you about upholding. It is a way of life.

Davidson's honor code embodies the two values I cherish most------integrity and loyalty. I understand that the college has full faith in its students to uphold these guidelines in their entirety---this is evidenced in its policies of untimed exams, take-home assignments, and the like. This is also obvious in the fact that most students feel confident that they can leave their belongings and return to find them untouched----which is unheard of at most schools.

The application of the honor code has many advantages. First and foremost, it contributes to a safe environment---one in which crime of any kind is not just written off. In September, my mother had her wallet and checkbook stolen; I cannot describe how worrisome that was for all of us. Though others offered us sympathy, and the police tried to track down the culprit, the theft was ultimately written off. Knowing that everyone in the college is honor-bound to report such incidents (and most likely end up helping the victims) is a relief. It is nice to know that there are still people who care what happens to you if something should go badly wrong.

Second, I am sure that having the honor code enforced instills a better student-faculty relationship. Elsewhere, the honor code would just serve as something to hold over one's head should a student break the rules; it is just a set of rules. At Davidson, the code will enable students having issues with something---such as a class---to talk to the professor rather than resort to cheating. The code makes the professors more accessible and trustworthy.

Third, the sense of trust between students and faculty should spill over to the student body's interactions with each other. Because the students know they can trust each other, they are more likely to work together in harmony to overcome the same obstacles---no one feels like they have to "go it alone". This, in turn, creates a better sense of community.

There are not many drawbacks to the honor code itself, but there may be to what stems from it. These may include helping someone that one does not like, or reporting something that a close friend did wrong. Yet, one cannot truly consider them "drawbacks", for helping anyone does that person good---provided the favor is within reason---and reporting a friend, in a way, tells them you care about them. The main gripes of students are most likely not about the code itself---but other rules the administration may make to protect students from potential harm. These, in my opinion, do not have as much to with the code as with personal preference.

If admitted to Davidson, I will uphold the code in its entirety and help others do the same. Such basic principles should not be questionable----they should be integrated into our daily lives in and out of the classroom. After all, one cannot treat a way of life---so based on morals----as just words. If everyone applied the code---Davidson student or not----to their normal tasks, the world would be a much better, safer, and more connected place.

Undergraduate / "Soprano, alto, tenor, bass!" - Davidson Essay (for Common App) [NEW]

I am using the Common App for Davidson College, and my essay topic is choice #1 (Identify a significant experience and its impact on you.)

Here is what I have so far.

"Soprano, alto, tenor, bass! Bottom of five, last system."

From the second we stepped into Lindsay Hall for rehearsal that first morning, we were thrust headlong into the intense world of music majors. At first, the activities seemed relatively normal. As the hours wore on, though, the teachers' incessant hammering of one aspect of a piece----sometimes for an entire lesson--- irked me. Why did we have to spend thirty minutes tuning a chord or come to a ninety-minute rehearsal ---at nine in the night----when the piece sounded just fine as it was?

Throughout my week at that choral camp at Florida State University in June of 2007, I wondered what I had gotten myself into. I thought camp meant a fun place, not a place where fun came to die. I have never wanted to be a professional musician, I thought. What good will this do for me?

As the camp progressed, though, I grudgingly admitted that there was intrinsic value in what we were doing. We were getting better every day, thanks to our own work and the teachers' urgings and instructions. It was also evident that all the instructors loved what they did. Their dedication and passion showed---every time they yelled "Yes!" at the top of their lungs, every time they told us "Brava!" They did not teach, play, conduct, or sing for the money. They did it because they wanted both their music and their pupils to be the best they could possibly be. I, however, did not fully fathom this ---or understand why it all mattered-----until the night of the final performance.

As we stood upon the risers in Opperman Music Hall that evening, the techniques we had learned became second nature; we used them to tell our stories through song. The Vivaldi Gloria became a song of praise instead of a source of consternation. Bloom was a beautiful, flowing melody instead of a senseless blur. Ride the Chariot was a call to prepare for the Judgment Day instead of a raucous ramble. Instead of discord, there was harmony; instead of fighting the music, we were part of it. The din from the audience was deafening when we closed the program. All the stress on technique---all the hours spent practicing----had been worth it.

That night, I realized I could apply what I had learned throughout the week about dedication, love, and passion to all my endeavors. Consequently, I did not complain so much when the demands of coursework during my junior year required me to put in more hours of study than I was used to. Though I was no stranger to toil, that year was the first time I did something without complaining how hard it would be.

The lessons I learned that summer have carried me through many a difficult task, and will continue to do so in the future. I know that my goal of becoming a physician---a goal I have had for years----will only be reached if I am willing to put in time and effort. I know I can do it, simply because I have dedication to and love for science and community service. Thus, the qualities I possess---dedication, love, and passion----will strengthen Davidson, and give me the tools necessary to carry on a successful, healthy, and happy life.

Undergraduate / ART is anything that requires skill, ingenuity,imagination; FSU-Vires, Artes, Mores [2]

I feel like this is very drab, and it needs some spicing up. I'm not exactly sure how to do it.

What is art? Art is not limited to a single, traditional medium----not just a series of brushstrokes, or a ballet performance. It is anything that requires skill, ingenuity, or imagination. It is the application of these techniques that make these pursuits beautiful----be it a laboratory investigation, a booklet of poems, or a precise manner of dismantling the remote control.

At a very early age, I exhibited reasoning, mechanical, and verbal powers-----skills I would later apply to several endeavors. For instance, I was able to use special observations and mechanical strengths to dismantle the remote control at nine months of age. This was evidence of my reasoning powers---I had never even seen my parents change a battery. Later, I would use these same reasoning powers in the field of mathematics and sciences. Similarly, my verbal faculties were very highly developed----enough to interpret the role of "teacher" in my elementary school's annual "kindergarten graduation." In the years that followed, I turned my talent for verbal interpretation to oration, then writing short stories and poems. Thus, I discovered the art of words.

My mechanical and reasoning talents seemed dormant until high school, where I was thrust into the world of numbers with a vengeance. Forced to apply the logical side of my brain, I soon discovered that with a bit of practice, geometry was not as difficult. Soon, I started to see the sense behind the proofs and a logical pattern behind the algebra. I saw clarity in Descartes' rule of sign, sense in chemical titrations, and pulchritude in a solution to a twenty-step proof. Thus, I discovered the art of problem solving.

My discovery of these arts, though inspiring and beautiful, could not match the desire I felt for an escape. Therefore, I was introduced to music, dance, theatre, and the visual arts at age six, and continue to value all of them today. The traditional arts may be some of the hardest to engage in, because the artist is using more than one faculty of his or her brain. Great art---of any kind----always requires skill, cleverness, and creativity on some level. It cannot come naturally, as the other art forms may to some. One must put in more blood, sweat, and tears, for less pay, to produce an oeuvre. Despite the thankless duties of a traditional artist, however, the rewards always outweigh the hardships.

At a glance, my pursuits may seem to be totally dissimilar. Yet, the artist sees that all require the use of special skills at the proper times. I consider everything I do in life as an art, for all of it requires ingenuity. Therefore, my life exemplifies "artes" in all I do, and will continue to do so as a Florida State Seminole.