Writing Feedback / [toefl] Build art museum or recreational facility [3]

It's more important for the government to spend money to build art museums and music performance center than to build recreational facilities (such as swimming pool, playgrounds).

A public debate on the question of whether the government should be spend money to build art museums and music performance center than to build recreational facilities has arisen to attention. There are diverse attitudes from people with distinguishing backgrounds. Some people would like to spend money to build art museums and music performance center; while, other people would like to build recreational facilities, such as swimming pool, playgrounds and etc. Personally speaking, I agree with the assertion that building recreational facilities is more important for government than art museums and music performance center. The reasons for my preference include the following.

First of all, from the perspective of the art museum, it is not deny that people, especially youth, really learn more history knowledge about art from art museum. Most important, enhance the students understanding of the arts, which leads to enthusiasm to learn specially knowledge and heritage the outstanding cultural of nation. This really is an important investment for government. However, it drawback is that only possess at most one or two art museums in a city, and to visit the museum within the prescribed time even some museums only pay certain fees have right to enter, which leads to people visit museum one or two times in a year.

Second of all, unlike art museum or music performance center, recreational facilities, such as swimming pool or playground, play a key role in daily life. People take exercise to getting relaxed from a busy and stressful work in the playground. For example, in the morning, people have a morning run in the playground to let them cheer in a whole day, and in the evening, people will have a stroll or play badminton to relax. What's more, every university or school or community possesses a playground or swimming pool to exercise without pay any fee and enjoy a happy environment. People more would like to play in playground or swimming pool than art museum or music performance center.

All in all, although some people may still remain unconvinced, the reason I have analyzed this question is that I want to at least make them more aware of the various dimensions of the issue under discussion. There is little doubt that more and more people will come to realize that it is more important for the government spend money to build recreational facilities than to build art museums and music performance center.

i hope everyone will correct my essay and post your advises and i have a obviously progress in my writing under your help.
thank you very much!

Writing Feedback / [TOEFL] young people should try different job before taking a career! [2]

Young people should try several different jobs before they take a career in a long term. Agree or disagree?

A public debate on young people should try several different jobs before they take a career in a long term has arisen to attention. There are diverse attitudes from people with distinguishing backgrounds. Some people would like to directly to take a career without try any different jobs; while, other people prefer young people should try several different jobs. Personally speaking, I strongly agree with the issue that young people should try several different jobs before they take a career in a long term. There are several conspicuous aspects as follows.

Firstly, taking several different jobs can provide reference advisors to young people, whether they are really like the job or not. According to a statistics shows that several millions young people complained the job which they are taking, even worse, many young people offered their resignations to company, most of them is not taking any different job before taking a career in a long term. This is the reason that they do not like the job even hates it. Thus, I think that taking several different jobs is necessary step before taking a career in a long term.

Secondly, taking several different jobs can broaden young people's horizon, and enrich their experience. For example, a young people to interview with many practice experiences and a young people who is a graduate without any practice experience. The employers will recruit the young people who have practice experiences. When they meet some obstacles to conquer due to young people could provide several available solutions to solve the problem, at some extent, young people promote the company development and get more incomes for company.

Finally, interest is beginning of the success, it leads to job involvement and job involvement leads to enthusiasm and more response. Young people will regard job as an indispensible part of their life. This is necessary step in the procedure of career. Young people could enjoy happy or sad with the development of the job.

All in all, although some people may still remain unconvinced, the reason I have analyzed could at least make them more aware of the various dimensions of the issue under discussion. There is little doubt that more and more people will come to realize that young people should try several different jobs before taking a career in a long term.

everyone give me suggestions or help me to correct grammer!
thank you very much!

Writing Feedback / Toefl: knowledge gain from experience or book [2]

It has been said," not everything that is learned contained in books." Compare and contrast knowledge gained from experience with knowledge gained from books. In your opinion, which source is more important? Why?

A public debate over knowledge should gain from experience or books have arisen to attention. There are diverse attitude from people with distinguished background. Some people would like to gain knowledge through reading books；while, other people prefer gain knowledge from experience which one face dilemma and take effective method to solve them. Personally speaking, I'd prefer to gain knowledge through experience; there are several conspicuous aspects as follows.

Firstly, on no account can we ignore the value of knowledge gain from books which is basically element for our growth. However, there is no denying that knowledge gain from experience has a great influence on our life. We are living in a complicated society, it is impossible that every question we met in society has been showing the books which we once read and give better solutions to solve it. It needs us offer different solutions to solve it which depend on different condition. With the development of society, people meet situation is totally different with ancestor's situation. Thus, ancestor can not sum up experience to told offspring how to do it when they face same situation. Take global warming as example, global warming is caused by over-release carbon dioxide recent several decades because people made refrigerator. In order to solve the environment pollution which need people to sum up knowledge from experience or not books because we can not gain relatively knowledge from book. Thus, this is the reason why I'd prefer knowledge gain from experience or not books.

