Writing Feedback / TOEFL: Follow the New Customs of the New Country or Not? [2]

When people move to another country, some of them decide to follow the customs of the new country. Others prefer to keep their own customs. Compare these two choices. Which one do you prefer? Support your answer with specific details.

When people move to another country, most likely, they will face the choice between following the customs of the new country, or keep their original one. Some people choose the former one to assimilate themselves into the new culture, while some insist the latter one because the new customs are difficult to be accepted. As for me, I would follow the new customs, if I migrated to another country.

On one hand, it will be easier for people to assimilate into a new country, if they follow the new customs. When people migrate to a new country, more likely, they will suffer the culture shock, because of the difference between two cultures. The customs is just a form of the culture and following the customs is a good way to know more about this culture. For example, if one wore in white and went to common Viharas to observe a rather longer-than-usual, full-length Buddhist sutra in Buddha's Birthday in India, he or she would learn something about Indian religion and culture. As a result people understand the culture, and then they adapt to the new country.

On the other hand, keeping own customs stably might cause discrimination. When people insist to keep their own customs and refuse to accept the new one, they regard themselves as a special group in the new country, which may cause that the local people regard them as a special group as well and separate them from the main-stream society. One example is that the Chinese immigrants in Indonesia in 1969. They formed Chinatown and kept Chinese language and customs in it. While the Indonesians stopped working at 4:00 pm and went home for rest, Chinese immigrants were still working. Although being much richer than local people, they faced the discrimination: their houses and private cars were buried by local people, because the locals were jealous of Chinese hold so much wealth, which should have been theirs. If the Chinese immigrants had followed the local customs and assimilated into Indonesia, they would not have been regards as a group of Chinese and discrimination might have been alleviated.

All in all, the immigrants should follow the customs in the new country, which can help them survive from the culture shock sooner, and assimilate to a new culture.

Writing Feedback / Seek Independence or Live with Parents [3]

Some young adults want independence from their parents as soon as possible. Other young adults prefer to live with their families for a longer time. Which of these situations do you think is better? Use specific reasons and examples to support your opinion.

Nowadays, more and more young adults want independence from their parents as soon as possible, and more likely, the most effective way is to live independently from their parents to have their own families. Having been influenced by Chinese traditional culture, I do not quite agree with that. In my opinion, young adults should live with my parents to fulfill their filial duty.

For most young adults, their parents need their care. According to psychology knowledge, young adults are people between the ages of 20 to 40. It means that the parents of most young adults are between the ages of 50 to 70, who are getting more and more geriatric. They need someone living with them and take care of them. Besides, old people have more possibility suffering some disease, for example brain congestion. There should be someone present in case of this kind of emergency, because it is difficult for an old couple to deal with such unexpected trouble.

In the meantime, young adults should fulfill their filial duty, especially in China. It is a part of Chinese culture that children have duty or commitment to respect and care their parents in later life. Most likely, the Chinese parents cherish their children and have contributed much more their energy to rise up their children compared with parents in western countries. They have made great efforts to let their children get good education, even get a profitable job. So they deserve the requited love and care from their children. As Chinese young adults, we should not model ourselves on those living in western counties, to leave our parent alone.

Someone might argue that young adults should have their own lives, through which they can have more independence and more productive experience. It might be true, but I do not think that the independence is the top priority. There is something else holds more weight, and the filial responsibility is one of them. What's more, as adults, the role of parents and children should be reversed. Young adults should take charge of daily chores while their parents enjoy their later life. So living with parents does not mean the loss of independence but the responsibility that should be taken.

Writing Feedback / TOEFL 'first instinct'; Are the decisions that people make quickly always wrong? [6]

Decisions can be made quickly, or they can be made careful thought. Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? The decisions that people make quickly are always wrong. Use reasons and specific examples to support your opinion.

From my perspective, the decisions that people make quickly are not always wrong. The rush decision may be wrong if it is made when we are in great anger and lose our intellect, or when we are tempted by something. However, in many cases, the decision we make quickly is right. What's more, some decisions can be made without careful thought and in some situations we have no time to think twice before making a decision.

We make decisions every day, and not every decision is so important that needs our careful thought. For example, many white-collar workers go out to have lunch every weekday. They make a decision that which restaurant they will go to. Obviously, that simple decision does not need ten minutes to consider gains and losses. It is just a decision for a meal, which have nothing to do with being wrong. The worst case is just the food does not taste good and they will try another restaurant tomorrow. Besides choosing a restaurant, there are many such simple decisions which we make every day. It seems that we can manage few things if we take careful thought on these simple decisions, and those daily chores will not likely go wrong if we decide quickly.

