Writing Feedback / IELTS: Is environmental damage evitable if a country is developing? [7]

Pleas help me to correct and improve this essay. Thanks in advance.

Topic: Pollution and environmental damage are inevitable results when a country is developing and growing its wealth. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

It is true to say that the global warming, which is one of the main issues these days, is caused by pollution and other environmental damage. Some people hold the belief that the impacts on the environment cannot be avoided when a nation is getting richer and deriving.

While a country is improving its economy, a large sum of money will be invested in industries. Therefore, many trees will be cut as more land is needed to build houses, factories and to cultivate crops. In fact, cutting down trees can damage the environment severely because trees are lungs of the earth. Moreover, as a nation is getting wealthier, more people travel to other countries or places by airplanes and drive their own cars instead of using the public transports such as buses and trains. As a result, air pollution happens because it is caused by cars and airplanes. In addition, as people in a rich country generally have a desire to keep up with new and modern things, they throw out the old ones, which are still usable. Consequently, the amount of rubbish in the world will increase dramatically.

Although environmental problems are serious, there are several solutions to solve them. Firstly, the government has to educate their people about pollution and environmental damage, so as to prevent further harm to the environment. Secondly, the government must limit the number of trees that can be cut and they have to grow more trees in the park and along the roads.or streets. Additionally, people should use various types of public transports or walk from one place to another, in order to reduce air pollution. Also, the government ought to improve the quality of public transports by making them more comfortable and more affordable, so people will enjoy using them. Furthermore, citizens and the government must have a recycling programme by recycle glass, paper, cans and other recyclable materials. In this way, the amount of rubbish will decline.

Taking everything into account, I strongly believe that pollution and environmental damage is avoidable if both the government and people co-operate and take parts in protecting the environment. As soon as all these solutions are put into actions, environmental problems will be solved, no matter how much a country is developing and growing its wealth.

Writing Feedback / IELTS: Making an ideal society (opinions and solutions) [5]

All feedback is welcomed. Also, please help me to improve the vocabulary that I used in this writing so as to make them more formal.

Topic: People often think about creating an ideal society, but most of the times fail in making this happen. What is your opinion about an ideal society? How can we create an ideal society?

Society is a community of people who have the same customs, laws and cultures. For many years, creating a perfect society has been a wish of everyone all over the world, but it is a very difficult task to do.

In my opinion, I believe an ideal society has many aspects. The first point that makes a perfect society is peace. Actually, in a country where there is no conflict or disagreement people generally live contently. Another factor is good security system. If there are no crimes such as murder, burglary, arson, robbery and fraud in a society, people will not need to live in fear. In addition, good security system will attract more investors, which helps to improve the country's economy. Moreover, a perfect society must consist of sociable and kind people, who help and support each other when they are in some kinds of terrible situations.

In order to create an ideal community, there are a number of things to do. Firstly, those who live in society have to get on well with each other. If there is an argument, they have to settle it by having a peaceful talk or discussion, so as to avoid conflict. Additionally, every person must obey laws and rules, which were created by the government. Furthermore, everyone in society should get to know each other and learn to forgive and forget. For instance, if a person does something wrong, other people in the community have to correct that person's mistake by telling him or her with kind words. Also, solidarity within a country is significant because it can lead people to success in doing everything.

To conclude with, an ideal society has abundant factors. In my point of view, I think making a perfect society is extremely hard. However, if all things mentioned above are put into action, I am certain that an ideal society will be successfully made.

Writing Feedback / Choosing desirable subjects to study in the university? [3]

I'd appreciate all feedback.

Topic: Some people think that the government should choose the subjects that students will study in the university, while others say that students should be the ones to choose their preferred subjects. What is your opinion about this? Give your reasons and include relevant examples.

The development of every country in the world requires human resources and educated people. Thus, many students are encouraged to continue their study in the university. There is a consideration that the government should choose the disciplines that students will study in the university. However, some groups of people believe that giving priority to students to choose their favourite subjects to study is more desirable. In my opinion, I think that students have to choose subjects to study in the university themselves, but the government ought to take a small part in students' decision.

Some people have talents since they were born, so it is a good idea to give freedom to them to choose subjects that are suitable for them and require their talents. Moreover, students might feel disappointed and discouraging if the subjects which are chosen for them are the disciplines they do not want to learn. As a consequence, they do not study hard and concentrate well on their education, which cause some problems to their performance in their future job.

On the one hand, the government should recommend some disciplines to students who are indecisive about what they are going to study in the university . In this way, students can make a quicker and better decision. Furthermore, the government has to inform their people about the job sectors that are lack of people working in. Therefore, the number of people working in various job sectors will be balanced and it is more efficient for students to find jobs after graduating from the university.

Taking everything into account, I believe that it is more preferable for pupils to select their desirable subjects to study in the university themselves. Despite that, the government must also play a role in helping some students to choose suitable subjects because it helps the development of the country as well as helping students.