Secondly, different people have different experiences, which have different solutions when they face same situation and people should not limit thought by book, especially textbook. Take textbook as example, so rigid think is textbook that students cannot stimulate their thought. Such as, students are accustomed to rely on textbook in primary school, they think textbook is totally right, while, professor might told students a sentence "do not over rely on textbook, it limits thought and, to some extent, makes many mistakes in some textbooks" when students enter into the university. Students do not accepting the model of instruction. However, knowledge gain from experience is helpful to people growth; it makes people understand that students could learn knowledge everywhere rather than from only book.

Finally, although knowledge gain from books also have its benefit, such as direct share fruit of ancestor's success, in addition, book encourage people reach one's goal when they lose one's heart. But, book present knowledge is boring and make student tired. Unlike knowledge from experience, we can feel the environment of happy and hard when student do their utmost to achieve their goal in life. Thus, the minor is too superficial and weak to strengthen the issue.

All in all, although some people may still remain unconvinced, the reason I have analyzed could at least make them more aware of the various dimensions of the issue under discussion. There is little doubt that more and more people will come to realize that knowledge gain from experience is more important than from books on my view.

Writing Feedback / TOEFL: amusing movies or serious movies [2]

Some movies are serious, designed to make the audience think. Other movies are designed primarily to amuse and entertain. Which type of movie do you prefer? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

A public debate on amusing movies or serious movies has arisen to attention. There are diverse attitudes from people with distinguishing backgrounds. Some people would like to watch amusing movies, which are designed primarily to amuse and entertain; while, other people prefer watching serious movies designed to make the audience thinking. Personally speaking, I more would like to watch serious movies. There are several conspicuous aspects as follows.

Firstly, it teaches us how to optimistically face dilemma situations and provide effective methods as much as possible to solve it. Take "The Pursuit OF Happiness" as example, Chris Gardner, who is actor of the serious movies which it gives me a further thinking from my view. When Gardner faces unemployment and homeless, but he never give up his dream, which is working in a top financial company in America. Moreover, he will never let any opportunity slip away from his fingers once he meets the unique opportunity. No matter how difficult in his life, he is still trying his best to face these difficulties with confidence. Eventually he conquered these obstacles and his dream came true. After I watch the movies, I think about many things and I will learn the spirit of Gardner, if I were taking in a bad condition, I would learn to be confident and smile to the life.

Furthermore, I will think more thoughtful about things than before. To some extent, it stimulates inspiration and creation when watching serious movies. Despite movie is not real but it is origin from life. We will suffer many troubles all through the life. For instance, difficult project put me in bad condition some time. In order to better solve the difficult we perhaps need some inspirations from other aspects like watching movie rather than rigid think at the office. Perhaps a sentence or an idea from a serious movie will inspire one in the respect of solving problems, and thus we might get unexpected result. Not only we can relax our body and mind through watching serious movies, but also done better in the work. Thus, I prefer serious movies.

Finally, although amusing movies also has its benefit, such as relax mind and body, and enjoying the happy environment, but they can share the feeling watching serious movie. Thus, the minor is too superficial and weak to strengthen the issue.

All in all, although some people may still remain unconvinced, the reasons I have analyzed could at least make them more aware of the various dimensions of the issue under discussion. There is little doubt that more and more people will come to realize that the advantage of serious movies.

Writing Feedback / I recommend that government should spend more money on improving highway [2]

A public debate has arisen concerning that government should spend more money on improving highways or public transportation. There are diverse attitudes from people with distinguishing backgrounds. Some people like ones living in villages argue that government should spend more money on improving highway; while, to some extent, some city folks prefer investing in public transportation. Personally speaking, I recommend that government should spend more money on improving highway. There are several conspicuous aspects as follows.

The main reason for my propensity is that highway is playing a vital role in the development of the villages, since highway could closely connect rural and urban. Firstly, living in a noisy place for a long time, city people more would like to spend their holidays in villages where is quiet, close to the nature, and with less pressure which is health for them. Thus, it would boost rural travel industry. Moreover, higher and higher house price in cities have forced a lot of people, especially young people, to take a heavy burden. With highways, it is much easier for them to drive between cities and villages daily, so they can choose a relatively cheaper house in villages near the cities. Thus, many companies, such as super markets, will be introduced to villages and prompt the development of the villages.

Another reason for my propensity is that highway is an infrastructure which building highways will provide relatively many jobs for some people who are the unemployed. Take building a highway as example, government building a highway, which is a huge project. It needs more many people to work and it is one of solutions to question that help the unemployment. It provides guarantee the unemployed a basic living level, highway is free to people as well. Moreover, an enterprise is not able to building a highway for it has not enough money to support it. Even if it has ability to build it, the aim of the enterprise is attain more many profits from it. Such as: the establishment of toll gate is a common phenomenon. This is a very huge expense that individual driving one's own car to work will spend around 50 yuan from villages to cities which have 40 kilometer daily. However, government builds highways to serve the people by the people to pay taxes.

All in all, some people may still remain unconvinced, the reasons I have analyzed could at least make them more aware of the various dimensions of the issue under discussion. There is little doubt that more and more people will come to realize that government should spend more money on improving highway. Not only provide so many job to people who is the unemployed, but also provides a convenient and fast service to people who are living in the villages and work in the cities.