In some situations, there is not so much time for us to think twice, because the chance may be lost in any minute when we hesitate. So we sometimes just go with our first instinct and decide what we should do. Most likely, our decision is right. For example, someone fall into the river and is drowning. In this case, most of people will try to rescue the drowning one without any thought, because our instinct makes us to do that, and we should not have careful thought because the person may drown anytime. Without doubt, this rush decision is right, because it can save a life.

As it can be seen, the decisions that people make quickly are not always wrong. What's more, there is no need to think twice before make every decision, and we should follow our first instinct sometimes in the emergencies.

Writing Feedback / TOEFL: Whether to have uniform as the compulsory clothes in the highschool [2]

Some high schools require all students to swear school uniforms. Other high schools permit students to decide what to wear to school. Which of these two school policies do you think is better?

Whether to have uniform as the compulsory clothes in the high school has been the heated discussion topic for many years. More likely, the students think and the teachers stand on two opposite sides: the students want to wear their own clothes while the teachers insist that there should be a uniform. As an undergraduate who is a high school student before, I stand on the students' side: the high schools should permit students to decide what to wear to school.

One of the reasons is that it is students' freedom and right to choose what they wear. Generally speaking, almost every boy wants to look cool or handsome, while girls want to be pretty or brilliant, which is human's nature. So students should have the freedom to wear cool or beautiful. What's more, the clothes may be a mirror of one's personality. For example, the person who is outgoing will more likely wear clothes with bright colors, while the person who is shy may be like clothes with deep colors. So wearing one's own clothes is a way to show his or her characteristics and personality, and of course, students should have the freedom to show their personalities. Even if school has a uniform, the students should have the right to choose whether to buy it and whether to wear it.

Someone may say that the same uniform can avoid students comparing clothes or wealth with others, so that students can focus on their studying. I do not agree with that. It is very common that comparing what I have with what others, which not only happen on the students in the high school campus, but also happen on almost everyone in today's society. So it is meaningless to avoid it. What should be done is teach the students how to deal with it. That is the value of school, where students not only learn the academic knowledge, but also learn how to survive in the society, and not always comparing with others is one part of that. Besides, the uniform cannot even avoid this problem, because in the same suit, students can focus on the shoes, mobile phone when they want to compare with other. As far as I'm concerned, to permit students to wear their own clothes just gives the students a chance to face that problem, and start to find the solutions.

As you can see, the uniform deprives students of the freedom to choose what they wear, masks students' personalities, and does nothing about its original goal: to avoid students comparing with each other on the clothes or wealth. So it seems that the uniform is not necessary at all. Let's drop it and wear our own clothes.

Please give me some feedback on content, structure, and language.
I also want to know about some TOEFL writing tips.

Writing Feedback / Someone is worth us telling the truth, someone isn't. [4]

Question:'Do you agree or disagree with the following statement: Always telling the truth is the most important consideration in any relationship'
This is my first time to write a TOEFL essay. I hope you can give me some advice in detail, so that I can do better in the second time. It is more than fine if you can share some TOEFL independent writing tips. Thanks a lot.

Essay:
Telling the truth plays a very importance role in our relationship, but it doesn't mean that always telling the truth should be the first consideration in any relationship. Someone is worth us telling the truth, someone isn't. Someone needs the truth, someone doesn't need it. If we thought it more deeply, not telling the truth is not equal to lying, sometimes we lie just because we are more considerate.

There is no doubt to tell to the truth when the truth is what the listener expects to hear. The question is whether we should tell the truth when it is something may make the listener feel angry or offended, for example the listener's fault. I think the answer depends on who the listener is. If the listener is your close friend or who you love or who is seeking the truth, of course you should keep honest and loyal without hesitation. However, what if the listener is an arrogant guy who never take others suggestion? Those fools need no truth but praise, just like the emperor wearing nothing processing proudly. Would you take a risk to tell him the truth, which benefits him nothing but may make you get attacked or rejected, or be implicated into some worse situation? I will think twice in this case.

Not telling the truth does not always mean that you are lying. Sometimes we just say the event in another way to let the information we want to express meanders rather than spouting out, in which way, the truth can be easier to be accepted, rather than shock the listener. For example, you want to tell a mother that her daughter got injured in an accident and is in hospital now. Instead of telling the weak mother the bad news directly, you may describe the new in another way, in which it sounds less serious. Sometime lying is harmless, even is beneficial to the listener in another way, that is, the white lie. Some cancer sufferer will never be told the illness they get. Because the truth will make they feel hopeless, that is, be defeated by the afraid of death.

As you can see, some people do not worth us to take a risk to tell them the truth. In some special cases, the truth does harm to the listener while the lie benefits them in another way. So I don't think always telling the truth is the most important consideration in any relationship. What is the most important one depends on what kind of the relationship is.