Student Talk / Common Application Essay won't upload! [40]

Hey,

My common application personal essay won't upload! I tried converting it into pdf, txt. I tried logging out and back in again. I even enabled my popup blocker. But it won't upload! Any help? My deadline is approaching FAST!

Undergraduate / Common Application ("He crossed my life") [2]

Hey (: This is for the commonapp short activity (world limit 150). Can you please correct my silly grammatical mistakes? Any suggestions on the content or the flow? Thank you! Current word count is 204. How can I cut it down?

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He crossed my life for a very brief moment in the winter of 2005, but I try to keep him alive in my memory. I know nothing about him, but he inspired me to organize Not on our Watch Club with a friend.

I remember passerbys walking and laughing with their friends while he slowly pushes his antique cart probably looking for recycled paper or empty bottles to sell.

We see people like him everyday but we don't have enough spare time to help. That is why he inspired me to organize this club. I peruse people to donate weekly by depositing their changes from lunch into our donation box. Our club would hold Friday Food Day, the 23 of us would make specialties from our own country to sell in hope to lure in classmates to buy and donate. Besides using the money to help them, we also go personally to communicate with them. We have helped a lot, from beggars, homeless, the animal shelter, disabled children and recently we are helping parents whose infants were affected with the tainted milk scandal.

I never saw him again but I do hope he is well. Sometimes, a lending hand is all it is needed.

Undergraduate / "right now is my second chance" - UC Prompt #2 [3]

Hey guys! Can you please correct any grammatical errors? Also, what did you get by reading this? And possible suggestions on how to make it better?

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PROMPT #2 Tell us about a personal quality, talent, accomplishment, contribution or experience that is important to you. What about this quality or accomplishment makes you proud and how does it relate to the person you are?

At birth, risks are all we know, and everything is new. Yet, we still learn to crawl despite the many bruises we may stumble upon. However, the problems come when we cling too tightly to what we already know. After all, we can't crawl forever-or don't have to at least.

Many times during the past years, I have felt lost and alone, afraid to take risks. In these moments, I could not scream for help because I failed to find anyone who would listen. I felt the pressure of my teachers, my mother, as well as the pressure I was putting on myself. Slowly, I start to drift away and lose hope in myself, not even wanting to talk to my friends or family.

Then one day, I could not stand it anymore. I was at my computer madly typing my English essay when my mother kindly suggested that I rest for a while, but I ignored her and continued typing. My mother then patiently repeated herself and seconds later, her screaming began, "I have HAD enough of this. I am your mother. Show me some respect!" The words triggered me. I screamed at her, "You never help me with anything! You don't even know what the SATs are! And you call yourself my mother?" Furiously, I stared at her.

My eyes saw something that I would have never suspected: a tear running down my mother's left check. My mother who nurtured me cautiously, sacrificing her dreams to help me accomplish mine, was crying. I wanted to fight the tear, angry at it for ruining my mother's beautiful face but I felt ashamed. It seemed so easy for my words to take all of her years of love of me for granted.

I was almost too ashamed in thought to notice that my mom had come over and wrapped her arms around me. She apologized. I wanted to shout, "No! You have it all wrong! It's my fault! I'm sorry, mom" But before I can say anything, my mom said: "Give me a second chance, now won't you?" And a huge smile spread across her face.

I realized then, more than ever, how much my mom truly did care for me. Before, I feared of leaving her in China to go the States. I feared someone not being there for me. I was afraid of taking risks before because I was afraid of being alone. What would I do if I failed? Where would I turn?

But now I understand that when I gain a clearer consciousness of the world I live in, I may still be presented with failures. I thought these failures were harder than the bruises I got when I was young, but the failures are the same, and my mother is still right there to pick me up. It is with her smile on that day in my mind that I asked myself: where would I be without the hunger to explore, the desire to try new things despite the pitfalls waiting for me? I can grow and change and have second chances! Second chances!

And right now is my second chance. I realized that simply resisting from change would not solve the setbacks I may face later. I will be brave and take my chances. I may get hurt and fail over the next four years, but when I do, I know one person who will always be right by my side. I will try my best; give it my best, right now, beyond and later in life. Most importantly, Mom...I love you.

Undergraduate / "my drink" - UC Prompt #1 [4]

UC Prompt #1: Describe the world you come from - for example, your family, community or school - and tell us how your world has shaped your dreams and aspirations.

Please check for 1) Did I answer the prompt? Was my "drink" confusing you? 2) please check for grammar. 3) possible suggestions! Thank you!

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I drank an unfamiliar drink; one that requires great effort because of the beany smell. The tall white cup containing it represents my culture, my background. Getting past this tall cup is a struggle, for overcoming differences can never be simple. This drink I hold in my hands looks like expired milk dipped in cheese yet people around me are savoring this unfamiliar drink. I decided to take a sip which after, I had set foot on a journey between two worlds, which I am still on today.

The coarse aftertaste running into my throat as if the beans were not processed fully, reminds me of the difficulties when I first came to this new world, far from my home in San Ramon, California. I remembered my stories of language barriers, contradicting truths and different perspectives. But as the steamy drink spread through my body, making me warm and safe in this dead cold winter, I remembered the lessons and experiences I would not have a chance to learn elsewhere. My classmates from all over the world-Ireland, Brazil, Australia, Indonesia, and Taiwan have taught me to accept and to respect. I am honored to have met these intelligent and people with various characteristics, enjoying memories of challenges overcome, ideas unleashed and the fantastic times together.

The two worlds I am living in are what made me peruse majors involving communication and international affairs. I want to be in a world where I can learn from different people who grew up in different cultures and backgrounds where right in this culture may be wrong in the next. Where I can see ideas bouncing off the wall and conflicting with each other. Where I can feel alive.

Through this drink, soymilk as some may call it, I have tasted that my future is filled with hope and difficulties and has also taught me to strive valiantly. Soymilk, my two worlds, has taught me to be bold, courageous, passionate and humble. I have learned about my two worlds, which I have also found myself.

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Also, I don't like my last paragraph. Any possible suggestions?
Thanks in advance!

Undergraduate / UC application #2 (describing activities in limited space) [2]

Hey Gloria.

Please edit any grammar mistakes and any suggestions on how to make them better? Thanks!! My general question would be: how do you describe your activities lists given such a limited space? Thank you!

1. I earned the Public Spirited Award in 9th Grade for my involvement and dedication in community service inside and outside of school

2. I worked for Blue Point Advertising Agency. I was in charge of collecting data, organizing them, and also as a translator

3. I am in charge of translating mostly Chinese and English either in text, or speaking.

4.This course has taught me how the different cultures of artists affect their brushwork and other. It has taught me to look at art more in depth.

5.This course has helped me question how reliable are the knowledge we get from others. What is correct? How is it correct? What is truth?

Undergraduate / my activities list - UC application [2]

Hi Gloria!

Please help me check for grammar errors, and suggestions on how to make them better? Thanks in advance!!

These are for my activities list.

1. Chinese calligraphy: we have to use a brush and write beautiful traditional Chinese characters. This was very hard for me because one extra line or dot can change the whole word.

2. Co-founder of Funky Union, a club that sells homemade treats after school and then donate the money to my local shelters. It feels wonderful to contribute.

3.Peking Opera can be defined as Chinese cultural dance-battle between two. Wooden swords are involved. I am honored to participate in such a rare activity

4. I am the editor in chief of my school yearbook. I am in charge of selecting the best from all our ideas, make them work out and make sure our peers like them.

5. I was elected as the Public Relations Officer in the Student Council. The Public Relations Officer 'markets' activities and events to students and teachers.

Undergraduate / The Peking Opera - Describe your activities [2]

Hi. I have to elaborate on two of my activities. Please check for 1) grammar 2) the flow of the essay 3) any suggestions on how to make it better? Thanks in advance!!

I was elected as the Public Relations Officer. To me, it is the best office in the student council. I love advertising and marketing and being Public Relations Officer lets me do what I love to do. The most challenging thing I learn is that as the Public Relations Officer you have to get the information across, not violating any school rules but to also make it 'hip, and cool' for the students to actually interact and understand it. This is the most challenging part but also the most fun.

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The Peking Opera is not an activity most people are familiar with. It involves heavy clothing and traditional chinese makeup. We uses wooden swords and long sticks as our 'instrument' to perform. I love Peking Opera not because of the traditional chinese makeup but because I get to experience something very different. Not a lot of people get to do Peking Opera but I am thankful that I am blessed with the oppturnity to participate, to learn and to compete which my team got 4th in the district. Peking Opera not only taught me the Chinese culture but also a very valuable lesson in life. Through the performances, my teacher once said that 'even though the fastest, smartest student may master these techniques quickly so they can get it over with, it is the one with the most passionate and determination that will master these techniques for life. I don't mean Peking Opera techniques but the little tiny techniques that people who just want to get it over with can not see. Sometimes all of you have to just slow down and look around you, because a lot of people miss what's right in front of them to excel something they think is more important in the future.' This lesson that my Peking Opera's teacher taught me is a very valuable lesson that cannot be learnt by watching T.V or by memorizing history facts. This lesson is taught when two people of the same passionate get together and talk.

Grammar, Usage / Quote "we get older.." - how to cite it? Correct usage of "we." [5]

Hey, i just registered on Essay Forum. And I would like to ask a question. I'm sorry if this is not in the right section but I do not know where.

I have this very interesting quote i jotted down because I loved it.

"But when we get older and gain a clearer consciousness of the world we live in, we are still presented with failures. We think these failures are harder than the bruises we got when we were young, but the failures are the same. We only think these failures are more important is because we have a better sense of the world around us, and know what we want. "

Is this from here? And if I want to use it, how should I use it? Do i put it in quotation and include the author's name? Thank you

Undergraduate / Community Service-Teaching and Chinese calligraphy -HELP ON Extra-cirrcular [2]

Hi,
This is my first post so please help. (:
The title says it all.

I have 2 topics in mind:
I'm majoring in business, so please which topic is the best.

a) Community Service-Teaching young kids. How hard it is to address my intended information to them. but i loved teaching them. I have learned on how use different method to communicate with different groups of people

b) Chinese calligraphy- Didn't want to join. Had to pick this or martial arts. But after a while, I loved it. Practicing over and over again on the same stuff for many months. I have learned patience etc.

I might have some other topics later, but these as for these two, which is the best to show i'm passionate and that i have learned something?